This update was posted by our beloved long-time member @ylang-ylang (over 700 sober days hooray!) in the Members Feed the other day. In it I thought she perfectly summed up how our lives can unfold and settle into a new state of calm and joy after we give up booze. With her permission I am reprinting it here so more can enjoy it. I love her description of ‘Drinkinghangoverland’…
@ylang-ylang: Before I moved into my new house, I bought a gorgeous new rug for my new lounge. It stayed rolled up, wrapped in its plastic bag, it’s been leaning against the wall in the lounge. Miss 11 has been very excited to open it. “Not until we’re unpacked” I told her. “It’s the last thing to be unpacked.”
Last night I was sitting on my sofa, with a true ‘happy place’ moment. I looked around to appreciate it. The rug was down (we put it down last night and the Miss 11 and Mr 15 and I rolled around on it for a while with much delight and words like ‘fuzzy’ and ‘soft’ and ‘aaaaaaahhhhh’ and then we lay there in a lovely quiet hug). I had my cute new tea pot and my ‘For the mum with the biggest heart’ mothers day present from Mr 15 when he was Mr 8, filled with yummy herbal tea, feet up on the coffee table (never ever buy a coffee table you can’t put your feet on) watching TV.
The house is unpacked. There is still some sorting in my room to be done and there are a couple of boxes of books yet to be found (in the garage I think, not sure). We’ve been in here less than 3 weeks and it feels very much like home. The kids are happy and we’re settling in beautifully.
I would not be in this happy place if I had still been drinking and I mean that absolutely. I wouldn’t have had the confidence to buy on my own, nor would I have been able to afford to do so if I’d still been drinking.
So, big sober picture: my life is more or less the same since I stopped drinking 703 days ago. I still work in the same place, my ex husband is still a dick, I still eat too much cake and don’t really get enough exercise. I am on a tight budget and live week to week. I have a lot of the same friends, some gone, some new ones. I bought a car, on my own, my first ever really big solo purchase. My car represents my sobriety in as much as I’m driving around in my booze money (car repayments are what I was spending on alcohol – ridiculous I know, but that’s how much I was spending/drinking) and I bought a house! On my own. That was huge for me. It still is huge for me.
When I was living in Drinkinghangoverland there was no way I would have bought a house by myself. I wouldn’t have had the confidence to do it. Also at 51 buying a house by myself was an acceptance that I really am alone and it doesn’t look like I’m going to be sharing my home with anyone other than my kids. That was hard and if I was still drinking I wouldn’t have been able to move forward past that fear/emotion. But I did because I don’t drink.
So last night my new rug went down in my new lounge and my gorgeous kids and I rolled around on it and then lay there quietly, being awesome and happy and together and this all happened because 703 days ago I decided to take my life back.
Being sober, there is absolutely no down side.
How beautiful, gives me hope! I too have lost a truck load of confidence!
What a gorgeous picture you painted with those words. I love it.
What a uplifting post to read. You painted a very vivid picture of you and your kids rolling around in your rug of happiness! I am so very happy for you and the lovely life you are making for you and your kids. You chose happiness! Well done @ylang-ylang well done! 🙂
What a fab post, i love it. Thanks ylang-ylang, you’re life sounds so very peaceful and contented xxx
Oh man I’m so slow, I missed this!
But I love it. And I’ve loved tagging along with you watching you put one foot in front of the other, forging through it all.
You’re amazing and that’s that xo
Thank you Ylang-ylang.
I just love this @ylang-ylang You sound deeply satisfied and content. Just so great to read this uplifting post. Thank you.
Congratulations! Well done… my happy moment of reflection was this weekend…my first sober get away to the beach….no wine! No wine with dinner. No wine on the beach. No beer with the crabs….no arguments with BF. No hiding the empties. No looking for an excuse not to go along with BF to the store so I could drink a few. No hangovers. No eye openers. No awkward conversations about events I don’t remember. NO SHAME!! Worth the bit of struggle to be truly present with those I love just being me! 🙂
Thank you so much for this post, as others have noted, it’s inspiring and gives me yet another good reason to remember, everything is possible sober.
Enjoy Ms. Y, you have earned it!
Thanks so much for sharing your journey so far @ylang_ylang. You’ve just reminded us all of what the beauty so being sober is all about – being able to enjoy the things in life that cost nothing – ang really feel them plus remember them!
Hi @ylangylang this post has made me teary in such a nice way
This brings tears to my eyes – how transformative becoming sober is for you and for everyone on this brave, countercultural journey. Journey back to the self. That may sound goofy to someone still drinking, but it’s true – recovery is about recovering your true self. Huge congratulations on your new house, 703 days, and may you and your kids be very happy where you are!
You’re absolutely right. It is a journey back to self. Perfectly put. 🙂
This is such a great post @ylang-ylang. When I first read it, I thought, “she sounds like a quality person and a great mom”. You are so content in your new life it is inspiring.
Loved reading it the first time and even more now. I really enjoy the way you write. xxxx
Loved reading this again, makes me so happy XXXXX
Wonderful post @ylang-ylang and huge, huge congratulations on your new home, your bravery, and your 700+ days sober. You’re a hero. 🙂
Wow @Ylang-ylang I love this so much. Congratulations to you for all you are celebrating. Your bravery, your acceptance of life how it is, your confidence, your children, your wonderful new home and not to forget, your new rug. You have described an absolutely fabulous sober success story. Winners are grinners xoxo
You are a brave, wonderful, successful and soberlicious lovely lady. I love your rug story, it’s real, it’s raw, and you’ve done it!!!!! Thanks for sharing.
This is such a wonderful, and inspirung , read. It is giving me so much hope that I can continue to turn my life around. Continue to enjoy and appreciate the little things…..as they truly are the best. Xxc