Socialising Sober (Video)

title socialising sober plus two people chatting

One of the biggest things we have to get used to when quitting alcohol is mixing with other people in a social setting. It’s bloody hard at first socialising without our former best friend booze. This tip video gives you some strategies and ideas to help you when you’re adjusting to a social life without booze.

If you are feeling nervous before you head out, it can really help to focus on all the things inherent in the event ahead that make it good – things that aren’t about what liquid is going to be in your glass. Make a mental list of everything that makes your social event fun or worthwhile. Is it that you are seeing old friends? Do you have a new outfit on? Are you going to get to dance? Is it a milestone celebration? Think hard and come up with at least three good reasons that the social event ahead is fun.

If you can’t think of anything, it’s probably a good sign that you should stay home, and there’s certainly no shame in that! If you do decide to snuggle up on your sofa, drink tea and watch tele instead of putting on your glad rags and heading out – do not beat yourself up about it. I always like to picture all the other people staying home and cosy at the same time as I am, it helps to know that not everyone is partying up large, there are many, many of us doing the exact opposite.

If you have no choice and have to go out and show your face somewhere, then do just that. Show your face – then slip away. Have an exit plan, or as one of our guest posters puts it, ‘know when to back out’. You’re in charge of yourself, do what you feel comfortable with.

If you are heading out, make sure to take ownership of your non-alcoholic drink. Purchase a bottle of something yummy beforehand, or be ready with what you’re going to order from the waiter. Again – you’re in charge so don’t feel shy to be prescriptive about what you want to drink.

Try not to care what others might be thinking about your non-drinking status. What other people think is none of our business, and most people don’t give a toss whether you’re drinking or not anyway. So don’t waste a bunch of energy projecting thoughts into other people’s minds.

If you’re the one hosting the event, there are some great tips here on how to stay sane and sober while welcoming people into your space.

And finally, as always, connect with others who know what it’s like to socialise sober. You can obviously do that through our community here, or through other sober connections you may have. You may get some great tips and advice, or just support for what you are doing, all of which is very welcome when stepping out socially as a sober person is still a new thing.

  1. ladyhope 6 months ago

    Really appreciate being able to connect. All the above posts help. Have been reading The Sober Diaries, in which the author refers to Mrs D – an amazing person who is helping so many of us. Sober Diaries very funny! I am in my 60’s with the rest of my life ahead of me – achieving a dream I never thought possible. Trouble is the damn wine witch is shrieking at me right now and I do not want to continue wrecking my body and drugging up my life. Xmas such a great time to get busy cooking etc…whatever distracts me…

  2. Davaar 1 year ago

    My son invited me to his stag night I told him I’ve stopped drinking he was great he suggested we go to the cinema or for a meal to catch up. In all honesty IAM not ready to socialize in a pub or club I need a lot more time sober for that to happen. I agonised about telling my mates I’d stopped drinking but my close friends were brilliant, my mate and I are going for a drive this Sunday instead of the pub, the west coast has great scenery any time of the year.

  3. psp5719 3 years ago

    Planning a five day away partially business partially social. One friend i am staying with i usually have at least a bottle of wine with her. I am planning on buying some fancy bottles of diet tonic to drink in a wine glass. As i am also on the Noom diet I will be taking some healthy munchies.Fingers crossed.

  4. Calvin 4 years ago

    I have a close friends 40th coming up in two weeks, I’m recently sober and wanting it to stay that way. I’m already anxious about the event. Do you guys suffer this same social anxiety being AF..I think I should cop out but it would be a let down for my friend and myself. The decision is taking up a lot of my energy. Maybe I should challenge myself but what if I fail.

  5. brendahussey 4 years ago

    first post for me ..nervous but determined…had a major wake up call 1 week ago about how destrutcive alcohol is for me… still sporting a nasty bruise on my forehead and the resultant black eye from an alcohol related fall…so many emotions..shame embarrassment being just 2.. no booze for a week ..would like that to be forever now.. tricky times to navigate coming up..beach hop christmas significant birthdays so kia kaha to me ..

  6. soberlife28 4 years ago

    Nice 👍 ones guys as I was clean since December 19 till about June this covid stricken world so can relate to the feeling completely.

  7. rampant 4 years ago

    Had a big birthday party to go to. My first since stopping drinking 38 days ago. I did what was suggested and listed the things other than the usual getting drunk, that I hoped to get out of the event and it gave me something to focus on and calmed me down. I had great conversations with friends, danced, and then drove home at 12.30 feeling proud as punch. No laying around the next day recovering, no taking probiotics and vitamins to make up for the damage I’d done. So awesome! Great advice.

  8. Ngaire 4 years ago

    Tonight was our first “date” in which alcohol was offered at an early show and I declined – and then we went for dinner and instead of ordering a wine which would lead on to more than one, i had a soft drink and water – yay! Was very aware of other diners around me and their wine/beer bottles on their tables but had a really nice meal, came home early, had a cup of tea with my partner all with no alcohol on a Saturday night. Had to write about it s this is 3rd day without alcohol and feel a little smiley:)

    • rampant 4 years ago

      Awesome work! Well done.

Leave a reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Licensed by NZ Drug Foundation under Creative Commons 4.0 2024. Built by Bamboo Creative and powered by Flywheel.

Log in with your credentials


Forgot your details?

Create Account