3 years sober!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday was lovely – my Three Years Sober celebration day! I felt very happy and proud of myself all day, and quietly grounded in my lovely new sober lifestyle which I appreciate so very much.

It was a pretty ordinary Saturday really, hanging out with my boys, a bit of cooking, a trip to a local school fair, some housework of course, out to a cafe for hot chips and celebration drinks in the afternoon, home to put onesies on at 4pm and watch the new Doctor Who, chicken noodle soup and toast for dinner, story books and cuddles at bedtime. Ordinary stuff.

Ordinary yet extraordinary.

I was hyper-aware all day of my glorious little gold nugget of truth that I have tucked away inside me. My glorious little gold nugget of truth about how I’ve turned my life around and beaten a booze addiction to the curb. That glorious little gold nugget of truth is mine and mine alone. It’s private.

I know this sounds unusual because I’ve chosen to be a visible person in recovery, so in many ways my truth is anything but private. For goodness sake I’m wide open to the entire world about my boozing story and recovery – I blab on about it constantly!

But despite this openness I hold that nugget of truth very close. It is private because it’s mine. No-one can touch that place inside of me, because it’s about my relationship with myself.

You know how I talked in my last post about feeling like a piece of shit when I was at the end of my boozing career? Well now I’m sober I don’t feel like a piece of shit. I feel proud of myself. I have healed my relationship with myself.

And that’s what getting sober was about for me – healing my relationship with myself. I got the booze out of my life and healed myself. Slowly but surely through hard work and practice I have restored my feelings of self-worth.

So many of you wonderful Living Sober members are right now grinding through the hard work to heal yourselves. It’s very inspiring and incredibly humbling to witness you all digging deep and going there. I’m standing on the sidelines with my pom-pons cheering  you all along. Go you good things!!

It takes time, and it is hard work – there’s no doubt about it. It’s hard bloody work facing up to ourselves and adjusting to life-in-the-raw. But slowly, little by little, we can learn how to do it and we can heal.

And we can all grow little gold nuggets of truth.. little private gold nuggets that we can hold close and look after. It’s a beautiful jewel to own, trust me.

Love, Mrs D xxx

40 Comments
  1. lookingup 5 years ago

    Congratulations Mrs D on three years sober! You are such an inspiration to me, in my new booze free life. Thank you so much.

  2. Busydora 5 years ago

    Mrs D.. I am so excited for u! Congratulations on three years!
    I just wanted to say that the reason I even started on this journey was I came across a random tweet that you were mentioned in… I googled u and now I am 30 days sober. I am grateful for that random tweet.. And u! And everyone here .. Hugs

  3. Nugget 5 years ago

    It is when we start listening to those little ‘Nuggets’ of truth that we start to change how we act. it took me a long time of trying to bury that nugget inside me that kept saying I have a drinking problem. There are aspects that I have revealed to others because as you say it is mine. But I have learned from here and a number of sources being honest & open is quite empowering.

    Thank You … 🙂

  4. thirstystill 5 years ago

    Huge congrats to you on 3 years, Mrs D! I have to say, I feel a world of gratitude to you. Your story was such a help to me when I started out thinking about quitting and trying to quit, and your encouragement to me along the way has been amazing. It’s great to hear someone say that yes, getting sober is hard, but being sober isn’t a big trial or chore or a curse that some people have to endure. It’s fantastic, and such a better way to live. Big hug to you! xo

  5. angie 5 years ago

    Congratulations on 3 years of sobriety Mrs D! You are such an inspiration and I admire you so much. I love how you describe healing the relationship you have with yourself. That is what I would dearly love to do. Thank you so much for sharing so much of yourself with us through your blog, your book and now Living Sober. You have helped me and so many others so much. A xxx

    • Author
      Mrs D 5 years ago

      @angie I hope you are feeling better today.. you have got a lot going on .. and you are getting sober which by the way makes you BRAVE AND AMAZING… so do treat yourself very gently and go slowly.. calmly.. you just need some time to pass and you will hopefully start to feel better.. am very happy you are staying in touch with others on the Members Feed.. aren’t they all so helpful and lovely…! xxxxx

  6. Persevering 5 years ago

    You really are wonderfully inspiring, you know. Just when I start to think I might hop off this wagon for a bit, you write something like that which inspires me to carry on. The way you put it, long term sobriety sounds so lovely and appealing and WORTH IT xx

    • Author
      Mrs D 5 years ago

      Hey @persevering .. was wondering how you were getting on.. you’ve gone awfully quiet…. hang in there .. don’t retreat completely especially if you are thinking of drinking again.. stay in touch and share about what’s going on.. I’m pretty sure it’ll help you get stuff out into words .. if you don’t want to share publicly write privately about what’s going on in your head… don’t get lost in there ! Big cyber hugs xxxx

  7. awomanwithoutwine 5 years ago

    Congratulations Mrs D, you are an inspiration to so many xx

  8. EnglishRose 5 years ago

    Brilliant Mrs D – many, many congratulations on your 3rd soberversary! An inspiration for us all as is this site and your book, which I’m in the middle of reading – fabulous!! xx

    • Author
      Mrs D 5 years ago

      Thanks @EnglishRose… I love love love your username and photo! xx

  9. sodapop 5 years ago

    Happy Sober Day!
    And that’s 21 in dog years…so you get the key to the door of life??!

    • Author
      Mrs D 5 years ago

      Ha ha.. maybe! I do feel @sodapop like the door of my life has finally started opening properly… and I’m so happy about that xx

  10. JoleneG 5 years ago

    Congratulations! (I’ve just today finished reading your book, and I’m 45 days sober.) Your anniversary is so fantastic, and I’m so happy for you but you know what? It makes me happy for me too. Because I read so much of my own story in yours, and I know through you and this website and my own resolve, that I can do it too. Yay!!

    • Author
      Mrs D 5 years ago

      Yes @JoleneG!! Of course you can do it too. And that’s exactly why I wanted to write the book like I did.. to show people what it’s like.. so many drinking memoirs are exactly that – drinking memoirs.. and not recovery memoirs. I wanted to write a recovery memoir that was just super ordinary and practical.. what’s it like when you start going to parties & events sober? What’s it like when you have to do your first sober Christmas? What happens to your body & your mind when you remove alcohol? AND of course the most important point about the book – WOW LOOK AT THE AMAZING SUPPORT YOU CAN FIND FROM LIKEMINDED PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET!!!!!!!!!!!!! xxxx

  11. Pinono 5 years ago

    Firstly Congratulations Mrs D, it’s a mighty achievement of epic proportions! 3 years! I am truly in awe.
    Secondly – I don’t know how you manage to fit us all into your life, I’m sure i speak for a lot of us and I am just so thankful that you do, your time, your words and your genuine caring – you are one special lady – so thank you. X

    • Author
      Mrs D 5 years ago

      Ha ha! Well actually @Pinono it’s not too difficult.. I pop on and off the computer during the day while I’m being a housewife & mother.. between 3-7pm it’s hard to do too much with all the post-school activities and interactions with my kids but I now have an iPad! And I keep it in my recipe book holder on the kitchen bench so I can watch the Members Feed while I cook dinner etc… it’s so lovely to see how everyone is getting on and it helps me in my recovery too don’t forget… xxx

  12. AlexP 5 years ago

    Congratulations, MrsD. Wow, 3years. Bloody fantastic. And thank you so really much for setting up Living Sober. It’s been pretty much a lifeline to me.
    And love the idea of a (private) golden nugget. It is a little gem inside that is starting to glow. Might get one for a pendant?

    • Author
      Mrs D 5 years ago

      ooohhh now you’re talking @AxelP.. a new piece of jewelry…..! I like how you think! xx

  13. Rosieoutlook 5 years ago

    Thank you Lotta for being such an inspiration! I feel after only 7 shorts weeks of making my mind up to get wine out of my life, a HUGE sense of relief, freedom, peace and I now feel in control. I can only imagine in three years time all these sensations and feelings will grow stronger and like you I will be chuffed on my anniversary to know in myself ‘I am living the dream’ after being tied down for so long to alcohol and the battle it creates in our minds. Thank you! Your a Darling for being so candid with your feelings. Xx

    • Author
      Mrs D 5 years ago

      Isn’t it amazing .. as scary as that big decision is ‘I’m not touching alcohol ever again’ it is also very calming.. that relief freedom and peace you talk of.. wow wow wow.. isn’t it grand.. one simple yet monumental decision (followed by a lot of hard brain re-training!) and we achieve peace. I was asked by a women’s magazine recently ‘what did you want to be when you grew up’ and I said ‘content’. Ahhh .. and now finally sobriety is giving me the contentment I desired. Booze was never going to do that. Thanks for your kind words @Rosieoutlook xxx

  14. QuietlyDone 5 years ago

    Wonderful, gold medal for you, and many humble thanks from a very grateful me.

    • Author
      Mrs D 5 years ago

      you are welcome @quietlydone .. have you gotten hold of the Tara Brach book yet? xxx

  15. jo14 5 years ago

    Congrats Mrs. D!!! I am so glad to have found your site & what an inspiration you have been along with everyone else here. Thank you for starting this support group & sharing your journey…it helps a newbie like me stay focused & positive…enjoy your wonderful milestone! Love & Hugs

  16. Lori K 5 years ago

    Happy 3 Years Mrs. D 🙂 you are an inspiration! Keep that gold nugget close to your heart–you deserve it and have worked very hard for it. Thank you for sharing your experiences with us all! xx

    • Author
      Mrs D 5 years ago

      You are more than welcome. If I could stand on the highest mountain and shout to all the world ‘RECOVERY IS AWESOME!!!!!!’ I would.. luckily the internet means I don’t have to strain my throat.! Great you are here @lori K

  17. Lucy 5 years ago

    Congrats Mrs D.. this sober life is fantastic, I’m just learning to cope with life without the wine.. used to need it like oxygen. slowly going into myself to heal. will take time I know.. well done you and thank you. xxxx

    • Author
      Mrs D 5 years ago

      “this sober life is fantastic” there’s gold in them there words @lucy xxxx

  18. hangoverfree 5 years ago

    Lotta you have this natural gift for expressing the kernel of the truth and this is it. Thank you for sharing and lighting the way for the rest of us. 2 weeks today it’ll be my one year sober birthday and I feel all of the things that you describe so eloquently 🙂 Big love xx

  19. Sylvie 5 years ago

    Congratulations Mrs D and thank you. Before I saw/heard/knew you, I knew what I was and what I had to do and I was doing it, but I was doing it alone. I was afraid all the hard work would melt away one day when I least expected it. Not afraid anymore. I have this site and this wonderful community to support me and where I can contribute. Thank you xx

    • Author
      Mrs D 5 years ago

      Yes @sylvie !!! And more than anything that is hopefully what this site is doing.. just showing people in a very public way that they are not alone!! There are so many lurkers on this site who are reading all of us interactors and thinking about their own situation.. and moving hopefully in a direction to join us in getting sober.. that feeling of not being alone is incredibly powerful … xxx

  20. Seizetheday 5 years ago

    It truly is so precious. It’s private and unique for each of us yet we all are striving for the same goal.
    Thank you lotta for being brave, and being vulnerable
    Enjoy your boys, enjoy being in the here and now with all of yourself. Xo

    • Author
      Mrs D 5 years ago

      That’s the funny thing about getting sober @seizetheday .. the sort of strange dichotomy/anomaly/contradiction in terms .. whatever you want to call it.. you have to do the work yourself but you can’t do it alone. So on the one hand it’s deeply personal and private, a solo mission.. and on the other hand it’s incredibly community oriented because we need each other – like minded people who know what it’s like to not be able to control alcohol. So great you are here xxx

  21. grannie 5 years ago

    Sorry about spelling going to stop using phone. Have a great night with your boys

    • Author
      Mrs D 5 years ago

      Very totally awesome that you are doing this @grannie! xxx

  22. freebreezi 5 years ago

    Congratulations on your soberversary and on being an inspiration and support just by being yourself and doing your journey to others. Enjoy your gold nugget in your private space, you’ve earned it and it’s special. Honouring ourselves with our self is a vital life skill.
    Thank you for being who you are that has lead to all of this. I value my time here and value what I read and the support I take from it.
    Life is a wonderful trip to take really.

    • Author
      Mrs D 5 years ago

      Hey @freebrezzi.. thanks for your kind words and I love that line – ‘Life is a wonderful trip to take really’.. I totally agree.. and that’s partly why I love being sober so much.. it’s like the ultimate challenge. Life in the raw – the ultimate challenge!! xxx

    • grannie 5 years ago

      Wow Iloveyour post. Have ypu a any idea how your hopeness has affected so many of us. I am so proud to be sober 5 days I can’t imagine how it is going to feel on the 7th of September 2017 when I can say the same. Hugs and kisses from Grannie you awesome gold nugget.

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