Thick Sludgy Mud (warning: laboured metaphors within)

mud

That's how I think of early sobriety. You've jumped off the Boozy Cliff into a ginormous field of Thick Sludgy Mud and you have to wade your way through it to get to Peaceful Sobriety Island.

It's hard bloody work. Your brain freaks the fuck out that you've taken away it's beloved drug … you brain also keeps bombarding you with all these hard-wired messages that alcohol is a necessary part of life, the golden ticket to fun and a harmless liquid to be imbibed at will. Most likely your friends and family will also (subtly  or overtly) bombard you with those messages, as will clever advertisers.

So you're fighting against your own brain and the entire world (it feels like) and you're stuck in Thick Sludgy Mud of early sobriety feeling raw, emotional, drained, obsessed, confused… aaarrrggghhh! Jeepers it's no worry so many people stop-and-start all the time.

But this is why we need all of the folks in recovery hanging out happily on Peaceful Sobriety Island to stand up and wave out. "Keep Going!!" we cry… "keep going, you can do it, you're doing so great, go gently, treat yourself kindly, keep going.. it's going to be ok, look at us we're over here never touching alcohol ever and we're feeling great!!!!".

I'm doing one of those double arm waves as I shout out.

I've been dancing around this online recovery world for nearly 3 years now talking to people in all stages of recovery, commenting on blogs, responding to emails etc, and those are the lines I most often type out. They may seem trite and overused but they're the simple powerful truth.

Keep Going.

You can do it.

You're doing so great.

Go gently.

Treat yourself kindly.

Keep Going.

It's going to be ok, look at us, we're over here never touching alcohol ever and we're feeling great.

This is why I'm hoping lots of people already in recovery join Living Sober to help promote Peaceful Sobriety Island (I warned you I'd be labouring metaphors in this post…!).. because those of you either still on Boozy Cliff or stuck in the Thick Sludgy Mud of early sobriety need to know that these are places you can get out of. They are stages that can be overcome. They will pass.

So long as you keep moving ahead.

Love, Mrs D xxx

85 Comments
  1. Page 4 weeks ago

    Am so happy I stumbled across Mrs. D while doing some research. Like some on here, am pushing my late 40s and believe it’s time to really make some changes in my wine habit. So much so that I started my own little “accountability” blog to help keep me on track (www.runswithcorkscrew.com). Am only two weeks into this ride, so I can relate to those going through the struggle. It’s real. Think the mistake I made in the past is trying to do it all on my own, so am making some changes this go around in hopes that my new “wine free” life sticks. Good luck to all of us on this journey.

    • Kaz 4 days ago

      Enjoyed your stories Page – tried to leave a comment on your website but it didn’t seem to work – get back on the wagon and keep going!

    • Megnesium 1 week ago

      Hi page, our stories are similar but I have just started only a week in.

      I feel very grateful to have picked up Mrs Ds book one day and read her story and found the wonderful community.

  2. Anonymous 1 month ago

    Day 1 for me

  3. Kezza 3 months ago

    Hi Everyone,
    I am a newbie to this website. I am a 55 mother of three teenagers who has been a heavy drinker for about twenty years. I used to drink a bottle of red wine a night, then switched to vodka a few months ago to try and control my weight and blood sugar. I was soon drinking a 1 litre bottle a week, so that didn’t help much.
    I have now been sober for 11 days and I am deep in the thick sludgy mud. I am tired, tearful, achy and just feel blah. I can’t sleep properly and it feels like my brain has gone on vacation. Interestingly, I’m not really having any cravings, just the occasional “I would really like a drink” thought, particularly on my birthday yesterday.
    I had assumed that I would feel heaps better after 3-4 days, but that has definitely not happened.
    How long does detox and the sludgy mud take to navigate?
    Thanks for your help,
    Kezza

    • sober4real 4 weeks ago

      Hi Kezza – how are things going now? We are in the same age group and it’s harder to quit now than ever but will be worth it.

  4. ClarityandPeace 6 months ago

    Dear Colleen, I turned 50 a year and a half ago and had been sober about 3 weeks. A few days later I had a drink. Not sure how many times I’ve done that (go a few weeks to a few months sober and then think having a drink will be fine) but it’s been a lot of times – maybe 10 times. And it’s never turned out “fine.” It always eventually leads to an obsessive mind and increasing quantities of alcohol. I just wanted you to know that 18 months after 50, the issues and opportunities are the same: we can be 51 and sober. Or 51 with a drinking problem. I’m three days sober and For the first time I’ve found these sober blogs and joined gratefully. I am committed to learning my lesson. When I’m 52, I want to feel the benefits of 6 months sober and when I’m 60 I want to be 8-1/2 years sober. I want off the hamster wheel. Let’s do this! Many good wishes to you!

  5. colleen martino 6 months ago

    Hi I am also turning 50 this month had 5 days sober but had a glass of wine last night the temptation was so strong on a Friday night however I poured the 2nd drink down the drain

  6. gingermonkeymind 6 months ago

    This is brilliant! Thank you, Mrs. D! I’m so happy to have made the jump from the boozy cliff and am currently slogging my way through the mud to join you on Peaceful Sobriety Island. Thanks for waving your arms, jumping up and down, and for cheering us all on! And thanks for this warm community of encouraging folks. What a gift you are!

  7. Lily2101 8 months ago

    Today is day 1. I feel awful and worthless for having been drunk again.

    • Reinventing 1 month ago

      Oh…the guilt….I am so ashamed. Went out with a friend and had a black out evening. How does this happen? In the beginning of the night… Halloween… people kept telling me how beautiful I was. Thought long and hard about my costume…practiced the make up untill I could do it perfectly…and seriously I did look awesome. Then Bam!!!!! The light switch is flipped…and I’m a drunk idiot. Spent the entire next day in bed. That was 7 days ago. Like many I have refrained from alcohol on many occasions….then I start again thinking “I can get a handle on this”. Then slowly I slip right back into the same bad humiliating habits. Well hopefully this time is different…I feel very determined…no more of this madness.

    • JackieH 6 months ago

      Day 1 for me today @lily2101 and i feel the exact same. I hope you feel much better..

  8. Butterflygal3 9 months ago

    Hi Mrs D. I have been following your story for some time now. I just need to take the leap and get the confidence I CAN DO IT! I just do not know where and how to begin. I know if so many in this community do it is possible.

  9. SummerCruise 9 months ago

    I’m day 3 and I absolutely love this site. So encouraging and comforting to know that I’m not the only one struggling. Right now I have a very acute awareness of the waves of cravings that come and eventually go. It’s definitely hard work staying the course but I’ll do anything to not go down that boozy, lonely, blackout, embarrassing road again. If I go back … I will die. That’s the bottom line. My strategy so far is to just focus on being present in the moment. I don’t worry or think about 5,10 or 15 minutes into the future. Just live the moment you are in right now. Remain calm and breathe through each wave of cravings (even though your scared and not feeling brave – just do it! It will pass). Much love to everyone! We can get through this!

  10. sharon porter 11 months ago

    I’m on day one. Have drunk for years. Counseling not really helped. I’m gonna keep checking back in here for support.

  11. HopefulHannah 11 months ago

    I’m right there with you, anonymous! I’m 4 days in, it’s terrifying!

    • Virginia 11 months ago

      To you and Anonymous….thank you for the inspiration! I just joined this group a couple of days ago and I’m telling myself I’m strong enough to make this Day 1! Need to get up at 4:30 am so only a few hours till bedtime…and I’m counting the minutes!

  12. Anonymous 1 year ago

    Oh my gosh I am 2 days in and I am petrified I won’t make it!!! I have very stressful job and cannot go to AA as known in my town ! You are all so incredibly inspirational and Mrs D you nail so much in you blogs thank you this is first time I have posted didn’t. I have read every alcohol sobriety site and this one is great! But still I am worried !

  13. Millicent 1 year ago

    The island awaits me – I look forward to arriving – I am on my way and will not look back – only forwards – thank you for being there – I look forward to meeting those heading there and chatting on the way and those who are waiting to haul me along with my new found travellers from the mud on to the sandy shore and provide us with a lovely cup of tea!

  14. TexasGirl 1 year ago

    I hope all is going well for you!! I’m just checking in. I do on occasion. 279 days into my sobriety. I have never posted just looked for encouragement in the early days. Go here to check out what day I’m on now and CELEBRATE my new life. I love my sobriety and it does get easier!!

    • Millicent 1 year ago

      Wow – I want to be able to get to triple digit days of sobriety – congratulations

  15. Anonymous 1 year ago

    It’s really good to see another 2017 comment.

    From many of the other posts, it seems there is quite a bit of activity. And that is what I’m looking for- something very current to relate to and engage with.

    Hope you are well. I am on my second bottle for the day.

  16. DMK 1 year ago

    I just found this site and I’m on day 1 again for about the 100th time. I’m wondering how long it takes to initially get through “the mud”? A while ago, I did 30 days sober and I think remember feeling like it was getting easier towards the end. I knew in advance it was only 30 days and proceeded to celebrate by partying my butt off. What’s the point in that?! I really need to get sober, I’m starting to spiral out of control. Tips for beginners who are tired of failing?

  17. StaceyK 1 year ago

    I love the thick sludgy mud metaphor! I use the ‘hard drive with a virus’ metaphor to describe myself at the peak of compulsion. My brain was the computer hard drive and alcohol was the virus that I allowed in to take control. I was me but not me. Some functions I performed normally and many from the outside couldn’t tell the difference. But the alcohol was really in control of some major functions and decisions (bastard!) and I needed some major reprogramming and a huge reboot to the ass to get my control back. :-)))))

  18. wishingone 2 years ago

    I wish I could start

    • Butterflygal3 9 months ago

      Hi Mrs D. I have been following your story for some time now. I just need to take the leap and get the confidence I CAN DO IT! I just do not know where and how to begin. I know if so many in this community do it is possible.

    • Jane71 1 year ago

      you can! I was the last person who thought I could ever get sober – 15 years of very heavy drinking which destroyed every relationship I had, was a sometimes awful mum to my three kids and thought I needed alcohol to deal with grief, sleep, and basic functioning. I got really tired of hangovers a couple of years ago though. I’ve only been sober for two weeks but it’s life changing – some of my myths that I had told myself for all these years (and many before during my binge drinking days) are actually not true – I can sleep without it, I can actually FUNCTION without it! I have been watching lots of TV and brought a ton of herbal teas and fizzy waters (have these in a wine glass at night). You can do it (I say that with certainty because I did)
      xxxxx

  19. wishingone 2 years ago

    I wish I could be like you

  20. Anonymous 2 years ago

    Hi just read your post and wondered how you were doing,am on day 2 after a 3 day binge of 6 bottles of wine av had enough. To see the hurt in my partners eye yet again I know I have to stop. I feel guilty and ashamed of what I have become. Anyway I really hope you have stuck with it and all the best

  21. Anonymous 2 years ago

    I’m on day one.. freaking out !!@

  22. Damselontheedge 3 years ago

    Ah yes the thick sludgy mud is where I am right now and thank you for the light at the end saying it gets better, I was wondering today if its ever going to get better. Its Day 10 today and I have no idea how I have even made it this far without my best friend wine. I almost convinced myself AGAIN this afternoon that the odd glass on the night before my only day off will be fine, surely I can cope with that. NOT I cant remember how long it took last time I gave up for 9 months until I started to cope. I think the thing that is the hardest is I have had to change my whole social life, all of our friends drink and drink a lot so Its going to be very lonely for a while as I will not deal with being around them, they are all huge triggers, THANK God for all of you and this site. I once took myself off to the drug and alcohol centre for help in my town and left feeling more than ever that I needed a drink, the woman I talked to looked like someone I would have partied with and was absolutely no help what so ever so I never went back after my one and only visit.

    • Binge 3 years ago

      Hiya just read your post, I do the same thing just think ah well surely I can have just cple glasses wine after a busy day, but No! I never no when to bloody stop, it’s all or nothing. Really looking forward to no more hangovers, day one and I have one today, it’s the worst, I love being feeling healthy , can’t even fathom the damage I’m doing to my body, good on you 10 days is 10 days

  23. Hillary 3 years ago

    I’m on this side of the pond, as well, BeeGirl. After much lurking, podcast listening and blog reading, I’ve come to think that the New Zealanders have a much happier, more supportive and lovely view of sobriety and recovery than us Yanks do!

  24. Deede 3 years ago

    Thankyou for that post. I keep jumping but can’t swim very well…so I climb back to my drinking friends on the cliff. where I feel comfortable and safe (I guess?). I want so much to be on the happy, healthy island. Im building a raft and I’ve told all my friends…Monday April 25 is my launch date 🙂

  25. myfriend 3 years ago

    Hello out there on Peaceful Sobriety Island! I feel like I’m on a one-woman island myself right now…. still new at this and struggling mostly with solitude and, oddly, with celebration. I just passed a huge exam last week and am turning 50 this Sunday. It’s so tempting to raise a beer to celebrate, with siblings or by myself. The posts here are intelligent and insightful. It would be great to hear some encouragement… though I’m not sure where to post this. Will it get read here?

  26. Anonymous 3 years ago

    Hi Mrs. D
    I’m just starting out and thought I was doing really well- 18days sober and for some reason thought I could have a glass of wine with dinner last night. I just had one but wanted another and now I just feel so disappointed and angry … Any words of advice?

    • Author
      Mrs D 3 years ago

      Hi there, my advice is to pick yourself up point yourself forward and keep going! Keep a positive outlook, keep a vision in your mind of who you want to be (calm and happy and sober) and an image of who you don’t want to be (boozy and unhappy) and just forge ahead. don’t beat yourself up too much, it’s a hard thing to get rid of (booze) but it can be done, good luck! x

  27. Anonymous 3 years ago

    I am so in the sludgy mud right now. After doing so well for 18days I decided to have a glass of wine while out for dinner with my husband, who advised me not to (so I did). And yes I wanted a second which he talked me out of. I am really p….d off with myself and feel abut of a failure right now

  28. amoss 3 years ago

    early mud mum glorious mud … however my wonderful wise nurse steph is utterly delightful and funny and with this/ the mud is not so dense more .

  29. sunflower 3 years ago

    Loved this post! Thank you Mrs D, your constant encouragement is greatly appreciated xx

  30. Bek21 3 years ago

    yep I awoke to the mud this morning, thank you for these inspiring words and encouragement.

  31. Halo 3 years ago

    Hi have just joined.Very new to this and it feels scarey but i feel ready to make a change .

    • mybed 3 years ago

      Hi there. I’ve just joined a few days ago too. Yup scary….I do lots of what they call lurking! You are the first person I have communicated with. I hope your day has gone well and the evening not to much of a struggle. Stay strong, I’ll keep a look out for you.

  32. louise 3 years ago

    hi I love your blog and have been trying for a few days to join the living sober group but it keeps coming up with an error and says to contact webmaster which then gets sent back as an invalid e mail address? would you be able to help
    thanks

  33. BeeGirl 4 years ago

    Thanks Mrs. D, I’ll stick around with you all then. Thanks for the welcome!

  34. BeeGirl 4 years ago

    Thanks for this Mrs. D and thanks for you and your blog. This is my first comment after lurking for the last week and a half. Day 11 over here across the big pond. It’s been helpful to read that it gets easier. Thank you for that.

    I’m wondering, not only am I in the sludgy mud(it’s actually going ok, just a little bit thick right now) but I’m also across the pond of the Pacific. Are there any sister sites that you partner with on the east side of the puddle? Or is it ok for us Americans to join you here in your space? Thanks again for being here, and keep waving to us from over there!

    • Author
      Mrs D 4 years ago

      No sister sites just our lovely site open to the world @beegirl, we have lots of members from America, Canada, Britain etc etc.. You are more than welcome x

  35. Xxxx 4 years ago

    Ugggg… I’m in the mud… But still trudging on day 3!

  36. MsLil 4 years ago

    I like the sludgy mud metaphor – I also think it is the same when boozing as that’s just how I feel trying to climb out of this bottle like I am down the bottom without any climbing ropes or harness and my feet won’t grip the side of the glass bottle – as I shout my voice echoes inside the bottle like thunder reminding me of the storm I’m caught up in.
    I feel like a prisoner trapped in this silly idea – yet one drink and nothing is silly anymore at least that is how it seems…and so it goes on until that habit is broken. I often come back to the idea that none of us were born with a drink in our hand so how did it get there in the first place and why do we think we need this stuff anyway? it isn’t something that we need to survive but we choose to include it – we choose to have it – we choose to be in this place – and that is how I am approaching it this time – a choice.

    • victoria4 3 years ago

      Thank you for reminding me that this is a choice…sobriety is MY choice. No one is making me do it. If they tried, I know my stubborn personality would make me choose to keep drinking, at least for a little while.

  37. Free 4 years ago

    Thank you for this blog post. It really encouraged me and I love it. I think it’s so true – how hard it is to get through the thick sludgy mud – but that group on that island… that group can make all the difference! I just recently had an experience where I reached out and, for the first time, I shared my story. I barely got a response and it was crushing. After 10 days in the mud and seeing only a few sporadic faces on the island, I turned around. It was this experience that made me realize how much I NEED the support of the right community. I need that island! I won’t give up on trying to find it! Thank you for lifting me up today!

    • Felicity 3 years ago

      Haha @Free just realised this post was from back in Feb!!! How’s it going? x

    • Felicity 3 years ago

      Hi @Free I am also 10 days in, well I actually told myself i was going to stop six weeks ago but have been struggling at the weekends, However I have been battling on and off for years… I totally agree it’s so important to get the right support in the early days, this week I sat down with a very clear and constructive argument and explained to all my friends and family (a brave move) that I NEED to do this and I really want their support…. Those that agree to help and give you positive re-enforcement about your decision are the ones worth holding onto. If you know in your heart of hearts this is the right decision for you, coming out and telling those close to you will really help not only because they will be able to help keep you on the straight and narrow but also because you will be able to sort the wheat from the chaff and figure out who is worth taking with you on your journey. If they really love you they will support your decision, and there’s always us lot here online when you want some objectivity…. Anyway stick at it, listen to your heart and intuition the clarity will come just work through the messy bit one day at a time. Also above all else the one person you need love from is you so go easy on yourself and break it down into manageable chunks x

  38. Sfran 4 years ago

    Funny, I don’t know if it just because it is my drink of choice, but wine seems to be the drink many of us struggle with. I would drink Chardonnay, nothing else, and wouldn’t even bother with anything else. What is it with wine?

    • victoria4 3 years ago

      I noticed that, too. I wonder if there’s some chemical component that makes women feel particularly euphoric (for a little while) like chocolate. That was easier for me to give up than my Cabernet

  39. Arianne 4 years ago

    keep waving….stormy holiday season with high seas !

  40. Viatoday 4 years ago

    Great metaphors! I am still wading through the mud and muck but on clear days I can see the island and you all waving and I am looking forward to being there! Viatoday (Day 86)

  41. fridaymay92014 4 years ago

    Help.
    I can’t seem to get off of the Boozy Cliff. I certainly have a lot of excuses and reasons to drink right now. I am looking for others who have quit under similar circumstances. I want to hear that I can do this despite those reasons and excuses. I do know that it would be better to have my feelings without numbing them, yet……
    Separated, divorce in progress. (That is a roller coaster.)
    My sister passed away last week. (I am broken hearted)
    I really want off of this cliff. Every day I sadly reset my counter. Yesterday was especially difficult. I don’t know what about yesterday put me in such a dark place. I didn’t bother fighting the urge for a margarita. (Wine is my main problem but that margarita with Mexican food is alluring as well.) And I followed that with wine once I got home.
    It is morning here. My daughter is on her way here from Europe. (Yep, I’m in the US). One of the 1st things she wants is Mexican food and a margarita. Trying to figure out what I would order if I weren’t drinking and what I would say to her-maybe, “one of us needs to be able to drive home.” I don’t know.

    • Bex 4 years ago

      It’s a mind shift. I negotiate with myself. Sometimes continuously. No one stops me drinking. And it can come down to second by second, minute by minute. Yes, I’ll have a glass please, hold on, one second no. Hold on to your pain, wrap your arms around yourself and watch The Life of Brian. I know Mrs D is proud of us all. Mexican – I’ve been drinking a lot of soda with elderflower cordial, a squeeze of lime juice and some fresh mint all swirled around with some ice cubes.

    • gabbygirl14 4 years ago

      I have been exactly where you are and it is the worst feeling in the world. The good news is YOU CAN DO THIS!!!! The great news is YOU WILL FEEL SO MUCH BETTER if you stop. I know you can do this. I drank for every reason in the world. I drank when I was happy and I drank when I was sad. I am so sorry for your seperation/divorce (my heaviest drinking times) and then my father passing more binging. I am in the United States also. Let me know how I can help!!!!

    • fridaymay92014 4 years ago

      It is 7:45am here as I write this. And I hate sounding whiny.

  42. mumh 4 years ago

    Please, please try and stay positive. I am now 14months sober life has thrown me more stresses than necessary (death of a parent, hubby redundant,shifting house-and that was one month this year), but I still like the person I am today than the one that was drinking. My drinking caused friends and family to distance themselves from me and I even had to look in the rubbish bin in the morning to see what if anything I had for tea the night before. I completely isolated myself and started drinking not at 5pm but no later than 10am, so was completely gone buy 2pm. Today I am very happy with my life, enjoying a grandchild(wasn’t allowed to associate with her before), have a great job and actually like myself.
    Mrs D you are an inspiration – I don’t look to for into the future but take a day at a time.

  43. Megs 4 years ago

    Such a great post. We can all relate to being stuck in the mud. I’ve got one foot on the island but one foot still in the mud. Some days it feels so easy. Other days a real fight. But I’ve felt how fantastic to be off the wine and I want that for the long haul. What’s keeping me going is reading these blogs, and I can feel my thinking changing slowly. I’m focusing more on the gains, and less about the loss of my old friend Mr Wine. Just got to get the other foot on the island xx

  44. All4clarity 4 years ago

    Thank you for waving…you’re right the mud is freaking thick …but I am 11 days in and the Island is a speck I see…!!! I have given up many times before and really want to come join ya’ll on your Island of Peaceful Sobriety…trudge trudge!!!! XO LOVE this new site!!!

    • gabbygirl14 4 years ago

      I am 5 days in!!! YEAH FOR YOU 11 days… I am looking forward to the Island… I LOVE this sight also. The mud is thick but I am going to keep going no matter how thick it is. SO LOVE THIS SITE TOO!!!! IT GIVES ME HOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Each day I feel a little bit better!!!

  45. Alongtimeoverdue 4 years ago

    Thick Sludgy Mud sucks! Feck I am grumpy. I couldn’t have picked a worse time to give up – some major life events have coincided with this journey and seriously, I think it would all be a whole lot easier if I just drank. I just made a crucial work error last night – I never made that error when half plonked! That little voice is having a joy ride with me, if it lived I would punch it, seriously, hard, and I do not condone violence but how much do I have to put up with! I am holding on to your promise of Peaceful Sobriety Island for dear life. Squizzi’s triathlon analogy is a good one, I can relate to that. Doesn’t make me any less grumpy though! Arrgggghhhhhh……And I HATE (dislike that word immensely) being NEGATIVE!

    • Alongtimeoverdue 4 years ago

      I sound like grumpy Smurf. Sometimes I feel like murderous Smurf. I am waiting for my husband to shove a bottle in my hand and say ‘drink this’, we want the nice version back. Thankfully, I think he is cut off the same brush as Mr D and will ride this rollercoaster out with me. I might cause him to drink more at this rate! Might keep the image of hungover to buggery Smurf in mind, and the pretty picture of Smurfette as my goal.

    • Alongtimeoverdue 4 years ago

      Thank you Nugget.x

    • Nugget 4 years ago

      Hey there Alongtimeoverdue – I hear and feel your grumpiness, and it is all very justified. For 5 years solid I kept drinking more as life’s incidences kept piling up upon me, one after the other. The booze numbed the pain, but it never got rid of the problem, and the problems just got worse. And as Mrs D has said, we will, and do still have bad days, the upside of not drinking is a lot more positive. Over the last 58 days I think my body has thrown every medical condition at me that it could, I didn’t have any problems when I was drinking. But the words of people here and others have shown me the hard work is worth it.
      Keep being strong and everyone here is here to catch ya if ya stumble and need support. God knows they have done that for me. 🙂

  46. Colourful1 4 years ago

    I am wading my way on over to you all – can see you waving!!

    • Squizzi 4 years ago

      Hey Colourful1 Me too! I’m right behind you with a rope attached to you and a buoy to throw out to those that are oh so close, but are severely dehydrated and worrying that The Island is a hallucination. Its not! Its not! Just get on over here so we can all pull together and haul in the others!!

  47. Nugget 4 years ago

    I am finding that stopping and remembering the positives are helping today. I do feel calmer, and although I tossed and turned all night last night, I am sitting here now happy that I was sober @ 10.30pm last night when my teenage daughter got home. It was a lot better to chat about her friends, boys and late night train trips home in a sober state than make no sense while boozed (although I may have used to of thought I was giving fantastic advise at the time). And now I think of it, I would also have been able to drive and pick her up from town had she needed me. Today is good.. it does ring true when Mrs D and others say, just give it time, tomorrow is another day, thanks for teh support.. 🙂

    • Squizzi 4 years ago

      I know Nugget! How great is that having honest supportive genuine conversations with our teenage impressionable children! And to be able to drive! I was called out twice in my first sober weekend totally unplanned and I was so proud of myself being able to say “yes of course I’ll come!” Just because they aren’t babies doesn’t mean our parenting duties are over!

  48. Foreverfree 4 years ago

    Hi folks This is my day 4 I proudly say! So far so good. Although, tomorrow night going out for dinner with the hub. He is allowed to have his wine as he behaves himself. But I, no no no no!!!!! Last night I did have the feeling, however, that it was so bloody ‘UNFAIR”. I did feel resentful. I am starting to wade out through the mud. Not a very good swimmer though! So, thank you MRS D for that awesome post today. Good Luck everyone and keep going!! X

  49. Squizzi 4 years ago

    Love that metaphor – what I love most about you Mrs D is that you are putting the right words/phrases in our heads and replacing all the toxic, manipulative ones that years of advertising bombardment, culture and peer pressure have skilfully produced.

    It is so clear the way you describe it – it enables us to visualise it. I have just arrived on The Island and a very new resident so looking both excited about sharing my new location with you all and simultaneously looking back at those of you still on the cliff or on their way to us through the mud, knowing exactly the emotional roller coaster ride you are on.

    But think of it as triathalon, all your previous attempts and scaling down that cliff and sludging across the swamp to get to The Island, are your TRAINING sessions (no-one starts out training and does a full triathalon on their first attempt now do they???) and every time you train you learn something new and improve your technique slightly and then when you know in your heart you are ready – off you go and with the right support crew, preparation and equipment – you will get there.

    After a bit the adrenalin will kick in and push you over that finish line and “wala” – we will have a wreath of flowers and dancing hula girls waiting for you with a refreshing decorated mocktail ready to welcome you.

  50. mrsmorrison 4 years ago

    Very muddy round here this morning. Little M decided it was time to read books and have her bottle at 2.45am (WTF???), only drifting back off at 5.00am. My victory lap around the bedroom last night (going to bed sober again) was frankly lack-lustre, and as a result, we’re all tears, and scratchy eyeballs and hormones at home today. Gloop, gloop…

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