Sober Story: Kim

This week’s Sober Story comes from Kim, a 41-year-old living in Robbinsville, NJ, USA.

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Mrs D: How long have you been in recovery?

Kim: I’ve been in recovery since November 23, 2013.

Mrs D: What can you tell us about the last months/years of your drinking before you gave up?

Kim: Absolute horror. It was a very dark place filled with anger, hate and self destructive behaviors. I experienced so much loss of self respect, self care and self esteem. I saw no way out.

Mrs D: I can relate. What was the final straw that led you to get sober?

Kim: My husband at the time was arrested for his third DUI after a domestic dispute we had at our home. I saw in that instant that my son’s life would never be healthy if we continued. Both his father and mother were extremely ill. It was just a matter of time before I would lose him. I could never live with that.

Mrs D: How was it for you in the early days? What was most difficult?

Kim: The most difficult thing was the emotional aspect. I was like an open wound and I was not emotionally equipped to handle any of my feelings. I was extremely angry and it showed in all of my personal relationships.

Mrs D: What reaction did you get from family & friends when you started getting sober?

Kim: Honesly, I’m sure they thought “yeah, sure Kim, you’ve said all of this before.” They didn’t believe it to be true.

Mrs D: You showed them! Have you ever relapsed?

Kim: Not this time around. I was in AA in my early twenties but I was never sold on sobriety so I guess it’s safe to say I have not experienced a relapse.

Mrs D: How hard was it getting used to socialising sober?

Kim: I suffered from crippling anxiety. I did not want to leave my home, going food shopping and to stores was extremely difficult and at times I just couldn’t do it. I would leave parking lots and go straight home. I was filled with fear of the unknown.

Mrs D: How long did it take for things to start to calm down for you emotionally & physically?

Kim: Almost three years.

Mrs D: Was there anything surprising that you learned about yourself when you stopped drinking?

Kim: Yes! That I am quite creative. I feel inspired. Something I’ve never felt before. I want to share my story and I have no fears in doing that.

Mrs D: And we appreciate you sharing! Can you summarise how your life has changed since you quit?

Kim: I’m at peace. That is all I’ve ever wanted. I am ok with myself.

Mrs D: Any main benefits that have emerged for you from getting sober?

Kim: My family life is fantastic. I show up to all family events, clear eyed and bushy tailed. I’m alot calmer with my son. I see things differently.

Mrs D: Would you do anything differently given the chance to go through the process again?

Kim: I would do nothing different.

Mrs D: What advice or tips would you have for those who are just starting on this journey?

Kim: Bear down and do it. You never have to feel like this again, ever, I promise you.

Mrs D: Anything else you’d like to share?

Kim: Do not be afraid to get help. Do not be ashamed of who you are. This is who you are, accept that first and you will be fearless.