No, not the TV show - the one in your head trying to convince you to drink. The one that whispers sweet nothings when you're vulnerable and promises alcohol will make things better. The one that tells you you're boring for not drinking, that everyone is judging you, that everyone else is having a Great Fun Time! while you are a sad sober loser.
That nasty, lying, conniving voice. Your inner addict. The part of your brain that wants you to keep imbibing alcohol to feed the addiction. Wolfie. The Wine Witch. The Beast. IT. Trevor. Whatever you want to call it, however you want to look at it, it's your inner addict.
I believe that recognising that voice for what it, addictive thoughts and not the truth, facing it head on and challenging it's authority, is key to a happy sobriety. And one way to do that is to tell on it. Talk about it, write about it, reveal out loud what it is saying. Don't let it whisper sweet nothing in your ear that go unheard - shout it from the rooftops! And in doing so you will remove some of its power.
My voice would repeat lots of useless, bullshit, manipulative lies. It would say to me, "Go on, it's only wine", "Everyone drinks, so should you", "You deserve it", "You don't really have a problem anyway", "Life's short", "One won't hurt!" and so on and so on and so on.
I remember early on when I was getting sober saying out loud to Mr D for the first time that I had a voice in my head trying to convince me to drink. I remember at the time how strange the words sounded coming out of my mouth, but also how truthful it was and how much talking about it helped take some of the power of the thoughts away. Then I wrote about it in my original blog (here) and a reader commented and said "Yay for you! In Rational Recovery what you did is called addictive voice recognition technique." I went straight away and researched all about this and felt even more prepared to fight that little fucker when it started piping up in my brain. (The Rational Recovery website is here.)
Addiction Nurse Steph also spoke about the Addictive Voice in her interview and included a really helpful website link all about it in which you can see near the bottom of her post.
Members here often talk about their inner addictive voices. This is from the Members Feed recently: "I loath my inner booze voice as it has had the upper hand for far too long. So I am dishing some medicine back at IT breaking IT down to manageable back round noise. I have had long discussions with IT and cannot trust IT as far as I can kick IT. It's a war between IT and me and this time I am gonna take the high ground." Yes!!!!
Now it's your turn. What about your addictive voice? What is your Inner Addict whispering to you? Tell us! I promise - doing so will take some of it's power away. That voice in your head that is trying to convince you to drink, what does it say?