Every day is a choice

There is a lot of talk in sobriety/recovery circles about taking it one day at a time.

It's such a cliched statement that it has almost lost it's meaning. But it's still an incredibly powerful sentiment. 

For many people, thinking of 'forever' is overwhelming. At the start when we first quit drinking, looking at all of life ahead with no booze in it seems overwhelming and depressing.

How will I party with friends?

How will I celebrate my children's weddings?

How will I toast my next promotion or new job offer?

How will I deal with grief when my loved ones die?

How will I relax on Friday? 

Life can look like an endless succession of boring Fridays, dull events, and overwhelming emotional pain, when you're first getting sober. So the whole 'one day at a time' thing really works. All we have to think about is today. How will I get through today? What can I do today to look after myself that doesn't involve drinking. What action can I take? Who can I call? Do I need to take myself to the movies? Buy myself fresh flowers? Go for a drive to the coast and look at the ocean? Get into bed at 6pm? 

Sometimes when I am having a particularly tough day I literally ask myself out loud, "what do I need right now?" It forces me to think of answers, which can range from "I need to get in the bath", to "I need to take the dog for a walk and cry",  or "I need to send that awkward email, do my banking and then lie on the sofa with a bowl of chips", or the best one of all "I need to get into bed and call this day done."

Never is the answer "I need to drink alcohol." Thankfully that is not one of my go-to coping strategies any more. But it can take time getting to a place where alcohol doesn't present itself as the solution.  

So for now - go gently and take it  one day at a time. 

I love the image above, as it so evocatively illustrates that every day we have a choice. Are we choosing to sit on the struggle side of the bus, boozed and disconnected and stuck in a drinking rut? Or are we choosing to sit on the sunny side of the aisle, gazing out of the window, asking ourselves the question, "what do I need right now that will make this day shine brighter?"

I know which side of the bus I'd rather be on, and every day I make that choice.

Just for today. 

Love, Mrs D xx