It’s hard work…

Being a human is hard bloody work, there is so much to contend with. Setbacks and knockdowns, love and death, disappointments and frustrations. All the pesky negative emotions that goodness only knows I am only now years after quitting starting to get a handle on.

So many people find being a  human so hard that they turn daily to brain bending liquids to help them cope. They rely on their 5 o’clock alcoholic drink to help them deal with the day – I sure did. But it doesn’t actually help, all it does is disconnect us from what’s going on, delay making us deal with stuff and numb our true emotions.

It’s a trap that we’ve been tricked into thinking is a normal way to live. Step outside of it for a while and you start to see what a crock of shit it is. It’s a complete fallacy that alcohol is a necessary part of life. It’s a ridiculous notion that we need ‘help’ from a liquid drug to cope with our daily lives.

We have what it takes inside of us already.

Humans are meant to feel tricky emotions – they’re a part of life.  Sadness and pain and frustration and boredom are there for a reason. They’re telling us something. And if we let ourselves sit with these feelings, listen to them and experience them fully, they’re easier to understand and are more likely to pass quicker or prompt us into taking action.

Everything is better if you let yourself truly feel. Negative emotions make more sense and positive emotions are way more rewarding when felt as part of a huge mix of ups and downs. Being grounded and real and reliable and honest and true to who we genuinely are at any given time is the best way to live. It’s the normal way to live. It’s what we’re capable of.

Yet because we live in a booze-soaked world, living as a sober person is seen as the strange and unusual thing. How crazy is that!

Sober people aren’t strange and unusual, we’re not. We’re bloody legends. And I applaud each and every person who works hard to dig deep and become the best, most authentic, genuine, honest, robust and real version of themselves that they can be.

Bloody legends all of you.

Love, Mrs D xxx

  1. salshak 5 years ago

    32 days sober and getting ready to face my first traditionally boozy holiday: mulled wine, eggnog, champagne, and seasonal ales. Society makes it tough for sober folks. Well, my cheeks won’t be glowing rosy this year, and I’m a little worried about how I’ll fair through it all. After the last neighborhood party a few weeks ago, the hostess noted that I didn’t seem my usual outgoing self, and I to have noticed that a certain spark seems to be lacking in me now.

  2. Rosieoutlook 5 years ago

    Let’s raise our non alcoholic drink to that.!!!

  3. saftadontdrinknomore 5 years ago

    Thankyou, Mrs. D.
    What an inspiring post!
    & I love being called a legend.
    (Just need to internalize it!)

  4. Chii 5 years ago

    I was sober for 2 years, then like you I thought I could have “one drink, just one”. Well the joke was on me.
    Deep down I knew I couldn’t stop at just one, but I ignored the little voice telling me not to do it. So here I am yet again!
    I’m so happy I found this site, it makes me feel less alone knowing there are people who are going or have gone through the same thing I am.

  5. Mari135 5 years ago

    Love this so much oxoxxoxo

  6. Amy 5 years ago

    What a great post! I heard somewhere that you can’t selectively numb the bad feelings without also numbing the good feelings. Your post reminds me how much the effort is worth it. We earn those good feelings, and boy are they worth it xo

  7. KathrynA 5 years ago

    I just found your website!!!

    I was sober for EIGHT years and three months! I was SO happy!
    I even went through breast cancer not even craving a drink! It was a miracle.
    Also… husband was very ill for 15 months….I was his caretaker…..believe me…that was tough!!! NEVER craved a drink!!!!
    The night he passed away….still Never craved a drink!
    I was so strong and proud of myself!!!!

    A year and a half later…..I was lonely and decided to date!!! WORST mistake
    I made! I thought I could have a glass of wine!!!
    Now….I am a mess! Drinking for the past six months!!!
    This needs to STOP!!!!
    So happy I found your website!!!!

    • Classic50 5 years ago

      Thank you for sharing this. I copied it into my notes. It helps me because I’ve not been taking my problem seriously and I really needed to be reminded the way alcohol can take EVERYTING AWAY. thank you for your honesty, keep going no matter how tough it is!

  8. Saoirse 5 years ago

    Great post, totally agree it is a powerful decision to be AF, it changes your life for the better and you gain true inner strength and freedom. ❤️

  9. George 5 years ago

    Reading this made me cry literally.. I was going through a 1000 bitter crazy feelings all day.. Thanks for a great inspiring post.

  10. JM 5 years ago

    Great post, Mrs. D! Life is hard and it’s so much harder with booze. Shame-filled thoughts for days, sometimes months, crazylong horrible hangovers, working through debilitating nausea, damaged relationships, feeling trapped by it all. Ugh, who needs that? Not anyone. Here’s to being sober! Yass! (I think I got that from Broad City, super funny show.) xoxo

  11. Cinderella 5 years ago

    Honest and raw and powerful. Thank you Mrs D 🙂

  12. BEATUSELFUP 5 years ago

    We are all awesome, swimming against the current because we know that there is something wrong in a world that wants us to consume a mind numbing drug.
    And MRS D “staff of one” can I just say a big THANKYOU

  13. sheaney5 5 years ago

    “AVE IT (fist pump)

  14. Tom4500 5 years ago

    Bloody legends. Love it. Appreciate the encouragement, Mrs. D.

  15. Joanne 5 years ago

    Spot on. Just the words of encouragement and truth I need for today. Thank you for Living Sober!

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