Getting through wine o’clock

Late in the afternoon is often the hardest time. How do you get through the witching hours without drinking?

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1,052 Comments
  1. Anonymous 2 years ago

    Hello everyone. Reading your stories is like looking in a mirror. Wine is my thing and I have ‘enjoyed’ this crutch for many years. Scared I’m not going to be able to reduce or stop as I have tried on my own to address this for some time with no success. The shame I feel is enormous! Really related to your patten of daily drinking maryisnotafairy. Trying to function through the day in a job while hoping I ‘don’t get caught’. Which just brings more stress and shame and more of a reason for me to drink at the end of the day. I really want to address my drinking and would value any ideas and support other members have to offer.

  2. berb17 2 years ago

    My first night and I plan to keep myself busy, but am worried about getting to sleep. I am determined to feel and be a better person.

    • Dibee 2 years ago

      How is it going? Are you on Day 11? Hope you are hanging in there. This on line support system is the best thing I’ve come across for a while.

    • Dibee 2 years ago

      How is it going? Have you got through the last 111 nights OK?

    • freedom1025 2 years ago

      Good for you @berb17. If you’re not already there, you may want join the community area and post there for support. It’s a great place to get lots of good advice.

  3. Anonymous 2 years ago

    In the first few weeks, I noticed when I was hungry I Really really felt like drinking wine especially after a day at the office when I am craving my own space. I made sure I had some sort of reward even if it was chippies and diet coke in the very beginning. The wanting of wine did not last long into the evening.

    After 100 days I started to buy 0% alcohol wines and beers as it feels good to have as a reward at the end of the work day instead of soft drinks all the time. I wish bars in NZ would sell these drinks.

    It does get easier, it really does. I was used to having a wine hangover most days for the last 20 years in our heavy wine culture. Am on day 152 now. I don’t know what lays ahead, and never use the word forever. Thats too restrictive for me.

    The benefits of not drinking are far outweighing the first hit of a glass of wine – not to mention the peace at 2am in the morning and waking feeling the same as when i went to bed instead of tired and foggy.

    • Dibee 2 years ago

      I quite agree. Here’s a great saying that I learned from AA.
      If you feel like drinking, HALT. Ask yourself,
      Am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired?

  4. Dave 2 years ago

    I struggle I’m 26 2 kids work 70 hours a week and every night it’s my reward to drink but mines a whole bottle and beers

    • Tom4500 2 years ago

      So the “reward”, or the morning voice got you here. Looked for your profile and didn’t see it, but I do see you work a lot. Geez, 70 hours a week has to get old after a while. Going “Alcohol Free” does provide replacement rewards, and they are many. Of course two of the best three reasons are running around your home, and the best of all is their mom. If you’re sober for them, then you’re really putting in a full week.

  5. Ricky 2 years ago

    On day two hear of sobriety. Got stuck in another 3 month bender of daily wine life! Was dry all of June but a July 1 wedding led to this relapse. Able to get sober for 2 months at the longest which was two years ago. Then too, a birthday party did me in and kicked off wine drinking all Spring! Many issues started of course ( many described here). I need to stop!

  6. Anonymous 2 years ago

    I feel like such a failure for letting my drinking get to this point. Today is the first day for no drinking and I never want to go back. Taking it hour by hour and want to live a life without alcohol

    • MsLil 2 years ago

      Welcome to the journey of sobriety – you are very brave for taking the first step.
      Keep checking in daily and you will be amongst people on the same path ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. Danielle 2 years ago

    After many 1st days , I am now on day 2 . So very excited to find this site , ad AA is not for me. I have written a list of the positives of not drinking and can’t wait to feel less toxic so I can be a great mum again and start e housing my job again . For the first time , I don’t feel like I am loosing a friend and Misding the party . I feel relieved and at worst slightly mortified at all the money wastage and close calls when I could have been hurt or hurt some one else . Bring this exciting journey on !!

  8. MsLil 2 years ago

    The wine witching hour is the worst for me…wine ‘o’ clock or whatever you want to call it. Then there are the happy sad or bad times… basically it’s any time there is a reason to drink such as a reward, a numbing of my emotions, a celebration of some kind, a friend dropping in, a dinner party, a hard days work, a treaty for me!
    I realised non of the above is true…
    I drink because I am an alcoholic. The only remedy for me is abstinence that’s my medicine.
    As soon as it’s nearing the wine ‘o’ clock time I go running or to the gym.
    I cook dinner and make myself a lovely bubbly drink in a stem glass.
    Sometimes I read or watch a movie and treat myself to dessert or hot chocolate. Sometimes I take myself to an AA meeting. Then I take myself off to bed as early as possible to wake early and exercise or meditate or have a leisurely morning with the very best coffee.

    Through the day there are glimpses of wine and sunsets and glamourous rendezvous with chamagne. As the day comes to an end I fast forward to the next 12 hours…Do I want an anxiety attack at 4:am with a pounding headache and a full bladder that is about to explode! a racing heart with sweats and dizziness low blood sugar and nausea? It’s insane how this can possibly be a good substitute for sleeping, feeling refreshed on waking, no self loathing or regrets, a memory of what happened the night before and a smile on my face and feeling alive and healthy!
    The definition of insanity – doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

    • Drunkenmama 1 year ago

      Nice words! Totally agree! That sure helps on day 2

  9. grace68 2 years ago

    Opps I mean it’s been a month since my last drink. Silly typo.

  10. grace68 2 years ago

    Hi
    I’m new and its been a month since my first drink. I feed my cats and cook a meal and go to bed early. I would have expected my depression to lift but I am deep in depression at the moment and seeing doctor tomorrow. I feel physically sick as well as miserable and unfocused. I don’t want to cave in and have a drink because I do not see a future with it in my life. It’s temporary. I like a soda with a twist in a a tall glass.

  11. Anonymous 2 years ago

    It is so helpful to know that we are not alone. I am on day 3. Thank you everyone for your honesty.

  12. kbissone 2 years ago

    I am finding that if instead of pouring wine, I take my dogs out for a walk, I can pass up wine o’clock! I still miss it! I have started Gentle Yoga, thinking that helps!

  13. KathyE 2 years ago

    It’s insane! That’s the built in forgetter that we have.

  14. KathyE 2 years ago

    Good luck to you and everyone else seeking recovery

  15. KathyE 2 years ago

    Thank you !!

  16. KathyE 2 years ago

    I can relate

  17. KathyE 2 years ago

    Trying to keep a positive attitude!!

  18. KathyE 2 years ago

    Feel very alone !!! Tried so many times to quit and afraid I will fail again . Prayers for me

  19. KathyE 2 years ago

    I work pretty late hours .loniness hits hard when I open my door . I found I have to have a plan what I am going to do for the time to fly . I will read books and paint . I shut my phone off when doing these things because I don’t want to get distracted or perhaps week

  20. Anonymous 2 years ago

    Day 3 for me..
    I have just finished reading “Mrs D is going without”
    I had a month off in July then my father passed away so slipped back into the old habits just to numb the pain.
    I owe it to myself and my family to be the best person I can.
    We will see.

  21. Anonymous 2 years ago

    Day 3 for me..
    I have just finished reading “Mrs D is going without”
    I had a month off in July then my father passed away so slipped back into the old habits just to numb the pain.
    I owe it to myself and my family to be the best person I can.
    We will see.

  22. JessicaDiane 2 years ago

    A long hot bath after work helps to relax me and keep me away from the wine

  23. Supersaloon 2 years ago

    How do people get through Wine O’clock? I will drink from 5 pm onwards daily, usually 3 bottles of wine a day… I want to stop this but how to get through Wine O’clock.?

    • Anonymous 2 years ago

      Change your setting. Take on any activity that starts at 4pm – walking, hiking, yoga, shopping, napping. As long as you are not in the same place where you usually drink it can work. That may mean somebody is going to go without dinner if you are the family cook, but that’s ok. You have to put yourself first.

  24. Anonymous 2 years ago

    Well, this web site reinforces what we all know…”you’re not so unique”. Day 3 for , but i don’t allow myself to mark it off until I head to bed. Good luck to you all.

  25. D 2 years ago

    I have been trawling this site ,it fills me with encouragement ! I like visualising the wine witch but it leaves me with a problem when is she most likely to show up, I have come to the conclusion she never leaves me.
    Today she was with me at breakfast ( I live in Spain and it is socially acceptable to drink at any time of the day) I envy all those people who sit and talk over a glass of beer / glass of wine . they never seem to get drunk, of course I don’t know them maybe their on this site with me. Today the wine witch was particularly alluring and very seductive almost convincing me that I had not had a drink for the last 5 days and surely that proves your not an alcoholic. My mind replied we have been through this before and you keep trying Witch and winning ! no more I know the game by now ,So Witch stay in the shadows I know your there Sexy,Seductive promising the world to me if I will just give in to you, but for now at least i,m not playing ! oh I know you will try again later, you always do. For today though I win.

  26. Anonymous 2 years ago

    It has been really refreshing (?) to read so many of these posts today. The last time I went 2 days without a drink was seven years ago. Ever since, I have had at least one (and often two bottles) glass of wine every day. This doesn’t make me happy and I hide it as much as possible. My new husband has expressed concerns a number of times and yet he still married me. I guess I’m lucky.

    While yesterday I had a normal amount for me (about a bottle and a half) I woke up in the night feeling more horrible than usual. Vomited even. Then I didn’t go to work today because I felt unwell. Of course earlier today I encountered the usual resolve to cut back and not do it again, but here I am on my second glass of wine.

    This is a horrible trap and I recall very clearly the day in my mid 20’s when I realised I love alcohol and became instantly dependent.

    Sometimes I imagine all the things I may do if it weren’t for alcohol- socialise more freely, finish projects, genuinely think through decisions, stay awake through a movie, learn new skills, have better skin, remember things… The list goes on.

  27. Annabel Nesbitt 2 years ago

    I have just joined this site after 11 months sober. I have felt so alone . Reading these posts is like I’ve found a family.

  28. pixie1234 2 years ago

    loads of sodas and eating unfortunately ๐Ÿ™‚

  29. pixie1234 2 years ago

    Many, many sodas and eating-unfortunately!

  30. Anonymous 2 years ago

    This is good adivce. I am trying to keep busy between 5 and 8 and then the craving seems to lessen. It’s true that when I wake in the night I feel a little panic that I’ve got a hangover and then feel so pleased when I don’t. I never wake in the morning wishing I had drunk the night before. But I am thinking all day about whether I need to quit or whether I’m alright to drink. I know I want to give it up because it does seem to dominate everything and yes, I’ve had horrible nights and regretted things the next day. I’ve felt embarrassed and I’ve seen other drunk people and thought, ‘God is that what I’m like?’. I suppose I keep on justifying my need to drink to myself. Is that normal? Sometimes I only have two glasses and sometimes a bottle but I think it that I want to be free to be thinner and fitter and to be free. It would be good to hear what anyone thinks about this……

  31. Anonymous 2 years ago

    Have a shower, and while enjoying the flowing aTer, imagine me as a child never thinking about alcohol. Then I spend time looking after my skin, smoothing cream onto myself and then get into my pyjamas. This takes me through witching time. It’s become a ritual.

  32. Shebe 2 years ago

    One trigger for me is my pool. I have friends over to “float” and catch some rays and in the past we would never float without a drink. It was great just to relax in the pool for the day and slug the beers, not a care in the world right… Well I still have those days floating in the pool with family and friends the only change is they will have a drink or several and I have my infused water. Sometimes I feel like a beer would be great but then push it out of my mind and just float and remember that tomorrow morning I will wake up and be able to function and feel great! Life is good!!!

  33. OneDayToday 2 years ago

    I just joined this site today. I just finished a long day. I am tired. I live alone. I have an open beer beside me and more in the fridge and a bottle of wine in support if needed. This is the hardest 3 hours to get through without alcohol for me. Any advice for me would be great.
    I am at day 0. Hope to start day 1 tomorrow.

  34. Swede1018 2 years ago

    Wow. The illness is real.
    I’m on day 2. My nerves are SHOT.
    I’m nervous, irritable and unfocused.
    But my delightfully addicted mind was just telling me that I could really use a glass (read bottle) of wine. Then I’d feel so much better.
    Just need to get through the night and look forward to waking up without a headache or nausea. I love waking up refreshed at the crack of dawn.

    • KerB 2 years ago

      You can do this! I’m right behind you!

  35. ginnie 2 years ago

    I have just started using “My Food Bag”. They deliver all the food for your meals during the week so I don’t have the excuse of going to the supermarket at 5pm. Once I get through that 5-6pm time and have eaten dinner it’s a lot easier. I’ll do this for a few weeks and see how it helps. My husband is picking up the milk and other bits and pieces we need so I’m not tempted in these early weeks.

  36. EllieJane 2 years ago

    Feeling sore and ashamed at 1am

  37. Over it 2 years ago

    Day 4 and I’m blessed to have found Mrs.D! This is spot on!!

  38. Walter 2 years ago

    In the beginning of living sober I did not know where to sit in my house, because someone told me to change everything had to Change. So instead selling my home or buying new furniture or some other half baked idea I decided to sit where I drake everyday for 15 years, I grabbed my rocks glass and went to the freezer and instead of filling the glasss with ice I filled it with frozen pineapple.

    Then got the clearest decanter I could find and filled it with cool water. Took one of our goood silverware spoons and sat down,

    I calmly poured the cool water over the frozen pineapple chunks and took the spoon and slowly stirred it

    I then would scoop a pineapple chunck on my spoon put its contents of cool water and pineapple into my mouth. I would close my eyes and take a deep breath as the sensation of sweetness would coax my tongue and begin to freeze my mouth, I would then use my tongue and place the frozen fruit on the back area where my wisdom teeth used to be and then take a sip of the cool water.

    Eventually the ice coaxing the pineapple would melt and I would use my gums where the fruit rested and gwaw it gently until it was dispateded then swallow the context.

    Open my eyes and repeat this action for about 10 minutes to maybe and hour or until I was satiated with the comfort of the action of a drink,

    This process happened almost everyday for about three months. I still at times need the escape of the drink and when I make the production of the cleanest rock glass and decanter and check in to check out.

    I’ve been living sober now for over two years and much step work, reading and discovering a new relationship with my higher power is my journey today.

    I write in hopes not to oversimplify how easy it is to just stop because it’s not. But what I am suggesting is maybe get over geeked up on a simple joy and keep your mind open and things will change.

    Recently I wanted a drink, a real one,
    I thought about it but of course I had some excuse not to….
    Oh I have work in the morning
    I have to go to dinner with the in laws
    Dam it I have the function to attend.
    I had a hundred of road blocks that got in my way to go drink.
    Then I stopped. And laughed.

    How things have change,
    I used to have ally these excuses I couldn’t stop.

    Life has changed and my first gift I discoverd was frozen pineapple and water,

    I going to get one now because well… I deserve it,

    God bless and take what works for you and shelf the rest because maybe you’ll find a use for it later.

  39. sandy jarosch 2 years ago

    Best toolbox skill is a memory. I never drank a lot & have had nothing for eight years. often think I would love a lovely red wine in a big bucket glass on an empty stomach before tea so I would feel full. No soup for me thanks. But the shame & regret of a life lost are still there. I was a self harmer & suicide attempt. Missed my father funeral. Didn’t even visit. I’m still broke, unemployed & have now got arthritis, more than ten years to early to retire. Memory is my greatest mindful toolbox of all.

  40. Augustiron 2 years ago

    2010 days sober, God I love it after 40 years in a daze,I wake in the morning ecstatic at the prospect of living another whole day drug & alcohol free.
    I’m so grateful my remaining decade or so will be sober so as to live a life full of love &revived family relationships. I feel blessed.
    I have to admit I owe much of my success to the diligent contribution made by
    NZ Corrections for their hospitality over the last few years.

  41. Sassafrass-t 2 years ago

    One thing that keeps me sober is fear of the panic and anxiety that comes w the hangover – awful! After my last few drinking nights, i had to take 1/2 a xanax next morning to keep calm. I never would need to do something like that without drinking.

  42. Shebe 2 years ago

    Hello friends! Happy 4th of July weekend! It’s been a long 2 weeks and I must share my story. 2 weeks ago I walked out on my job. I had a very tough day but did NOT turn to beer to soothe. I came home and my son asked why I was home and I told him I quit my job. He of course asked what happened and I told him. He then said “Mom you were too good for that job and they knew it! Good for you Mom” We had a good talk then I had to face my husband when he got home. He was upset, but encouraging as always
    He asked me if I stopped at the bar and I told him NO WAY! Well since then I have a new job that I start soon. I think God had all of this planned out
    for me for all of my life, as he does everyone. I asked him to put me on a proper path and he has. I am a strong woman with faith in God, Family and friends. If I can overcome the many tough obstacles I have so can you my friend!

  43. tobi 2 years ago

    Cecelia I am exactly the same as you. When I drank, 2-7 pm I was looking forward to my own private party with wine I had nightly. Now being sober early evenings are still a struggle. It will get easier I know it.

  44. MarkMan 2 years ago

    How have you lived my life? So familiar. The real scary bit is when the vodka goes with the morning coffee before the shower. What a great way to start the day!? I need a drink. And repeat….

  45. Boneman 2 years ago

    I tried meetings and went hard for a couple weeks and I think it helped. At first. But I began to feel the guilt increase rather than decrease due to the self pity and shame and guilt that seems to be the theme at these meetings. I felt like every time I went the purpose seemed to be to pull the scab off the wound and let it bleed in front of everyone again. Each meeting was an exercise in dredging up our failings and mis deeds. I found that really kept me stuck in the rut and unable to move forward into a positive place. So I began to skip the meetings and go walking or for a hike or run or doing some other positive thing like cooking a healthy meal or reading a positive story instead. I have found being pro active with my health instead of wallowing in the past at meetings (sorry just my take on it.) has been far more beneficial to me. I found that most of the people at the meetings were very unhealthy in general regardless of length of sobriety. 90% smoked and many were obese or obviously sedentary. I’m not judging I just feel there is too much melon what we did wrong in the past and not enough on what positive things we should be doing presently. Bottom like is try to substitute healthy activities for the old destructive ones. That time and space once used for self abuse needs to be filled with positive actions. Just my take on it. Whatever works for you keep on keeping on! Good luck all!!

  46. Lmichael 2 years ago

    I am reading Mrs D’s book and can relate to so much of what she said. I have finally come to the conclusion that I cannot drink anymore or I will die. I have just been diagnosed with a heart problem and need to look after myself. I binged on Friday and was a disgrace. Mrs D’s book arrived on my doorstep on Saturday morning… and we have been quitting together ๐Ÿ™‚
    So I am feeling all that she felt and using her methods at the moment . I like to think of my cosy bed and how lovely it will be snuggling with my partner …sober …. so that’s my method of the 5pm challenge so far !

  47. Lisa 2 years ago

    AS meetings and remembering what it feels like to wake up the next morning.

  48. Shebe 2 years ago

    So I had a crappy Monday and thought geeze a beer would taste good right now and I could forget about this day! (except for me it would take 5-6 beers) Instead I got home from work and reflected on the day and when I felt the peace from within in myself I scooped up my puppy and took her for a walk instead. This made us both happy…Living sober is better than living a lie…

  49. Gilly 2 years ago

    Thought about joining this site a few days ago and then felt virtuous enough to reward myself with a bottle of wine! And didn’t get round to joining. Go figure. I’m here today and no Wine. Should be Ok tomorrow and then face the “It’s Friday and I deserve it” battle. And the constant 5pm to 7pm craving during the week.
    It’s nice to know I’m not alone. Thanks for being there.

    • Anonymous 2 years ago

      Good luck Gilly – that 5pm to 7pm is my craving time as well. No you are not alone… and thanks to your post I don’t feel alone either.
      My first day and my first post – but probably my 100th Day One. Today I decided I would walk through the wine isle – 20 minutes ago – and not buy any wine and so far that has worked. Then I decided to check out this blog to get me through. And really amazed at how many others are so like me…..Thanks.

  50. Anonymous 2 years ago

    good morning worlds made it through day one!

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