Sober Story: Rae

This week's Sober Story comes from Rae, a 57-year-old living in Christchurch. The photo is of her dogs who she says are, "the most joy in my life."

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Mrs D: How long have you been in recovery?

Rae: 5 years 10 months

Mrs D: What can you tell us about the last months/years of your drinking before you gave up?

Rae: I had no off switch once I began drinking. My whole social life and time at home revolved around drinking. I was stressed out, and was losing control of myself.

Mrs D: What was the final straw that led you to get sober?

Rae: I realised I was a wreck emotionally and was using alcohol to get through the days.

Mrs D: How was it for you in the early days? What was most difficult?

Rae: The first 10 days, I thankfully, worked from home which meant I could manage the weariness, nausea and total lethargy getting through the withdrawal. What was most difficult was also the best, it was completely cutting myself off from everything, except work.

Mrs D: What reaction did you get from family & friends when you started getting sober?

Rae: Everyone has been supportive, and I think some surprised that I chose to continue being sober.

Mrs D: Have you ever experienced a relapse?

Rae: Thankfully not. When I decided to become sober, I did it with the mindset of taking each day, week, months, year as I wanted and fortunately, I never chose to drink.

Mrs D: How long did it take for things to start to calm down for you emotionally & physically?

Rae: Physically, the effects of detoxing lasted only a couple of weeks. Emotionally, took a few years as there were experiences from past and present that I had to deal with.

Mrs D: How hard was it getting used to socialising sober?

Rae: At first I chose to not socialise, especially not in the way I used to, so I was very lonely at first. Now, I can be in social situations when others are drinking and I'm not affected by it.

Mrs D: Was there anything surprising that you learned about yourself when you stopped drinking?

Rae: I think I learned that I could set whatever boundaries I needed to, to keep myself safe from the past hurt, and the people who triggered me.

Mrs D: How did your life change?

Rae: I completely changed socially. I no longer participate in the activities that fuelled and enabled my drinking. I'm happier at home with my dogs.

Mrs D: What are the main benefits that emerged for you from getting sober?

Rae: Having the ability to face situations with a clear head, and have the ability to financially deal with unforseen circumstances.

Mrs D: Would you do anything differently given the chance to go through the process again?

Rae: I would like to have decided to be sober much, much earlier in life.

Mrs D: What advice or tips would you have for those who are just starting on this journey?

Rae: Read, read, read....gain the knowledge from others who have become sober, and find what resonates with you to give you strength and support to keep going. Communicate openly with people and don't be embarrassed that you have chosen not to drink.

Mrs D: Anything else you'd like to share?  

Rae: Your sobriety is personal, and you don't have to justify your choice to anyone.