This guest post was written by the wise and lovely@suek after she hosted some friends for dinner recently.
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@suek: The talk starts as I’m tossing the salad.
Friend: Are you still not drinking Sue?
Me: Nope. (Hubs chirps in and says “It’s been three years now!” That made me smile.)
Friend: THREE YEARS??!!!!
Me: Yup.
Friend: Don’t you miss it?
Me: Not at all. I actually really love not drinking.
Friend: Really?
ME: YES! I feel great, and I’m looking pretty good these days too, don’t you think?!
Friend: Yes, you are indeed! Do you think you’ll ever just have the occasional drink, you know, just a wine or two with dinner?
Me: No, I don’t think I will. I really like being booze free. I feel so much better now than I ever did when I drank wine.
Friend: So have you found something else to drink instead?
Me: I’m loving soda water these days.
Friend: So you don’t miss wine then?
Me: No, I don’t. When I first stopped, I missed it massively. But now I can honestly say I don’t miss it at all. I am perfectly happy drinking soda water.
Friend: Wow.
And in my head, I was going WOW too. Not because of the conversation. I’ve had this one many times before. If I’m honest, I always saw it as a kind of a test. At first it was to see if I could say things like this without a shakey voice. And then it was so see if I could I say these things while making eye contact with the person asking the questions. Then it was to see if I could add tiny bit of conviction and confidence. And later it was to see if I could sound like I hadn’t been rehearsing it endlessly, and actually believed it.
This night I realised that the test was over. I was having this conversation and I was confident, full of conviction, making eye contact (and gesturing!!), and this is now actually MY TRUTH. WOW WOW WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All this is to tell you that Things Change.
We get rid of booze, and things change for the better. It takes time, and you need to be patient, but you are healing, and you’re heading in a Very Good Direction. Keep going.
@suek XXX
© 2016
This is great. I need to rehearse a response. I’ve for so long been on the other side saying to a sober friend all those same things. Including how do you stop? Now I need to be strong and shrug it off like it ain’t no thang. Yup, I don’t need it in my life. I enjoy myself. It’s just getting easier.
Yahoo thats so kool
I did seven months once and I just started again
No reason why just thought I would
So fake it till you make it stands out
thank you Suek for your post
I am day 24. Love where I’m at, enjoying my sobriety, feeling really motivated and strong. Just want to know when this bleedin’ insomnia will abate! And considering I was drinking an extra two day worth of calories a week in wine, where is this promised weight loss?!
I have to try and squash my smugness sometimes when I say I’ve been sober for x amount of time….
Otherwise people think you’re boasting and being a holier-than-thou big head…. : )
Great description of how hard it is and how hard you have to work to change behavior. Fake it till you make it!!!
What a fantastic post @SueK. Completely brilliant that you are now standing fully present in your life, on your truth. Awesome. Be very very proud of yourself ♡♡♡
Lovely 🙂 good for you.
I’m still telling people (8 months in) that sure, maybe one day I’ll have the odd glass but for now this is where I’m at. But on the inside I’m thinking ‘Nup!’
What great timing thanks – it is my birthday today and I’m estimating it is probably my first sober birthday since I was a younger teen… and I have had a great day at work with people telling me I am looking great, and even ‘glowing’. It is day 18 btw since I quit drinking at 10.30 pm on NY eve, so great to have good feedback, altho I wasn’t ready to say “actually I quit drinking over the break”…that will come when it needs to
Going to a posh restaurant tonight may enjoy a mocktail followed by sparkling water with my meal. So glad there are decent tasting low cal alcohol free drinks these days – thanks Bundaburg et al…
i love this post. thank you so much sue k!!
Yayyyyy, that’s so great!
Great post.:)
I have been stopping drinking since March 2013. I have weeks of sobriety and then lapse then weeks then lapse.It means I get just glimpses of the freedom sobriety brings, then fall into the hole again.
4 days ago I took my last drink. When I waver I will tell myself that I am healing and heading in a very Good Direction. I like that alot.
Sounds a lot like me but I had never had the idea of finding a site like this one. Most helpful. And I am doing a workshop next Saturday which I hope will give me more tools which might help with staying alcohol free for good. Now I know that if some boozy temptation beckons, I might delay giving in to it, by signaling my plight here
Yep, I am liking the direction I am heading and I intend to keep going xxx
Wow!! Keep Going. Perfect way to end a lovely post!
Thanks Sue!