That’s our biggest fear when we quit drinking isn’t it … that other people are going to think we are boring sober losers who are to be avoided at all costs.
Or maybe the truth is we are the ones doing the accusing, considering ourselves to be boring sober losers.
It was certainly my biggest fear. Without booze on board how could I keep being fun Lotta the crazy party girl, or upbeat Lotta the awesome host (always with wine on hand to offer guests), or naughty Lotta with the twinkle in her eye going hard into the wee small hours. Without booze on board I thought I couldn’t possibly still be any of those things, and so the obvious alternative (fear) was that I would turn into boring sober Lotta, with nothing to offer.
I mean, what complete utter fucking bollocks! (Pardon my French). I mean seriously… this is the twisted alcoholic thinking that we fall prey to when we are so intrenched in a boozy state of mind.
Why would not drinking alcohol suddenly negate any positive qualities that we might naturally own? Why would having an un-inebriated brain remove our naturally interesting personalities, kind hearts, or curious brains?
Like so much of what we fear when we first get sober it is absolute bullshit to think that we turn into boring sober losers when we stop drinking.
Sure, we might be quieter in a group setting or leave events earlier than before, but that doesn’t mean we’re boring. On the contrary it quite possibly means that all the other people who are drinking have become boring. Or maybe it just means we’re taking a back seat because we don’t feel the need to push ourselves forward, or we’re taking steps to look after ourselves and treat ourselves kindly – and both of those things are pretty bloody smart if you ask me.
I get why we have this fear though. Living a boozy life is living with dramatic moments, grand gestures, wild and crazy antics, or heightened interactions .. and living a sober life is not. Living a sober life is about having genuine moments, meaningful gestures, authentic fun and heartfelt interactions. Quite often subtle and low key, but always rewarding and fulfilling.
I know which life I’d choose. And frankly, if anyone thinks I’m a boring sober loser then that’s their problem, not mind.
Love, Mrs D xxx