This guest post was written by the wise and lovely@suek after she hosted some friends for dinner recently.
@suek: The talk starts as I’m tossing the salad.
Friend: Are you still not drinking Sue?
Me: Nope. (Hubs chirps in and says “It’s been three years now!” That made me smile.)
Friend: THREE YEARS??!!!!
Friend: Don’t you miss it?
Me: Not at all. I actually really love not drinking.
ME: YES! I feel great, and I’m looking pretty good these days too, don’t you think?!
Friend: Yes, you are indeed! Do you think you’ll ever just have the occasional drink, you know, just a wine or two with dinner?
Me: No, I don’t think I will. I really like being booze free. I feel so much better now than I ever did when I drank wine.
Friend: So have you found something else to drink instead?
Me: I’m loving soda water these days.
Friend: So you don’t miss wine then?
Me: No, I don’t. When I first stopped, I missed it massively. But now I can honestly say I don’t miss it at all. I am perfectly happy drinking soda water.
And in my head, I was going WOW too. Not because of the conversation. I’ve had this one many times before. If I’m honest, I always saw it as a kind of a test. At first it was to see if I could say things like this without a shakey voice. And then it was so see if I could I say these things while making eye contact with the person asking the questions. Then it was to see if I could add tiny bit of conviction and confidence. And later it was to see if I could sound like I hadn’t been rehearsing it endlessly, and actually believed it.
This night I realised that the test was over. I was having this conversation and I was confident, full of conviction, making eye contact (and gesturing!!), and this is now actually MY TRUTH. WOW WOW WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All this is to tell you that Things Change.
We get rid of booze, and things change for the better. It takes time, and you need to be patient, but you are healing, and you’re heading in a Very Good Direction. Keep going.