Can you believe that I don't touch any alcohol ever? None! Not one single drop, ever.
Someone said to me recently that they used to shudder whenever they saw anything I'd written online because they couldn't relate to the fact I never drank. It was just too foreign and freaky for them. And I get it. I used to think that as well, at the end of my drinking days when I was facing a life with no alcohol in it.
I'd look around and it seemed like the whole world drank. So to consider giving up was astoundingly frightening. "Who does that?" I'd ask myself. "Who doesn't drink alcohol in this day and age? How can I live a full, fun life and never touch alcohol ever again?"
I'd look into my imaginary alcohol-free future life and shudder. No champagne to celebrate. No wine to wind down. No beer to cool off. No whiskey to warm up. How would I live if I can't do all these things? What would my life be with no celebrating, relaxing, cooling off?
Because, of course, this is what I'd been conditioned to believe alcohol does. It enables us to live fully. I had this message drummed into me from a very young age. All of the messaging around me - from friends, family, advertisments, the general state of our alcohol-soaked environment - was very firmly in the camp of 'alcohol is necessary to live a full, fun life'.
But hey, guess what? It's not.
I now know, because I had to quit my nasty & destructive drinking habit, that all of these messages and beliefs are complete and utter bullshit. The truth is fully the opposite of what I used to believe. It IS possible to live a full, fun life and never touch alcohol ever. It is!
Dear person who is shuddering right now reading what I'm saying.. please believe it.
I celebrate, commiserate, relax, cool down, bond with friends, grieve, treat myself, host others, do a million different things each and every day.. and I never touch a drop of alcohol. I don't miss it, I don't hanker for it, I don't feel like I'm missing out, I don't fear the future.
I just live and don't drink. Simple. Yes it's hard work at first making the transition but it is so, so worth it.
It's possible, it's doable, it's rewarding, it's fantastic. Trust me.
And if you don't trust me, try it for yourself and see how it works out. You never know what you might discover.
Love, Mrs D xxx
I needed to read this tonight, I’m newly sober and even though the horrors of the effects that alcohol abuse are having on me are still painfully raw, I am living in huge fear of how life will be, how I will be without it. The truth is it isn’t fun, I’m certainly not as much fun as I think I am whilst drunk, I’m loud, inappropriate and unpredictable when drunk. None of it is fun at all, it’s a living nightmare.
My life has got a lot smaller since i became sober. I am going to bed early and not many invites out to dinner. I had my last drink on the 13 of August 2018. i feel i have become a boring person. I needed to stop drinking but I am still grieving an old friend. I don’t want to go back to the old me. Unfortunately there isn’t many people I know where I live that don’t drink. Sometimes I feel so isolated it can be very lonely. How do others manage?
Hello Cathb. The first year can be very tricky. I am sure some days you think This is great I can do this ! Some days it’s like This sucks I wish I could still drink with my friends. The problem is we didn’t drink like a lot of our friends. If we could have one or two we wouldn’t be on this website. You are mourning a loss but think of alcohol like an abusive relationship. No matter how bad alcohol treated us we went back for more…every time. It’s time to break the cycle.
Hi CathB,
Congrats on your sobriety – that’s a great accomplishment! I think finding hobbies or interests might help. It will help to make your world a bit bigger, and you might even find something you’re passionate about. In the past, I’ve taken classes at the local community college, some for a degree, others for my personal interest such as creative writing. My friend takes art, watercolor, glass class, guitar lessons at a community center. Maybe find a book club to join through your local library. Take an archery class, self-defense class, boxing class, etc. Check volunteer opportunities. It can be hard to do these things on your own, but something will click and will be rewarding. Where I live, the ranger station near a park/hiking trail area asks for volunteers to help with the trails, hike the trails and look for trouble spots – I know a couple women who do that.
Hope this helps,
LC
agreed, @Mrs. D, well said.
This is the gorgeous truth about sobriety! Thank you for bringing it into light! So very many of us were programmed to drink at a young age. It’s by far the number one thing to do in my culture. I can gracefully and easily skip it now and am living a rewarding life.
Oh yes, the truth is the opposite! I’ve never been more cooled off, more relaxed than in my sobriety. We often talk about society and culture where alcohol is positioned as a matter of course. But in my eyes the big thing is the alcohol industry and the politics that are influenced by the alcohol lobby (that’s what it’s like in Germany – in other countries politics are more encouraged). This industry makes us believe that without alcohol our live is nothing. They ruin lives with only one intention – making lots of money with telling lies about a sexy, free and adventures drinker’s live and by creating addiction. Everyone who drinks should be aware that he’s perhaps only a puppet on a string for some unscrupulous entrepreneurs who make money with his disease.
Choice Mrs D. I agree the early days are hard to tough out but as freedom1025 says it’s a game changer when it sinks in. I’m at 322 days and I’m bloody loving every single day I wake up clear headed and happy. Not too mention that booze is poison. Maybe they should start reminding people of that in their ad campaigns? To be fair it’s a hard one to knock on the head so when people make the change I absolutely take my hat off to them. Kia Kaha!
I have to say I wonder those things too. In fact a co worker said I’m boring now. Not sure how she knows as we have never been out drinking
Well said @mrs-d. I’m feeling the worse I’ve ever felt but drinking would only make it worse. Drinking wasn’t fun. It takes over and always comes back to collect its debt.
Its the best way to live for me. 13 months and counting! Thank you for your continued support. 🙂
thanks Mrs D, i sooo need to believe this today, am fighting the cravings, I believe you!!
Once this message truly sinks in, it’s a game-changer. Thanks for showing us the light!!
Those are very true words @mrs-d, I remember those very thoughts keeping me from quitting for years. The truth is I am much happier now and my lif is completely my own now that I don’t share it with booze!
As always very well said and absolutely right! Alcohol is a thief of life love and time! ❤️
Well said @mrs-d. What I want to know is how the lies became such a part of our culture in the first place. The theoretical benefits of alcohol may be the original “fake news”!!! My experience of sobriety is such a relief, amongst other things. Life is just more fun without alcohol.
I absolutely love this. I’m only at early stages, but I believe a better life is possible without booze. I just need to get my unconscious to believe it too!
I have to say I wonder those things too. In fact a co worker said I’m boring now. Not sure how she knows as we have never been out drinking