Sober Treats

These are the little things that get us through the flat times. They may seem small but are very important and hugely powerful.

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263 Comments
  1. dorothyparker 1 month ago

    Sober Treats:
    Walking, listening to podcasts, lying in the sun, going to exhibitions, starting a craft project, going for a run, going to a gym class that I actually enjoy, going for a coffee by myself, going to a movie by myself, dinner with a friend, brunch, reading a book in bed with a dog or cat, baking something and giving it away, sending someone an email to tell them you are grateful for something they’ve done, being generous online to a good cause, not being a dick to another driver when they have done something thoughtless, flowers, a divine smelling candle that you light just for yourself, a bath at night, being in water generally, digging your toes into warm sand, looking into the eyes of a person you love, having friends over for dinner and not checking out mentally after a few drinks, sorbet, sober gigs, unexpected free concerts in parks, the knowledge that summer is coming.

  2. Lorna79 3 months ago

    Day 22 and I now have a giant lolly/choc glass jar by my bedside (it used to be in the lounge on the coffee table) this jar is re-filled now every 3 days – so I’ve replaced bottles of wine with chocolate; candy; bakery goodies like choc eclairs, pies, quiches; tea; coffee; milo … and with that follows walks! To get rid of this new weight I am gaining lol

    Keeping constantly occupied even if its constantly cleaning; tidying; grocery shopping; catching up with sober friends; chatting online with supportive family/friends who know I had a problem but am trying so so hard to change my lifestyle for the better. Being CREATIVE again is massive, picking up a pencil and paper and sketching; painting; designing things. Anything to keep my hands and mind occupied from the liquor store that is literally across the road from my house! hehe. The struggle is real but worth it.

    • Anonymous 2 weeks ago

      Great post. 100 days into being sober and have to do the same thing. Keep busy, busy, busy. Am now trying to ween off the treats to replace the alcohol.

    • Sansa 2 months ago

      I love this post. Thank you!

    • E S BARNETT 3 months ago

      Eventually the liqour store will not even bother you. Congrats. you are doing everything right!!!

      • BrianM 3 months ago

        I woke up this morning after a night of total drunkenness. It has been a plan of mine for a while now but today I have decided that I’m giving up alcohol as it is a huge problem.

  3. patish 4 months ago

    I’ve stopped drinking
    I’m on day 7
    So far have no desire.
    I’m very proud of myself.

  4. Nemo 5 months ago

    Day 29 for me. I find myself really agitated and irritable on the weekends? Anybody else feel this way? I’m really happy I’ve made this decision and I’m able to control my cravings. Soda water and Netflix help, lol!! Just wish I didn’t feel so cross..

    • Maxx 3 months ago

      Well done keep it up.Yes I find weekends hardest but only through having more time to think too hard about what I have given up.I get a little tense and try and be present in the moment and resort to a plan to distract myself.For me that usually involves going fishing or jumping on my MTB really helps.Good on you for 29 days you are well on the way

    • connilynn 4 months ago

      The ONLY thing I’ve found that helps when the irritability rears up is getting outside and walking or running.

  5. Chii 11 months ago

    I look at alcohol as a live entity, a demon so to speak.
    And I’ll be damned if that “demon” will beat me!
    Oh he’s good…..he tries to entice me, he whispers “just one glass….what’s it gonna hurt”.

    I take it minute by minute, if I have to.
    When the “demon” whispers, I go for a walk or I read, or take a relaxing bath and the whispers just fade away.

  6. Anonymous 12 months ago

    Day 2 for me. Find these days easy while hubby at work. Already dreading him being home as for some reason it’s my number one excuse to drink?? He does enable me, but I bully him into it and make him drink with me. Been like this our entire marriage except for three months I stopped drinking because I overdosed on pills, enough to give me a fright to not drink for 3 months. That was 10years ago and back on the bottle. So last night I found this site and read the fast forwards, I found these gave me strength to stay sober, will keep reading them and pray I get through this shit roller coaster.

  7. Ninjamedic 12 months ago

    OMG me too! Bloody shattered. And had headaches! So glad I found this forum!

  8. Bravo 12 months ago

    Week 2 plus 1 day under my belt. Feeling strong but I’ve been having headaches. I bought some chocolate covered coffee beans to have in a pinch.

  9. Anonymous 1 year ago

    i think you may have helped me. i want this too. thankyou

  10. Soberkiwi 1 year ago

    ..I actually take myself off to the local cinema…grab a coffee and packet of sweets and the movie totally distracts me….by the time I come out I have forgotten I wanted a drink…

    • whichisnice 6 months ago

      Great idea!

  11. Poppy88 1 year ago

    Yes! I was!! I googled it and everything. It went away about 8 weeks in. Glad you posted that. Being full of energy def did not happen over night. Happy day 🙂

  12. Anonymous 1 year ago

    Was anyone else SUPER tired after stopping drinking? It’s been a little over a month and I have NO energy ☹️

    • gilligan5323 11 months ago

      Yes. I posted on this earlier. Always in the afternoon. Right now I am going with it and resting when my body says so. I also get up pretty early so that might be why I need a break in the afternoon. I am giving myself permission to rest as needed.

    • pinkcloud 1 year ago

      Yes. I am really tired. Am on day 14 and am really shattered by the evening time. Another poster said tiredness often the case when going AF but I’m not sure of the logic behind it

  13. Gabbie 1 year ago

    I’ve found juicing adding goodies like grapefruit, ginger and tumeric gives me the taste sensation of the sour cocktails I use to favor but with the added bliss of being really great for me

  14. NotToday 1 year ago

    AF Fizz in a beautiful glass is great for me. Let’s me ‘indulge’ my old habit and the feeling of being sober, knowing I won’t have a hangover is just priceless.
    Also the usual bubble baths, scented anything, popcorn, engrossing book or TV drama helps. The best thing recently is my new onesie. It’s teddy bear fur and even has a hood with ears! I call it my SoberSuit and feel safe in it. Like Superman’s cape, my SoberSuit gives me the superpower of not needing alcohol. Pity I can’t wear it to the pub.

    • MaryH 9 months ago

      This is such a great idea! It made me smile. Now that I’ve been alcohol free for almost a month, I’ve Noticed that I’ve substituted my craving for a glass of wine at the end of a long day to looking forward to washing my face and putting on my PJ’s – similar in a way to your sobersuit. It’s simple, but it’s become nice relaxing ritual. I may need to get my own version of the sobersuit. 🙂

    • Seabass 11 months ago

      You’re awesome. I love the bear suit : )

  15. Jo 1 year ago

    31 days is amazing! This place is great to visit. But yeah it is hard. At around day 31 I was doing a lot of mind gaming with myself. Got through it though. A lot of deep breathing is required at times!! And reading everything I can!! Augusten Burroughs ‘Dry’ is a good book. Stories and thoughts and experiences in this website also resonate very strongly with me. I hope you find comfort and that the hard days get easier 🙂 keep coming here!! Happy sober day 🙂

  16. Anonymous 1 year ago

    I am on day 31 and it is hard and lonely.

    • cathb 5 months ago

      How are you getting on? I feel the same and I’m nine months sober

    • anon2790 1 year ago

      good on you though friend I feel the same way.. Be strong. I am scared to death about what I should do when all my friends party and drink and I know I cannot join them, at this stage I simply cannot I would not have the strength to say no but i find calling other friends or family help alot

  17. Chris 1 year ago

    Going to give this a shot day 1 Wish me luck.

    • Ineedachange 5 months ago

      Me too, day one for me also. We are going to bloody ace it!

  18. Todd 1 year ago

    I have drank away a lot of years too, and happy to say I am more present now, both with my girls and my wife. I’m more engaged around the home and there aren’t any more pointless arguments, no more feelings of guilt, and everything feels balanced and calm…

  19. Todd 1 year ago

    I am 22 days in. So much more balanced. More energy!!! Eating better. Exercising…sneaky thoughts creep in, but I keep busy and the thoughts pass…

  20. Sal07 1 year ago

    Day 32. Feeling like this not drinking is almost starting to feel a little bit like a new normal, but I have to be so careful not to let the sneaky wine thoughts get in. A couple of times in the last couple of days I’ve suddenly been hit by one out of the blue, like opening the fridge and there’s a bottle of wine there and almost just grabbing it without even thinking. Scary. Reminders of some of the good things about not drinking:
    1. Waking up clearheaded day after day
    2. Saving money
    3. Skin looking better
    4. Feeling calmer
    5. Not feeling guilty about drinking too much the night before
    6. Feeling more balanced

    All good stuff and so worth being vigilant about. Good thoughts to everyone out there – stay strong with it 🙂

    • Nowlearnon 1 year ago

      Thanks for reminding me how, brilliant it is to be sober.

    • Jasmaine 1 year ago

      I love your reminders…….I can relate entirely…thank you

  21. Agirl 1 year ago

    Happy Day 8 to me!!! The first day 8 for about 17 years. I am pleased with myself. And so angry that I drank away my children’s childhood. So pathetic and so selfish. Nearly drank away my marriage. Strangely my children are fabulous young people and my marriage is in tact.
    It’s been a tough week in that I have lost my job. It’s been completely overshadowed by my joy in being sober. Job schmob. It’s more like a change in opportunity than a job loss really, so I just need to get off my chuff and make the most.

    • Snaggletooth 1 year ago

      Well done for 8 days, onwards and upwards. Your attitude is wonderful, with an outlook like that the sky’s the limit! Keep us posted.

    • ECD66 1 year ago

      Well done on Day 8 and an outstanding attitude!!

  22. Alopeciaprincess 1 year ago

    A Kindle has been a life saver for me so far. Book after book!

  23. Sobergirl104 1 year ago

    Hi. Just tryi g to find some friends to be my sober support.

    • Alopeciaprincess 1 year ago

      Where are you located? Hang in there!

  24. annemarie haggarty 2 years ago

    Where do you get relax deck can I ask plze ??

  25. Franny 2 years ago

    I’m off to the bridge programme. Anyone got any positive comments????

    • behind-the-sofa 2 years ago

      Hi Franny, I wish you well, try posting that comment in the members feed (click the little tab with the three lines on at the top right corner of the page) and you should get a few replies 🙂

  26. AubreyMichelle 2 years ago

    Falling asleep at night next to my partner not ashamed of my wine breath. Waking up every day feeling clean in my skin, waking up and my first thought being, “I’m sober, not hungover!!” I’ve got a pair of shoes waiting for me if I finish the week, a couple Victoria’s Secret items at the end of the month, and new camping gear for some TBD date. The satisfaction of knowing I’ll be able to exercise more regularly again now that I’m not hungover every single day–I want to be able to jog all the way up my hill without stopping. The anticipatory pride of knowing I’ll be able to look back and say FINALLY I DID IT! And when stress comes along: Tension Tamer and Stress Relief teas, CBD oil, deep breathing, mindfulness, perfume samples, lavender anything, gratitude exercises, getting outside, gardening, and actually listening to my body and sleeping when I need to all help tremendously.

    Plus (and this may be somewhat of a bass-ackward treat, but I’ll take what I can get…) I hate pickles. While cancer, cirrhosis, and DUIs are all of the “maybe possibly doubtfully someday” kind of consequences, I know with a visceral and immediate and utter certainty that here and now, in this moment, I loathe and detest even the thought of going anywhere near a pickle. So: I have promised my partner I will eat a pickle before I have another drink. And I have given him permission to pour pickle juice in said drink should I ever pour one for myself. Just the relief I feel from avoiding that fate feels like a sober treat, lol!!

  27. Anonymous 2 years ago

    I was bad about driving while drinking. I couldnt drink at home. I dont want to get stopped, arrested, hurt someone, fines$, or get paralyzed (plus my husband will disable my car and then,to go anywhere, he has to take me. Eat some candy or nuts (cashews, pistachios) or something. Are you bored? Think of something you want to do

  28. Emptynest 2 years ago

    4 days today, feeling so proud , kindle books are my treat of choice at the mo .

  29. Jus072 2 years ago

    5 months today! online shopping treats for me… sounds trite but I love a lipstick! So purchased a beautiful red shade of MAC. looking better and feeling better about myself has been such a bonus when kicking the grog.

  30. JeanetteQ 2 years ago

    I am enjoying some simple things that are gratifying and don’t cost too much. A hot bath is almost instantly a fix for over thinking and aches and pains. A good herbal tea at night or green tea during the day. First cup of coffee in the morning is sooo wonderful. Homemade popcorn with real butter. A walk to enjoy nature and the sound of the birds. Loving my pets. Working on my business. Sitting in bed and watching ASMR. 🙂

    • Cranberry 2 years ago

      @jeanetteq I went with your buttered popcorn idea last night. I sat in my big armchair with a big bowl of it in my lap, in front of the fire, nibbling and sipping on a really realistic no-alcohol beer. I was happy. I’ll be doing that again. Thanks!

      • JBanne21 1 year ago

        Need to go buy some kernels and butter!

  31. Anonymous 2 years ago

    I pick, at random, a card from my “RELAX Deck. Look at the picture on 1 side – analyze it. And then read the Title and words written for the picture on the other side of each card. Today I looked again at a card I have stuck in my mirror. The Mask….it asks you to draw a mask of the authentic you. Art feeds my mind, heart & soul…in process of designing my authentic mask now. Very soothing and meditative. Relieves my mind and trains my brain to think good thoughts so I DO RELAX!!!

    • NotToday 1 year ago

      I love the idea of your Relax Deck. Did you make this yourself? I think even just the act of putting the deck together would be very therapeutic, so I’m going to try this. Thanks and good luck to you.

  32. choosehappy 2 years ago

    sometimes, i just “sit in my stuff.” it is uncomfortable i wont lie. and i talk to the wine. i tell it. “no, you didnt solve all my problems. you only created more. no you werent my best friend. you are my enemy. no you didnt make my life easier. you stirred up trouble. no you are not going to take me down. i am going to lay you down. its a battle and i want to win.

  33. Marsha 2 years ago

    Just starting day 2, having found this website, I am feeling positive. That’s a great idea about the beads. I am going to try something similar. I am going to buy a nice glass vase and a bag of pretty coloured glass stones, and each day ,I don’t drink, I wii add a stone to the vase. I will place it in a place where I can see it, from the chair I sit in at night and drink. A visual reminder of each daily achievement.

    • Cranberry 2 years ago

      I love this idea! Thanks for suggesting it. I’ve got some stickers I was going to stick on my calendar for each day alcohol-free but I like the idea of having a vase out in the open in the house, but having it be my secret what the little stones signify.

      • Bijou 1 year ago

        I’m going to do this too!!! I have a really nice chunky glass vase that’ll do the job perfectly! Thanks Marsha 🙂

  34. Belladonna 2 years ago

    I love this idea..im going to do it too

  35. saski 2 years ago

    totally agree. so ncoew to start getting back into it after only 5 days drink free

  36. cassie 2 years ago

    I do yoga now! When I go to bed sans booze I can wake up with the energy, free time and (sometimes) motivation to set aside an hour for myself to practice yoga. It’s truly just for me: I light incense, play some blues or jazzy tunes and get to be alone with my thoughts for an hour.

    Plus, I can have the occasional chocolate something or other and not feel guilty.

    Xoxo

  37. Clear 2 years ago

    Hi all, talking self care here this is a post about colonic irrigation for anyone who has wondered about it, and the benefits. Like many my partner seems to find the topic schoolboy-level amusing however i take my colonic health seriously! For me it’s a sober treat and it’s kind of like a spa treatment. i have had several sessions and will have more, as a cluster of treatments is recommended when you first start. it’s likely you have a lot of cleansing to do if like me you are in your forties, whether you are a boozer or not it’s likely that by now you have A LOT of waste sitting around in your gut.
    The colonic therapist explained that (it is her belief that) we carry traumas and our experiences in our physical bodies, not just in our heads and this can manifest in inflammation, discomfort and tension. Our lower intestine (bowel) can stop working effectively and the waste ends up bulging out into pockets of the bowel wall and just festering there. Even if you keep regularly (or not so regularly) eliminating waste, the old stuff still sits there as a toxic masses or blockages and can leak back into the body, making you feel crappy (he he) or actually ill.
    I also heard Laura McKowen http://www.lauramckowen.com/ talking to Andrea Owen http://yourkickasslife.com/ on one of her podcasts and she believes as do others that we ‘carry our issues in our tissues’, and this is precisely one of the reasons why yoga is so beneficial to mental recovery as well as physical. stretching and movement helps our bodies to release the toxins and chemicals that have been released during trauma (or our everyday drama) and hang around in our bodies. Sounds good to me! Also, boozing dehydrates you as we know so that does not help with keeping your beautiful intestine moving things along smoothly.
    After maybe 4 sessions a couple of weeks apart I felt a lot better ie not so bloated, my stomach and abdomen are looking more like they were pre-pregnancy and i’m feeling good about myself. The most recent session released a LOAD of toxic waste and I felt a big improvement to the bloat. My therapist put her hands on my abdomen when I first went along and said ‘wow you are really bloated’. I was like, am I?? I had basically just got used to feeling like that! Now clothes are fitting much better and I feel lighter and healthier. The actual mechanism is completely enclosed, no mess, it’s not gross. the therapist massages your abdomen during the treatment, you can see what is being eliminated through some clear pipes on the machine if you want – fascinating! that’s the best bit, seeing all the toxic waste going out of your precious body! So I would recommend it as a part of the detox picture.

  38. Shebe 2 years ago

    I get my nails done or read a book or pour my heart into my family, housework and work. Anything to keep my mind busy.

  39. Clare 3 years ago

    I’m loving buying new clothes,fresh flowers ,scented candles,good books-clever thrillers,going to the movies,getting massages,& delicious hot baths .

  40. Anonymous 3 years ago

    I’m new here and grateful for all of you as i thought i was alone. I haven’t quit yet but have cut back and i’m planning the “great escape” for the 4th time. I’m a woman, a mother, a wife, and a closet drunk. No one knows. My family, my friends, my employer. I find it tough when i get home not to drink. I’m chronically bored by nature and think this has been my issue when analysing how i got caught up in this situation. I went most of my life without any alcohol to being a closet drunk the past 8 years. Are there also supplements to help cure this problem? And i heard eating grapes 3 times a day works wonders. Thanks again everyone! Love you all.

    • AubreyMichelle 2 years ago

      How are you doing Anonymous? I tried to cut back dozens of times and it finally got so hard, and I got so tired of disappointing myself, that I finally said F it and quit altogether. Amazingly, it’s been much easier than moderating! Definitely get yourself into some hobbies if you are able–find something that really lights you up inside, something good for yourself or the world that you would do even if no one knew just because it feels good and right. In the meantime, milk thistle is good for your liver, and I have heard kudzu supplements can reduce the cravings. Good luck and I hope you are well!

  41. robynb 3 years ago

    Going to start scheduling regular massage. Can afford since not drinking. Also, since I recklessly wasted a good sum of money playing slot machines..realized could of had a massage daily and a nice shopping spree for myself. When I’ve properly saved back that money..I will do a small version of just that!

  42. Snaphu 3 years ago

    Every morning I wake up and tell myself Iwon’t drink tonight. Then somewhere throughout the day, I find an excuse to not resist that impulse to stop at the store on the way home. There’s a couple beers left in the fridge, still, but trying not to stop on my way home today.

    • Mr.Collins 1 year ago

      I can so relate to that

    • choosehappy 2 years ago

      i found the thought of going the first day without my “best friend” the toughest. i couldnt imagine how i would do it. the thought itself was way worse than doing it. i remembered what a non drinking friend of mine said when i told him i couldnt imagine how id break the habit. he said “just dont buy it and bring it into the house.”. i keep focused on that. i keep many different things in the fridge i CAN drink. i also have “unfriended” my alcohol and remind myself that no matter how innocent it seems, it is NOT my friend. just another bad relationship i have to say NO to.

    • Snaphu 3 years ago

      Ooops, sorry, meant to post this as a daily reflection, wrong section!

      But in the spirit of this thread, I love to cook and finding my interest declining. If I had to start with something to treat myself for not drinking, I think making some very tasty meals would be where I would start.

  43. ChardaNO 3 years ago

    Feeling the need to journal through this af day. Need to post and share. It is only lunchtime. I went for a walk outdoors, but it was overcast and windy so I cut it short. Started a Netflix movie while having a slice of ham, sweet potatoes and field peas for lunch. I’ve cooked a lot the last two days so have plenty of good leftovers. Feeling content so far. Thank goodness the old habit of having wine with an early movie isn’t beckoning right now. It is a vacation day, so will keep you posted.

  44. Lindy 3 years ago

    My main treat is time for me. I too have rediscovered reading and I also try to escape to my room just for ten mins or so and listen to a track I love and just lie and rest.
    Am aware that this is a dangerous time for me. The main festivities are over and I am back to the reality of everyday life and problems.
    Am trying to put things in place to ensure my safety, phone calls, meetings, texts, this site and routine.
    After my relapse am now on day 11 which I am pleased with especially over Christmas was very stressful but I had support from my long suffering family.
    Am making a plan each morning at this time which has helped me focus in the past and seems to be helping me now.
    Would be grateful for any ideas from others.
    New Year to negotiate now. We are staying home and relaxing quietly and watching fireworks at midnight. I don’t want to go out. Have got in lots of interesting soft drinks and no alcohol in the house.
    Happy , Sober New Year to everyone!
    Here’s to a peaceful 2017.
    Lindy x

  45. Lindy 3 years ago

    Am aware that this is a dangerous time for me. The main festivities are over and I am back to the reality of everyday life and problems.
    Am trying to put things in place to ensure my safety, phone calls, meetings, texts, this site and routine.
    After my relapse am now on day 11 which I am pleased with especially over Christmas was very stressful but I had support from my long suffering family.
    Am making a plan each morning at this time which has helped me focus in the past and seems to be helping me now.
    Would be grateful for any ideas from others.
    New Year to negotiate now. We are staying home and relaxing quietly and watching fireworks at midnight. I don’t want to go out.
    Happy , Sober New Year to everyone!
    Here’s to a peaceful 2017.
    Lindy x

  46. FreedomForMe 3 years ago

    I am going to put the money I would have spent on alcohol in a jar. I’m saving for a horse!! I am nearly 43 and have always dreamed of having my own horse. This is the year for it

  47. Lillyby 3 years ago

    Living on my own I was concerned about what I would replace drinking with, particularly with no one “to keep an eye” on me. But for the first time in I don’t know how many years, I have embraced the freedom to drive at night because I’m no longer drunk by 6pm! Now most evenings I drop in on a friend or family, or go to an AA meeting, hang out at the library, catch an evening movie or just drive into the city and take in the city sights and lights. I get such a kick out of being able to leave the house after the sun goes down and it reinforces my pride and commitment to my sobriety!

  48. Robertds 3 years ago

    I am enjoying having clean clothes! And I also am happy to clean them

  49. Jellybaby 3 years ago

    Clean fizz, Kombutcha or clean juice.
    Moore Wilsons have a great range and I have always loved goodbuzz.co.nz

  50. Yogalady 3 years ago

    Day 15 , and I feel strong and dedicated ….I love the way my brain and body get healthier everyday !!

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