Sober Treats

These are the little things we buy and do to treat ourselves and help get us through the flat times. They're hugely important, as each small act of kindness sends an important self-care message - that we're worth treating because what we're doing in quitting booze is heroic and deserves recognition. This Sober Toolbox is a space for sharing sober treat ideas. If you're looking for more discussion, interactions and feedback, head inside our Members Feed. That's where the real-time conversations take place.

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310 Comments
  1. LizzieR 3 weeks ago

    Day 31- I’ve saved over $700 and decided to celebrate with a facial. Heavenly!

  2. LizzieR 3 weeks ago

    Day 31- I’ve saved her $700 and decided to celebrate with a facial. Heavenly!

  3. Mamabear 2 months ago

    My issue is binge drinking. If I dont drink I’m ok, but if I start, I cant go to bed until the drinks are gone. I drink if I am happy, sad or if sun shining. Sometimes I dont want to drink but my husband asks me if I want one and i dont say no as I do want one. I really want to do more in my life.

  4. Cata 4 months ago

    If I have some chocolate in the fridge or cupboard, I can tell myself during the day that if I feel like it’s going to be one of those days where when I get home from work I’m going to want a drink, I can treat myself to chocolate instead. I try to have dark chocolate so it’s not so full of sugar as some days I have chocolate EVERY day. Surprisingly, dark chocolate goes really well with any type of herbal tea so I always make sure I’ve got a selection of teas too.

  5. Beez 5 months ago

    I’m 18 days on my sober journey so far. I sat down and planned treats for myself at milestone markers I’m looking forward to – a massage for 30 days. A facial for 60 days. A weekend aways with my spouse at my 90 day point…which also happens to be our 26th anniversary. Smaller treats I do daily is homemade green juices, a break away to read something inspiring – either on here or on other blogs I follow. Started doing yoga as well which I have really enjoyed.

  6. Anne 6 months ago

    Hi, I’m trying to join up, but at first it kept saying my Usernames were all already used, and now it’s saying my email address is already used…any advice please people?
    Thanks
    Anne

    • Author
      Mrs D 6 months ago

      Hey Anne – have emailed you! Anyone else who needs help drop me a line at admin@livingsober.org.nz x

    • Wingland 6 months ago

      Hi,
      I had the same issue and couldn’t remember registering previously. You’ve managed to post something so perhaps you’ve solved it. Stick with the email and press the forgot my password. Failing that, you may have to call them.

  7. Debsinthegarden 8 months ago

    Watering my garden and just enjoying a gorgeous spring evening with not a breath of wind. I love checking over my veggie garden this time of year to see how everything is growing so well. That beats sitting watching television with a glass of wine.

  8. Jude 9 months ago

    Growing Sunflowers …which I am planning to put in pots on my deck…they will be good reminders to remain sober during those long Summer evenings – where it would be a habit to have a glass of wine in hand

  9. indian2017 10 months ago

    A two hour session with the beauty therapist. Massage and facial. Something I used to think I couldn’t afford, but realised it was way cheaper then drinking. It will be my monthly treat for the hard work and commitment. (When lockdown has finished)🧘🏼‍♀️

  10. mushroom5 11 months ago

    I bought myself a lego kit, I haven’t played with that stuff since I was a kid but I used to love it, its a Landrover Defender with about 3000 pieces and a 500 page instruction book and is really complex. Absolutely perfect for time out to completely switch off from everything and get my mind on something totaly different. It just makes me feel soo good. They recon it takes a kid about 12 hrs to build lol, I think Im probably around +40ish at the moment and Im only 3/4 of the way through…. It doesn’t come out every day, or even every week, just when Im in a space when I need some little me time. Works well!!

    • Cata 4 months ago

      Oh my god, this is epic! What a great idea. I do love a jigsaw puzzle but they take up so much space if it takes days to finish. ‘Grown up’ Lego is definitely going to be a milestone treat for me (I’m on Day 4!)

  11. Esmeralda 11 months ago

    Reading in a bubble bath!

  12. iamkate 1 year ago

    Cookbooks, nice sheets, new socks.

  13. Gill Kenny 1 year ago

    In the early days of my sobriety I bought lots of seeds which I planted in a very mindful way. Slowly I watched the little seedlings emerge which I likened to the real me pushing through the darkness of the soil, seeking the light. Now, two years on, those plants are thriving. I have basil, chilli, mint and thyme plants that keep on giving, not to mention the giant hollyhocks that have already seeded twice and will be planted soon enough. Nature has provided me with the vital ingredients I needed to reconnect with my lost self, and to feel I belong. There is so much healing to be found in nature. I am so grateful. xx

    • Intervale93 10 months ago

      Love this. This year critters ate my garden but I have new barriers to try next Spring. I’ll keep your thoughts in mind when I plant. Thank you.

    • SugarBelly 1 year ago

      Love it.

  14. Francine 1 year ago

    I’m going to buy myself a new sewing machine! Last year during lockdown I hand sewed a cardigan – this winter will be much more productive!

  15. momoftwoboys1219 1 year ago

    Yesterday on Day 2 I ordered Proteau it’s a delicious juice to add to your sparkling water. It helps me feel like I’m having a treat while cooking dinner during the wine-witching hour. Hello Day 3! Yesterday I had moment in the afternoon on my way home from work where I talked myself out of picking up a bottle of wine. My biggest argument is I thought if all of these women can do it so can you.

  16. Felice19 2 years ago

    Sticky date cake with wicked butterscotch icing from a local deli washed down with a lovely cup of herbal tea as an afternoon treat- yum! 🙂

  17. LiveLifeNow 2 years ago

    I bought myself some flowers today while at the shop. I never do that. NEVER. My husband asked who I am? 🙂 It’s the new me…!

    • Daisy70 1 year ago

      Lovely. I do this too. When I was drinking I rarely bought flowers, only on occasions, because I found them too expensive. And I always loved having flowers in the house. Funny thing… wine was never too expensive. Day 113 for me today and now I always have flowers in the house… it’s one of my ways to celebrate my sobriety.

    • Time2BReal 1 year ago

      Inspiring!

    • Sansa 1 year ago

      Love it!

  18. Delaney8 2 years ago

    I stopped drinking over 6 months ago. Instead of wine after work, I stop at a local coffee shop (they have the best coffee I have ever tasted) and get myself a large. I do this everyday, it gives me something to sip on through the evening. I also have a new found love of sweets. Since I am trying to get healthy I try to limit myself to dark chocolate covered raisins, healthy banana, strawberry, chocolate chip muffins (I bake from scratch), sometimes a bowl of frosted flakes. Sometimes it is the little things that get you through each day. I also exercise for at least an hour a day, although exercise doesn’t seem like a treat, I love the fresh air on walks, feeling the sun on my skin, even on the cold days I love to get outside.

  19. Togo 2 years ago

    This is great. I think I will save the money for 30 days and then…. Not Sure! With Covid now it’s almost impossible to do anything that you feel safe doing. Love this idea.

  20. willow1963 2 years ago

    I brought a nice ring to symbolic for 11 days and a nice cosy cardigan for group meetings next week

  21. jlamont 2 years ago

    I brought a Speedy Mando Slicer tonite the price was equivalent to my usual 2 bottles of wine. Patting myself on the back.

  22. @maniainthecity 2 years ago

    Instead of self medicating with a bottle of wine, I book into get deep tissue massage. Really helps with anxiety, tension, stress and I sleep like a baby. The best thing is, I always wake up feeling amazing – which is the best gift I can give myself. My partner is taking me for a fancy lunch tomorrow. He really enjoys the sober version of me, less agitated and present. I like this version of me too.

    I would really love to invest in a spa pool one day 🙂

    • Agirl 2 years ago

      Great idea with the massage! It’s so lovely that your partner prefers you sober. What a guy 🙂

  23. Lostkiwi 3 years ago

    Every 2nd day i have been treating myself to a sauna which has helped heaps to help detox 🙂

    • Danne 2 years ago

      A lovely relaxing healthy treat 🙂 Do you have one at home?

  24. FeeFeeTrixabel 3 years ago

    Just bought a pandora charm for my first month sober. I’m going to buy myself a charm for each month of sobriety, and when I’ve collected 12 charms, I’ll buy another bracelet (still a lot cheaper than wine)

    • KJMB 2 years ago

      That is fantastic, go you 🙂

    • Louie 2 years ago

      What a cool idea! Thanks for sharing 🙂

  25. pathappy 3 years ago

    One month without a drink. I feel really great about it and to celebrate I bought a gorgeous dress…
    Only disappointment that my husband doesn’t think I have achieved something. He thinks my drinking habits were not too bad and moderation should be enough.. but I am not doing it for him or someone else. I know I have a massive problem and I will do it for myself and the sake of my children.

    • SarahD 2 years ago

      Well done. Be proud of yourself and don’t let others get you down xx

    • CouldntFindAUniqueUsername 2 years ago

      That must be disappointing for you. Hopefully in the long term he will realise how wonderful the non-drinking you is and encourage you to stick with it. And you are going to be modeling much healthier life choices for your children. Enjoy your dress!!!

    • Alice70 2 years ago

      Congratulations! I too have some people in my life who think moderation should be enough. They think they are being supportive when they say that, but I a have allowed those comments to undermine me in the past.

    • anonymous 2 years ago

      It’s really strange and difficult when the people around you insist that you don’t have a problem when you know that you do…

    • Picklepod 3 years ago

      Good on you! You’re treating your success the way you should- feel proud of staying true to yourself and your goals!

    • Sharon123 3 years ago

      Well done. Congratulations.

  26. dorothyparker 3 years ago

    Sober Treats:
    Walking, listening to podcasts, lying in the sun, going to exhibitions, starting a craft project, going for a run, going to a gym class that I actually enjoy, going for a coffee by myself, going to a movie by myself, dinner with a friend, brunch, reading a book in bed with a dog or cat, baking something and giving it away, sending someone an email to tell them you are grateful for something they’ve done, being generous online to a good cause, not being a dick to another driver when they have done something thoughtless, flowers, a divine smelling candle that you light just for yourself, a bath at night, being in water generally, digging your toes into warm sand, looking into the eyes of a person you love, having friends over for dinner and not checking out mentally after a few drinks, sorbet, sober gigs, unexpected free concerts in parks, the knowledge that summer is coming.

  27. Lorna79 3 years ago

    Day 22 and I now have a giant lolly/choc glass jar by my bedside (it used to be in the lounge on the coffee table) this jar is re-filled now every 3 days – so I’ve replaced bottles of wine with chocolate; candy; bakery goodies like choc eclairs, pies, quiches; tea; coffee; milo … and with that follows walks! To get rid of this new weight I am gaining lol

    Keeping constantly occupied even if its constantly cleaning; tidying; grocery shopping; catching up with sober friends; chatting online with supportive family/friends who know I had a problem but am trying so so hard to change my lifestyle for the better. Being CREATIVE again is massive, picking up a pencil and paper and sketching; painting; designing things. Anything to keep my hands and mind occupied from the liquor store that is literally across the road from my house! hehe. The struggle is real but worth it.

    • Anonymous 3 years ago

      Great post. 100 days into being sober and have to do the same thing. Keep busy, busy, busy. Am now trying to ween off the treats to replace the alcohol.

    • Sansa 3 years ago

      I love this post. Thank you!

    • E S BARNETT 3 years ago

      Eventually the liqour store will not even bother you. Congrats. you are doing everything right!!!

      • BrianM 3 years ago

        I woke up this morning after a night of total drunkenness. It has been a plan of mine for a while now but today I have decided that I’m giving up alcohol as it is a huge problem.

  28. patish 3 years ago

    I’ve stopped drinking
    I’m on day 7
    So far have no desire.
    I’m very proud of myself.

    • AllesNeu 3 years ago

      Beautiful. Simple. Know I envy you, but maybe soon, I can say I did that, too. 🙂

  29. Nemo 3 years ago

    Day 29 for me. I find myself really agitated and irritable on the weekends? Anybody else feel this way? I’m really happy I’ve made this decision and I’m able to control my cravings. Soda water and Netflix help, lol!! Just wish I didn’t feel so cross..

    • Maxx 3 years ago

      Well done keep it up.Yes I find weekends hardest but only through having more time to think too hard about what I have given up.I get a little tense and try and be present in the moment and resort to a plan to distract myself.For me that usually involves going fishing or jumping on my MTB really helps.Good on you for 29 days you are well on the way

    • connilynn 3 years ago

      The ONLY thing I’ve found that helps when the irritability rears up is getting outside and walking or running.

  30. Chii 4 years ago

    I look at alcohol as a live entity, a demon so to speak.
    And I’ll be damned if that “demon” will beat me!
    Oh he’s good…..he tries to entice me, he whispers “just one glass….what’s it gonna hurt”.

    I take it minute by minute, if I have to.
    When the “demon” whispers, I go for a walk or I read, or take a relaxing bath and the whispers just fade away.

  31. Anonymous 4 years ago

    Day 2 for me. Find these days easy while hubby at work. Already dreading him being home as for some reason it’s my number one excuse to drink?? He does enable me, but I bully him into it and make him drink with me. Been like this our entire marriage except for three months I stopped drinking because I overdosed on pills, enough to give me a fright to not drink for 3 months. That was 10years ago and back on the bottle. So last night I found this site and read the fast forwards, I found these gave me strength to stay sober, will keep reading them and pray I get through this shit roller coaster.

  32. Ninjamedic 4 years ago

    OMG me too! Bloody shattered. And had headaches! So glad I found this forum!

  33. Bravo 4 years ago

    Week 2 plus 1 day under my belt. Feeling strong but I’ve been having headaches. I bought some chocolate covered coffee beans to have in a pinch.

  34. Anonymous 4 years ago

    i think you may have helped me. i want this too. thankyou

  35. Soberkiwi 4 years ago

    ..I actually take myself off to the local cinema…grab a coffee and packet of sweets and the movie totally distracts me….by the time I come out I have forgotten I wanted a drink…

    • whichisnice 3 years ago

      Great idea!

  36. Poppy88 4 years ago

    Yes! I was!! I googled it and everything. It went away about 8 weeks in. Glad you posted that. Being full of energy def did not happen over night. Happy day 🙂

  37. Anonymous 4 years ago

    Was anyone else SUPER tired after stopping drinking? It’s been a little over a month and I have NO energy ☹️

    • gilligan5323 4 years ago

      Yes. I posted on this earlier. Always in the afternoon. Right now I am going with it and resting when my body says so. I also get up pretty early so that might be why I need a break in the afternoon. I am giving myself permission to rest as needed.

    • pinkcloud 4 years ago

      Yes. I am really tired. Am on day 14 and am really shattered by the evening time. Another poster said tiredness often the case when going AF but I’m not sure of the logic behind it

      • sarahjd1973 3 years ago

        Apparently the reason we can be soooo tired after stopping drinking is because we have had months, years of not sleeping properly when drinking and it can take a month or two to ‘catch up’. I’ve been 36 days sober and the tiredness is only just starting to go away. I just try to go with it and realise my body is still catching up after years of abuse.

  38. Gabbie 4 years ago

    I’ve found juicing adding goodies like grapefruit, ginger and tumeric gives me the taste sensation of the sour cocktails I use to favor but with the added bliss of being really great for me

  39. NotToday 4 years ago

    AF Fizz in a beautiful glass is great for me. Let’s me ‘indulge’ my old habit and the feeling of being sober, knowing I won’t have a hangover is just priceless.
    Also the usual bubble baths, scented anything, popcorn, engrossing book or TV drama helps. The best thing recently is my new onesie. It’s teddy bear fur and even has a hood with ears! I call it my SoberSuit and feel safe in it. Like Superman’s cape, my SoberSuit gives me the superpower of not needing alcohol. Pity I can’t wear it to the pub.

    • MaryH 3 years ago

      This is such a great idea! It made me smile. Now that I’ve been alcohol free for almost a month, I’ve Noticed that I’ve substituted my craving for a glass of wine at the end of a long day to looking forward to washing my face and putting on my PJ’s – similar in a way to your sobersuit. It’s simple, but it’s become nice relaxing ritual. I may need to get my own version of the sobersuit. 🙂

    • Seabass 4 years ago

      You’re awesome. I love the bear suit : )

  40. Jo 4 years ago

    31 days is amazing! This place is great to visit. But yeah it is hard. At around day 31 I was doing a lot of mind gaming with myself. Got through it though. A lot of deep breathing is required at times!! And reading everything I can!! Augusten Burroughs ‘Dry’ is a good book. Stories and thoughts and experiences in this website also resonate very strongly with me. I hope you find comfort and that the hard days get easier 🙂 keep coming here!! Happy sober day 🙂

  41. Anonymous 4 years ago

    I am on day 31 and it is hard and lonely.

    • cathb 3 years ago

      How are you getting on? I feel the same and I’m nine months sober

    • anon2790 4 years ago

      good on you though friend I feel the same way.. Be strong. I am scared to death about what I should do when all my friends party and drink and I know I cannot join them, at this stage I simply cannot I would not have the strength to say no but i find calling other friends or family help alot

  42. Chris 4 years ago

    Going to give this a shot day 1 Wish me luck.

    • Ineedachange 3 years ago

      Me too, day one for me also. We are going to bloody ace it!

  43. Todd 4 years ago

    I have drank away a lot of years too, and happy to say I am more present now, both with my girls and my wife. I’m more engaged around the home and there aren’t any more pointless arguments, no more feelings of guilt, and everything feels balanced and calm…

  44. Todd 4 years ago

    I am 22 days in. So much more balanced. More energy!!! Eating better. Exercising…sneaky thoughts creep in, but I keep busy and the thoughts pass…

  45. Sal07 4 years ago

    Day 32. Feeling like this not drinking is almost starting to feel a little bit like a new normal, but I have to be so careful not to let the sneaky wine thoughts get in. A couple of times in the last couple of days I’ve suddenly been hit by one out of the blue, like opening the fridge and there’s a bottle of wine there and almost just grabbing it without even thinking. Scary. Reminders of some of the good things about not drinking:
    1. Waking up clearheaded day after day
    2. Saving money
    3. Skin looking better
    4. Feeling calmer
    5. Not feeling guilty about drinking too much the night before
    6. Feeling more balanced

    All good stuff and so worth being vigilant about. Good thoughts to everyone out there – stay strong with it 🙂

    • Nowlearnon 4 years ago

      Thanks for reminding me how, brilliant it is to be sober.

    • Jasmaine 4 years ago

      I love your reminders…….I can relate entirely…thank you

  46. Agirl 4 years ago

    Happy Day 8 to me!!! The first day 8 for about 17 years. I am pleased with myself. And so angry that I drank away my children’s childhood. So pathetic and so selfish. Nearly drank away my marriage. Strangely my children are fabulous young people and my marriage is in tact.
    It’s been a tough week in that I have lost my job. It’s been completely overshadowed by my joy in being sober. Job schmob. It’s more like a change in opportunity than a job loss really, so I just need to get off my chuff and make the most.

    • Snaggletooth 4 years ago

      Well done for 8 days, onwards and upwards. Your attitude is wonderful, with an outlook like that the sky’s the limit! Keep us posted.

    • ECD66 4 years ago

      Well done on Day 8 and an outstanding attitude!!

  47. Alopeciaprincess 4 years ago

    A Kindle has been a life saver for me so far. Book after book!

  48. Sobergirl104 4 years ago

    Hi. Just tryi g to find some friends to be my sober support.

    • Alopeciaprincess 4 years ago

      Where are you located? Hang in there!

  49. annemarie haggarty 4 years ago

    Where do you get relax deck can I ask plze ??

  50. Franny 4 years ago

    I’m off to the bridge programme. Anyone got any positive comments????

    • behind-the-sofa 4 years ago

      Hi Franny, I wish you well, try posting that comment in the members feed (click the little tab with the three lines on at the top right corner of the page) and you should get a few replies 🙂

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