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Two Very Powerful Lists

September 1st, 2020 Guest Posts


notepad and pencil

One of our members (@kate1975) recently celebrated her two-year soberversary and shared with us a list she had written at the beginning of her journey about all the reasons why she was quitting. Then she typed a list of all the ways that her life is different now. And wow! What powerful lists they were. With her permission I am sharing them here and I would encourage you all to type a comment below with your own list(s). What are your reasons why you chose not drink? And if you’ve had some length of time as a sober person – how different is your life now?



Why I will not drink today:

  • My tongue gets wooley and I slur my words
  • I repeat myself, a lot – I get ranty
  • I talk too loud – I get ranty
  • I don’t listen to others – I get ranty
  • I argue more with my husband
  • I get ranty (recurring theme here, maybe I don’t like my ranty, drunk self?)
  • I dehydrate myself – even when I’m not drinking
  • I blackout quite often – it is scary
  • I wake up at 5am with severe anxiety, heart pounding – it takes days to go away
  • My brain isn’t as sharp, I feel foggy most days, I forget things – sometimes I can’t recognise people
  • I can’t achieve my mission of saving the planet when I can’t work
  • I get horrible hangovers and a lot of headaches the rest of the time
  • I worry constantly about the damage I am doing to my body, then I keep recycling that anxiety
  • I embarrass myself or my husband at events
  • I hurt myself and don’t remember how
  • I pick on people (including my friends) with sarcasm because I think it’s funny
  • I forget to meditate, mindfulness goes out the window
  • I end up crying and I don’t know why
  • I over-identify with the pain of others instead of sitting with them through their pain (see crying)
  • I don’t look after my guests – don’t make them cups of tea/coffee, don’t say goodbye or thank you
  • I model a negative behaviour for my children
  • My moods are unstable
  • I lose the meaning in the day – I just look forward to the drinking at the end and oblivion
  • Sometimes I drive over the limit
  • I stay home (don’t go out) so I can drink all day on weekends – I often start in the morning
  • I find it hard to go out for enjoyment with my family sober
  • I have less contact with my wider family and friends
  • I read less and learn less
  • I don’t listen to what my children are saying – I’m disengaged as a parent
  • I feel guilty about my poor parenting – I rely on the TV as a babysitter
  • I stay up too late ranting or talking shit and don’t get enough sleep – this affects the next day too
  • I make a real mess in the kitchen – I have to clean it up the next morning with a hangover
  • I burn myself when I cook
  • I wreck other people’s celebrations by being drunk (or totally absent because I have passed out)
  • I drink on my medication even though it says not to and is probably dangerous
  • I isolate from my children and husband
  • I fall over/lose balance when I dance
  • I am less compassionate

How is life now:

  • I’m reliable
  • I listen
  • I’m rarely in a foul mood or argumentative (only if I haven’t slept and then I send myself straight to bed)
  • My brain works wonderfully and I’m full of creativity and ideas
  • I remember everything
  • I feel real emotions and they don’t own me
  • I’m almost never anxious
  • My mood is stable
  • I’m kind and I reach out to others
  • I’m loving and open with my family
  • I enjoy myself when I go out
  • I celebrate with ease and grace
  • I’m fit and I look younger
  • I trust myself
  • I read and learn constantly
  • I’m curious about everything
  • I’m diligent and focused in my work
  • I relish almost every new day
  • I’m rarely ill and I don’t get headaches
  • I know when to slow down and take care of myself and others
  • I am resilient


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