Two Very Powerful Lists

One of our members (@kate1975) recently celebrated her two-year soberversary and shared with us a list she had written at the beginning of her journey about all the reasons why she was quitting. Then she typed a list of all the ways that her life is different now. And wow! What powerful lists they were. With her permission I am sharing them here and I would encourage you all to type a comment below with your own list(s). What are your reasons why you chose not drink? And if you’ve had some length of time as a sober person – how different is your life now?

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@kate1975

Why I will not drink today:

• My tongue gets wooley and I slur my words
• I repeat myself, a lot – I get ranty
• I talk too loud – I get ranty
• I don’t listen to others – I get ranty
• I argue more with my husband
• I get ranty (recurring theme here, maybe I don’t like my ranty, drunk self?)
• I dehydrate myself – even when I’m not drinking
• I blackout quite often – it is scary
• I wake up at 5am with severe anxiety, heart pounding – it takes days to go away
• My brain isn’t as sharp, I feel foggy most days, I forget things – sometimes I can’t recognise people
• I can’t achieve my mission of saving the planet when I can’t work
• I get horrible hangovers and a lot of headaches the rest of the time
• I worry constantly about the damage I am doing to my body, then I keep recycling that anxiety
• I embarrass myself or my husband at events
• I hurt myself and don’t remember how
• I pick on people (including my friends) with sarcasm because I think it’s funny
• I forget to meditate, mindfulness goes out the window
• I end up crying and I don’t know why
• I over-identify with the pain of others instead of sitting with them through their pain (see crying)
• I don’t look after my guests – don’t make them cups of tea/coffee, don’t say goodbye or thank you
• I model a negative behaviour for my children
• My moods are unstable
• I lose the meaning in the day – I just look forward to the drinking at the end and oblivion
• Sometimes I drive over the limit
• I stay home (don’t go out) so I can drink all day on weekends – I often start in the morning
• I find it hard to go out for enjoyment with my family sober
• I have less contact with my wider family and friends
• I read less and learn less
• I don’t listen to what my children are saying – I’m disengaged as a parent
• I feel guilty about my poor parenting – I rely on the TV as a babysitter
• I stay up too late ranting or talking shit and don’t get enough sleep – this affects the next day too
• I make a real mess in the kitchen – I have to clean it up the next morning with a hangover
• I burn myself when I cook
• I wreck other people’s celebrations by being drunk (or totally absent because I have passed out)
• I drink on my medication even though it says not to and is probably dangerous
• I isolate from my children and husband
• I fall over/lose balance when I dance
• I am less compassionate

How is life now:

• I’m reliable
• I listen
• I’m rarely in a foul mood or argumentative (only if I haven’t slept and then I send myself straight to bed)
• My brain works wonderfully and I’m full of creativity and ideas
• I remember everything
• I feel real emotions and they don’t own me
• I’m almost never anxious
• My mood is stable
• I’m kind and I reach out to others
• I’m loving and open with my family
• I enjoy myself when I go out
• I celebrate with ease and grace
• I’m fit and I look younger
• I trust myself
• I read and learn constantly
• I’m curious about everything
• I’m diligent and focused in my work
• I relish almost every new day
• I’m rarely ill and I don’t get headaches
• I know when to slow down and take care of myself and others
• I am resilient

@kate1975