February 12th, 2020 Interviews
Kailey: I have been in recovery for 4 years, thanks to the support from my family, friends, and higher power.
Mrs D: What can you tell us about the last months/years of your drinking before you gave up?
Kailey: During the last months of my drinking, I had become a totally different person. I had adjusted all of my morals in order to stay in denial about the fact that I had a drinking problem. I lied, stole money from family and friends, and completely gave up on all of my aspirations. I drank away all of my emotions and basically became the shell of a human being. I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror anymore.
Mrs D: What was the final straw that led you to get sober?
Kailey: I was in an abusive relationship and finally had enough of the alcohol-fueled fights. My abuser had threatened to kill me or himself if I left him. When he did that, I began to reflect on how I could have allowed the situation to become so toxic without leaving. I realised that my drinking had numbed my feelings and standards in regard to that relationship.
Mrs D: How was it for you in the early days? What was most difficult?
Kailey: For me, the early days were emotionally easier than the later stages of my recovery. My early recovery consisted of treatment, where I just had to take direction. However, the most difficult part was dealing with the withdrawals from alcohol and swallowing my pride during therapy. Luckily, I participated in medication-assisted treatment to help lessen my withdrawal symptoms in the beginning.
Mrs D: What reaction did you get from family & friends when you started getting sober?
Kailey: Luckily, I have family members who have gotten sober themselves. That being said, I had a lot of much-needed support. In regards to my friends, most of them were active alcoholics and addicts so I had to create space between us.
Mrs D: Have you ever experienced a relapse?
Kailey: I have not. However, if I were to stop doing the things that help to maintain my sobriety, I would most likely relapse.
Mrs D: How long did it take for things to start to calm down for you emotionally & physically?
Kailey: I don’t think there was a specific point where I calmed down emotionally. My emotions tend to ebb and flow from normalcy to insanity if I’m being honest. Physically, I began to feel normal again after about 6 months.
Mrs D: How hard was it getting used to socialising sober?
Kailey: Very difficult. I have social anxiety, so being sober only intensified that for a while without the help of “liquid courage”. I am just now beginning to work on my social anxiety and feel some relief.
Mrs D: Was there anything surprising that you learned about yourself when you stopped drinking?
Kailey: There were many surprising things that I learned about myself. One worth mentioning, though, was discovering that I had an addiction to Xanax – which I was prescribed to for my social anxiety. I ended up finding a non-narcotic anti-anxiety medication that helps when coupled with stress-management techniques that I learned in therapy.
Mrs D: How did your life change?
Kailey: My life turned around completely. I went from being unable to have any meaningful relationships, to having a tight-knit group of friends that I now consider family. I am learning new things about myself every day, for example, what I need emotionally, who I truly am, and what my dreams and aspirations are.
Mrs D: What are the main benefits that emerged for you from getting sober?
Kailey: Two main benefits stand out the most to me. First, my ability to face hard times without a substance all while learning valuable lessons. Second, the lasting relationships I have built due to my sobriety.
Mrs D: Would you do anything differently given the chance to go through the process again?
Kailey: I don’t think I would. I have made plenty of mistakes, but those mistakes have gotten me to the place I am at today. I wouldn’t trade my current life and headspace for the world.
Mrs D: What advice or tips would you have for those who are just starting on this journey?
Kailey: Be patient, willing to learn, and try not to be too hard on yourself. Recovery is not linear. You will make mistakes, but they are a part of the learning process.
Mrs D: Anything else you’d like to share?
Kailey: Making the decision to get sober is the most difficult part. After that, if you remain focused and willing, you can achieve anything.Some mornings I wake up inexplicably happy to be sober - still, after 12 years!
June 17, 2024
The lovely Jean McCarthy has written another book, and we are so fortunate she is sharing an excerpt with us here at Living Sober!
April 14, 2022