10 Years of Living Sober - Original members speak

One of the most delightful things about Living Sober is the strong connection the people who join our community feel with the site and other members. I recently reached out to a bunch of our original members who joined soon after we launched in 2014, to hear their memories about our site and what a difference it made to their lives.

Below are the words they shared.

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@prudence: I was one of the first 200 on the site on launch day. It changed my life, it gave me warmth, friendship, connection, laughter, support and a way to express myself and attempt to help others. I went to gatherings in Wellington and Whangamata and hosted a few myself at my newly built home my son built, made possible by my sobriety. I've made life long valued friendships. My favourite saying was "Give the piss a miss and find your bliss" 😅

@pearl: Next month is my 10th anniversary of kicking booze to the curb! I still don’t know the exact date but it was towards the end of August. I rhymed myself sober and loved all the folks on LS cheering me on just as I was cheering them on. We are now living in the beautiful Papamoa , it’s a great life! I am so glad you shone a huge light on alcohol and how wine o’clock can suck you down a destructive path. Lots of love xxx

@scared: Man, I sure as hell remember my first day and the following early days. Glad they're over and I am so clear on what I want. Living Sober created a safe place to land. As I lurked, I felt relief wash over me reading other's experiences - they got it! I was in the right place. Living Sober is like a cocoon - a safe, comfortable and supportive place where you can be who you are. As time went on and my confidence grew, I've made friends for life. We have a bond and connection other's who haven't experienced what we have just don't understand.

@wildchild: I remember the wonder of discovering people who were like me — who would have thought! And the welcoming messages on my very first post just flooded me with gratitude — I finally felt heard and accepted! I am coming up to eight years sober now and I know that it’s thanks to the LS community and the friends I made. ❤️

@rise2015: I joined in 2015, and got 6 months sober before thinking I was clever enough to moderate. By 2018, I realised I was an all or nothing person and got real with myself - now just clocked 6 years sober. I remember logging in so nervously with my anonymous name wondering what might be on the other side of the login and lurking for some time before joining in the conversations. One of the biggest lessons I learned from the site was that although there were many and varied reasons people had arrived in that space, they all understood that alcohol had become a problem for them. The value in that was knowing that anytime of day and night if you posted there was usually someone who would respond who got what you were going through. A true 24/7 support.

@ange: I loved LS in the early days (2015) when it was a small community - I genuinely felt that everyone I interacted with were all friends I had yet to meet! I like to think my enduring moment was coining the phrase "Booze is shit. Thank fuck I quit". Nine and a half years alcohol-free. I've never looked back. Woohoo!!

@spinnerz: I remember it all quite well! I have just clocked over 10 years in June! I started with your blog Lotta so was one of the first. I have never posted much but remember our get together in Wellington! That site helped me so much all the positive vibes and complete non judgemental support! I would never have made it to 10 years without you all! Hugs to all 😁

@emjaycee: Living Sober was a vital part of successfully removing alcohol from my life. When I was thinking about giving up I didn’t know anyone else who was struggling with it. It’s just something you don’t tend to talk about openly with those close to you. My wife didn’t even know how seriously I was struggling with the decision. I was still moderating when I joined the site, and seeing people write about their struggles both helped me feel less alone, and gave me the encouragement that it was possible to give up completely. Here were all these other people who couldn’t moderate alcohol either, and had decided to quit. Then there were the people a year or two down the road who were cheering on the new ones, proving to us we were on the right path, that things would get better. And there was also Mrs D - the ultimate cheerleader - in our corner too. LS gave me a tribe of support and encouragement when I needed it most. I’d still be drinking without it. I still have friends from the site. Life still has it’s ups and downs, but not one day have a regretted giving up alcohol. It’s one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life. Happy 10th birthday Living Sober!

@seedynomore: I remember my very first day sober because I spent it hungover in bed, searching the internet for something or someone to help me with my drinking and I felt scared that I wouldn't be strong enough to change. But there you were., Living Sober. I read through some of the stories and just cried because there were so many other people out there like me. I have had two drinking nights over a period of roughly 7.5 years. I really can't even remember the exact date I found Living Sober, but I do remember the relief. I'm so grateful to all of the members that came and went on the site and I love that I can still share anything I like with many of you, without feeling judged. That’s really special

@hetiheti: Wow. The Living Sober site and myself are both celebrating our 10th anniversary in August. I was miserable with my drinking ... and I caught wind of this site at the best time possible for me. I joined the site on August the 15th and just read everything. 5 days later I decided to stop. I was scared, very scared as my alcohol free days always left me feeling so flat and was expecting this to be my future. I just about lived on the site, especially in the late afternoons and evenings. I loved the support,  motivation and inspiration from others on the same journey. It was so empowering. I am so grateful for this site that gave me the  support I so needed and made me stronger and happier. I was able to become my true self again and regain my health. At 65-years-old that was a super bonus. CONGRATULATIONS LOTTA and the LIVING SOBER SITE!

@charlie: Ten years!! Well aren’t we sober superstars?! I have not had more than a sniff and never will, since day 1. I remember the day I decided to quit drinking well. I will never forget the first week, month. 100 days and all the early, hard won milestones we ticked off as a group. The first Christmas, wedding, every bloody kiwi celebration and the nightmare they presented. I logged in to Living Sober multiple times a day, from the loo at a party sometimes! First thing I did each day was check in and catch up on how all the characters were. Funny how you build a picture of the others online “It’s ethanol alcohol poison!” @hetiheti would say. @mac007 offering practical sound advice. What a great bunch of faceless support, almost any time of day there was one of us awake and online giving help or comfort. Helping each other was so vital in giving and getting strength to face our daily struggles. It was hard and not always the journey we thought it would be. So much raw honestly and guts spilling. After a few years I found I didn’t need the site but didn’t stray far. Maybe three years in I stopped visiting. I will never forget that hard but special time. The personal growth. All our tools we developed over time. The kindnesses of strangers. Now, ten years later and my kids pretty much finishing their teens, I realise how important Living Sober was and how perfect the timing was in lots of ways. A life saver.

@hellsbells: I joined LS in the winter of 2020. I had an ongoing problem with drinking wine, I would compulsively drink a bottle, by myself, 3- 4 times per week, always in the evenings. I kidded myself that this problem never grew worse, so it was just part of life. I drank myself through the 2020 lockdowns and then on a road trip in July I heard an interview with Mrs D on RNZ. Mrs D is very compelling and convincing, and that evening I joined LS, and stopped drinking for around a year. Everyday, almost, I was on the site, supporting or being supported, wow what a great community! I was quite active in organising meet ups, and made some friends I still meet with. It’s wonderful to have that shared language and acceptance of slip ups and regrets about them. Most of the LS community I connected with were working often quite responsible jobs and had families or friend groups who were oblivious to the pain alcohol was causing them. Many were secret drinkers like me, and many had been sober for years and still used the site for support and to give back support to others. By early 2023 my time being a member of LS had run its course. I was still drinking occasionally and sometimes fell back into my old pattern for a week but generally could pull back out of it and that continues today. Thanks for all the support and wonderful people, LS was life-changing for me. Arohanui