Sobriety is…

woman in mirror

Boozing is living a wild, crazy, blurry, detached and numbed-out life that is sometimes fun and sometimes sad and sometimes downright miserable (when you get to where I was with my boozing).

Sobriety is not. Sobriety is not grand gestures and exciting developments. Sobriety is all the little things.

It's the lovely conversations at the end of a party, the quiet cosy conversations that are real and memorable.

It's getting up at 11pm to rub a sick child's back and feeing so grateful to be fully alert.

It's the delight in an empty recycling bin.

It's driving home at midnight. I love driving home in the dark so much.

It's hearing people talk about their own struggles and not inwardly running a mile, but listening, really listening.

It's that beautiful moment after you've stared down a pang and resisted the urge to drink, it's gone away and you realise it was lying to you and you didn't want/need/deserve the drink after all. That is a truly beautiful sober moment.

It's waiting, waiting for bad moods to pass, waiting for glum phases to end, waiting for the light to return. Knowing that it always does.

It's really appreciating a hot cup of tea, really appreciating each and every sip. Or really appreciating a small sweet square of chocolate as it melts in your mouth.

It's looking in the mirror and knowing that whatever is looking back at you is real, not some blurry distant mirage.

It's just the underlying beauty in the knowledge that you are sober. You are not drunk any more, you are sober.

That's what sobriety truly is. It's that little gold nugget of truth that you tuck away inside and nurture.

I am not drunk any more. I am sober.

Love, Mrs D xxx

12 Comments
  1. Steve M 1 month ago

    Soooo true! Especially this….It’s waiting, waiting for bad moods to pass, waiting for glum phases to end, waiting for the light to return. Knowing that it always does. I put this together and use whatever proceeds to buy more books and ship to rehabs across the country. Anybody in recovery will identify and enjoy this simple, profound, funny, helpful, book with 368 quotes, quips, anecdotes and suggestions from and for those of us in recovery from alcoholism and substance abuse. Thanks for blogging and thanks for helping us continue with our primary purpose. Keep writing! Best, Steve https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09BCG67JK/

  2. Claire 3 months ago

    I am 2 weeks sober and finding that not waking up with a headache is just totally wonderful. As you say it truly is about the little things x

  3. Slick 3 months ago

    I’ve recently discovered the joy of driving home at midnight, usually there are no cars and I love the quiet, the silhouette of the trees, the moon if it’s clear- it’s like a brand new world I’m living in.

  4. Starlight 3 months ago

    I just finished Wine O’clock Myth and read this at the very end. Beautifully written & so damn spot on!

  5. erumble 3 months ago

    Thank you for that.

  6. Lassie 3 months ago

    I so get this, I lent my daughter my car and didn’t have to panic that there would be empty bottles in the boot she might find…..

    • Slick 3 months ago

      This hit a nerve, that was me too @lassie.

  7. Mattie 3 months ago

    Love this x

  8. freedom1025 3 months ago

    Spot on, every single word. xoxo

  9. Daisy70 3 months ago

    Yes Thank you. It’s all that and… not being afraid… of what I said, not being afraid of the image I projected, not being afraid of having said too much or not enough… of having lost a beautiful opportunity to connect with somebody dear to me. I’m not afraid anymore and this is such a big part of my appreciation of being sober. Thank you Mrs D. For having been part of starting the ball of sobriety rolling for me. This is HUGE.

  10. ojala 3 months ago

    It’s all about the little things! Those are the really big things!

  11. Private 3 months ago

    So beautifully true, thanks Mrs D

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