There is no downside (guest post from @ylang-ylang)

Member @ylang-ylang posted this update in the Members Feed the other day and many of us thought it was so fantastic it needed to be featured here as a guest post…


@ylang-ylang: I haven’t got a story or a new experience to share. I just wanted to send you all, my fabulous sober family, love. If you’re struggling today or new, or feeling a little overwhelmed, or if you’re just wondering about the value of living a sober life, I have something to say to you.

There are difficult days being sober. Emotions that you’ve previously avoided will come back and bite you on the arse. These can be difficult. I do want you to know though, that they are entirely do-able.

You’ll have some shit days sober. But you won’t have the 3am body check (oh god, dehydration and another hangover) that comes with the regret/self loathing/guilt (I drank HOW MUCH?! Really? AGAIN!) middle of the night self hatred sessions, and the constant feeling (because it’s true) of having let yourself down, again.

You’ll have some days when you wish you could be a normie (you can’t, that’s just how it is).

You’ll have days when you’ve convinced yourself that the only thing that will make you feel better is booze. This is bullshit, and you’re wrong. The only thing that will keep you feeling better, long term, is staying sober.

Remember at all times that the support here at Living Sober is fantastic and that everyone on here is on their personal version of the exact same journey as you. We get it. We understand the good days and the bad days. We have all made the exact same choice as you.

Sobriety over booze.

Life over booze.

Our families over booze.

Our physical and mental health over booze.

We all chose ourselves. This is not a hairspray ad, we really are worth it.

I woke up this morning, unhungover for the 330th morning in a row. No regrets. No desire at all to go back to those shitty mornings from before. When I stopped drinking I knew it was to reclaim my life. At no point have I thought of this process as ‘giving up’ something. In fact, it’s all been gains. I am proud of myself. That’s something I’m not prepared to give up.

I’m healthy. I’m not prepared to give that up either. My kids are proud of me and I’m a waaaaay better and more involved parent, absolutely no way am I giving that up. Let’s not forget the money Wooooo hoooooo I’m paying for my car with what was formally my booze money. A car. A CAR! How’s that for something that is a gain. The ability to drive safely at night without the fear of being pulled over for the dreaded breathalyzer test. That never gets old.

I only see gains. I haven’t given anything up. There is no loss here. There is no upside to booze. Being sober; there is no downside.

Happy Day everyone. I am so proud to know you all you fabulous sober warriors.


  1. MrsMoo 9 years ago

    @ylang-ylang & @Mrs-D. Ive had a rough day today as far as obsessive thoughts go… (which is not particularly usual for me)… and so I am lurking in the blogs… I remember when you first posted this. I just love it so much! Mrs Moo “no thanks, I don’t drink” xxx

  2. Jacy 9 years ago

    Meant thank you @ylang-ylang!

  3. Jacy 9 years ago

    I only see gains. I haven’t given anything up. I will repeat these sentences often!!! Such great perspective!! Thank you @ylang-yang!

  4. Anonymous 9 years ago

    thank you thank you thank you! Your words have touched hearts today and made a difference.

  5. Anonymous 9 years ago

    thank you so much for taking the time to write this , feel like you are writing about how I felt this morning am 348 days sober and loving it

  6. Anonymous 9 years ago

    Just what I neaded to read today! On day 540, and I had a shitty night thinking about drinking, and stupid things I did in the past because I drank. Didn’t sleep a wink, so not surprisingly- had a shitty day. I was a bit shocked: thought I had the whole thing figured out..A bit stupid, I think. All part of recovery, I suppose. Shitty days just go with being alive:-) And, indeed soooo much better without the hangover and guilt and angst connected with drinking. I DO know this, always. But today I really needed somebody else to spell it out! So, thanx very much xxx nuchter Maya

  7. QuietlyDone 9 years ago

    Thank you for expressing this so beautifully, great post!! Very proud to know you too!

  8. Jules 9 years ago

    @ylang-ylang you have nailed it. Sober life is incomparable. I don’t want to experience all those boozing consequences ever again, and I just love posts like yours that puts it all in a nutshell and gives me a boost to my power against the alcohol demons. Thank you. Thank you. 🙂

  9. Gilbert 9 years ago

    It still amazes me that we all feel such similar things.A great reminder and I never want to forget how bad I felt.Thanks for this xx

  10. delgirl68 9 years ago

    Lovely post. I’m going to printout out and stick it in my journal, thank you xx

  11. Stephe 9 years ago

    Great post! Couldn’t have come at a better time. 35 days sober and feeling sorry for myself that I can’t sit on the deck and drink wine in the sun. I had some chocolate instead. I am gaining a new life, a better life and only giving up negative things. Thanks for the reminder 🙂

  12. Augusta 9 years ago

    Yes I agree with all my being, nothing to loose but plenty to gain.

  13. NewShoes 9 years ago

    @ylang-ylang and @Mrs-D , this post was spot-on. Thank you for sharing.
    “I don’t drink” is a choice. To take back your life, dammit. To not give breath or attention to that little voice saying “just one” or to those naysayers who are not good to be around anymore. And for those of us who want to embrace sobriety, having this online community has spurred me on to try again and for the first time in years, I am getting on top of this beast. My skin looks better, I laugh more, I don’t hide out from everyone, planning what cocktails I will guzzle all weekend. I’m hydrated, loving the herbal Republic of Tea “Be Well” varieties (Get Some ZZZ’s, Get Happy, Get Relaxed) . I’m losing weight and have started a TIP JAR ($4/day) for each day I succeed in sticking to my new “I don’t drink” stance. Thanks to all of your out there who are sharing and encouraging others. Your attempts are brave, wise and very much admired. You all rock!

  14. Peace 9 years ago

    Love love this post. Hangeroverless mornings never get old!

  15. Bondi 9 years ago

    Thanks @ylang-lang so true xxxx

  16. madandsad 9 years ago

    Oh I love it! Thanks @ylang-ylang and thanks @Mrs-D . I am living all this now and it really is the truth xxx

  17. sophia2 9 years ago

    Brilliant post. Sums it all up.

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