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We didn't know we were missing...

May 9th, 2021 Mrs D's Blog

puzzle with piece out of place

Someone wrote in the Members Feed recently; “this sober lark is just the best thing ever”. These sorts of statements are always fantastic to hear – especially for new members who are in the early days of giving up. It’s so beneficial when you are grinding your way through the hard early days to hear from longer-term members how good life can get when living alcohol-free becomes more the norm.

I absolutely love this sentiment. It sums up brilliantly the overarching feeling I have that only since I stopped drinking alcohol have I truly connected with myself, grown to understand my emotional landscape, properly settled into and appreciated my tiny place in the world, and properly opened my eyes to all the people around me.

And what is still so incredibly fascinating to me is that I had no clue I was missing these things until I discovered them.

How could I possibly know when I had deprived myself of a certain way of living – through my heavy, steady wine habit – all of my adult life.

I didn’t know what I was missing because I’d never experienced it. I’d never experienced any lengthy periods of time not bending my brain with booze. I drank alcohol regularly from the age of 15 to the age of 39.

I’d never dealt with any significant emotional event without turning to alcohol. I just drank all the time. And as a result I constantly interfered with my thinking and my brain chemistry.

Only after I took alcohol away and did a shitload of work to relearning how to live with no brain bending ever … and only after having ground my way through numerous difficult emotional situations without numbing, escaping or avoiding … did I realise what I was missing all along.

That sense of being truly alive. Of being a fully realised, grounded and robust human being. Of being me. Me in all my raw, sober glory.

So hang in there if you are in the tough early stages, and trust that there are wonderful discoveries around th corner. Chances are you’re currently missing things that you don’t even realise are gone

Eventually it all just falls into place and you too will look back and with gratitude.

Yes you will.

Love, Mrs D xxx

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