Cravings are arseholes. They hit and they can be so powerful and they suck.
Often they come on the back of some emotional pain, so they're pain on top of pain. And they can be so hard to resist.
My mind would get utterly obsessed with the craving, all I could think about was how much I wanted a drink, how a drink would be just lovely, how easy it would be to just have a drink, how lots of other people were having a drink right now and enjoying it, how a little wine would't hurt, boy did I want a drink, couldn't I just have a wee drink?, I deserve a drink, I WANT A DRINK!!!!!!
On and on and on the craving would go inside my head - because predominantly that's what a craving is, a wall of non-stop words inside the head that just won't shut up. Meanwhile my body would be restless and itchy and jittery and out of sorts. My whole being would be out of sorts. Craving, CRAVING a drink.
Bloody arsehole craving.
I tell you what. Those cravings are not going to go away if you feed them. This is the awful truth. If you feed them, they stay strong. You have to ride them out again and again and slowly you will starve the bastards and they will fade away.
Know this when a craving rears it's ugly head. Try to step back a little from inside yourself and detach. It is not you, it is a passing feeling.
Talk out loud to the craving. Say, "I'm having a hard-out craving right now" to your loved ones or your reflection in the bathroom mirror. Even that little act will diminish it's power a little.
Be curious about the craving. Examine it in a clinical fashion. Where you are feeling it in your body. Is it a tightening in the chest? Is it tension in the shoulders?
Then do some things to help you get through;
*Visualise yourself getting into bed sober and waking up so, so happy with no hangover or guilt
* Run yourself a big, hot bath
* Go for a run
* Eat something yummy or make yourself a smoothie or a hot drink
* Go to bed and hid under the covers
* Walk the dog, pat the cat, feed the fish
* Play cheesy music really loudly and SING
* Yell out loud "I'M NOT FEEDING YOU CRAVING!!!!!!"
* Do some yoga
* Go for a swim
* Bake a cake
* Binge watch Netflix while eating chips and dip
* Write out all the reasons why you don't want to drink alcohol any more
* Phone a friend
* Write a letter to your future self about how brave and amazing you are being
* Log in to the Members Feed here and talk to others who know what it's like to fight off bastard cravings
* Do some housework
* Pluck your eyebrows
* Sit outside wrapped in a blanket and count the stars
* Do some gardening
* Walk the streets at night
* Comment at the bottom of this post with any ideas you have to beat cravings
* Know that the craving won't kill you
* Know that if you resist this craving the next one will be just a tiny bit weaker
* Trust
* Have faith
* Hang in there
* Believe
Do one or many of these things, or your own things, and slowly over time, the more cravings that you resist the weaker and less frequent they will get until eventually they will disappear altogether. Gone.
Trust me on this. I used to experience such strong cravings all the time but now I'm over five and a half years sober and never get them at all. NEVER!
And I sure don't miss those bastards at all.
Love, Mrs D xxx
Hi, I just joined today. Love this, and all of mrs d’s posts. Meditation often works for me…can be 15 or 30 minutes or more. The ritual and incense are very comforting.
Loved this! ❤️
great post thanks Mrs D. Bastard arsehole cravings- naming them will help me!
I am sober 6 months ten days and attended my nieces wedding last night. Alcohol was all around me, so were my family that celebrated my sobriety and rehab in Odyssey. I can never have another drink because i love my family too much and ive hurt them too much unintentionally with drinking. Reading this has made me smile because of the similarities we all share. I am not alone which makes me happy and stronger one day at a time. By the way it took me 11 months to be 6 months sober, the hardest part was getting past 30 days
I drank heavily for 35 years daily mornimg through to night.. I’ve done something I thought never possible, so hey if i can do it, any one can do it. Just have faith in yrself
Did you go cold turkey or get treatment? I’m a heavy drinker and want to stop but I don’t know if I have the strength to do cold turkey
thanks Mrs D, 15 days sober and reeaally depressed
Bad luck. Try and do something nice for yourself if you can. Hot chocolate with whippy cream works for me. 🙂
thanks Mrs D, 15 days sober and reeaally depressed 47 year old at the moment. Hoping this depression will lift but 1 thing I know for sure is I cn never have another drink ever again
Sometimes I find what works is to just sit with the feeling of the craving, to not run from it but to deeply feel it, and realise it isn’t hurting me. Sometimes I need to do something, if the trigger is from boredom, but when it’s from intense feelings I find I need to sit through those. I love this article!
I needed to read this. I find I argue with myself over whether I’m actually craving a drink or just really want one just for the h*** of it. I wish I would accept once and for all that I crave it and need to learn how to deal with that emotion for what it is. Otherwise I worry I’ll keep justifying and minimizing and carry on as per my usual.
@jeaniejean omg I so understand you. That bloody mind game my brain plays is hideous. But I’m going to try some of these tonight when I get home from work…..I may even benefit by losing a bit of weight 🙂
@jeaniejean omg I so understand you. That bloody mind game my brain plays is hideous. But I’m going to try some of these tonight when I get home from work…..I may even benefit by losing a bit of weight 🙂
Thank you this is a really great list.
If it helps anyone, the best thing that I use to beat a craving is being brutally honest about what I’m actually craving. I don’t want to drink just a couple of drinks, I don’t want to drink just one night a week. In all honesty it’s black and white, I want to drink at least two bottles of wine, probably three, maybe four! I want to get smashed, anything less would be absolute torture. The sickness, near death experience that were common I just don’t want to ever go there again, especially after coming so far. So no, a drink, even just the one will never be an option.
Happy sober day everyone ?
Totally agree! great honest post. Love it.
Talk to your craving. Absolutely !! Treat it like its a person and give it counter thoughts and alternatives.. Same as mindfulness does in retraining the left side of your brain.
I’ll pass on the plucking my eyebrows though ?
??
Stress is one of the big triggers for my cravings. Today I was stressed and had to nip out to the supermarket. I stood in front of the wine fridge to confront my craving head on and thought how unproductive my evening would be if I chose wine, not to mention the dramas associated with sneakily drinking it. Chose a small cake instead & later feeling relieved I’ve not taken a step backwards today. Relapses are getting fewer nowadays. Very helpful to hear the cravings will eventually go away.
Thank you. This is a great list and I’m just visualising all the guys plucking their eyebrows 🙂 and could add shaving your legs.
Thank you Mrs D – I’m just over 30 days so new to the sober life – I will from now on think of the cravings as arseholes ?
Thank you this has come just st the right time for me, I have been thinking that one glass would not hurt with my friends in the Melbourne sunshine. It sucks as I have resisted up until now but keep getting these thoughts that perhaps I will have a drink at some point in the future.
I have resisted so well on this holiday, but last night I really wanted just the one … thanks Mrs D xx
Thank you! You give me hope x
<3 Best Post! I need to print this and hang it on the wall!
Just what I needed to hear today. thanks.
Thank you Mrs. D! This is exactly what I needed today.