Recently Active Members
Licensed by NZ Drug Foundation under Creative Commons 4.0 2022. Built by Bamboo Creative and powered by Flywheel.
I pick, at random, a card from my “RELAX Deck. Look at the picture on 1 side – analyze it. And then read the Title and words written for the picture on the other side of each card. Today I looked again at a card I have stuck in my mirror. The Mask….it asks you to draw a mask of the authentic you. Art feeds my mind, heart & soul…in process of designing my authentic mask now. Very soothing and meditative. Relieves my mind and trains my brain to think good thoughts so I DO RELAX!!!
I love the idea of your Relax Deck. Did you make this yourself? I think even just the act of putting the deck together would be very therapeutic, so I’m going to try this. Thanks and good luck to you.
sometimes, i just “sit in my stuff.” it is uncomfortable i wont lie. and i talk to the wine. i tell it. “no, you didnt solve all my problems. you only created more. no you werent my best friend. you are my enemy. no you didnt make my life easier. you stirred up trouble. no you are not going to take me down. i am going to lay you down. its a battle and i want to win.
Just starting day 2, having found this website, I am feeling positive. That’s a great idea about the beads. I am going to try something similar. I am going to buy a nice glass vase and a bag of pretty coloured glass stones, and each day ,I don’t drink, I wii add a stone to the vase. I will place it in a place where I can see it, from the chair I sit in at night and drink. A visual reminder of each daily achievement.
I love this idea! Thanks for suggesting it. I’ve got some stickers I was going to stick on my calendar for each day alcohol-free but I like the idea of having a vase out in the open in the house, but having it be my secret what the little stones signify.
I’m going to do this too!!! I have a really nice chunky glass vase that’ll do the job perfectly! Thanks Marsha 🙂
I love this idea..im going to do it too
totally agree. so ncoew to start getting back into it after only 5 days drink free
I do yoga now! When I go to bed sans booze I can wake up with the energy, free time and (sometimes) motivation to set aside an hour for myself to practice yoga. It’s truly just for me: I light incense, play some blues or jazzy tunes and get to be alone with my thoughts for an hour.
Plus, I can have the occasional chocolate something or other and not feel guilty.
Xoxo
Hi all, talking self care here this is a post about colonic irrigation for anyone who has wondered about it, and the benefits. Like many my partner seems to find the topic schoolboy-level amusing however i take my colonic health seriously! For me it’s a sober treat and it’s kind of like a spa treatment. i have had several sessions and will have more, as a cluster of treatments is recommended when you first start. it’s likely you have a lot of cleansing to do if like me you are in your forties, whether you are a boozer or not it’s likely that by now you have A LOT of waste sitting around in your gut.
The colonic therapist explained that (it is her belief that) we carry traumas and our experiences in our physical bodies, not just in our heads and this can manifest in inflammation, discomfort and tension. Our lower intestine (bowel) can stop working effectively and the waste ends up bulging out into pockets of the bowel wall and just festering there. Even if you keep regularly (or not so regularly) eliminating waste, the old stuff still sits there as a toxic masses or blockages and can leak back into the body, making you feel crappy (he he) or actually ill.
I also heard Laura McKowen http://www.lauramckowen.com/ talking to Andrea Owen http://yourkickasslife.com/ on one of her podcasts and she believes as do others that we ‘carry our issues in our tissues’, and this is precisely one of the reasons why yoga is so beneficial to mental recovery as well as physical. stretching and movement helps our bodies to release the toxins and chemicals that have been released during trauma (or our everyday drama) and hang around in our bodies. Sounds good to me! Also, boozing dehydrates you as we know so that does not help with keeping your beautiful intestine moving things along smoothly.
After maybe 4 sessions a couple of weeks apart I felt a lot better ie not so bloated, my stomach and abdomen are looking more like they were pre-pregnancy and i’m feeling good about myself. The most recent session released a LOAD of toxic waste and I felt a big improvement to the bloat. My therapist put her hands on my abdomen when I first went along and said ‘wow you are really bloated’. I was like, am I?? I had basically just got used to feeling like that! Now clothes are fitting much better and I feel lighter and healthier. The actual mechanism is completely enclosed, no mess, it’s not gross. the therapist massages your abdomen during the treatment, you can see what is being eliminated through some clear pipes on the machine if you want – fascinating! that’s the best bit, seeing all the toxic waste going out of your precious body! So I would recommend it as a part of the detox picture.
I get my nails done or read a book or pour my heart into my family, housework and work. Anything to keep my mind busy.
I’m loving buying new clothes,fresh flowers ,scented candles,good books-clever thrillers,going to the movies,getting massages,& delicious hot baths .
I’m new here and grateful for all of you as i thought i was alone. I haven’t quit yet but have cut back and i’m planning the “great escape” for the 4th time. I’m a woman, a mother, a wife, and a closet drunk. No one knows. My family, my friends, my employer. I find it tough when i get home not to drink. I’m chronically bored by nature and think this has been my issue when analysing how i got caught up in this situation. I went most of my life without any alcohol to being a closet drunk the past 8 years. Are there also supplements to help cure this problem? And i heard eating grapes 3 times a day works wonders. Thanks again everyone! Love you all.
Me too! I haven’t quit yet, either, THIS TIME, but I also never drank much but watched my husband drink a lot and finally succumb to heart disease. Now I’m by myself and drinking by myself and nobody knows and it’s not a good thing. I’ve quit for awhile before and I know how good I feel not drinking. My birthday is in a month and this time I’m going to really quit.
How are you doing Anonymous? I tried to cut back dozens of times and it finally got so hard, and I got so tired of disappointing myself, that I finally said F it and quit altogether. Amazingly, it’s been much easier than moderating! Definitely get yourself into some hobbies if you are able–find something that really lights you up inside, something good for yourself or the world that you would do even if no one knew just because it feels good and right. In the meantime, milk thistle is good for your liver, and I have heard kudzu supplements can reduce the cravings. Good luck and I hope you are well!
Going to start scheduling regular massage. Can afford since not drinking. Also, since I recklessly wasted a good sum of money playing slot machines..realized could of had a massage daily and a nice shopping spree for myself. When I’ve properly saved back that money..I will do a small version of just that!
Every morning I wake up and tell myself Iwon’t drink tonight. Then somewhere throughout the day, I find an excuse to not resist that impulse to stop at the store on the way home. There’s a couple beers left in the fridge, still, but trying not to stop on my way home today.
I can so relate to that
i found the thought of going the first day without my “best friend” the toughest. i couldnt imagine how i would do it. the thought itself was way worse than doing it. i remembered what a non drinking friend of mine said when i told him i couldnt imagine how id break the habit. he said “just dont buy it and bring it into the house.”. i keep focused on that. i keep many different things in the fridge i CAN drink. i also have “unfriended” my alcohol and remind myself that no matter how innocent it seems, it is NOT my friend. just another bad relationship i have to say NO to.
Ooops, sorry, meant to post this as a daily reflection, wrong section!
But in the spirit of this thread, I love to cook and finding my interest declining. If I had to start with something to treat myself for not drinking, I think making some very tasty meals would be where I would start.
Feeling the need to journal through this af day. Need to post and share. It is only lunchtime. I went for a walk outdoors, but it was overcast and windy so I cut it short. Started a Netflix movie while having a slice of ham, sweet potatoes and field peas for lunch. I’ve cooked a lot the last two days so have plenty of good leftovers. Feeling content so far. Thank goodness the old habit of having wine with an early movie isn’t beckoning right now. It is a vacation day, so will keep you posted.
My main treat is time for me. I too have rediscovered reading and I also try to escape to my room just for ten mins or so and listen to a track I love and just lie and rest.
Am aware that this is a dangerous time for me. The main festivities are over and I am back to the reality of everyday life and problems.
Am trying to put things in place to ensure my safety, phone calls, meetings, texts, this site and routine.
After my relapse am now on day 11 which I am pleased with especially over Christmas was very stressful but I had support from my long suffering family.
Am making a plan each morning at this time which has helped me focus in the past and seems to be helping me now.
Would be grateful for any ideas from others.
New Year to negotiate now. We are staying home and relaxing quietly and watching fireworks at midnight. I don’t want to go out. Have got in lots of interesting soft drinks and no alcohol in the house.
Happy , Sober New Year to everyone!
Here’s to a peaceful 2017.
Lindy x
Am aware that this is a dangerous time for me. The main festivities are over and I am back to the reality of everyday life and problems.
Am trying to put things in place to ensure my safety, phone calls, meetings, texts, this site and routine.
After my relapse am now on day 11 which I am pleased with especially over Christmas was very stressful but I had support from my long suffering family.
Am making a plan each morning at this time which has helped me focus in the past and seems to be helping me now.
Would be grateful for any ideas from others.
New Year to negotiate now. We are staying home and relaxing quietly and watching fireworks at midnight. I don’t want to go out.
Happy , Sober New Year to everyone!
Here’s to a peaceful 2017.
Lindy x
I am going to put the money I would have spent on alcohol in a jar. I’m saving for a horse!! I am nearly 43 and have always dreamed of having my own horse. This is the year for it
Living on my own I was concerned about what I would replace drinking with, particularly with no one “to keep an eye” on me. But for the first time in I don’t know how many years, I have embraced the freedom to drive at night because I’m no longer drunk by 6pm! Now most evenings I drop in on a friend or family, or go to an AA meeting, hang out at the library, catch an evening movie or just drive into the city and take in the city sights and lights. I get such a kick out of being able to leave the house after the sun goes down and it reinforces my pride and commitment to my sobriety!
I am enjoying having clean clothes! And I also am happy to clean them
Clean fizz, Kombutcha or clean juice.
Moore Wilsons have a great range and I have always loved goodbuzz.co.nz
Day 15 , and I feel strong and dedicated ….I love the way my brain and body get healthier everyday !!
sorry ,think I may have posted a message on Sober Treats instead of Member’s Feed (which I can’t find) I didn’t mention any actual sober treats apart from reading but must say I am loving green tea & cake X
I can’t believe I missed my 800 days on the orange counter yesterday..Guess I was too busy with my family & celebrating my son’s 44th birthday. Anyhow so happy to continue my sober journey, I am going on holiday this week & on a holiday to the same place,where over 2 years ago I decided to have my last alcoholic drink ..right in the middle of the holiday..no one was more surprised than myself but I had been reading a lot of books about giving up & the clincher was Allen Carr’s book ‘Stop Drinking Now’, I often think about it now..must have been the right time for me..After that I read Jason Vale’s book & Mrs D’s which led me to this great site which is so supportive..Happy sober day to you all X
I really don’t know what this is but I’m very interested
I have been treating myself with all the money that is now in my account. I made a garden room, bought plants and thrifted cool items so my ‘hang out’ space is inviting, no booze allowed. I bought an instant camera and I am making a summer book of photos what I did, after a suggestion from Prudence. I get a mani pedi every once in awhile and take care of my skin, hair and nails to try to maximize what the change has been for me physically. I allow myself some carbs (sweets) once in awhile they help with the cravings. Good stuff helps.
Playing ping pong with my teenage son…..we laugh and laugh and laugh because I’m usually the one winning.
Also I enjoy reading Jesus Calling daily devotionals. If I find that I’m needing help or struggling a little bit, rereading that day’s devotional gets me over the hurdle.
I am just starting out and today is my last ever hangover. I have decided to treat myself every third month to a facial or body treatment. I am also going to join the leisure centre to do some fitness classes.
Oh, a facial Lucy! I should do that too. And scented candles.
I have read through all the comments and envy you people the peace you have found! I am still a bit frantic, being newly sober. Here is a list I am making up on the fly:
– buy a new puppy; she is my treat for doing something right for myself
– buy a new book? So many of you on here seem to find comfort in reading
– garden, garden, garden–buy a pretty new birdhouse for the garden? Lots of new plants and run out even in the middle of the night and plant something to avoid drinking
– keep a jug of green smoothies in the fridge so I can have a refreshing sip whenever I want. I just drank 900 ml of “extreme green” smoothie recipe…oops. That’s 540 calories. Oh well
– keep some delicious snacks on hand…but what. Will think about that.
– start exercising. But what? A little run down the street at night? yoga?
I’m just looking online at buying myself some RayBans and then I’m going to fix up my car so that it doesn’t look like a drunk/crazy person has been driving it!
need to share
How about being honest ?
I’m an alcoholic and cannot drink responsibly
Or, I have an addictive personality and one drink will not be enough and I’m unsure when I will be able to stop, 1 day, 1 week, 1year I don’t really know so I’ll leave it this evening. But thank you for asking……
Then look at the faces
Tazo green lemongrass ginger tea. Mmm.
Dried fruit is my new go-to treat in the late afternoon. Especially dried cherries. Totally weird and random… must be needing a sugar fix! 🙂
So this might sound a bit odd … but since I’ve stopped drinking, I’ve really been enjoying dried fruit as a little snack/treat in the late afternoons as a little pick me up. Must be a sugar craving but the cherries are really good! 🙂
No -Cook Ginger Slice (gluten,dairy &refined sugar free)
2 Cups of unsalted nuts (I used almonds,cashew and Brazil)
! cup fresh dates (or dry soaked 15mins and drained)
2 tbsp coconut oil (melted or soft)
! tsp ground ginger
Process and then press into a lined swiss roll tin.
Chill in the fridge while you make the icing
ICING
3/4 C Soft or melted coconut oil
1/2 C honey
1/2 C cashew butter
3 tsp ground ginger.
Whizz up and smooth over with a wet knife or spatula
store in an airtight container in fridge or freezer until ready to serve.
Yum! Gonna make this right now thanks, might have to hide it from the rest of the fam tho!
I brought myself a `pandora’ bead saying `faith’ for my evolve (like Pandora) bracelet the other week, and this week a massage – yep i’ve gone all out, but don’t feel so guilty or would have spent it on wine anyway!
That’s a lovely idea 🙂 my Pandora only has room for one more bead and it’s reserved for my grandson due in July. Will get his initial. Then I am going to start an Evolve bracelet.
Searching the internet for nice recipes, making desserts, new little rituals like eating in the garden. Make simple stuff more fancy and luxurious, buying lovely fruits which i usually found too expensive in the past. Basically spoil yourself with lots of small inexpensive things.
Each week that I stay ahead of the ‘fray’ (alkie), I put $30 in a jar. Each month, I now treat myself to a nice mani/pedi….SO RELAXING, and when they offer that complimentary glass of vino, I ask for water instead. I leave the salon hydrated and relaxed, with jazzy hands & feet! Fellow sojourners, treat yourself well, be good to yourself, be PROUD of your decision, and don’t let any slip-ups sink your sub…..carry on~!
Thats a great idea putting the money to one side
My sober treat has been a new skin care product each weekend. Something slightly expensive( saving so much money on the weekend not drinking!). People are telling me I look good lately. I like to think its a combination of no alcohol in my system and the new skincare products in my medicine cabinet:)
@davenajean-great idea. I too notice how my face,eyes look less haggard when I don’t drink.
Chia dessert or breakfast or snack
I have a plan for sugar cravings. Got chia seeds? Shake them up in almond or coconut milk, throw in vanilla or favourite flavours, a bit of stevia, honey or coconut syrup, & voila, a gorgeous healthy treat to have with pure yogurt &/or cream, any fruits. Mixed with whipped cream & frozen berries, put in freezer, & voila, icecream, but with a powerful protein & nutrition hit. Love it
Yum! That’s a great idea – I’m going to give it a try. Thanks for sharing 🙂
Just thought I’d share this gorgeous, and it truly is gorgeous, mushroom soup recipe I made this week following a pretty bad stomach bug I had where i couldn’t eat anything solid, but this was a bit more filling than tinned soup so I gave it a go. At the end of the recipe, I blended the whole thing into a smooth soup rather than with the chunky mushrooms in but that was only because after putting the 2nd batch of flour in, there were lumps of flour i couldn’t get rid of. I didn’t think it needed the extra flour so may well be worth just leaving that bit out if you want it chunky. But it is still beautiful as a creamy soup so either way you want to do it will be great still.
INGREDIENTS
SERVINGS 6
8 ounces fresh mushrooms
2 tablespoons onions, chopped
1 -2 garlic clove, minced
2 tablespoons butter
2 -3 tablespoons flour (separated)
2 cups chicken broth
1 cup light cream or 1 cup evaporated milk
1⁄2 teaspoon salt
1⁄4 teaspoon pepper
1⁄4 teaspoon nutmeg
DIRECTIONS
Cut the mushrooms into slices.
Melt butter in large frying pan. Add in onions, garlic, and mushrooms. Cook until onions are soft.
Blend in 2 T. flour and stir.
Add in the chicken broth and heat until slightly thickened while stirring frequently.
Stir cream with additional 1 T. flour and seasonings. Add in cream to soup. Heat to thicken while stirring frequently.
Serve and enjoy!
Lovely!!! So trying this!
That looks great. Cooking for myself and others is a great pleasure of mine as well.
@Davey Yum-o. I def need to try this recipe. Thx for sharing!
Looking forward to making that soup tomorrow, thanks
Thanks Davey! I’m off to get mushrooms! Hope a variety will work. Chanterelles, Oysters, Buttons, etc.?
I have discovered online jigsaw puzzles. I do small ones – 100 pieces – which gives me a 20 minute burst of pleasure. Doing doing jigsaws is apparently very good for getting both sides of brain to work together and producing good brain chemicals. I certainly find it very calming and there are so many beautiful pictures to choose from – like chocolates in a box!
I’m going to try that. Lately, I’ve been playing this dumb-ass game named “Candy Crush”. It takes me to la-la’ville. Perhaps the jigsaw thing would be a little more appropriate, heh. xo
what a great idea Salvia, thanks xx
I too recently discovered jigsaw puzzles. They are fun and quite satisfying. Glad to hear they are good for the brain. I do some word games too. I think the games may be addictive and I’m okay with that.
I’m going to search these out … Thank you!
My two eldest kids (10 and 8) have to read every day for school and I have to sign their diaries to say they’ve done so. So, we started a new little routine…. once the two babies are in bed, 7pm ish, I light candles in the living room while hubby and kids make hot choccie, then the four of us sit together in the living room, just for 20/30 minutes, reading our books and sipping our hot choccie. I absolutely love it. I’m ashamed to think that not so long ago I would be three quarters of a bottle down by that point.
Long may my children humour me in this pleasure 🙂
What a great time for you and a wonderful memory for your children to make!
I love this.
My son has been doing his gratitude journal every night but I am slack. Doing it together sounds like a plan 🙂
Beautiful idea. Thanks for sharing. xx
Yay! That’s amazing, Keep going!
that is awesome, calm peaceful relaxed atmosphere, best thing to teach the kids, time and patience
awesomely +ve alternative that builds you & your fams
aw thats so lovely x
My treat came unexpectedly: to be fully present in the evening after 5:30–to walk dogs in cool evening, read a book and remember it, and not wonder who I emailed or texted in the morning.
On a crasser note, calculated how much I spent in wine for a month and used it to buy an iPAD, with $ left over.
Omg that’s what I always did too…would see all the facebook posts and emails I didn’t even remember sending. :~
Love the fact you bought an iPad. I’ m finding mine great at 3 am when I can’t sleep and log onto this site. I did Dry July last year and sponsored myself. Worked out what my alcoholic consumption would normally cost in a month and did something way more useful with the money. Been with out booze 5 days this time. This time think I’ll treat me. Thinking about a pair of winter boots, really expensive ones.
My treat / reward for reaching Day 30 is a beautiful Bitossi ribbed glass tea mug ( with filter and lid) and a one cup stainless steel tea pot. Looking forward to trying out loads of new special teas – just for me!!
lovely treat, Im going to buy a new tea pot with a internal tea leaf strainer and buy loose tea leaves, I might wait till Christmas as im hoping hubby will get me one x
I’m trying to remember the things I like…..I have lost some of who I am in the fog I was in. Between being mum and wife, and hiding from myself by drinking – I’m really not sure who I am anymore. I know I am finding more pleasure in the simple, every day things. I hope that in time, I can be the person I am meant to be – whoever she turns out to be.
These words resonate even in 2018 for people like me. A lot has happened over the years and I realized I did for others to the sacrifice of finding out who or what I really am. What do I truly like or have interested in. Foods, clothing style, hobbies, etc. I have only just begun at 4, almost 44. Why is it so easy to give to others and do what others want….it almost is to selfless that it is selfish…does that even make sense? Day 6 for me today and I am just barely out of my fog
Your comment really hit home. I’ve been trying to understand what it is I’m going through in terms of losing my old self and becoming my “new” me. I used to have FOMO (fear of missing out) but now I have JOMO (joy of missing out) as I’m really tuning into ME and luckily, I am really liking who I am. I have the patience and the gratitude to move forward with this new identity; healthy, strong, loving and hopeful.
Wow That describes me too. I can’t remember all the little things I like…my life has been in a big fog. Im looking forward to find out who I really am without the booze 🙂
Deede
I also identify with your comment. I’ve known for a while that I lost myself but didn’t connect it to my drinking. How’s that for denial. One more reason to quit.
I know this is an old post, but, I am new to the site and your description is exactly one of the things that scares me about becoming sober…I have lived this way so long, I have forgotten who I am and even what I like…and what do you do with all of the time when you’d usually be drinking? I’d love to hear an update of how it looks to you now, further on. Thank you for sharing!
Yes I too can really relate to what you are saying. I too had a persona that I feel was clouded by drink and all the carry on that went with that. Plus it lasted on and off for 3 decades! I find it weird getting to know myself. I also find it scary that I can’t blame my drinking/hide behind my drinking and have to deal with feelings that seem so raw!………happiness included. All power to you and you are not alone x
I really relate to this comment so much of my identity was a party hard drinker. I was a guarantee for a party quite often by myself unfortunately, but like you I am finding simple pleasures wonderful! I am training hard and eating well and my mood has benefited 10 fold! I also am not sure where my new identity lies but I just know its not the big fat party guy anymore! Should I aim for a new persona or let one develop organically? whatever…i’ll be doing it healthy smile on my face.
I’m only on Day 5 but I can really relate to this. Felt today that I’m not really sure who I am without the wine! The day is soo long – what did I used to do to fill up the time (for me, I mean – not for others like hubby and kids) before wine came along? But I’m looking forward to finding out and rediscovering or inventing a whole new me.
Music!! I’m a music fiend now. I hook up my earphones to my phone and jam away while cleaning the house (hope no one EVER actually SEES this). I listen to the bubble hour while walking the dog….that’s a great treat. I listen to TED talks while walking the dog too. My dog is loving this! Treated myself to full body massage for reaching 30 days. Lots of baths, reading books, lunches with friends (never felt I could justify the cost/calories but SO great for the soul).
Well I can afford (price wise and waistline wise) to have a lot more treats in general now. I love going out for a morning tea of lattes and cake and sitting in the sunshine watching my children play and laugh. I love going on shopping expeditions and buying clothes I like that fit since I’ve lost weight from not drinking. I love feeling full of energy and getting to regular gym classes that I really enjoy because I’m not hungover. I love waking up to a clear head- that in itself is a treat..when for so many years the opposite has been true! I love reading books again. I now take the kids out to all sorts of places I never did before..like the library, the park, and the market, because I am thinking of them instead of myself and my addiction. So then, my treat is seeing my children happy…I could not hope for anything more really! Feel so blessed to be sober and have my life back.
I am 12 days sober and already I have a completely different contact with my children, like you say it’s about them and not me and my addiction….
Lovely post..Thanks
Great post nursestel…filled with so much happiness & joy…well done! 🙂
I am reading Allen Carr’s book on alcohol and “The Signature of All things”; having hot chocolate in the evening while watching ONE episode of a series I follow instead of 4 while smoking and drinking…; Taking hot baths while reading and listening to music. AND every now and then, reminding me of the money I save.
Being sober, Ive remembered the person I was before I started drinking. Ive rememebered the things I used to enjoy; reading, eating, watching a movie (and remembering the ending!), writing, painting my toe nails, crosswords, helping my kids with their homework, buying jewelry, writing a diary, burning incence, making photo albums, walking in the sunshine, me time – too name just few! I relize now how alchol was just stripping me bare of all the things I enjoyed to do.
So true. Your post hits home.
Oh how I needed to read this today! I was thinking the same last night. All the interests I had before this got out of hand. Drinking, then hangovers, thinking about not drinking, then feeling unwell all the time and beating ourselves up takes us away from our true selves…I want me back too 🙂
I can so relate to this. I am looking forward to seeing the ‘END’ of a movie and being able to remember it!