• Mrs D posted a new activity comment 3 minutes ago

    hi @redredred no I never did the bootcamp but apparently it’s great 😊

  • Good morning tribe! Lovely day to be sober today methinks. I for one certainly won’t be touching any shit booze today 😊 I just wanted to repeat my call from last night that I’m looking for a few members who are regular on here, (checking in at least a couple of times a week) who might be interested in becoming Community Moderators. It’s a voluntary role and basically you just let me know if you see anything that might need my attention (by notifiying me in the feed @mrs-d or sending me an email). Doesn’t happen often but it’s nice to know that I’ve got members keeping an eye out for me should I be needed for anything. If you’re keen send me an email at admin@livingsober.org.nz The Moderators are listed on our Community Guidelines page here https://livingsober.org.nz/members/community-guidelines/ Thanks all! x

  • So many brave and amazing people grinding through the tough early days.. it’s very inspiring to read about your grit and determination, and it reminds me how much effort is required in the early days. Make the effort, it’s worth it! And it does get easier, I promise. I know it’s sometimes hard to believe that.. but just keep peservering, don’t let your rough emotions trip you up, don’t listen to the voice inside your head telling you to drink (that’s your addictive voice and it will fade away the longer you go not touching the stuff), just forge ahead, go to bed at 5pm if you need to, treat yourself to lovely indulgent things (not alcohol) that send you little messages that you’re worth treating, breath deeply, check in here often, grind through the days.. and slowly they add up. Days become weeks become months and before you know it you notice that you’re not thinking about alcohol so much any more, your emotions are calming down, you’re feeling better physically and you start to see that life without alcohol is actually possible and rather lovely!! Trust me on this.. and trust those others on here who are further down the track. We know what we’re talking about because we’ve been there done that, and we are with you 100%. Speaking of long-timers. I’m looking for a few longer-term members who are regular on here, (checking in at least a couple of times a week) who might be interested in becoming Community Moderators. It’s a voluntary role and basically you just check on the feed every now and then and alert me if you see anything that might need my attention. Doesn’t happen often but it’s nice to know that I’ve got members keeping an eye out for me should I be needed for anything. If you’re keen send me an email at admin@livingsober.org.nz The Moderators are listed on our Community Guidelines page here https://livingsober.org.nz/members/community-guidelines/ Thanks all! x

    • Thank you for the pearls of wisdom and acknowledging that the early days are a grind. I’ve sometimes heard from others that as soon as they stopped the sky opened, angels sang, and rainbows appeared. Ugh. Not so much with me but each day is a tad better than the previous one. Again, thank you.

    • Just 23 days in so your words of encouragement are very welcome!

    • Thanks for your words of encouragement. I joined this site almost 2 years ago after years of desperately trying to quit drinking. And by drinking I mean binge drinking, heavy drinking, all the worst drinking you can think of. About 6 months later it finally clicked for me and I haven’t had a glass of poison since 12/17. I think it’s definitely more than coincide that for the 1st time in my life I was finally able to quit for good. All my stars aligned and God answered my prayers. I echo that it eventually does get easier. Obviously I still have bad days but my 1st thought is no longer “I NEED a drink”. In fact, that thought doesn’t ever come into my mind anymore bc I’m able to fast forward that thought to reality. Thank you Mrs. D for your guidance, insight and courage. I am so thankful that life now without alcohol is sooooo much better, freer and healthier.

  • Mrs D posted an update 2 days, 7 hours ago

    Good morning tribe, got a bit of a head cold unfortunately but am heading out this morning with our middle boy (he’s nearly 13) to take a look around his high school for next year – exciting for him! Then I’ll be coming home to transcribe and format interviews for my new book. No complaints here .. life is happening, some good stuff, some tricky, but I am sober and have my feet firmly planted on the ground and for that I am eternally grateful. Huge thanks to the me of 7+ years ago who made the tough decision to quit drinking.
    Also, wondering if there are any members on here from Wellington, Porirua, Kāpiti, Hutt Valley or the Wairarapa who might be willing to do a short anonymous survey for the local DHBs? They’re wanting to hear from people with a lived experience of alcohol and other issues because they’re looking at the services they currently offer and how they might be improved/developed. If you’ve never accessed any services you can still do it, because you might have feedback that lets them know why you didn’t, or ideas of what would have been better if it was offered for you. It is also a really good way for us to get the message through about how powerful and helpful our site is 😜 They say “The survey is completely anonymous, and will help us understand barriers to accessing help, what things make the biggest difference, how we can improve your experiences, and what your ideal alcohol and other drug service would look like. The link is here and it should only take 5 mins https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/AODLEAG
    Right my 9 year old has just arrived in the kitchen and is requesting porridge. On with the day. A great day to be sober for sure!! x

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 3 days, 3 hours ago

    wow huge congrats!! so lovely to hear from you x

    • Hey Lotta. Its been a while. I still pop on here for a catch up every now and again. Sometimes just to lurk or check my number. I still love the number 🙂
      Ivd been in my house for three years now. Do you remember when I bought it? So much has changed. I’m starting a degree next year. Still moving forward. I’ll forever be grateful for the day I saw you kn morning TV talking about your website and about living sober. That interview changed everything for me. I’ll always be grateful to you for speaking out and for setting up this fabulous place.
      Thank you. 🙂❤

  • Mrs D posted an update 3 days, 22 hours ago

    Hi guys, my talk went well this morning. It was a lovely crowd of women, and quite a few teenage girls as well so it’s good for them to hear a bit about alcohol and what it can do to a life (mine). Lots of lovely chats afterwards, and a few people who were sober came up to say hi! One is about to celebrate 8 years and she’s agreed to share her sober story with us, so watch this space! I was given a lovely scented candle as a thank you gift for speaking so will be lighting that soon. Happy to have it finished, I don’t get nervous before I speak but there’s always a bit of an ‘edge’ that there’s something to be done, so I’m feeling happy and relaxed tonight. Slippers on.. nice cup of chai tea by my side. Sober life is grand! Wouldn’t want to go back to my boozy ways AT ALL. Hope you’re all doing ok out there in Living Sober land. Thanks everyone for being here. Without you, the members of this community, we would be an empty shell with no warmth, empathy and kindness. And that would be a bad thing indeed. x

    • i hope the young ones took on the message, to at least think twice when they drink. Nice that they were there. It would be amazing to get you into High schools, image the future, strong girls because if you and Sophie Elliot’s mum ( I hear she does a lot of work in secondary schools)

    • I’m glad you’re out in our community speaking about your experiences, and especially to teen girls ❤️ Enjoy your night, sending thanks back to you for creating and continuing to support this safe space full of warmth, empathy & encouragement 🙏🏾

    • I bet you have made a really big impact, and one that will resonate for a long time, and probably spread to their friends too. so good XXXXX

    • what a great place of honor you hold, @mrs d – spreading the word that alcohol does not need to have a place in anyone’s life. I am glad it went well. I am constantly amazed by the amounts some of my teen clients are putting away and then laughing about it. Never knew what a handle was until one of my teenage clients told me she drank one and ended up in the hospital.

    • Your talk may very well have saved a young woman from going through the hell we’ve all experienced and changed the course of her future. Now that’s a REAL rockstar!!

    • Well done Mrs. D.

    • You are making a big difference in the world….fantastic!

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 3 days, 22 hours ago

    great name! x

    • Ha ha thank you! Listening to your first audio book for the second time now it’s my favourite one of all.
      Greetings from Dublin, Ireland from another Mrs D with three boys x

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 3 days, 22 hours ago

    hey that’s so great! go you! x

  • Mrs D posted an update 4 days, 18 hours ago

    Most of the time now I live without touching sugar.. and then occasionally I just smash an entire bag of fudge. Tonight is one of those nights! Ah well.. can’t be perfect all of the time 😜 Currently sitting on a beanbag with a mug of chamomile tea watching the rugby with my father-in-law and Mr D. Well, truth be told I’m not really watching the rugby. I am on my laptop, asking them to turn over to Graham Norton at half time. Such is my Friday night. No alcohol required AT ALL. Ahhhh the sweet sensation of no cravings, no blurry brain, no thick tongue, no slurry words, no hangover tomorrow. Yes! Tomorrow I actually have to go out early because I’m speaking at a ‘Women Supporting Women’ event. Nice opportunity to spread the good word about sobriety and recovery, and this site of course! All the attendees will be getting a wallet card with info about our site in their goodie bag, so who knows.. maybe we’ll get some lovely new members tomorrow sneaking in to take a look around our site. I’m always confident that newbies will come in and receive nothing but kindness and understanding because that’s how we roll. After 4 1/2 years of existence we have maintained the same powerful ethos on this site.. simply kind, non-judgemental support. What a gift our community is.. thank you everyone for being here x

    • Enjoy Mrs D,xx.

    • And thank you to you for believing it was all possible.
      Look at us go. xo
      (Now I want fudge!)

    • Living sober is a blessing! Day 315 with your support and kindness. Thank you all🌞🎉🌟🕯

    • Thank you for being here and doing all you do; you really are a godsend, @Mrs D – keep spreading the good word, AF is the way of the future!! I just went through the most powerful throbbing sugar withdrawal headache two days ago (and for two days) as I cut the stuff out cold turkey (at least for now), wow, that is some heavy duty stuff that sugar withdrawal. be well.

    • @Mrs D You give new meaning to the whole concept of “women supporting women” (no offense you guys out there) Can’t thank you enough for what you do and giving life to this community. I’m in the US – getting and sharing support and advice from people like me all over the world. Talk about making an impact! Day 117 for me and sending blessings and thanks. You rock – with or without the sugar.

    • Ah, what a nice thing to say. Thank you for creating Such a great place for us to hang out💛

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 4 days, 18 hours ago

    Hi @freedom1025 and @jmtn I will hook the two of you up by email now x

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 6 days, 7 hours ago

    that’s a powerful move! The power of ‘no’. Sometimes it’s hard (I get asked for sleepovers all. the. time.) x

    • Lol YES!!! (To say NO to those draining crazy 24/7 on call feeling of sleepovers….time for we moms to say YES to our self care😀

      • I know at lowadown, I shocked myself as a people pleasing person… not anymore though lol… couldn’t handle a screaming, over excited teenager here… I would be stressed to death… it’s about me now and putting my sobriety first. xx

    • Thank you Mrs D.. I’ve already finished you 1st book in 2 days lol.. my best sober tool so far,, in fact it was the book my son left out last week when I had blacked out and I woke up to it!! Then he had removed all of the alcohol out of the house.. I have an amazing son…xxx

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    yep me too.. I think exactly that! x

  • Mrs D posted an update 1 week ago

    Hi tribe, lovely day here. I’m bloody tired because when Mr D’s alarm went off at 3.45am (he’s a shift worker) I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep 😩 so it’s going to be a long day. However! To look on the bright side I am going out to lunch with friends later which I’m really looking forward to. I just have to get a bunch of stuff done before then.. so am working hard! I’ve just published a new Sober Story from the fabulous Helana, a brave lady I met when I gave a talk recently. She stood up at the end of my talk and ‘outed’ herself to her colleagues as being 4+ years sober! She was shaking but really proud to have done it. So great. Naturally I then had to ask her if she’d share her story with us here and lucky for us she said yes. Check it out https://livingsober.org.nz/sober-story-helana/
    Also, wondering if there are any members on here from Wellington, Porirua, Kāpiti, Hutt Valley or the Wairarapa who might be willing to do a short anonymous survey for the local DHBs? They’re wanting to hear from people with a lived experience of alcohol and other issues because they’re looking at the services they currently offer and how they might be improved/developed. If you’ve never accessed any services you can still do it, because you might have feedback that lets them know why you didn’t, or ideas of what would have been better if it was offered for you. It is also a really good way for us to get the message through about how powerful and helpful our site is 😜 They say “The survey is completely anonymous, and will help us understand barriers to accessing help, what things make the biggest difference, how we can improve your experiences, and what your ideal alcohol and other drug service would look like. The link is here and it should only take 5 mins https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/AODLEAG
    Today is a great day to be sober! Day 2843 for me, that is a ridiculously large and fabulous number of days. Not all of those days have been fabulous of course.. some…[Read more]

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    yep I remember getting pimples.. and being tired and headachy.. your body is detoxing.. it’s fabulous! but also hard work, these early weeks. Like the others have said, keep going..! You’ll be SO THANKFUL to yourself in the months and years ahead for doing this hard work now. I am in awe of the me who went through the early stages of quitting 7 and a half years ago. She was a legend! And so are you x

    • Thank you all so much. It is humbling to begin to realize how much abuse I have put my body through and how it is struggling to recover and repair right now. I appreciate your encouragement more than I can say. (Another recent symptom: weepiness! But the good kind.) Thank you, thank you.

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    you’re on your way!! Love the tips from @melnz .. you’ve got this! x

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    oh get you gal trippin around Europe all sober and fabulous, love it! x

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    hey congrats!! Now you’re at 3 years you’re keen to do a Sober Story, keen?! x

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    sorry to hear that xx

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    so great you are here x

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    I feel the same @tipsytoegal, it’s such a good exercise in patience.. but really it stresses me out.. I hate tech angst! A big part of the problem is I just don’t understand how any of it works.. but luckily we have a very engaged techie. x

  • Mrs D posted an update 1 week, 5 days ago

    Aaahhh the sweet sound of no-body having trouble with the site! Huge thanks to our resident techie Dan for working hard yesterday and figuring out why so many of you were experiencing problems. I suppose we should be prepared for glitches to occur again.. and be extremely grateful for when things are running smoothly. All good life lessons really! I have a dog sleeping on my feet as I do some work on the laptop, sitting in the sun. Just ate a massive plate of coleslaw with halloumi on top. Heading into Friday night with not one single thought of booze, should I drink it, what should I drink, how much.. etc etc. Love that I got that shit out of my life. I have just published two new blog posts which are featured on the home page or you can read them on the Mrs D’s Blog page and the Drink of the Week page. One is a fab guest post from @behind-the-sofa which he wrote here in the Members Feed a week or two ago, with his permission I have featured it as it really is a powerful read. And the other is a lovely Irish mocktail that I got out of this cute vintage mocktail book (well, published in ’86.. is that ‘vintage’ enough?!) .. it has lemon juice and PARSLEY in it! And it’s really nice, I just guzzled the entire glass that I made to take the photo. So check them out if you are interested. Today is a fabulous day to be sober x

    • Vintage is considered anything prior to 2000. At least of you follow pinterest. 1986 is practically an antique, lol. Sounds lovely. Going to make that tomorrow, for my Friday night treat:).

    • One of the beautiful gifts of sobriety is PATIENCE! I had about 2-3 days of issues with the site but I knew it would come back eventually and I just commiserated with you all in my quiet meditation time instead. Thank you for the practice in patience! 🙂 🙂 You do a wonderful job keeping us all connected here mrs-d and Dan!!

      • I feel the same @tipsytoegal, it’s such a good exercise in patience.. but really it stresses me out.. I hate tech angst! A big part of the problem is I just don’t understand how any of it works.. but luckily we have a very engaged techie. x

    • Thank you for everything you do for us to have this safe and wonderful space to come to @mrs_D – this community is such a blessing xoxo

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    I’m doing Belle’s podcast again soon @lars x

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    yeah!!! So great! Good on you! x

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    aaarrrggghhh @song-bird our techie @danthedev is working on this problem, it seems like only some members are experiencing it (I’m not – the ‘read more’ is working as it should for me), but having said that it seems to be many of you who are struggling with it. He has put an entry into our ‘Site Support’ page for this and it would be great if you could go in there and enter some details about the device and browser you are using, as the more information he has the better to try and unpick what is happening. The site support page is on the drop down menu at the top where your profile pic is, or you can follow this link here https://livingsober.org.nz/site-support/read-more-button-not-working-as-expected/

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    hero!! x

  • Mrs D posted an update 1 week, 6 days ago

    Very wet and misty here this morning.. cold and dark. I was out late last night interviewing an amazing woman for my new book, some of the stories I am hearing are so moving and powerful. I’m going to spend today transcribing, drinking mugs of tea, doing chores etc. Dog probably won’t get a walk in this weather but given he’s ruptured his second cruciate ligament that’s probably not a great idea anyway. Poor guy is heading for another surgery.. but at least he’s insured now so we don’t have to fork out $$$. I’m frustrated to hear so many of you are experiencing issues with the site.. buttons not doing what they should and slowness etc. I have no idea what is happening – not being technically minded myself – but will see what I can discover and report back ASAP. Bear with us and remember above all.. booze is shit and all the cool people are sober nowadays!! Day 2837 x

    • @mrs d 26 days for me and going pretty well. Am reading your first book at the moment and loving it. Loving this website also. I’m so very grateful to access this kind of support as I really don’t think I could be this strong without it. Thank you! By the way my husband has joined me with being AF even though he’s never thought he had an issue with booze until the other day when he said maybe he does. That was a WOW moment for me! Very grateful x

    • Hi @mrs d.. so glad you are writing another book.. I did ask you sometime last year if you were going to… your books are my one of my sober tools… so thank you..after another relapse I’m back again..xx

  • Mrs D posted an update 2 weeks ago

    Hi guys, am hearing from quite a few of you that you are having some trouble on here today.. we are looking into it. Will report back asap! @winner @k1w1 @getclear @tipsytoegal

    • I think this has been resolved 🙂

      • I’m
        Nope still have no post button on iPad did notice that up top on the address bar it says unsecure in red. Have a post button on my iPhone but when I went to comment on @tipsytoegal for some reason on my iPhone it went to her profile page rather than staying in members feed area.

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 2 weeks ago

    Oh curious! I wonder. Other people’s lives are always so fascinating…. 😊

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 2 weeks ago

    sometimes we forget.. especially as time goes on… but every day that I don’t drink and face my emotions head on, I’m a hero. x

    • Yes @mrsD–Im feeling a hero today copeing with my relationship breakup sober! Never done that before! Hero I am. Thanks for that.

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 2 weeks ago

    Woooo Hoooooo! That is a mighty fine number! x

  • Mrs D posted an update 2 weeks, 2 days ago

    Heading into a new week with a bit of a sluggish feel, have a yoga class this morning which one side of my brain is trying to talk me out of, but the other side – the wise side – is going to win, knowing that I’ll feel much better for the entire week knowing I went (and it’s always lovely). Visited my friend in hospital yesterday, she has a bad pain condition, and it was lovely to see her and a good reminder walking through the halls that being grateful for my health and that of my families is a good thing to feel … while we are all well and healthy! Am sure sickness and other nasties will come our way, because that’s how life goes, so it’s good to appreciate the healthy times while we have them. Hope you’re all doing ok out there in Living Sober land! Thank you everyone for being here and bringing your bravery and truth. Without our lovely members we would be nothing but a hollow shell of a website.. but the warmth and togetherness that is experienced here is truly magical and thank you all for contributing towards that. Sobriety is gold! Hard bloody work at first but so, so rewarding. Together we are stronger x

    • I feel weird and sluggish after doing a weights class. I think it really does something … major? in the body, as does yoga, but I am more used to that. A couple a week make my whole experience of life more positive and calm. Not sure about the weights though 🙁 I really don’t like the way they do it and the loud music. Pity it is supposed to be the best thing as we age 🙁 🙁
      Happy yoga, happy week XXXX

      • @morgan Did you do a pump/ weights class? They are loud, the other way is pay for one trainer session and get the trainer to give you a basic program and show you how to do them correctly. When bored or weights have gone up significantly make another appointment. I love weights, my sister hates them, she’s a walker which I find boring. Ps music isn’t normally as loud in the weights rooms, in classes I have seen People use Ear plugs

    • Ain’t that the truth sober life is best life, and the wise voice is gold

    • oxoxxoxoxxxo Go you for making it to yoga!!!

    • Thank you Mrs D, and loved the Listener today. Good positive advice and facts.

    • the colder weather definitely doesn’t help in the motivation to get out for exercise! but like you, I’m always so glad I do. xx

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 2 days ago

    oh is it already out? I’ll have to get a copy tomorrow to read what they wrote about me! x

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 4 days ago

    such bad luck with those flights!! Love Rome.. so grand x

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 5 days ago

    I loved getting my tattoo and I love the tattoo every day now that I look at it! Very empowering x

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 5 days ago

    Oh good luck! Hope it’s lovely and the group has a good vibe. x

    • Thank you. It’s quite close to my old work, which makes me a little bit nervous, but hey, what’s the worst that can happen? 🙂

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 3 weeks ago

    never gets old!! Love it, I never wake up wishing I had been drinking the night before x

  • Mrs D posted an update 3 weeks ago

    Good morning team.. I just want to repeat an update that I posted yesterday about a new feature that we are trialling. It is a ‘Following’ feature which should help to ensure you don’t miss updates from members you are particularly connected with. With this function, if you have another member that you have connected with directly or feel a kinship with (because you’re on a similar day count for example, or have a similar situation going on in real life), you can click on their name to go through to their profile page and then click on ‘Follow’. Once you have done that, if you come back to the main feed you’ll see under the comment box at the top you now have a filter that says ‘Following’ (next to ‘All Members’, ‘My Favourites’ & ‘Mentions’. Note: this won’t show up until you have followed your first person). Once you have followed someone and come back to the Members Feed, if you click on ‘Following’ you’ll see a filtered version of the feed with only those members you have followed updates in it. So ‘voila’ you can make sure you haven’t missed an update from them! You can then comment/reply within that filtered feed.. but all interactions are still visible in the main feed. That way we are not splintering our community off into groups at all, or creating side rooms or private chats.. it’s just to enable members to make sure they don’t miss out on updates from other members they’re particulary keen on. This is an entirely PRIVATE exercise – we have turned off notifications – so members won’t know that you’ve followed them and nor will anyone else, and you won’t know if anyone has followed you. This is to ensure we don’t turn out like other social media platforms where it can become a popularity contest and create emotional unease (we don’t want anyone feeling any pressure or vulnerability). Some members commented yesterday that they are still receiving notifications. We think this is because the feature was up for 24 hours before we turned off notificati…[Read more]

    • What a helpful feature, @MrsD. Sometimes it’s hard to keep track of who’s who in the zoo, especially with all our different handles. The new feature enhances the ‘connection’ aspect even further. Thank you so much for continual commitment to LS. What a labour of love. We’re blessed, really. xo

    • “This is an entirely PRIVATE exercise – we have turned off notifications – so members won’t know that you’ve followed them and nor will anyone else, and you won’t know if anyone has followed you”

      i think that is very sensible and wise, thank you.

    • Lol i dont get how to work it, brain dead and dunce lol.

  • Mrs D posted an update 3 weeks, 1 day ago

    Hi gang – ok we are trying out a new feature and we want your feedback! Some members have expressed concern that they’re missing updates from other members that they’ve connected with in the past… if they’ve been off-line for a few days or when the Members Feed is particularly busy. So we are trialling a new ‘Follow’ function. With this function, if you have another member that you have connected with directly or feel a kinship with (because you’re on a similar day count for example, or have a similar situation going on in real life), you can click on their name to go through to their profile page and then click on ‘Follow’. This is an entirely PRIVATE exercise, they won’t know you’ve followed them and nor will anyone else. But once you have done that, if you come back to the main feed you’ll see under the comment box at the top you now have a filter that says ‘Following’ (next to ‘All Members’, ‘My Favourites’ & ‘Mentions’. Note: this won’t show up until you have followed your first person). Once you have followed someone and come back to the Members Feed, if you click on ‘Following’ you’ll see a filtered version of the feed with only those members you have followed updates in it. So ‘voila’ you can make sure you haven’t missed an update from them! You can then comment/reply within that filtered feed.. but all interactions are still visible in the main feed. That way we are not splintering our community off into groups at all, or creating side rooms or private chats.. it’s just to enable members to make sure they don’t miss out on updates from other members they’re particulary keen on. The main thing is it’s all private so there’s no danger of it becoming a popularity contest or making you feel any pressure or vulnerability. You just keep updating and posting knowing that it’s visible to all in our lovely community. So.. what do you think? Please give feedback and let us know. Try it out and see if it works ok for you. One question I particularly wanted…[Read more]

    • thanks for everything you do @mrs-d 🙏🏼

      • Thanks to both of you for all you do. This sounds like a great idea. I reckon you should call it Favourites.

        • haha oh no anything but favourites – favourites already exists in the system. Its the star just under a persons image (I need to move it and make it bigger). Unfortunately it will be to much work to repurpose the word through the codebase. Soz!

    • Sounds fab @mrs-d will make such a difference for catch ups with the overseas crew. ❤️❤️

    • That worked well for me, thanks @Mrs D!

    • I’m happy with the word following, don’t know about others!

    • Hahaha @Danthedev Yeah I realised that straight after I’d written it….duh! but then the phone rang and I’ve been unable to get back here till now. Following is a word people can relate to I guess because of instagram. Short List is too, so I don’t have a preference.

    • Ok I need to legitimately test that I have disabled youtube embeds. So heres a video encapsulating the developer experience #DevOnBrand https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Nua3Cjdik0

      • Another dev side note: I have increased the number of posts per page to 50. This should result in far fewer needs to click the dreaded “load more button”.

    • I like it and it works fine.

      • Tewy replied 3 weeks ago

        I think ‘following’ makes sense …..to me anyway !! Great idea

    • glad it is not a popularity contest, i hate popularity contests. Either following or short list is fine with me. thank you both for your continued work, @mrs d and @danthedev

    • @mrs-d & @danthedev just wanted u to know i recieved notifications of ppl following me. So it doesn’t seem to be private on that end. (Unless it was a kink that got worked out). It showed up as a blue notification on the bell. (Not complaining! Just want u guys to know). I am SO GLAD u did not change the site to a popularity contest with followers, friends and likes. And im happy u didnt seperate us with private groups and such. I think “following” is a great feature. I’ve heard many members saying they missed posts from ppl so i think that is the perfect solution without turning us into the typical social media site. I think that’s part of what makes this place so special. It’s not like the other sites. This place is almost “old school” and i LOVE it! So thank u both so much for all u do!🌸

      • Yes like Jesss your notification shows that someone is following and when you click it you can see who it is. Do you just mean others can’t see how many followers you have? So the followers are private to you and that takes the popularity contest out of it. Funny question but once you follow can you unfollow too…. just in case you want to follow someone about a thing and then not carry on?

        • Just answered my own question about unfollow as it comes up once you follow, so ignore that.

    • just as a note, we ARE notified when someone else follows us. It shows up on my profile page who is following me. I’m tooooootally fine with this though! 🙂

      • @jesss @rise2015 Hmm notifications you should be turned off as of yesterday late afternoon. They were on up until then so you may have left over notifications from earlier. I just followed you – did you get a notification?

        @tipsytoegal you may be viewing a cached version of the site. I just went and looked at your and my profile and can’t see anything. You can check this by clearing your browser cache, regardless I’ll keep an eye on this ?

        • @danthedev i did not get a notification u followed me. I also did not get a notification u put @ in front of my name😱. I got rise2015 notification before though…

    • Love it!!! Thanks for setting that up!!!
      oxoxox
      I do worry about missing out on updates from people I have connected with over time.

      • @jesss 🤦‍♀️ Oh no I totally gas lit you! I originally wrote (@)Jess with two ss not three and then went and edited it after. Which obviously doesn’t resend the notification. Soz 🙏
        But on the upside that’s validation follow notifications are not firing 😁

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 3 days ago

    wooppee!!!!! (not sure that’s how you spell that?!).. CONGRATULATIONS!! one year – brilliant x

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 3 days ago

    woo hoo congrats on one year!! That’s epic! x

  • Mrs D posted an update 3 weeks, 3 days ago

    Hey gang, 10.30am and I’m still in bed! Drinking tea and watching tele. Lush hangover-free Sunday morning. About to get up and do some work transcribing interviews.. but will also make some fancy meatballs for tea and potter around doing washing and stuff. Love that my Sundays are no longer about guilt and feeling shit. I’ve just shared on FB and Twitter the link to a podcast I was interviewed for. BBC presenter Janey Lee Grace has quit drinking and now does all this fabulous sobreity work including this podcast – here’s the link to it on Apple if anyone is interested (it’s free) https://podcasts.apple.com/nz/podcast/23-with-lotta-dann-author-of-mrs-d-is-going-without/id1448715889?i=1000440241805 We talk about my drinking and recovery story but also the ‘wine mum’ culture and learning how to deal with emotions etc x

    • Ohh bliss! You enjoy that tea and morning tele. Hmm…hangover free Sunday mornings…..I pray I never ever forget what I left behind….and I shall be extra grateful for waking up sober tomorrow myself.
      Thanks for being here in spite of a very full real life of your own! You continue to be such a positive influence on my life and sobriety.
      oxxoxoxo

    • Best way to spend a Sunday morning ❤️

    • Just listened to it as always a wonderful inspiration not only for when I need it but when I am feeling good ❤️

      • Oooo looks interesting but I’ve clicked on the link from Facebook and also the link above but it keeps saying tempoararily unavailable……@sheaney5 somehow you listened to it …..so I’m guessing it’s me?? Anyone else having problems with the link ?

    • Hi @Mrs-D! I like the idea of you taking the time to chill + lounge. Happy Sunday! x

    • Sounds like a great Sunday morning, I am soooo jealous – to have that freedom to lounge. Looking forward to reviewing the podcast. Thanks for the share and all you continue to do bring sobriety to the forefront of society, culture, etc.

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 4 days ago

    Take a sarong. It’s a towel, pillow, scarf, blanket, skirt, rug, sling all in one!

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 5 days ago

    whoa! That’s a lot! Would almond butter work for you? x

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 5 days ago

    Hey! Was that Sonya? I think we’re a week behind here, I watched last night and at the end saw her falling off a chair in the promo for the next episode. Interesting watching Luanne deal with not drinking as well.. knowing that in real life she’s recently fallen off the wagon. Booze always plays a big part in those Real Housewives shows.. which I’m always interested to see. Watching women getting boozed in a real sense on those shows sure is a great way to reinforce how happy I am for being sober! Great to hear you’re doing so well! x

    • sadly I purchased the series so get to see it via Amazon. We’re settled in Welly now which I am loving. Didn’t know Luanne fell off wagon in real life, guess what I’m googling now

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 5 days ago

    techie problems stress me out no end…!! (not ideal for someone managing a busy community website 😜) very lovely to see you in here.. look forward to hearing about your sober travels!! x

    • Yes @Mrs-D it was so bad. My web guys telling me my site needs to be uploaded to a new server because its being decommissioned on 20th June, at which time I will be away. And need things working seamlessly so I can operate from over there. I got so stressed I broke out in a rash and then my gmail stopped working. That turned out to be I’d run out of storage so phew…just bought more. In the end after 35 hours of worrying and trying to find new hosts and having complicated conversations, I made my current web guys promise to wait till I’m back in July before moving my website. Calm again now but was just awful for a day and a half, no sleep either. All good now though. And yes I’ll be checking in while I’m away to tell you of my adventures xx

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 5 days ago

    I reached for Tara Brach during the time of my mother-in-laws death & funeral etc.. she was so soothing and calming.. really good for tough times I find. x

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 5 days ago

    woo hoo! x

    • It’s been a journey Lotta. Thank you so much. I remember this site when we were just a couple of hundred members. Remember how excited we all were to hit the 1000?

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 5 days ago

    on their own plane??!! most kiwis don’t have those 😜

    • I was certainly surprised! I thought they were in town for the birding tour. I’ve known people with their own planes, but no one going on such a huge trip!

  • Mrs D posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 6 days ago

    fabulous post and how great to hear from you!! I agree with all you say 100%. Mwah back! x

  • Mrs D posted an update 3 weeks, 6 days ago

    Hi all, the site is running extremely slowly at the moment, which is frustrating. Our techie is onto this problem.. it happened as a result of us migrating the server from the US to Aust (or something ..?!) and he’s working on getting it fixed today. Bear with us! I’m finding it’s a good exercise in patience 😊 Also seems to be logging us out more than usual, which he’s also looking at. x

    • Just so glad to hear that it is not my ancient slow laptop and iPad 🙂 I wish it would log me out as sometimes I come back at the end of the day, still logged in, but then cannot reply to things or lose a response – doesn’t function properly at all …
      Happy day XXXXX

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