You know that thing when you go away for the weekend and you want to make it ‘special’ so you get ‘special’ booze (i.e. more expensive and more of it), and then you drink all that special booze on the first night and it’s kinda fun but also a bit blurry and sloppy and you sleep like crap because – booze – and a different bed etc.
And then you wake up tired and bleak and flat but you try to make the day fun because you’re away and should be having a good time but you strangely aren’t and you don’t know why other than maybe another drink will help so you have one at lunch because you’re having a ‘special’ holiday and then you need to get more for the next night and you drink all of that and again it’s kinda fun but also just a bit sloppy and again you sleep like crap and again you wake up tired and hungover.
And now there’s irritability on top of the bleak, flat feeling because your mini break is over and you’re heading home feeling tired and unhealthy.
By the time it’s Monday you’re back at work trying to make out it was a great weekend break but actually you’re exhausted and feel gross and that inner voice is wondering if the alcohol is really serving you at all.
Yeah, that thing.
I don’t get that thing any more. The photo above is me having just arrived at our Airbnb on a weekend away. I’m drinking a mug of black chai tea because I love black chai tea, looking out over green rolling hills feeling grateful to be away from home.
My sleep was still a bit ‘meh’ because I was in a different bed and you know how that goes. But the board games I played with my family were fun (Trivial Pursuit!), the book I read tucked up in bed was great (We all want impossible things), the treaty food we’d purchased was delicious (fancy cheese!), watching the rugby on a laptop was exciting, the second-hand shopping we did on the way up was satisfying, and the fresh country air was hugely appreciated.
There was not one moment when I thought that alcohol could make anything better. Not one moment when I wished I was drinking wine. Not one moment when I felt there was something missing, a hole that alcohol could magically fill.
I promise, if you push thorugh those difficult early weeks and months of sobriety, when your brain is still trying to convince you that drinking alcohol is necessary for a full, fun life, you will eventually get to a place where you don’t miss that stuff at all. And a weekend away is just a lovely weekend away, without any need for a brain-bending liquid.
Mrs D xx
So relatable, I just had a weekend away exactly like this, and came home exhausted, deflated, disappointed. The idea of a relaxing weekend away disappeared after the first night of drinking too much wine, then the cycle began, lunchtime wine etc etc. The idea of a sober weekend away sounds truely lovely, time to try again…
Thank you for this, I’m currently one week sober and on holidays as i read this.
The cravings are nagging at me as wine always, always accompanies me on holidays. To hear that if I starve them they will eventually lose their power gives me hope, thank you.
One of the most powerful revelations I have experienced in being fortunate enough to be part of this community is that others just like me have lived a life of lies, deception, pretending…..I honestly thought I was the only one! I thought nobody else could be engaging in such ugly behaviour.
Reading this post about weekends away reminded me of the fact that there are so many common, recurring themes in our journeys. All our stories completely unique and yet bound together in countless ways.
Thank you Lotta for making this safe place a reality. I’m grateful, eternally.
Great recap of what it really feels like on most weekends away when you are drinking. Getting a lot of booze for a couple nights and its gone in one night … yup.
Thanks Mrs.-D.
Familiar feelings and past weekends away where alcohol was present and at times a focus. Timely post for myself. Almost five weeks alcohol free. still not sure where this is leading one day at a time. Living sober is a good place to be part of because others stories reflect back similarities or give you a gem to think and reflect on.
Thanks Lotta and Members
Such a timely post for me today! We are heading up to Camden, ME tomorrow for a long weekend. I just love a sober long weekend away. And yes I did sooo many of the other kind as you describe above. Thanks Lotta ❣