Day 1 again and again and again.

This article was first published as an update in the Members Feed by @tipsytoegal and I thought it so powerful it was worth featuring here. Enjoy.

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@tipsytoegal:

Day 290 - 10 days to having a 3 in front of those triple digits. DEFINITELY a milestone for me! Whenever I saw others in the 300's for day count I was in awe, and here I sit on the precipice of it! I'm so proud of me.

My life is SO different than it was just 5 short years ago. And even though alcohol followed me through that transition, on May 1 2024 after 5 years of trying to quit, that switch finally flipped and my motto became "NOT ONE DROP." And I have stuck to that for 290 days.

I know when I have posted here during these last 290 days many of my posts make it seem like its been smooth sailing and easy. Because it has. But not because it's been easy to quit... HELL no. It's because for 5 years before that, I went through all of the trials and struggles of TRYING to quit. I fell oh so many times. But each time I gained a valuable tool to add to my sober tool belt.

I learned about self care, about playing it forward, about really being conscious of how it feels to feel tired and sick all the time from drinking.

I paid attention to how it affected my work, my mood, my health. How it affected my decisions to lie to myself, and others. And even though I drank through those awarenesses, I was still gaining strength and knowledge that brought me to the point where I finally said NO MORE.

I've done the hard stuff, over and over. The hardest is to get a bit of mileage on the sobriety count, only to start on Day 1 again. And again. And again. THAT IS HARD SHIT!

I don't care what anyone says though....it is not failure, it is progress, because you learn something about yourself and alcohol each time you do. And once you see it, you can't unsee it. And even if you have a big bender, its never the same again, you're too aware.

At some point, the misery of that awareness finally propels you to the point where you make that ultimate decision. And that's what I did May 1st 2024.

So this time, I am not "struggling" like I did before on so many previous attempts. I am resolved. I am determined and there is NO going back for me this time. No more "what ifs". No more "one offs" to tuck under the rug and "not count" as a slip. They only acted as little splinters in my mind that I covered over with denial. Yet I felt guilt and shame despite still trying to add up day counts after it, they festered and eventually burst open in yet another bender because I wasn't being authentic!

No. NOT ONE DROP. THAT is the only thought I will let into my mind now. And that is a big part of why I am at 290 days and counting.

So if you are here, you are ON the journey, no matter how many day 1's you have. Just the fact that you STATE that it is day 1 again proves you are on the journey.

Just keep gathering those precious pearls of wisdom along the way, they will add up and are far more valuable than you can imagine.

@tipsytoegal