We’re hosting a big dinner party here on Saturday night. A 10th Anniversary Dinner Party Extravaganza! for our Antenatal Group who met through Parents Centre years ago. I wrote about these people in my book.. we’re a wonderful group of friends who all live in separate suburbs but come together regularly to share and support each other.. and have fun!
I don’t think any of these people ever realised what a problem my drinking was. They probably would have known I was an enthusiastic boozer.. but not the full extent of my drinking across the week (no-one knows unless they’re in your body & mind do they..?). And certainly the last 4 years of my drinking when I was really hitting it hard I was away from them all up in Auckland.
When I came back to Wellington I was sober and even though I don’t think they fully realised what a journey I’d been on they were lovely and supportive. It’s hard for outsiders to know what a massive thing getting sober is.. what immense hard work we have to do and how we feel almost like a completely new person after we beat booze to the curb.
I used to think some folks thought I’d just blown on a feather and got sober. Ha! How far from the truth that is. Lucky for me now I’ve written a book and raved on about it in the media and on-line so much there can be no illusions of the work I’ve been doing. But not everyone gets to do that. This is why we need each other. We know what hard work it is getting sober. We do the same bloody hard work ourselves! Aaarrgghh shitty hard work.
Just checked out the ‘Members Feed’ this morning and thanks everyone for making me cry again…! So much loveliness going on. So much kindness and support and nonjudgmental interactions. Just awesome.
So anyway, this dinner party tomorrow night. I’ve bought some fun Mexican plastic flags, sort of like multi-colored bunting which we’ll string up in the kitchen/dining room. And we’re going to set up a party room for the kids with a disco ball and mini ‘bar’ (my 10 year old is in charge of that and has plans for lolly money). It’s pot-luck so every family is bringing a plate of food or two (and we’ve had fun emails flying around organising that!) and of course it’s BYO drinks and most people will drink alcohol.
But not for me of course. I’m thinking tonic water with orange juice (thanks to a members suggestion).. or my usual favorite soda water with fresh lime juice squeezed in it & ice cubes, in a large green glass goblet. I don’t care that I won’t be drinking. Not one iota. This night is about friends and laughter and food and togetherness and love. It is not about what is in my glass.
Alcohol has no power to make this occasion special. It does, however, have the power to fuck me up so it can fuck off. Sorry about the swearing on a Friday morning but I’m feeling pissed off at how we are all so hard-wired to believe booze adds to our lives and it doesn’t.
It just doesn’t.
Love, Mrs D xxx
Also there is the marvellous Virgin Mojito – sugar syrup, ice, lots of mint, lots of lime juice , soda water. Even my wine- drinking pals love it!
Huh? What do you mean she can have the weekend off? What?? No Mrs D buoying us along! I hope we will all cope. I guess we have each other. I can’t understand why she can’t work 7 days a week from 8 in the morning until 10 at night?? Put a bit of effort in Mrs D!!
I don’t think I could stay away from this site if I tried! It’s sooooo amazing how lovely everyone is being! And it’s just so easy and fun to keep interacting and responding to folks. But don’t worry.. I’m going to work on balance and staying on top of my ‘housewifey’ duties…!
OK so that was a touch sarcastic – sorry in a funny mood (think I had one too many coffees!!)
Have a brilliant night. And thanks for reminded us that this IS hard work (no one around us gets that do they?) and we are doing a great thing here. I feel like I am working so hard, and it is so unrecognised (OK, not having a good day). Talking about swearing – my friends and I are TERRIBLE, so at one party my daughter set up a swear jar – she made heaps of money, with some people paying her a flat rate so they could swear all they wanted. Might be worth mentioning to the kids! 🙂 xx
Ha ha my kids set up a swear jar for me recently – oops!
Sounds like a fun night will be had by all. Children…aren’t they marvelous? they will be so excited and have such a good time and feel so important. Sometimes, like right now, with all the weighty problems of the adult world, I just long for that fun freedom of being a child. I am going to hold onto that thought and see if it can help me to enjoy social occasions without alcohol. Like Jason Vale says “you didn’t need booze to have fun when you were a child”. And I remember so well the happy childhood I had.
Tonight I’m going to some friend’s house for Indian. It will be my first social occasion. I hope to be lively and at least a wee bit interesting. I am scared I will just be real flat and quiet and boring, when I am usually more like “the life of the party”. Ah well, it’s is just a low key visit to some very good friends that are over from Australia for a visit. I hope you all have a wonderful evening tomorrow Lotta……….enjoy xo
Enjoy your weekend Mrs D. Forget about us for a while and keep away from your computer. Your guests and family need your undivided attention. We are now well on our way thanks to you. I’m sure on Monday you Will catch up with us all and keep us on track.
Thanks Dotty! I will enjoy my weekend but don’t think for one second I’m going away from this site.. how could I ? I love checking up to see what is going on….
Thanks again for all of your hard work in bringing us all together!
Although alcohol wouldn’t add anything special to your party, you certainly have earned a treat this week, to go along with the Mexican theme of your party, how about some non-alcoholic Sangria?
Peel and thinly slice one apple, place in large pitcher, cover with juice of one lemon, juice of one orange, and one small can of frozen cranberry/grape juice concentrate, add sections from one additional orange and a pinch of cinnamon, let sit one hour, just before serving, add 3 cups of seltzer, pour over ice.
Enjoy your weekend!
Yum that sounds really delish.. totally yummy.. will see if I can find that frozen cranberry/grape juice concentrate that you talk about in my local supermarket.. thanks QuietlyDone!