For some reason these three simple words often make me teary. If you can say this to yourself - 'I am enough' - and mean it, what a monumental thing that is. If you can say this to yourself - 'I am enough' - and believe it, then surely you must have this crazy thing called life nailed. Don't you think?
I am enough.
Because what else is there to achieve in life but the calm contentment that these three words denote? A calm contentment that comes from a quiet place within. If we can achieve 'enoughness' then we win!
Brene Brown the awesome vulnerability guru (watch this talk it'll blow your mind) writes in her book Daring Greatly "With that sense of "enough" comes an embrace of worthiness, boundaries, and engagement." Wow. Not much then. Read the whole book if you want to see how she fleshes out this monumental statement.
'Enoughness' isn't hitched to fancy jobs or perfect bodies or marvelous wardrobes or numbers of Facebook friends or the size of your car or dick or boobs (is that too risqué?!).. it comes from a deep, lovely little secret space in your heart and soul. It's a humble, understated, beautiful, deep-down belief.
I am enough.
And it's fucking hard to achieve.. and honestly I think it's a biggie for us boozers. We all know that taking away the alcohol is just the first step and often there may be much more we need to do to achieve this place of 'enoughness'… but it can be done.
This topic was bubbling around the Members Feed the other day. One member wrote "When I was drinking I used to have drunken ramblings where I would say “am I enough?” “But am I enough though?” “I just don’t feel like I’m enough”. I could never explain what that meant but I just knew that I felt that “I wasn’t enough”. I noticed someone saying it on a post on here and it got me wondering if it is a common feeling amongst drinkers and maybe one of the reasons why we drink/drank. How many of you can relate to that?"
They got this instant response from another member: "Yup….. I never felt smart, pretty, good, rich, thin, clever, fit, tough or kind enough. I’m not sure when I put these expectations upon myself, yet there they were and on occassion still are. Realising who I am is ok as I am. Any improvement onwards is ok too."
I love that "Any improvement onwards is ok too." Taking away the booze is an improvement onwards. No doubt about it. Taking away the booze will move you in an 'I am enough' direction. Taking away the booze will help heal the part of you that perhaps doubts that you are enough.
Because, put bluntly, we are all enough - just the way we are. We are perfectly imperfect. We are joyously messy. We are complicated and naunced. And all of that is ok. All of that is enough. You are enough. I am enough. We are enough.
Very good post that grabs me
You’ve nailed it again @mrs-d. Not feeling “enough’ is definitely a common thread for us boozers- I never felt “enough” for decades! Ditching the booze and making myself breathe again has made me realise this life is all “enough” and so am I!
I really resonate with this post @mrs-d
I am a great fan of Brene Brown’s work and have been reading her books/watching her TED talks (repeatedly) these past 8 months and in a way, I feel like she has been a companion on my journey. Today I am proud to share I have been sober for 383 days…I feel giddy when I feel the joy that brings me.
The realization that I am enough has been liberating and now empowers me to start working on my shame resilience 💛
I have always carried this question, thank you for verbalizing it so well. Living a life that isn’t fraught with numbing emotions or taking substances that reduce our clarity and confidence. Thanks for this.
Thankyou, I love this post.
It is so accurate.
I do think it’s a common denominator in all addictions.
I remember many years ago – I had a boyfriend & I could not socialize with a couple he was friendly with, without taking some form of barbituate.
I didn’t feel I was enough to be able to converse with them.
I’m definitely in this category. I’ve always thought I don’t have the magic denominator even though I have no idea what that is, and therefore I’m not enough. It’s like a gaping chasm. And I think you are right, it could well be the commonality for all drinkers. I love “any improvement onwards” helps.