I can tell you that change is possible. I can tell you the story of how I turned my life around, quit booze and completely re-shaped my identity as a non-drinker. I can share countless stories from other brave sober warriors about how they got themselves out of the booze trap. We can all shout from the rooftops about how getting sober is achievable.
But it won't happen for you unless you believe it too.
YOU have to believe that change is possible.
YOU have to know you can get free.
YOU have to trust it'll be ok.
YOU have to form a mental image in your mind of the person you want to become - sober, calm, together, grounded, real, raw, recovered.
YOU have to have faith that you are going to become that person.
This belief that change is possible has to come from inside you. You are the only person who has the ability to change yourself, so you are the one who needs to really, truly believe that you can change things and get alcohol out of your life.
But I get how hard it is to believe this at first. I get how we are so conditioned to believe that life won't be fun if we never share drinks with friends. I get how we are terrified that being sober all the time will make us a boring loser with nothing to offer. I get how imagining a life with no booze in it is like looking down a dark tunnel.
I get it because I felt that indescribable fear myself. It was utterly terrifying. But thankfully in amongst that fear I had a tiny kernel of belief that I could change myself and I could live alcohol free and things would be ok.
And luckily I decided to nurture that kernel and grow my belief that change was possible, rather than let the fear dominate and hold me back.
BELIEVE that you can do this. KNOW that thousands of people throughout time have gone before you on this path, facing down their fears, growing their HOPE and belief in change, and eventually reaching a magical place free from addiction. TRUST it will happen for you too.
It will. Just dig deep and believe it will. Prepare yourself for a bumpy ride, because getting sober is hard bloody work at first. But if you keep nurturing and growing your believe that change is possible, and stiffling that fear that it can never happen, and slowly - eventually - things will lift up for you.
Believe it. It's true.
Love, Mrs D xxx
The fear for me became a self fulfilling prophecy. It is time to Believe. Fear is just a thought…and it’s not real. Thank you for you help, reminders, and guidance.
This belief that change is possible has to come from inside you. You are the only person who has the ability to change yourself, so you are the one who needs to really, truly believe that you can change things and get alcohol out of your life.
Thank you Mrs. D. for your great advice and insight. I will try so hard to repeat these words.
Thankyou Mrs. D. for you & your amazing writing/inspiration
I love the image of “a magical place free from addiction”.
I want to be there.
I keep re reading this post Mrs D, it is helping get through.. A big change in myself is going to be tough but I will get there. I will trust I can do this.. thank you x
Thank you so very much for your raw wonderful truths?14 days into my journey and utterly obsessed with beating this illness! I am currently reading your book (among others and attending AA) and feel like I am reading my own biography of how I got to where I got (just a little older as 47) & wished so very much that my beautiful girls (10 & 12) didn’t have to ask their mummy if she could not have that next glass of wine at the end of a busy day (after her first bottle). My absolute Rock bottom! I am so committed to changing for the best ..Now all I need is for my inner voice which has not stopped obsessing about what the future will look like to stop! I know this is going to be an incredibly bumpy ride and wish that I could fast forward 2 years .. but get that I need to go through this to get to the other side. One day at a time .
I’m just looking forward to my mind relaxing and being able to sleep. Much respect ?
Thank you Mrs. D. So happy I discovered your book – I loved it and have recommended it to my sober warriors on This Naked Mind Community. And so happy to get to be a part of this forum. Can’t wait to read your new book, just want to absorb what I learned and get some real sober time under my belt first. So much to learn. Thank you for being in my toolbox.
I needed this so much Mrs D. I have fallen back into the trap so many times my head spins. Last night I failed again! and I am terrified I will never be free.
I never ever imagined it would be this hard… alcohol has destroyed my self belief. Today Im reeling and seeing this post has given me the thought that I can be free and I will try again once more. Thank you with all my heart.
Thank you @mrs-d. I needed to be reminded of this ❤️
Thank you Mrs D! New to your site and listened to your podcast with Janey Lee today also. I have all the fears: I’m going to fail, Fear of missing Alcohol and the fear that if I do quit, my social anxiety will rear its ugly head and I’ll be worse off than I was drinking.
Hard to trust it will be worth it, but reading people’s sober stories tells me I gotta keep on, maybe I’m wrong. ?