Getting through wine o’clock

Late afternoon is often the hardest time to avoid drinking. This Sober Toolbox is a space for sharing tips on how to beat cravings, and for discovering new techniques that have worked for others. If you're looking for more discussion, interactions and feedback, head inside our Members Feed. That's where the real-time conversations take place.

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1,460 Comments
  1. Anonymous 4 years ago

    Got through day 1 yesterday, feeling the immense torture and pain today. Trying to convince myself that I do not need a drink wondering when I lost myself and where I have gone.

  2. JackieH 4 years ago

    Well i guess i can say today is my first day? Mainly because i was on the booze last night. So i eould therefore not drink the next day as i feel too ill. One day Last week and last night scared me. I have started drinking almost 2 bottles of wine. I couldn’t go to work today. I was in panic this morning crying searching for help as I’ve come to realise alcohol has started to control my life. I found this site after texting alcohol and drug addiction helpline. That made me feel so small and helpless. I have connected with a few lovely people on here and am truly grateful. I know it is probably not going to be easy but i will fight this come hell high or low waters.

    • Anonymous 4 years ago

      We can fight it together. I too have started having 2 bottles on a regular basis . I am so pleased I found this site too xx

  3. Anonymous 4 years ago

    Hi AuntBridg
    We made it through day 1 of my many day 1, hope this is the beginning of the last. I slept rough last night sweating, kicking blankets off then hunting for them later in the morning goes on. Today was a testing day for me at work. Manager asks me to clean out the booze fridge at work, get rid of the wines that are 3 years and over. He doesn’t care how I dispose of them just get rid of them. Last week I would have jumped at the chance to take them home, but today nah to hell with it. I will leave them on the bench with a note ” Help yourself”.

  4. Anonymous 4 years ago

    Hi marcy i am day 1 again i fell off the wagon time and time again. I want to stop drinking. Tonight is day 1 i need to keep myself sober for me.

    • AuntBridge 4 years ago

      I’m on day 1 again too – I know how horrible today feels and in my boozer mind i would feel better if I drank. But we know we will wake up tomorrow and be done with Day 1 – and drinking today would mean never ending cycle. To get through wine-o-clock tonight I’m going to make a simple meal and get under blankets in the couch. Maybe I will cry. Anything is better than another day 1.

  5. Jocord 4 years ago

    Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude. Good morning, sober friends! I love this quote. When I struggle with situations, I always concentrate on handling myself with grace. I know that no matter what the outcome, at least I know that at the end of the day I will not have embarrassed or shamed myself by handling my emotions well. And not the false grace of being overly understanding, or falsely tolerant and compassionate to others but the sober, quiet, calm, loving ability to process emotions with true honesty. I am working on adding grace to love and gratitude to compile a powerful tool to put in my toolbox to handle whatever adversity may come my way and to deal with triggers. I am at peace this dreary 6th week soberversary, knowing I put my sobriety first and my family and the world are much happier for this, Grateful to LS and to you all today!

    • Jacqui74 3 months ago

      Love that, “soberversary’. My new word 😊

  6. Marcy 4 years ago

    I’m so sorry u struggle w this. Must be horrible. I know drinking helps me fall asleep.

  7. Marcy 4 years ago

    I need to stop drinking so much. Not ready to say nothing. It’s damaging my relationships. And I hate myself in the morning.

  8. Jared 4 years ago

    Hi, Hope you read this. I have suffered from insomnia my entire live. Fight club type insomnia, madhouse type insomnia. It has driven me to drink and drugs. The need to quite down the mind a must.
    In the end I went to a shrink that put me on low dose anti psychotic. Seriqual. It is a horrible drug with many side effects but without it I would be dead. Not suggesting at all that you start taking medicine but it might be a good idea to go to a sleep clinic and to see a shrink for sleep related mental help. You are going to have a hell of a time getting off the drink if you are not able to sleep.

  9. Anonymous 4 years ago

    Hi, Hope you read this. I have suffered from insomnia my entire live. Fight club type insomnia, madhouse type insomnia. It has driven me to drink and drugs. The need to quite down the mind a must.
    In the end I went to a shrink that put me on low dose anti psychotic. Seriqual. It is a horrible drug with many side effects but without it I would be dead. Not suggesting at all that you start taking medicine but it might be a good idea to go to a sleep clinic and to see a shrink for sleep related mental help. You are going to have a hell of a time getting off the drink if you are not able to sleep.

  10. Hammer123 4 years ago

    Just got through day 27 and feel like Day 30 will be a bit of a mile stone, even though tomorrow will be 4 weeks. I have gone through alot of things that I thought would be more difficult, having friends over for a hockey game, going to the legion, going to a party, telling our best couple friends and my golf partner! I am waiting until I get deeper into my sobriety before I let others know! I have found fruit smoothies, non-alcohlic beer and flavoured water help around the times I would usually have a scotch, beer or wine, also this site and the Recovery Elevator help me get through the tough moments, knowing that all my feelings and behaviours are experienced by many more people than just myself! Just wondering if there is somewhere else i can post these types of comments to start a different kind of conversation involving my recovery?
    Thanks for any advice you can offer! Hammer

  11. Kelley 4 years ago

    I love kombucha – I pour it in a wine glass – and I think the ritual of it still “relaxes” me – but no night sweats and no fog in the morning. Make a pretty fruit infused water and put in a wine glass or flute.

  12. Kelley 4 years ago

    I love kombucha – I pour it down n a wine glass – and I think the ritual of it still “relaxes” me – but no night sweats and no fog in the morning. Make a pretty fruit infused water and put in a wine glass or flute.

  13. Kelley 4 years ago

    It’s not down the drain . I think of it as a bucket. It’s still an accomplishment. And it’s historical. So – Now I need a new bucket. My last bucket contained 15 days and a calculated $224 saved by not drinking wine. That’s like 20 whole bottles. (I drink cheap red wine) Every step towards your personal goal is a good thing, I’ve been using The NoMo app – to track my “buckets”. Who knows, maybe eventually I’ll need a “swimming pool”.

  14. Laylabird 4 years ago

    Everything from just going to bed, to having a sparkling non alcoholic drink.

    Do something that you wouldn’t normally drink during, go to the gym, go for a walk. Go to a move. Eat popcorn instead…..

  15. Laylabird 4 years ago

    What’s important is that you are starting over again and that’s 4 weeks that your body had w/out drinking. We have to keep trying and Not give up on ourselves.

  16. Susan smernoff 4 years ago

    I have no problem with alcohol when I’m with people when I’m out for an event but when I’m home alone I drink too much and it’s gotten to be a habit so a little voice says well it’s OK go ahead and I know it’s not OK but I have I need to deal with the problem can you help me

  17. Aidymay 4 years ago

    Hello, joined today also, went to my first AA meeting yesterday, feeling excited.

  18. K2428 4 years ago

    Just joined today. Hoping this site can be one more tool in my tool belt. I’m so tired of fighting this disease alone. Today is my first day sober for about the 100th time it feels like. I know this post is not on topic. I just don’t know where to begin. Thank you

  19. Girlstrong104 4 years ago

    Hi everyone. 3rd day and using the site at work now just to stay connected to all you wonderful people. Stay well

  20. jupiterverse 4 years ago

    “Anonymous” Posts

    I understand wanting to post anonymously. My problem is that when I respond to “anonymous” I do not know if it is the same person or a different person.
    Is there anyway that “anonymous” can indicate that they have made a previous post or if it the first time Otherwise, any response I make is not going to make sense. I want to help and not make things more difficult than they are.

  21. Anonymous 4 years ago

    I caved over the weekend and drank 3 bottles of wine. That wine o’clock got to me. Can’t blame anyone but myself. I’m so pissed at myself for caving. Almost 4 weeks without 1 drink and I cave. Now I have to start all over again.

    I bloody hate myself for it, I really do. All my hard work gone down the drain. Never mind head up, shoulders back and start again. Easy said then done. I know how hard it was for me in the first 3 days.

    • Anonymous 4 years ago

      Don’t give up!! It took me 7 long pig drinking years to finally get 9 months of sobriety.

    • jupiterverse 4 years ago

      Dear Anonymous

      Please don’t despair. The fact that you came back to the community to share what happened to you shows what a brave person you truly are.

      I don’t think that there is anyone in this community who has not hit the wagon after swearing off drink. I once went for over two years being sober, and then went on a binge that just went on and on.

      So don’t give up. Your hard work has not gone the drain. It has taught you valuable lessons. My suggestion is that you keep away from drinking parties for the time being. Make an excuse for staying away but best not to say that it is because you are not drinking because that will result in pressure and sometimes painful mockery.
      Come to this community. Read the blogs, the community area and share your story. We can’t walk this path alone. We need each other. Kia kaha!

  22. Anonymous 4 years ago

    Day 12 I’m feeling awful… Sad lonley angry deprived.. alone.. scared I’m going out tonight on works drinks and I’m not drinking .. I don’t want to drink but I don’t not want to drink

    • jupiterverse 4 years ago

      Sorry, I just saw your post.
      How did it go? Whatever happened, please don’t give up.
      When you are feeling lonely ,sad, angry come to this site, and visit the community area.

  23. Anonymous 4 years ago

    Hi all, I have an odd case on hand. I’m 17 which seems like a ridiculous age to be on a living sober forum but I’d appreciate if you hear me out before jumping to calling me stupid. So around 2 years ago I quit smoking weed, I would only smoke on a night time and it was purely to fall straight to sleep as I have had issues getting to sleep throughout my life, this went on for a good 8 months straight and I’d forgot what falling
    asleep sober felt like. So inevitably my parents caught me, drug tests etc so I drank my mums gin every night to sleep as I couldn’t bare going to bed sober. This has continued for the last 2 years however I graduated to whiskey around a year ago and currently I drink around 1/3 to 1/2 of a bottle of Aldi’s own Clarke’s bourbon (only cheap whiskey I can drink but can’t afford decent bourbon) a night to comfortably sleep and as I’m so young I seldom get a hangover. Recently my parents and girlfriend have expressed concerns at my collection of empty bottles, alongside that although the bottles are only £12 each cost is becoming a large issue with the majority of my wage going on it. However besides that there aren’t any other catches, I’m fully aware of how much it must be harming me but as I am with smoking cigarettes I just can’t seem to grasp that and take the “it’ll never happen to me” approach to alcohol related disease. The catch is I don’t drink through the day or in the morning as an alcoholic is usually protrayed, however as soon as the prospect of sleep/tiredness crosses my mind i instantly associate it with drinking. I’ve realised I have a problem and have been trying to not drink on weekdays with mediocre success, I went 3 days and just couldn’t refuse a drink hence why I’m here typing this. I don’t expect a magical cure, if anything this is simply venting and if you’ve got this far thanks for reading, apologies for the colossal post.

    • quoteme 4 days ago

      Hi

      How are you going? I’m thinking of you. Paul

    • jupiterverse 4 years ago

      One more thing in addition to my earlier reply – do login to the community area. It took me a couple of weeks after I joined before I found it. You will discover so many warriors walking the path with you.

    • jupiterverse 4 years ago

      I believe that you have a guardian angel who brought you to this site. I know that mine did. I could not have survived this far without the support from reading what others in community post. As Tom4500 says, don’t try it alone. And yes, there is a magical cure for you but it needs, hard work, perseverance, trust in yourself, and the support of this community. Do reach out to us when you need help. May the Force be with you.

    • Tom4500 4 years ago

      The amount that you drink each night is likely to increase, until you decide to stop drinking completely, or you become life – threateningly ill. I think that you know what you have to do. The upside is, there are so many promising years ahead of you, if you’re tough enough to stop drinking. But don’t try it alone. Allow others to help you. Continue to explore avenues that have been successful for others. There is a magical cure for you, you just have to discover what it is.

  24. Jocord 4 years ago

    Day 10 today. This morning I’m watching an episode on addiction on The Drs. tv show. Good way to begin the day! The morning news reported that my county in conjunction with “Most teens don’t” program is placing a green sticker on every alcohol product in every store in the county. Wow, what a huge undertaking. And a great reminder to every alcoholic who goes into that store. I have to go grocery shopping today and walk right by the alcohol aisle. It must be God answering my plea for help to just stay sober today. One day at a time! I am grateful for this and all of you.

  25. Candy 4 years ago

    Today is May 1 2018 want to stop drinking wine usually drink 3 glasses white per night nasty habit I come from alcohol genes want to quit I think it causes terrible morning anxiety no other alcohol problem is I’m meeting Girlfriendat Beach (husband getaway LOL) what should I do should I try just one fancy Beach drink a day I know I can quit wine I’ve gone 45-50 days several times HELP if anyone can I just walked which takes away some anxiety I also have Xanax but don’t like to depend on it I also think wine robs me of precious sleep I work 3 days a week I am in my 60’s and a little person Thanks in advance

    • shrn 4 years ago

      Can-berry and soda water with lime works for me at times. Letting them know your not going to drink on this trip and need support : )
      Hugs, have a fun trip you can do it!!

  26. Josie 4 years ago

    I am on day 8 and through my first weekend. 🙂 My thoughts were similar to many comments in blogs which I’ve read. “Surf the cravings”, “why feel like crap in the morning for a couple of hours of buzz?”, “one minute at a time”, “this too shall pass”, “do something different”. So I am doing all these things to get through the usual happy hour time. I was worried about a cool, refreshing drink during the summer and found that tonic/cranberry juice is tart and sweet and refreshing. I pour a big glass of that over ice in a fancy glass and that seems to be satisfying my desire for something cold since I don’t drink pop but like the bite of alcohol. I make sure I eat early. I changed up my weekend by planning every minute of Friday night at home. Saturday I went out, but to church and then visiting non-drinking friends. Sunday, I picked up dinner right by our friendly liquor store and visited my mom. Now I know what to do every day of the week to stay sober. I just have to keep up the practice-and when that voice pops up to say “it’s the weekend, you deserve a reward”, I tell it “what kind of reward is a hangover?”. Icecream is better!

  27. Anonymous 4 years ago

    Hi Anonymous, I’m with you. On the 28th I had more than my usual bottle of wine. Me, my Husband and another couple shot back a bottle of birthday Tequila (hubbys birhday) I passed out at 7.30pm and woke up 12 hours later hazy but but not too bad. My husband then told me the the couple we were drinking with got in an argument and he hit her. They are a solid couple, he’s a fun guy with no anger that I’ve seen. It really hit home (sorry the pun) that drinking is affecting us all eventually and it’s only a matter of time. I don’t want rock bottom so I’m taking action today to say enough is enough. Just the action of writing this post helps put into focus my WHY. I’ve never done this before either (posting I mean) I’ve wanted and thought I should give up drinking but end up talking myself back into it saying I can have 1 glass a night which never lasts. Drinking is ingrained and woven into all social events so this will be hard. Stay strong anonymous, it will be worth it in the long run!

  28. Anonymous 4 years ago

    Correct address… Above is for wine.

    https://joinclubsoda.co.uk

  29. Isobel90740 4 years ago

    Going to the movies or to the gym helps lessen the happy hour cravings .

  30. isobel90740 4 years ago

    I find it hard not to drink on weekends. But since I cut back to no more than five drinks a week, it seems a bit easier to quit on the weekends. The longest I have quit drinking wine is a month

  31. Isobel Civen 4 years ago

    I just found about this website http://www.clubsoda.com ,and it helps me feel motivated to quit drinking wine. This website recommends taking a dry month in January and October , I am going to sign up for the January dry month .

  32. Anonymous 4 years ago

    Today was day 11 and the first time that I felt like I wanted to drink and smoke. If any of you are familiar, the conversation in my head was something to the effect of since I didn’t have any withdrawal symptoms I’m not really an alcoholic and really what harm would one cig be? Really had to distract myself with a bad movie and hot herbal tea and had a long conversation with myself about how if I wasn’t an alcoholic why am I 30 lbs overweight, bloated and hungover every day and reminded myself that my blood pressure was the highest it has ever been at the dentist’s office 3 weeks ago. Once I got through the first 15 minutes and settled myself down I was okay. I just don’t want to piss away the 11 days I have achieved this far and I don’t want to have to start again. My stubborn streak may have harmed me in the past but it is definitely helping with staying sober.

  33. Sal07 4 years ago

    Hello All. Day 1. Again. I recently read Mrs D is Going Without and it felt familiar, which lead me here. I’ve never joined an online group before. I come from a big drinking background. I work at a job I really like, I am happily married and also happily down a bottle of wine a night, sometimes more and occassionally less. I recently had 6 weeks not drinking and want to turn that into the rest of my life. So, to keep me on track, (and it would appear I need something to help with that because I have had numerous patches of not drinking – ranging from weeks to 1.5 years) I am hoping if I go ‘public’ here I can keep myself accountable and also hopefully share the whole non-drinking trip with others who are in the same boat. I am so tired of constantly doing battle with myself over drinking. I am tired of the energy and time and space it takes up in my life and my mind, and the effect it has on my body. For me, it seems to be easier to just not start. So, day 1 plan – join this forum, read some blogs, and be prepared to weather the couple of hours in the evening that are the hard ones for me. And be prepared to check in here again tomorrow…and able to say ‘Day 1 was a success’.

    • MamaNettie 1 year ago

      If you have momentum, keep it rolling!

  34. Anonymous 4 years ago

    I can relate to many of you comments. I start off the day telling myself I won’t drink wine today and then by 5pm I’m craving ‘a glass’. It’s the period from 5pm to 7pm that I find the hardest. I like to drink three glasses during this period while I prep, serve and clean up dinner. If I can get through those hours without wine I feel like I have achieved a personal victory ! My partner absolutely hates me drinking and is very vocal about his feelings on the matter. Instead of considering this a reason to stop I just hide my behaviour from him. I need to stop.

    • Mags01 11 months ago

      Yip, 5 to 7.30pm the wine is calling me from the fridge!

      Dogs are loving the extra walks!

  35. Anonymous 4 years ago

    That 5 o’clock drive home gets me every time. Every morning I wake up and say I’m not drinking today, but at 5 I pass that one store on the way and stop for wine. About once a week I can pass that store without stopping and I’m so proud of myself but the next day I cave, and everyday after that. Same on the weekends, what Can I do to pass the cravings?

    • Froufrou 1 year ago

      Any chance you can take a different route home to avoid that shop? It would make it easier on yourself at that particular time. Also, how about having a cuppa before you leave work as part of your preparation for home, so you begin winding down a bit earlier?

  36. Anonymous 4 years ago

    I am not a day drinker at all….but at night after work or I sit down to relax for the eve I have a hard time resisting a glass of wine. It is almost like I will not let the thought go..then I become anxious….until I give myself that glass of wine. This is a psychological thing…what can I do to defy or ignore these thoughts or maybe cravings?.

  37. Anonymous 4 years ago

    Authentic, just curious what was the trigger that made you drink again after two amazing years sober. Why?

  38. Anonymous 4 years ago

    This is my first day of admitting I have a problem and I have to stop drinking. I had a glass of wine while cooking dinner and then another during and then another after. Then another with desert. I woke up to a mostly empty bottle of champagne, I don’t remember opening and a nasty hangover. I realized I’ve been upping my consumption over time, which led to this. I have no idea why and I don’t know how to talk to husband about it. I’m completely lost.

  39. authentic 4 years ago

    Yay day one done and dusted. Interesting just being back on this site reminds me of how much I loved the two years I didn’t touch alcohol…feel the urge to surpass the two year mark this time

  40. Anonymous 4 years ago

    Day 1 down. I read a lot of the comments yesterday. Are we all pretty much women on this blog? And if so, is it wine that we all seem to go to? How did you get here?

    My story is simple: I started hanging out with moms who drank, and it just seemed to morph from there. The Friday night glass turned into the Weekend, then crept into every day life. I’m not going to give it up, but I am going to severely change this habit.

    • Fifthrain 4 years ago

      Hey Anonymous – it appears that there are more women than men in this community but there are definitely men out there. I am on day 18 and have quit for extended periods of time (up to 9 months) in the past to prove to myself that I didn’t have a problem (like my mother). Giving it up for good this time for my health and my two amazing daughters and beautiful wife.

  41. Anonymous 4 years ago

    I love what you wrote – I think I need to do the same.

  42. Anonymous 4 years ago

    Going into my 6th day without booze by default, really. Got a horrible cold that turned into a sinus infection and frankly just felt too sick to drink or smoke so I decided to take advantage of that and dedicate myself to going the distance. I’ve needed to quit both for a loooong time. On antibiotics until next Friday but feeling well enough to go back to my normal M-F routine tomorrow which always includes 3 glasses of wine and 3-5 beers and 3-5 cigs at the end of the day. Dreading the after work time frame as well. Thinking some cardio at the gym and planning and cooking a healthy dinner and going to bed early might work. My husband doesn’t really know the extent of the booze, hid the wine drinking so I haven’t said anything to him about my plans, just letting it happen.

  43. Carolyn Todd 4 years ago

    Amen girl

  44. Anonymous 4 years ago

    Dear Anonymous,
    Your story sounds very familiar. I am 57 and have quit smoking for 2 years now. I have quit the wine for 5 days today. Like yourself I am overweight and summer is here. All the best to you and my prayers are with you. Today was a terrible day for me as Friday is the night for wine.. ** well any night is ) driving by the lcbo was difficult.. my saying now is ” Look at the whole story, get wine tonight.. drink.. pass out.. black out.. wake up in the morning hungover now wanting to do anything.. ” I decided the whole story has been my life for awhile.. “Look at the whole story” before you buy that wine.. All the best to you

  45. Anonymous 4 years ago

    I am new here, 9 days sober but who is counting 😉 Wine o’ clock is the only time of day I really struggle with cravings. I have been changing the word “drink” to “poison” in my head to get through those urges. I feel like having some poison right now. Then I tell myself, “I don’t drink because I can’t control it, it’s crazy to drink poison” I also remind myself how good I’ll feel tomorrow after I stay sober today.

  46. Anonymous 4 years ago

    Exercise and fresh air.
    Praying.

  47. Anonymous 4 years ago

    One night sober, one to go. I don’t want to quit all together, but I would like to stop drinking during the week. It’s nice to see I am not alone. I hope I can do it this time.

    • Phaedra 2 years ago

      You are so not alone 🙂 If you are looking for something to read or listen to, may I recommend Allen Carr’s “The Easy Way to Control Alcohol” ?

  48. Anonymous 4 years ago

    Hi Y’all, I am about to turn 50 & I have graduated from one bottle of wine a night, to usually two.. I’ve become such a pro, it doesn’t make me problematic- oh, except I’m probably an extra 40lbs overweight from all the calories & this has been going on for 20yrs. So, the effects on my liver … not to mention the money… I have a happy, healthy-ish life, for the 1st time, ever & I want to be here, to enjoy it! Plus, as many of you know- cigarettes are delicious, with wine. I smoke about a pack a day & have, forever. It’s a miracle, I’m in such good health!
    SO, I haven’t quit yet, but it’s helping me, to hear others talk about wine:30.. THAT is my issue, for sure! I like the idea of a sparkling, mocktail at witching hour & am thinking, if I commit to a 5:30 yoga class, it’ll keep me off the sauce… I own a jewelry store & I work likw a dog,.. oddly, it’s acceptable for me to drink wine there, every night.. I need to just start leaving, I guess.. Anyway, I’m planning to quit, or cut back severely, for my birthday. Thanks for writing, y’all. Your posts are inspiring & encouraging. I am grateful.. Thank you, Barb

  49. Clairebear 4 years ago

    This is my first day on here. I am 10 days sober after a 5 day stay in hospital. I was sober for 7 years until 2011 and then lapsed and have been lapsing on and off ever since. I hit rock bottom a few weeks ago. I am ok but struggling with bad cravings from around 4.00pm. I also have terrible drinking dreams.

  50. Chickanini 4 years ago

    WOW its been AGES since I have logged on, been to a meeting or even thought about being a super sober sensation. 867 days the little calculator tells me I have been sober and 460 days smoke free. WOW. I do wish sugar was as easy, I have been doing an eating plan cleaning my gut but the sugar is proving to be the one addiction not so easy to give away, 5/7 times as addictive as cocaine, I beg to differ as I gave that up easily also. ANYWAYS, let me just put out a HIGH FIVE to those who have logged on; shared, tripped up, got back up, moved on, cried, laughed, had melt downs, jumped for joy, you are aware you are here and that is the BIG DEAL, recognising for you, that your drinking suggested you have a chat about things and then maybe do things around changing or stopping your drinking. ANYWAYS (I love anyways no not canadian), YOU ROCK I ROCK WE ALL ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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