Sober Story: Angela

This week’s Sober Story comes from Angela, a 54-year-old living in Dunedin.

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Mrs D: How long have you been in recovery?

Angela: It will be four years on August 8, 2024.

Mrs D: What can you tell us about the last months/years of your drinking before you gave up?

Angela: I stopped drinking finally in August of 2020. I was constantly thinking about drinking – was it too soon in the day, did I have enough wine at home etc. and Covid lockdowns had just brought it all to the fore.

Mrs D: What was the final straw that led you to get sober?

Angela: I had been flirting with sobriety having done Dry July in 2019 and 2020, and when I started drinking again in August 2020, I realised that it truly gave me nothing – it only took things away like my money, dignity, self control, mornings. I had one pint the Friday after work and sent a snappy message to my then boyfriend. I realised that even one compromised me too much and that was the last alcohol I tasted.

Mrs D: How was it for you in the early days? What was most difficult?

Angela: Honestly, all the hard work was done, as I had fully reframed drinking by the time I stopped, so I felt like I was freeing myself, not denying my desires.

Mrs D: What tool or tools did you use to help you?

Angela: I used the Alcohol Experiment by Annie Grace in the years leading up to it so I had dismantled most of my false beliefs about alcohol by the time I stopped.

Mrs D: What reaction did you get from family & friends when you started getting sober?

Angela: Two distinct camps – deep mistrust or delight. It has changed all of my relationships and the ones I still have are deeper and more authentic – not just going out on the piss together.

Mrs D: Have you ever experienced a relapse?

Angela: No.

Mrs D: How long did it take for things to start to calm down for you emotionally & physically?

Angela: I stopped after Dry July so I had got rid of my physical symptoms. Emotionally there were a good couple of months of sitting with my feelings.

Mrs D: How hard was it getting used to socialising sober?

Angela: This is hard, but mostly because I would see what a dick I must have been all these years. Now I leave around the time that the masses are getting incomprehensible and offer safe rides home.

Mrs D: Was there anything surprising that you learned about yourself when you stopped drinking?

Angela: That I had been using it as a crutch for my feelings all these years. I felt angry I had let alcohol rob me of so many memories of what should have been good times

Mrs D: How did your life change?

Angela: I feel free – not trapped in a cycle of when and what will I next drink

Mrs D: What are the main benefits that emerged for you from getting sober?

Angela: I am fully present for all of the people who I love and who love me. That’s the biggest gift anyone can dream of – and it’s my reality.

Mrs D: Would you do anything differently given the chance to go through the process again?

Angela: I just wish I had started much earlier, but I know I wasn’t ready.

Mrs D: What advice or tips would you have for those who are just starting on this journey?

Angela: Trust the process. Talk about your fears. Each day gets you closer to breaking free. You’ve got this!

Mrs D: Anything else you'd like to share?

Angela: Before I started this journey, I would run a mile rather than be around someone who didn’t drink – they frightened me as I knew I should examine my own drinking but lacked the courage. I even remember hearing about Lotta (Mrs D, who I didn’t even know!) who had stopped drinking and I remember thinking ‘how dreadful that must be’ – thank you for sewing the seed all those years ago. I am extremely grateful that you shared your story.