They are hard. I hate to have to admit that because they are also fun and wonderful.. but on another level they are hard work.
We give up booze, we set ourselves targets, we work towards them, we count the days, the weeks, the months, then we hit a big Soberversary and we want to ‘celebrate’ but our old hard-wired ‘celebrations’ techniques aren’t in use.. and really all we are ‘celebrating’ is an ongoing raw sober life… and so we find ourselves feeling proud but also strangely a bit flat.
We want a big release but the release doesn’t come because we are still working on dealing with life in the raw. We are still facing every single day, trial & tribulation with a wide open (sober) brain.
The truth is soberversaries are a bit of a downer as well as being a big upper as well.
Lots of members here at Living Sober are hitting nice big milestones right about how and are happy and proud yet many are strangely struggling a bit as well.
Personally I think the one-year soberversary is particularly hard. Yes WOW! – you have made it through 12 long months with no alcohol. You have beaten numerous cravings, navigated your way through many social situations, lurched your way through many emotional states and PHEW!… now you are here. One whole year – woo hoo!
Um. Now what…?
Truth is while in one sense one year is fucking amaze-balls fantastic, in another sense it’s actually relatively speaking quite a short stretch of sober time. If you are like me and spent 20+ years drinking alcohol steadily and heavily.. one year without that liquid drug isn’t very long. Read back over some of the Sober Stories I’ve been posting lately – often these long-timers say it takes a good 2-3 years before everything starts to calm down. I know that is a bummer, but maybe it’s just best to think of this as a long game – a marathon not a sprint – and be prepared to feel a bit let down as the first big soberversaries slide by.
That is NOT to say that you shouldn’t shout your own praises from the rooftops!! Nor that you shouldn’t go out and buy yourself a BIG FAT SOBER TREAT!!! Nor that you shouldn’t feel quietly extremely pleased and proud of yourself.
I have said it a million times before and I will say it again. Anyone who digs deep and works hard to kick shit booze to the curb is BRAVE and AMAZING.
And really – forget soberversaries. Every sober day is a day to celebrate.
Love, Mrs D xxx