Member @maryisnotafairy posted this in the Sober Toolbox recently and I thought it was bloody brilliant so am featuring it here as a blog post. At the time of posting she said “this really took me back to the last year of my drinking. My best tool is thinking through the drink. I never want to return to this reality.” Great, fighting talk and such a brilliant technique – otherwise known as Push the Fast Forward Button.
Please let me never forget the miserable boozy reality I was stuck in when boozing. This was me ALL OVER. Drink, regret, repeat. Drink, regret, repeat. Drink, regret, repeat. What utter madness is this? It’s called addiction folks…..
Diary of drinking:
4am – oh god, it’s only a few hours until I have to get up.
6am – snooze button, snooze button, why did I drink so much?
7am – I really need to get up, I’m gonna be late for work, I’m not drinking this evening, I promise.
7.30am – I’m gonna be sick, I just brushed my teeth and I feel awful. My stomach hurts, I just threw up in the shower, brush my teeth again, mouthwash, my stomach hurts.
8am – Driving into work, hope I don’t get stopped by the police, I’m probably still drunk, please don’t let me get stopped by the police, let me just get to work and I’ll never do it again.
9am – I’ve made it to work, were’s the coffee, I need some gum, hope my manager doesn’t notice, coffee and gum, coffee and gum, no one will notice, I can get through this, only 8 hours to pass.
11am – I have a client, hope they don’t smell the alcohol on my breath, I need more gum and more coffee, I can do this, just get through this one meeting.
1pm – Made it to lunchtime, get something to eat, soak up that alcohol, I’m almost there, half way through the day, you’re nearly there, just hang on.
3pm – Afternoon coffee, have a few cups, I’m not feeling too bad, what am I doing this evening? I’ve no plans, I may as well enjoy self, maybe I should have a beer, watch a film, kick back!!
5.30pm – Clocked out of work, feeling alright, on the way home, there’s the liquor store, it would be no harm in picking up a little something for later, I deserve it, I’m feeling good.
7pm – Cooking dinner, let’s open that wine, this is what people do, a few glasses of wine with dinner, nothing to worry about.
10pm – Might as well have a few after dinner drinks as I watch TV, a few whiskies before bed, what can it hurt.
2am – Just woke up on the sofa, really need to go to bed, dear god hopefully I’m not too hungover in the morning, let’s drink plenty of water, hopefully I’ll be fine in the morning.
4am – Oh god, it’s only a few hours until I have to get up!!!!