We are not boring losers…!

We’re just people who don’t drink alcohol.

I’ve just been hanging the bunting in the dining room for tonight’s dinner party. Mr D said “is that going to stay there for months now?” I said “maybe!”. It looks festive and cool.

There are some Living Sober members here who are really stuck in the thick sludgy mud, feeling like life is never going to be fun again without booze, feeling emotional and pissed off. I get it. I really do. Being sober is hard sometimes. Everything is so goddam raw all the time. There’s no escaping ever. It sucks balls early on, it really does.

And then – look! a glimmer of hope! .. followed by – wow! Was that a rush of natural endorphins when I heard that cheesy song. I suddenly felt really good then… and then! Aaaahhhh.. what is this calmness that has taken over my day…

Getting sober is about slowing down.. but it takes time. We’re so used to the rush rush rush of boozing.. numb numb numb.. glug glug glug… and when that goes…

BAM. Silence.

Listen to the silence if you can. Or fill it with other lovely non-dysfunctional stuff. The booze is never going to give you the lovely peace, calm and contentment that (I anyway) was so desperate for.

I’m sorry this post is a quick blurt-out.. I’ve got the kids scrabbling around me and we’ve got to head out and get supplies. But I just want to say to everyone who is at every stage of recovery – either not quite there yet, stuck in the thick sludgy mud of the early phase or starting to glimpse the happiness and peace.. hold on, go gently, take care, you’re doing great.

You are brave and amazing.

Love, Mrs D xxx

9 Comments
  1. Twinkle 5 years ago

    You know, I think I was always afraid of the silence. Afraid of what I might hear myself think. Wine, 2 glasses initially, always took me to a place of feeling calmer. It was explained to me that’s the ADHD. I felt like I was on the same planet as everyone else after those 2 glasses. Everything slowed down. The problem, was I rarely stopped at 2 glasses, and ultimately it became 2 bottles, more regularly than I’d like to admit, and I was shitfaced. I’m realising that silence is not so scary and, magnesium helps. I did have some acupuncture today which was good. Coming into Saturday evening here going to find a nice movie. Xx Justine.

    • gabbygirl14 5 years ago

      Outstanding and Fabulous!!!! Thank you Twinkle. What movie are you going to see. I am watching “An act of Valor.”

  2. freebreezi 5 years ago

    thanks for that feedback Megs and Catherine. Hanging in there, no wine [yum to Stoneleigh…] and yes I had a beautiful sunny day. Great to have that support.

  3. Paulita 5 years ago

    Hi guys, I’m hanging on to your coat-tails at 36 days sober. I’m feeling great so thanks for the tip about bumps in the road. I think I’ll plan a day 40 treat for me – I’m motivated by rewards 🙂 Maybe you can plan a day 45 treat or a ginormous day 50 treat ? We are doing so fabulously – I have been trying to string together 5 days sober for years and I’ve got a bit of sober momentum going now. Let’s keep rolling!

  4. MiaJ 5 years ago

    I’m grateful to you for providing such a positive place to celebrate recovery. I was really starting to think that people in recovery were all miserable.

  5. freebreezi 5 years ago

    40 days alcohol free. I thought I was going great guns but am now doing struggle big time which really brasses me off. I want a drink of wine. Yep, I’m in that thick sludgy mud and it’s tough going. And I don’t even know why???? Good positive blog.

    • S.D. 5 years ago

      40 days also. We can do this. I just had a game of golf (on a sunday morning!) I wouldn’t of bothered before. Training my brain to think differently is helping so much. I think of drinking quite a bit at the moment, but think like – Yay, I am free, I don’t have to take that drug anymore. I don’t need it. I don’t want it. I am the same person, doing more in my life and loving it.

    • Catherine 5 years ago

      Hi freebreezi. I am 42 days sober! We are at the same stage. I’m the same, ,it’s always wine, and good wine at that! I miss my Stoneleigh Sav but I know for sure I will survive today. Hope the sun is shining at your place like it is mine. Take care. P.s I’m also in that thick sludgy mud.

    • Megs 5 years ago

      Hey freebreezi . I can so relate to you. 40 days today but suddenly it’s feeling so much harder. Last night I really, really wanted that glass or four of wine!!! Have we fallen off our pink clouds? I had a feeling it had been a bit too easy to be true. But I’m not bl..dy drinking today and neither are you! We can do it xx

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