Getting through wine o’clock

Late afternoon is often the hardest time to avoid drinking. This Sober Toolbox is a space for sharing tips on how to beat cravings, and for discovering new techniques that have worked for others. If you're looking for more discussion, interactions and feedback, head inside our Members Feed. That's where the real-time conversations take place.

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  1. christina123 1 year ago

    I’ve not had a wine since Sunday. My biggest challenge is my husband arrived home and wants a spa and a beer for a wind down from work so I tend to drink wine with him. I’m replacing it with fruit tea soda which mostly helps but the craving is still there.

  2. Ani123 1 year ago

    Really want to stop drinking I have a number of health issues and probably most are from drinking. Went from wine to gin and I know I drink a lot more than my family think although I’m pretty sure they have a good idea! Yesterday I didn’t have a drink first time in for ever. I’m getting into debt as well so things really need to change hoping being connected to others going through the same will help good luck to us all 😊

  3. Togo 1 year ago

    Very stressful day. Bought alcohol but didn’t drink it. So happy about the decision. I honestly need a change in many areas of my life. Being sober I rid my self of a friend, who is so very nice, but after a few months all he wanted me to be was his phone-a-friend. Always came to my house, but I could never go down to his. Everything became clear very quickly. Now if I was drinking, I would have put up with this behavior. I told him in no uncertain terms how I felt. The end is the same.. but I am glad I am clear to make decisions that would normally linger. Thanks for listening..

  4. liaron 1 year ago

    I’m getting angry about having to give up. My child mind says it’s not fair, and I should be able to keep drinking. My adult mind is remembering what it was like to be sober long ago, and enjoying the new clarity.

  5. Kasbar 1 year ago

    Really wanting to get off the habit wheel of wine every night but struggling to get there. Can manage a couple of days but then fall back into the trap. Hoping the positive stories and tips here are going to help.

  6. liaron 1 year ago

    Hi all, new here, no wine for three days. It’s good to hear how common the struggle at wine o’clock is. It hits me really hard. I love the tips and support.

  7. Ddee 1 year ago

    First time in reading the living sober toolbox. Great knowing I’m not alone. Just want to stop the wine every night. Its destroying me. Hearing others feelings is a great comfort

  8. JuicyLucyisgoingsober 1 year ago

    I have a list of stuff in my sober toolbox. If I’ve got a craving for a glass of wine I will tell myself to do three things from my sober toolbox and then I can have whatever I want.

    The craving soon passes, usually before I’ve moved on to the next item from my toolbox

    A favourite thing from the toolbox is to do a ten minute mindfulness exercise on resetting myself. I can do this with an app or just by sitting somewhere and breathing slowly and deeply. In through the mouth for the count of 5, hold for 2 (should be 3 but I don’t like the holding bit) out through the mouth for 5. Set a timer.

    Alcohol free beer is also a go to, ice cold with an ice cold pre chilled glass.

    Exercise for 20 minutes would also stop a craving. There’s 3. I’ll do another push tomorrow when I’m at my pc as my sober toolbox lust is big.

  9. DoneWining 1 year ago

    I’d love to hear how other mums of very young kids beat late afternoon/evening cravings. I’m sure it’s been well covered. There’s definitely no time for yoga, a walk, meditation, a bubble bath, self care etc etc. It’s non-stop noise and demands until 8.30pm in my house. What do other mums do to stay calm and keep energy levels up during this tricky part of the day?

    • Lauren409 1 year ago

      Yes I’m going to need help with this part too! I’m a mom of a 3 yr old and a 7 month old and evenings are my triggers! I love my babies more than anything but after a long day, momma wants her bottle of wine! I have yet to face this without wine. Today will be my first time. I’m 3 days sober but I’ve been working. Ok, wish me luck! And good luck to you as well. Let me know what helps for you!

    • Akira 1 year ago

      I’m a dad, but I typically do the post school thing: demands and breaking up of fights etc, as my wife works late. I’m always so adamant I’m not going to drink, but even if I’m not off to a night shift at the bar, I’ll get wine. Today is my first day of trying to get sober. I just hope my wife doesn’t bring wine home. If so what I find helps is to eat. If I eat before I’ve had a glass, then I find it easier to leave it.

    • fantail79 1 year ago

      I’ve got 4 kids and my drinking has dramatically increased since I became a parent. I find the 5 – 8pm part really really tough. and its near impossible to do anything but make tea, prepare for next day, clean up dishes, get kids ready bed, homework, baths, stories…its crazy – yoga and brisk walks just aren’t an option for me. I used to sneak out for a little cigarette (the only time of day I smoked) – but 6 months ago I quit this too hooray. I feel if I can quit smoking which was extremely difficult for me – I can ditch drinking too. I reckon if Im more organised for this time of day – I’ll cope better. Such as using slow cooker. Then look forward to zonking out on my bed with a good book, and do it all again the next day!

    • Trying2changemyreaction 1 year ago

      I’m curious what other people do too! I have two under the age of three and a beer always seemed to help me get through the witching hour, or so I thought. But then it made me want to have a beer earlier in the day when they were acting up and I couldn’t stop thinking about it as an option to help myself deal with The constant demands. I am trying to make space and time for myself when things get hectic, they do not like it. I know it is good for them to learn this lesson Of patience too. I’ve also tried changing the day so that we are outside or doing something away from the house at that hour and come home right before bed. I know this will be harder when it gets colder out. Please let me know how you are handling it. This is the first time I have reached out for support in my three week sobriety. The free to write anytime maybe we can help each other out 🙂

  10. Jay 1 year ago

    I made it 16 days without wine but today I felt very lonely. I tried to go out to dinner but all the places I went were full and with the virus I just didn’t want to risk going inside. I drove around for over an hour and then I decided I would just eat the really good food I already had prepared at home…and wine. I needed a friend and tried to find one but there was no one. So here I am, divorced 2 years and all alone with a friendly bottle of wine but I did make it 16 days without and tomorrow I will once again abstain. And try to find more friends 😉

  11. cutlerychoices 1 year ago

    Not a heavy drinker but I could be one day if I continue on this trajectory.
    I recently started thinking about how people become alcoholics. It’s not like it happens over night. It happens over a long period of time and more often choosing the unhealthy pathway. One day you realise that as you travel your path you are carrying a backpack full of wine. I’m choosing to unpack that backpack before it gets too heavy to carry. As wine o’clock arrives each day so does a new fork in my path. I’m choosing to take the longer path, with a lighter load. It’s not easy but maybe the 5pm pathway will not always be uphill, maybe one day it won’t even register as a fork.

    • Esmeralda 1 year ago

      I’ve always had insomnia even since I was a kid. but I was a competitive athlete and the more I exercise the better my sleep was. I found that when I drank wine I slept like the dead and slept through the whole night. It was actually great. But after a couple nights of drinking the nights I don’t drink my insomnia is horrific I’m up all night I stopped drinking a couple days ago and the first night I didn’t drink I didn’t sleep all night. second night I took a half a Advil PM which helped me but I didn’t like the way I felt in the morning. I think the nights you can’t sleep after drinking is just part of the withdrawal. for me it seems like it takes three or four days and then it goes away so I just tough to suffer through it. I think once I get through that part I’ll sleep better once I’ve detox from the alcohol.

    • fifimordy 1 year ago

      Hi there! I so relate to this and reading ‘The Wine O Clock Myth’ has completely changed my feeing that something was wrong with me that I couldn’t moderate. You could not be making a better decision for yourself, and I can’t wait to keep exploring this site and to try new alcohol free drink recipes. (The only one I attempted so far turned out like liquid marmalade!)

      • FabFitFun 1 year ago

        Hi. I’ve literally just joined today and perusing the site. I truly can’t believe how much I identify with what you’re saying. I feel the nights I wake up and can’t sleep are worse or more likely after drinking. Although, I often don’t sleep regardless of alcohol which was part of my rationalization. Ultimately, I figure I’m on a bad path, I’ve had regrets and why continue? Why have to have a personal low, a true rock bottom? This has been on my mind a lot and so I say ‘no more drinks’. It’s liberating but awkward. But, I’m determined it’ll be best for me and for my family to be the best version of me I can possibly be!

  12. Anonymous 1 year ago

    I’m not very good with words, and I don’t like sharing my feelings on social media but here goes,I don’t know what else to do? I am not in an healthy way with my drinking and I don’t know how to deal with it. I’ve had an issue With drinking for a long time, started off binge drinking on a Saturday night From the age of 18, to drinking on a daily basis when I broke up with my fiancé and moved in with an old friend/flatmate who had a breakdown and became an alcoholic. I started drinking nightly because I was unhappy and wanted to block everything bad happening out of my life. Not a healthy move to do. Now I drink a low percentage of bubbly wine about 5-6 days in my room alone, I hide it away from my mum because I am embarrassed. I live with my mum at the moment as I parted ways with the ex. I have just started taking Naltrexone & a diet pill to help with strong food cravings. I just want to get over the cravings for alcohol and stop drinking alcohol. I just drunk a bottle of wine and two glasses of red, I felt like I couldn’t stop.

    • SoberNJ 1 year ago

      I hope the new medication you started is as helpful to you as it is for me (it sounds like the same medication). Once I started taking the full dose I got to the point where I could take or leave alcohol. I wish you well.

  13. Maynard 2 years ago

    Hey there….I stopped drinking 14 days ago because I was on medication for diverticulitis which you can’t drink. I will say, that it is really one day at a time. I had the urge to drink after a tough day at work, but knew I just couldn’t or I would be seriously ill. I broke up with a horrible narcissist after 6 months 3 days ago. I would have killed for a drink…something inside of me, said no. I am counting down the days when I can restart to have “just one” because I deserve it…? I would be just so wonderful if I could by pass that urge to “reward myself” with no drinking with a ….drink? WHAT??? crazy. Its 4 in the morning now, and I fell asleep at about 8 pm last night. I found this site by accident online, and thank GOD I did! I really wanna maintain this sobriety…it is funny…the self respect I have for myself is astounding….I drink and chat on the phone because it was fun to relax and unwind…I am scared for my health now, and REALLY shouldn’t drink…….just one day at a time…I remember when I was a teen and all the other kids drank and I didn’t…I swam and sailed and was outside…I felt free and real….and did not want to drink as my parents drank…I saw the dark side of it….I just hope that I can get back to that beautiful strong little girl who believed in herself….5-7 is the worst. I will try the coke, lime, and ice trick….YAY….

  14. DebCali 2 years ago

    I am 4 days sober and am (or was a heavy drinker). I could knock back 2 bottles of Chardonnay a day every day, no problem. I’m a little woman but I could knock back a bottle like it was water. For 20 years I drank. Many times I went cold turkey for a few days. What scared me sober was my annual check up. My labs showed slightly elevated liver enzymes. She was not concerned but she recommended a liver ultrasound to rule out a fatty liver. I told my doctor, give me 30 days and I will be back for a follow up labs. It isn’t easy and wine 0’clock is the worst. Believe me I drank from 11 am to 8 pm. Then I passed out in bed only to do the same thing the next day. PLAN, Plan and plan for tomorrow. Write down a list of what you are going to do and say the mantra in your mind, I WILL NOT DRINK ALCOHOL FOR TODAY. Say it every morning. It ain’t easy. I walk my dogs for an hour at wine o’clock and it eases up the cravings. I do find 4 days sober, I have much more clarity in my mind. No brain fog. Put on your list also of planning to get at a chore you have been putting off in your home for the day. I am alone with my dogs, but I’m not lonely. I also find during the day when I get cravings, I go into forums on the net for cirrhosis and fatty liver. I read of what people are going through living with cirrhosis from years of drinking. Scares the daylights out of me. Jaundice, ascites, having fluids pumped out of your body as your liver can no longer do it, swelling, etc all because their livers are failing or are in danger. The liver is a miraculous organ and can heal itself. I also found this great forum that I am in now (Living Sober, hee hee) that gives me strength to go another day without drinking. I am an alcoholic and always will be, but I am an alcoholic in recovery for 4 days now and I plan to be an alcoholic in recovery until I leave this earth. I do not plan on relapsing. Thanks for listening 🙂

    • richardsburke 1 year ago

      Wow good for you !!! You are strong !! I have a really hard time every day during witching hour …. 4-7 pm…. I can go 4 days and then break down….
      I can’t seem to replace that initial relaxing feeling ( that doesn’t last anyway )….. I will keep going I guess…. and hope I get stronger or gain more will
      Power after day 4’s.

    • Anonymous 1 year ago

      Thank you

    • kevin29 2 years ago

      Great post DebCali. I can relate 100%. Scary what years of drinking can do. Keep on working. It works if you work it.

      • shethoma 1 year ago

        Great post. Your words hit home with me. Keep up the great work for yourself.

  15. Tassie 2 years ago

    Early evening is surely tough. I’m 13 days into being alcohol free. I didn’t realise how strong my drinking habit had become. Following a 3 month lay off for health reasons, I started drinkng again – 5 or 6 or so a night sometimes more. I really enjoyed feeling well when I wasn’t drinking. I slept better and didn’t have that awful brain fog in the morning. My memory improved a bit and the guilt and talks of ‘never going to drink THAT much again’, disappeared. Yesterday afternoon after a competitive sport event that day (that I lost unfortunately), I thought I might just be able to have one, maybe two drinks at the most with the other competitors. I had a coke thank goodness. On the way home all I could think about was relaxing with a beer or wine or 2 (or 6 because I know I won’t stop at 2). Instead I had a hot shower, then chocked a tall glass with ice, squeezed half a lime into it and poured in the coke. I sipped, breathed deeply and sat in my chair and it felt just as good as that first few swallows of alcohol. I know it’s partly about the ritual because I’m an ex smoker too so I’m trying to focus on the ritual side of things. I can highly recommend coke, lime and ice for wine o’clock. With lots of ice. One can does 2 drinks (sugar conscious now dammit!). Good luck everybody. It’s tough.

    • kevin29 2 years ago

      Great post Tassie. The coke, lime and ice sounds great. Will definitely try that.

    • kevin29 2 years ago

      Great post DebCali. I can relate 100%. Scary what years of drinking can do. Keep on working. It works if you work it.

      • DebCali 2 years ago

        Thank you, I am going to try Tassie’s drink too!

  16. soberup 2 years ago

    Wine O’clock really sucks big time for me.

  17. Mim123 2 years ago

    This is Day 1 for me (many times over. I’m 64 and thought when I retired I would stop drinking because I always blamed work for my stress. Two years in and I’m up to a bottle and a half a night😰 I’m fed up with this merry go round and desperately want to look after myself. Tonight in my fridge I have alcohol free wine, alcohol free gin, tonic, soda water and kombucha… I’m going to try really hard not to reach for the wine.

    • Paqal 1 year ago

      Hi Mim123, your situation sounds very similar to mine! At what point do we get soo sick of the merry go round that we finally say, to hell with it, I don’t need this in my life any more!
      I feel that moment is upon us now. That is why we are sharing these thoughts and feelings. We can kick this nasty habit once and for all. Plenty of others just like us have kicked it. Why should we be the only ones left wrecking our lives choosing every day to go back to the bottle.
      Yesterday for me was day one, AGAIN…. but I do feel a new resolve.
      Someone else said the first 10 days are the hardest and after 10 days the alcohol is finally out of your system, so my goal right now is 10 days. After that I’m not going to worry about the future, just one foot after the other.
      So how about it? Ten days. With me?

      • springer 1 year ago

        I really can relate to your post. I am in for 10 days! I have tried af free wine before and it really helped me get past the first two weeks af. I will be going out today to buy a bottle for tonight. I am hopeful staying connected on this site will seal the deal for me. I feel so much better when I am not drinking .

    • 51livingwell 2 years ago

      Oh gosh your situation sounds just like mine. So sick of the roundabout of saying I’m quitting then drinking again. Also have a bottle on non alcohol wine in the fridge.

  18. Anonymous 2 years ago

    Hi All, this group is amazing. It reminds me that I am not alone and that soon I will join the ranks of the millions who are not enslaved by alcohol. I am a currently a one bottle a day drinker (on a good day). This can increase depending on the availability of booze in the house. Due to COVID there was an alcohol ban in my country, which made securing wine by any means or cost possible more valuable to me than any other activity during the period. As soon as I had some, even if it was a single bottle (which might not be replaced for weeks) I had to drink it all at one go. Of course if I could not get my hands on red wine, I would drink anything that’s available.

    During the lockdown I diligently exercised every single day with very little progress, because I refused to give up alcohol which is the primary reason for my excess weight. Once the ban was lifted I stockpiled on red wine, and hence the one bottle a day situation.

    I am tired of the person I am due to drinking. I stopped a while back for over a year. I can’t recall how I felt, neither can I tell you if I was happy. I was not in the mental space to be sober. I think I am now, I am happier than I have ever been and yet the physical urge to drink when wine ‘o clock comes around overrides my mental will not to.

  19. Good life 2 years ago

    Hi, there are great falvoured tonics around now (eg cucumber, grapefruit). I often have one, with a dash of bitters, and the chink of ice after a tricky day. I also have a box of them in the house to offer friends, or to take out with me when going to others’ for dinner or drinks. Having something that is sort of funky and contemporary is the way I make it attractive, so it is special, like a treat, and not inadequate or out of kilter with others.
    I guess I’m stll subject to marketing with me buying the tonics, but it doesn’t feel so bad as all the alcohol marketing manipulation.
    (I still do drink wine, but just a sip of communion wine on Sunday mornings at an Anglican church, all very low key.)
    Kia kaha to all you good people with bigger challenges than me.

  20. LovelyGram 2 years ago

    Hello everyone I’m in my mid-70s and this is my first day not drinking. Oh I’ve had other first days without wine even several days. But I’m alone and I’m isolated here in my apartment and I drink for comfort. And I wake up at three in the morning I can’t go back to sleep. I know I’m not alone, that you are all with me, and I appreciate that. My children believe that I don’t drink anymore. But it’s worse, it’s the very worst when I am alone. And that’s why it’s so bad now. I drink more than one bottle and sometimes I start in the morning. It’s seriously affecting my health and I must stop, I want to stop, and I am stopping. Thank you for all being here with me

    • Sobersides 2 years ago

      Dear LovelyGram
      I am just like you, same age, same living alone in an apartment and drinking not only because it fills in time but also ,darn it, because I like it! And one bottle was never enough. If there was another available then it would follow the first right down the little red tunnel! If you have grandkids you will recognise that saying. I am not supposed to drink either having had bowel cancel and the sulphates in the wine have disastrous effects I can tell you. Also wake up at 3am with a horribly dry mouth but after 3 days it seems a little better. We have to keep on keeping on I guess and not give in but it is so hard. With you all the way.

      • LovelyGram 2 years ago

        Sobersides, that three am thirst was so bad! Thank you for the information about the sulfiates in wine. I didn’t know that part, but I know the white is so bad for my whole digestive system. And I don’t have the thirst anymore when I wake up and I do wake up but I get to go back to sleep without too much trouble. I’m glad for that. I’m glad for so much. This is day three for me. And it’s now 630 and things are a little tough right now. This is wine o’clock although I could start drinking in the morning anytime too. If the wine is in my house I drink it and if it’s not in my house I go and get it. That’s my habit, that was my habit. And then of course I have to eat with the drink so I piled on the pounds. But now I’m on the way to new habits and I’m grateful for that. With you all the way too.

  21. nevertooold 2 years ago

    I find a special drink that I only allow myself to have during cocktail hour. Lately, it has been tonic with lime.

    • Digby 2 years ago

      That’s a good idea,

  22. Lisa 2 years ago

    When 5pm rolls around I’m immediately drawn to the wine bottle. I’m looking for tips and tricks to avoid the wine o’clock for me.

  23. K 2 years ago


    It is 9 am I Hardly ever drank till menapause early 40. Started 2 glasses red wine after work I told myself good for the heart. A lot of heart disease in family. Now 1-2 bottles every night. Hate it never thought I would be having conversations in my head about drinking left side says yes right side says you don’t need it left always wins. Thanks for listening k

  24. mazza 2 years ago

    Hi I’m 66, have drank only on weekends since I was 20. Breast cancer at 60, still limited drinks to weekend. But since lockdown a bottle and a half of wine a day. I know alcohol causes hormone receptive breast cancer which is what I had, yet I cant stop, every night I cant sleep, my heart and head throb, I say no more, I have a bottle in the fridge but cant tip it out. If I dont drink today, I’ll be 2 days without. It’s so hard 😵😔

    • Potiki 2 years ago

      I hear you i am 56 this year and have always struggled with my drinking. Basically I have realised I can’t social drink anymore. If I start I struggle to stop. I too got up to a bottle of wine a day during COVID and I am freaking out about it. I am surprised ans scared about how easy it has become to polish off an entire bottle. I joined here four years ago ans did really nothing with it so I am back to try again. It’s anither day and a bigger challenge. Be kind to yourself you’re doing so well to even seek support

  25. campion 2 years ago

    Day Two. Day one I was anxious about wine time. I usually drink after work to relax and I look forward to that.
    I had sleepy time tea instead, watched TV and went to bed a lot later then usual. Had a hard time getting to sleep
    but once I did I only woke up once instead of three o’clock wishing i didn’t drink so much then tossing and turning.
    I feel great today! Cant wait for day three!

    • Leo@ 2 years ago

      How is it going? I’m on the end of my day 2. I hear you about going to bed later, but the next morning is still better than an ‘early night’ with alcohol!!

  26. HannaHarris 2 years ago

    So good to read all these posts- makes me feel better knowing the only one who is struggling to moderate my drinking.

  27. AFNZ 2 years ago

    2 days goes by and that seems to be the max I can go without a drink. I dont drink to get drunk, I can down a bottle and feel like thats enough but why cant i kick it? I am a 30 year old solo mother to an ADHD little boy. TIMES ARE TOUGH, he is severe. When im not getting rag dolled im either picking him up from school for hurting people or trying my best to dismantle a high intensity situation. Im in the midst of a nursing degree, I have been diagnosed with post traumatic stress and general depression 2 years ago and have come so far since them and I looked at by many as a strong independent women and I do think of myself like that sometimes. BUT WHY cant I kick the drink. I, drinking a wine right now due to an absolute terror of a day. When your supports are gone and it is all up to you how can I find a better way to spend my time. For my health, for my son and for me?

  28. jonny 2 years ago

    Wine o’clock
    The story of my girlfriend
    Some months ago she had a wine one glass on Friday night
    During the lockdown it was one glass every night till in recent weeks it was always more than one glass most nights
    It was the wind that Got her
    I really couldn’t believe it going for one glass on Friday night to a bottle almost every night within a month or two
    Time she said I’m only gonna have one but by Thursday night it was always more than one
    More than one she said I’m gonna stop doing that I’ll just have one
    But as you know by Thursday night it was one bottle
    The moral of my story is it’s not you it’s the one she’s a lovely person but the wine got her
    She said she’s quit now here’s hoping

  29. LaraK310 2 years ago

    I’m new to the group. I don’t know if anyone can relate to this but I seem to mainly binge drink on the weekends. I’ve almost disciplined myself to not incorporate drinking into my work week schedule -like Monday-Thursday but when Friday rolls around, I spend the weekend drinking in large amounts. I wish I could figure out how to carryover that mentality of not drinking into the weekend. I want to quit for health reasons-I’m mid 40s and overweight with high blood pressure. I know this isn’t helping me.

    • Kewpee 2 years ago

      Hey LaraK -I hear ya, I’m the same pattern. It’s nuts, my weekends are so precious after a gruelling work week and I drink them away or lie in bed recovering from the night before. Why ?? Is it to wind down from the stress? To “treat” myself or is it an absence of better things to do? I really want to change this pattern and I know my family need me to.
      I’ve joined this forum today as a first step….
      I’m going to really think about this pattern and try and find some alternative behaviours to circuit break.
      I spoke to my family today about it and I was shocked how much they had noticed and were worried about me.
      Confronting but perhaps they can help me too……
      Some suggestions they had for me
      – don’t have wine in the house to start with
      – go for a walk at the time I would normally start drinking Friday 6pm
      – find things I like to do on Saturday and Sunday mornings so I can’t be hungover
      – take more time out for myself during the week so the stress doesn’t “build up”
      I’m gonna give it a try … hope you are doing ok and we can both find a way out of this pattern we are in x

      • Corinna 2 years ago

        I am the same guys. SO weird as I am unsure what drives the behaviour – I think it is that FOMO feeling ie – not wanting to NOT do stuff on the weekend and have fun, do crazy stuff etc. I am 13 days sober. We can do this though!!

  30. jess1989 2 years ago

    Hey people
    So I joined 4 days ago and just logged back in now while I’m having a drink. I can’t seem to shake the need to drink alcohol every night .it’s so hard. And I don’t even drink to get Drunk I drink so I can sleep at night. The nights I don’t drink it takes me hours to fall asleep. I go to bed and toss and turn for hours. I am on medication for that. But yet the nights I drink I sleep like a baby. So it’s so hard to not drink. I’m at the point where I’m so over drinking but also feel I’m dependent on it.

    • Potiki 2 years ago

      Hi there,

      I am in a similar boat. I am so over my drinking yet I feel so dependent on it. Really scared to break the cycle and also I seem to keep failing. I have given up in my head so many times ans I go along fine for a bit but then something happens I just get ducked in again. At the moment it’s around day three – which is today – that my brain starts to kick in to needing that drink. Our minds are so powerful. You’re in the right place here it’s so supportive ans a lifeline for me at the moment. Be kind to yourself 🙂

    • charlotteritter 2 years ago

      Hi Jess – I find doing my exercise in the evening after work and showering at night helps me sleep, hot milk milo before bed, keep your room for sleep and relaxing only (e.g. not work). I know these are kind of lame suggestions, but maybe try and see if any of them help. No screens etc etc 😉

    • mcom 2 years ago

      Hi Jess, I’m very much inthe same place as you. It’s really hard to not drink if you know you wont get a good night’s sleep. Can relate

  31. 101Days 2 years ago

    Hi All, I just joined this group. I am looking to connect (virtually) with others who are quitting drinking without a 12 step program. I have quit or limited drinking on and off for various short-ish term reasons: taking a class, doing a cleanse, etc. This is the first time I have decided to actually QUIT, as in never again. I have just NOT been able to moderate my drinking of wine, to the point where last week I was drinking because I felt as if I physically needed it — really physically needed it. I cut myself down to one trip a week to the wine store for 3 bottles of wine — gone in three days of course plus 6oz of Whiskey as well! (Which was ok, or so I thought for the week-end) Then, I realized that the four days I would have to wait for my next weeks allotment were becoming a mentally foggy, un-productive, count down to my next supply. After surfing a few sites and watching Dr. Amen’s TV presentation about brain health, I decided to make the choice to quit drinking. I LOVE wine, I LOVE the warm fuzzy feeling I get from it — problem was that I drank so much that feeling was gone — unquenchable. So here it is wine-o-clock where I live, and I’m going for a wine glass filled with Perrier — a helpful placebo. Cheers!

  32. Phaedra 2 years ago

    As of late, I have found that warmer days have seen an increase in my cravings. For me, Allen Carr has been very helpful when the sun starts to set. I remind myself of my choice to be free of poison, followed by the fact that there was no actual benefit for me when I consumed alcohol. Everything I want in life, all that actually makes me feel good lives outside the bottle.

    • DesperateHousewife 2 years ago

      Phaedra, your post is inspirational for me. I have just joined and have been reading through the members’ feed. I’m 68 and have been drinking too much (for my health and for my liking) for years and years. I’ve tried to stop once or twice and felt better immediately but I am drawn back to the late-afternoon drink. The wine-o’clock concept hits it right on the head – except that my first drink (or two) is scotch. Then comes the wine with dinner, and maybe while watching TV or a film. Inevitably, the next morning, I feel yukky – not quite hungover but not quite sober, either. I hate that feeling. Your reference to ‘…my choice to be free of poison…’ was really helpful to me in my foggy state as I type this. Thank you.

    • houghton2020 2 years ago

      I love the last line. I will use that today – thanks.

  33. Tania 2 years ago

    Alcoholic beverages are a “social lubricant.” At holiday and other parties, bouts of excessive drinking can seem like part of the celebration. But here’s something to think about as you raise your glass: drinking too much alcohol at a party — or at any time — can be a sign of alcohol use disorder (AUD). Remember that everything can happen, either one way or the other, but it is us who control how we react to it. Things do not come to us from outside, our lives are what we create. Therefore, we need to remain attentive and not sweep things under the rug. Pay close attention to your actions, to your daily habits, to the routines, notice even small changes, take note of what and why things happen, be proactive, choose wisely the people you surround yourself with, mind the language you use, take good care of your mental and physical well-being. These things might sound very general but when you look closely they matter each step of the journey. If you want more information, check this book – net-bossorg/how-to-help-an-alcoholic-you-love

  34. electrocity 2 years ago

    if wine o clock also transfers to beer o clock then I am mid struggle, hind sight says I should have removed the copious amounts of beers in my fridge before I got to the moment where we are having a staring contest, I found it quite hard to not try and justify having a beerreakfast this morning and managed that one ok, but now is a different kettle of fish, actively avoiding the temptation in any way possible, any grand ideas out there that don’t involve me going near the fridge? TIA

  35. Glenys 2 years ago

    Oh boy , wine o’clock, hardest time of the day, first 2 days over…………..

  36. Mez15 2 years ago

    Yeah Im definetly a wine o’clock mum….It just seems so cliche but its true…Ilove going to the store to get the wine, buying it, the first sip. It just seems relaxing and fun and a splash of colour in a dull day. I have hobbies and friends and things to do…but nothing seems to hit the spot. I know I can get through without it, but do I really want to I wonder or I would have beaten this by now….After 30 years now it all seems tiresome and boring….

    • Anonymous 2 years ago

      Hi Mez- I know this is quite a while ago but I found that verjus, a non alcoholic fermented grape product helped me with that. It tastes similar to a sweet red and helped me through a couple of especially difficult wine o clocks

  37. retkchabot 2 years ago

    Hi Vanilla,
    Your story is my exact story. You mentioned disulfiram. What exactly is this and how does it help?

  38. Penelope16 2 years ago

    Day 10! Last night was really hard. It seems to help for me to have everything from 4:30 to about 7:30 really planned out. Keep busy and try not to think too much. Eye on the prize, which is me fitting into all these amazing clothes I have and can’t wear!! Being healthy and free!! Hang in there, if I can do it, you can too.

  39. k 2 years ago

    I am a new mom to a 3 month old. I have a great job house and husband …… most would look at my life and say, “huh? She doesn’t have a drinking problem.” I am very good a functioning while drinking a bottle of wine or more a night. (ill go two nights of drinking like this and then stop for 2 days and repeat.) I have started to drink more alcohol recently maybe because of the chaos that is going on or maybe I’m more stressed than I think I really am. When 3 o clock rolls around and work is wrapping up for the day the thought of buying wine is constantly on my mind. The rush feeling of going to the store, buying the wine, opening it, and then taking that first sip — it almost seems like a ritual. I run in countless circles in my mind should I drink? NO … yes no yes … its awful, embarrassing, frustrating!!! I have an apt this Thursday with my doctor to discuss naltraxone because I have tried AA, therapists, counseling … I go for a little while and then talk myself out of it and say everything is in order. Does anyone have experience with naltraxone?

    • kys1 2 years ago

      Wow I relate to your story in such a way had tears in my eyes, i was on naltrexzone for 4 months at one point and supported by a councillor who I visited once per week which really helped at that time

    • Rachel Miller 2 years ago

      Hi K,

      Yes I have been taking Naltrexone for a few months now. In the beginning it worked like a charm and helped me cut down my drinking by 90%! It was literally my saving grace but seems to have lost its potency after a time. I’m not sure why that happens or if it’s just all in my head? However, the key is to just take it every single day because if you don’t take it, it definitely won’t work! HAHA Have you been taking it?

  40. Vanilla 2 years ago

    Hi everyone, I am new to this group today. Im in my 50s and have been drinking heavily for over 30 years. I was drinking 5 nights a week until the Lockdown, now I’m drinking every day. I normally drink 2-3 bottles, of wine, every night. I usually drink alone and potter around doing housework then watch a movie (I have no idea how the movies ended the next day) Anyway I am down to my last 3 bottles of wine today and do not want to buy anymore! I have disulfiram to take but need to be off the booze for 24 hours beforehand.
    I am so over all that wine! I drink loads of water and exercise most days, so would be healthy if I didn’t drink. Help please …

    • Helga 2 years ago

      vanilla – you are my story. Thank you for your honesty. What is disulfiram?

    • Lovemyself2020 2 years ago

      Hi Vanilla, it sounds as though we could be twins lol. How’s it going for you???

    • jagga21 2 years ago

      hi vanilla – you’re my mirror! early 50’s, drink 2 x bottles wine a night, 7 nites, drink lots of water – lost a very special person because of the booze. went on a bender last night
      i’m definately here for you – tip those bottles out – we don’t need it now

      • Minesawater 2 years ago

        echoing all these comments as a new comer to the site. I think the water and exercise are a way of trying to control what you know is out of control. I have managed to change so many areas of my life and would be a much fitter , lighter and wealthier person if it wasn’t for the booze. for me as well, the drink became a reward system for the exercise – to the point i felt i was exercising purely so i could drink later – rather than the benefits of the exercise itself

  41. jagga21 2 years ago

    Hi all – currently working through a 28 day fitness challenge – we have a positive vibe post, a new one every day that has to be completed – here’s my day 6 positive vibe. thought it was quite fitting for us all

  42. ojoj 2 years ago

    Hi (again). I just feel so angry that I cannot make it stick. I can make a couple of days and then cave. I am on autopilot to the shop to buy my bottle (but less for two bottles so might do that!), home, pour, sip. That 1 bottle goes so quickly, up and down from couch to fridge. If that 2nd bottle is there I start on that. Go to bed too late and too fuzzy. Wake in the morning feeling dreadful, looking worse. Swear never again and then 4/5pm comes and it starts again. So tired of it. Day 1 (again).

    • jagga21 2 years ago

      Howsabout we do day 1 together – and especially around 5pm today – i’ll contact you and see what you’re up to and vice versa? when i look in the mirror – i see shame and a withering person when i really want to shape up, look fantastic and feel like someone will want me to be part of their life one day, before it’s too late

    • jagga21 2 years ago

      that’s exactly how i do it too – feeling really flat this morning – autopilot to the bottlestore – perfect expression. and i had it in my head yesterday – pretty much most of the day that i wasn’t going to have any last night – ended up 2.5 bottles. wine o’clock during this lockdown seems just the perfect perfect time to forget about my boring day. instead of cooking a nice meal, picking up a book, ringing someone – nup – into it

      • MissPK 2 years ago

        Hi Jagga21 – read your post you sound like me! are you up to doing a 1/1 support check in? I would like to do the same…you are three weeks ahead of me. Tired of drinking a bottle every night! The only solution for me is cold turkey – if I have one glass, the bottle is a goner. Let me know where you are on your journey and I’d love to do 1 day at a time with someone.

  43. Gavin01 2 years ago

    Hey everyone,
    I’m so glad I joined the community this morning. For me it’s given me some hope that I can get rid of alcohol out of my life.
    I’m 41 years old and have always had alcohol in my adult life. Wine o’clock is the worst thing for me. I only drink red wine. I tell myself in the morning “right, no alcohol tonight”. By 5pm, I’m ready for a glass. And as I cook dinner, 1 glass will always lead to 3 glasses. After dinner I can stop, but lately, and through the lockdown period I’ve been drinking even more. 1 glass has lead to 4 quite comfortably.
    The most awful thing happened last night. I had no red wine in the house so started drinking gin instead. It’s embarrassing to say out loud that I don’t even like gin but needed alcohol. I had too much. I feel so guilty and I do genuinely hate alcohol.
    Today marks day one of leaving alcohol behind ?

    • jagga21 2 years ago

      How did it go last nite gavin? i got smashed after doing exactly the same thing as you – ‘right, no alcohol tonight’ – i felt sooo confident right up to about 4pm after my long walk – almost like i needed to celebrate doing such a good long walk and i’m getting healthier

      • Anonymous 2 years ago

        I feel the same way — if im sad alcohol. happy? alcohol. went all day without alcohol .. lets drink alcohol. ugh.

  44. Gavin01 2 years ago

    Day 1. No more alcohol. I need to change this awful habit.

  45. Luke77 2 years ago

    Hi everyone,
    I’m new to the group:). Its been a few months since my last drink which I’m loving, but it hasn’t been easy. I’m hoping with time it will. Has anyone out there got some tips
    that they find that works when times get tough? Hope you are all safe and well:)


  46. aNewDay 2 years ago

    It’s day one for me. Wish me luck!

    • Vanilla 2 years ago

      Good luck! ?

    • Tom4500 2 years ago

      Good luck! Three days later, I know. Hope its going well, how are you doing?

  47. deborah34 2 years ago

    Well here is a drinking story! I did dry January and February as part of a 60 day challenge. I did not drink for 65 days. I felt great. In that time I went to a music festival, Elton John concert (by myself!) and went to lots of social gatherings that were all based around booze. Guess what? I survived! I had a good time, I loved being the sober driver. At day 66 a friend of mine, who had also done the challenge, was leaving the country for good (two weeks ago today) so a small group of friends decided that it was important to have send off drinks. I did not over do it, was able to drive home etc. I think I managed a few more alcohol free days before slipping back into my old drinking habits, drinking wine everyday etc. Last night I had driends around and I drank a whole bottle of wine, just like that, eazy peazy. I do not feel great today, dissappointed that I have no control of how much wine I drank. Anyway, I was checking my emails and there was one from Sunday Morning so I opened it. Long story short, it lead me to this site, I went to join, apparently my email was already in use! I had to change my password to get back into it. Scary thing is I cannot remember joining up the first time, must have been drunk at the time. This week I set a goal not to drink for 4 nights, I managed 1! I have a problem! My daughter is reading a book called The Naked Mind, all about the evils of alcohol, youtube it, the author has lots of mini turtorials, support etc. Day one of no alcohol. I am hoping this site will help me. It is not easy, our commercial society go to great lengths to get us drinking and addicted. For example, putting gin in a feminine looking bottle, making it pink and calling it ‘Blush’, clever marketing indeed. We have been conditioned to believe we deserve/need a drink, its a tough battle to fight.

    • Itsanewdawn 2 years ago

      I think it’s a thing with the site it said my email was in use as well but I know I hadn’t attempted to join before so ignore that!

    • ojoj 2 years ago

      I too have quit before (14 months), then started drinking again because I didn’t want to be a non drinker – because I’m not comfortable in my skin! I really don’t know who I am without alcohol. Now it’s a bottle a night and I can’t seem to string more than a few days together.

    • tautoko 2 years ago

      I k ow exactly what you mean I went 90 days apparently twice the time it takes to train the body to kick a habit to the curb felt great could defeat anything life was great did a few social gatherings no drinking and then without me even seeing it had a big drink to send my friend off to Dubai what a few harmless drinks turned into complete obliteration cant remember going back home isnt it so easy. So back on the wagon again positives are I know I have the ability to stop/cold Turkey it that’s great but that little “alcohol drink till there’s no more” gremlin is and maybe will always be there but now I’m totally aware and what triggers it its game on all the best in your journey kia kaha

  48. venus 2 years ago

    It’s been almost three months for me and thought that I was past wine o’clock. Last night was one of my hardest. After a day of letting the Caron virus scare get to me I started to cry at 5:00. I had decaf coffee, herbal tea, and various sparkling waters until 8:00 when I finally went to bed. That was literally the first time I didn’t think I’d make it. Happy to report that I feel much better today. I wasn’t prepared for this test but have decided to lean in and get through it. Thanks for listening whoever is out there.

    • deborah34 2 years ago

      Hang in, well done to you,

  49. molly 2 years ago

    I stopped drinking (wine) for 6 years and felt soooo good. Not really sure why I started drinking it again about a year ago. Desperately want to stop again as my blood pressure has risen as a result. Don’t drink excessively – 2 glasses a day, but now reading that this IS excessive and also reading that there is NO amount of alcohol that is good for us – not what the wine makers what us to know. Evening is the tough time – any suggestions are very, very welcome. Thank you ALL!

    • anonymous 2 years ago

      I have been watching so much TV to check out in a way that is not booze. it’s not ideal but i am giving myself this break for a bit.

      26 days sober today

      Bojack Horseman is really funny and about an alcoholic – i know it’s a cartoon but just give it a try

    • clearskies 2 years ago

      I just crossed day 26 off of my calendar of no alcohol. I am not sure the last time I went this long with no alcohol at all. It is hard to admit but I think it may have been December of 2012, nearly 7 years ago. I remember three gleaming months of sobriety and I felt so happy. It’s crazy how it sneaks up on you, and how I made excuses for it, not wanting to admit it was an issue. But now I can feel my emotions pulsing through me like electrical currents, like neurons are firing and waking up, so I can tell that I was really numbing myself.

      Anyway, I have been watching a LOT of television. And I don’t usually watch television. MindHunter on Netflix is great, and Bojack Horseman for some really funny mindless comedy, and Bojack has a drinking problem so it is extra funny.

      I love the idea of warm grape juice that someone mentioned below as well, to help with afternoon and evening cravings.

  50. JACHALK 2 years ago

    Hi, I’m new on here, I’ve just read some wonderful courageous comments! I’m 49 years old and have two children, well they are adults now, my daughter married and moved over to America (I’m in Australia) and my son left home a couple of years ago, but he lives close. I’ve always drunk wine at night, but when they left, it’s was a gaping hole in my life that I felt I had to fill……
    The worst part is, my birth mother was an alcoholic, and she left my sister who was 6, myself who was 2 and my brother who was 6 months old…. she left us in a car and went on a binge….. luckily a neighbor who looked out for us found us and brought us to her house and called my dad who was away working. We never saw her again. I heard she died at age 43 from alcoholism ( she was 25 when she left)… most recently my sister died she was 49 years old and she died of alcoholic hepatitis….So you’d think that the last thing I would do is drink every single night. I really want to stop I gave up for six months a year ago and it felt great, so I know it’s possible. The funny thing is I can go without, But I cannot have Just one. Before I know it the whole bottle is gone. Any tips?

    • Davinci 2 years ago

      Its tough alright I’m 46 worked hard my whole life and drank most days,unless I was too hungover.I can’t remember ever stopping for longer than a week but after hitting some PB Lows went to councilling and haven’t had a drop for 14months.
      Not a day goes by without thinking about drinking but like you I can never stop at 1 or 2 I have to finish the lot.
      Hardest thing I find now is socializing which I now avoid all but the most important social occasions which means no party’s no pub no bbqs I guess I’m a hermit now. Hopefully it gets easier. Be Strong!

    • EllieJane 2 years ago

      I feel the sane as you. Your story about your mum is really shocking. I understand how awful that must feel. For someone to leave their children alone like that to go drinking. And then to never see her again. Devastating. Have you had therapy around that? ‘The primal wound is a good book to read. I am adopted. I was 5 days old. It is horrible that your own mother left you. Other adopted people are good to talk to sometimes if they have done the emotional work. I am wanting to give up drinking also. My real mum has alzheimers. Big incentive to cut it out now at 50yrs.

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