Getting through wine o’clock

Late afternoon is often the hardest time to avoid drinking. This Sober Toolbox is a space for sharing tips on how to beat cravings, and for discovering new techniques that have worked for others. If you're looking for more discussion, interactions and feedback, head inside our Members Feed. That's where the real-time conversations take place.

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  1. jagga21 8 months ago

    Hi all – currently working through a 28 day fitness challenge – we have a positive vibe post, a new one every day that has to be completed – here’s my day 6 positive vibe. thought it was quite fitting for us all

  2. ojoj 8 months ago

    Hi (again). I just feel so angry that I cannot make it stick. I can make a couple of days and then cave. I am on autopilot to the shop to buy my bottle (but less for two bottles so might do that!), home, pour, sip. That 1 bottle goes so quickly, up and down from couch to fridge. If that 2nd bottle is there I start on that. Go to bed too late and too fuzzy. Wake in the morning feeling dreadful, looking worse. Swear never again and then 4/5pm comes and it starts again. So tired of it. Day 1 (again).

    • jagga21 8 months ago

      Howsabout we do day 1 together – and especially around 5pm today – i’ll contact you and see what you’re up to and vice versa? when i look in the mirror – i see shame and a withering person when i really want to shape up, look fantastic and feel like someone will want me to be part of their life one day, before it’s too late

    • jagga21 8 months ago

      that’s exactly how i do it too – feeling really flat this morning – autopilot to the bottlestore – perfect expression. and i had it in my head yesterday – pretty much most of the day that i wasn’t going to have any last night – ended up 2.5 bottles. wine o’clock during this lockdown seems just the perfect perfect time to forget about my boring day. instead of cooking a nice meal, picking up a book, ringing someone – nup – into it

      • MissPK 7 months ago

        Hi Jagga21 – read your post you sound like me! are you up to doing a 1/1 support check in? I would like to do the same…you are three weeks ahead of me. Tired of drinking a bottle every night! The only solution for me is cold turkey – if I have one glass, the bottle is a goner. Let me know where you are on your journey and I’d love to do 1 day at a time with someone.

  3. Gavin01 8 months ago

    Hey everyone,
    I’m so glad I joined the community this morning. For me it’s given me some hope that I can get rid of alcohol out of my life.
    I’m 41 years old and have always had alcohol in my adult life. Wine o’clock is the worst thing for me. I only drink red wine. I tell myself in the morning “right, no alcohol tonight”. By 5pm, I’m ready for a glass. And as I cook dinner, 1 glass will always lead to 3 glasses. After dinner I can stop, but lately, and through the lockdown period I’ve been drinking even more. 1 glass has lead to 4 quite comfortably.
    The most awful thing happened last night. I had no red wine in the house so started drinking gin instead. It’s embarrassing to say out loud that I don’t even like gin but needed alcohol. I had too much. I feel so guilty and I do genuinely hate alcohol.
    Today marks day one of leaving alcohol behind ?

    • jagga21 8 months ago

      How did it go last nite gavin? i got smashed after doing exactly the same thing as you – ‘right, no alcohol tonight’ – i felt sooo confident right up to about 4pm after my long walk – almost like i needed to celebrate doing such a good long walk and i’m getting healthier

      • Anonymous 8 months ago

        I feel the same way — if im sad alcohol. happy? alcohol. went all day without alcohol .. lets drink alcohol. ugh.

  4. Gavin01 8 months ago

    Day 1. No more alcohol. I need to change this awful habit.

  5. Luke77 8 months ago

    Hi everyone,
    I’m new to the group:). Its been a few months since my last drink which I’m loving, but it hasn’t been easy. I’m hoping with time it will. Has anyone out there got some tips
    that they find that works when times get tough? Hope you are all safe and well:)


  6. aNewDay 8 months ago

    It’s day one for me. Wish me luck!

    • Vanilla 8 months ago

      Good luck! ?

    • Tom4500 8 months ago

      Good luck! Three days later, I know. Hope its going well, how are you doing?

  7. deborah34 9 months ago

    Well here is a drinking story! I did dry January and February as part of a 60 day challenge. I did not drink for 65 days. I felt great. In that time I went to a music festival, Elton John concert (by myself!) and went to lots of social gatherings that were all based around booze. Guess what? I survived! I had a good time, I loved being the sober driver. At day 66 a friend of mine, who had also done the challenge, was leaving the country for good (two weeks ago today) so a small group of friends decided that it was important to have send off drinks. I did not over do it, was able to drive home etc. I think I managed a few more alcohol free days before slipping back into my old drinking habits, drinking wine everyday etc. Last night I had driends around and I drank a whole bottle of wine, just like that, eazy peazy. I do not feel great today, dissappointed that I have no control of how much wine I drank. Anyway, I was checking my emails and there was one from Sunday Morning so I opened it. Long story short, it lead me to this site, I went to join, apparently my email was already in use! I had to change my password to get back into it. Scary thing is I cannot remember joining up the first time, must have been drunk at the time. This week I set a goal not to drink for 4 nights, I managed 1! I have a problem! My daughter is reading a book called The Naked Mind, all about the evils of alcohol, youtube it, the author has lots of mini turtorials, support etc. Day one of no alcohol. I am hoping this site will help me. It is not easy, our commercial society go to great lengths to get us drinking and addicted. For example, putting gin in a feminine looking bottle, making it pink and calling it ‘Blush’, clever marketing indeed. We have been conditioned to believe we deserve/need a drink, its a tough battle to fight.

    • Itsanewdawn 6 months ago

      I think it’s a thing with the site it said my email was in use as well but I know I hadn’t attempted to join before so ignore that!

    • ojoj 8 months ago

      I too have quit before (14 months), then started drinking again because I didn’t want to be a non drinker – because I’m not comfortable in my skin! I really don’t know who I am without alcohol. Now it’s a bottle a night and I can’t seem to string more than a few days together.

    • tautoko 8 months ago

      I k ow exactly what you mean I went 90 days apparently twice the time it takes to train the body to kick a habit to the curb felt great could defeat anything life was great did a few social gatherings no drinking and then without me even seeing it had a big drink to send my friend off to Dubai what a few harmless drinks turned into complete obliteration cant remember going back home isnt it so easy. So back on the wagon again positives are I know I have the ability to stop/cold Turkey it that’s great but that little “alcohol drink till there’s no more” gremlin is and maybe will always be there but now I’m totally aware and what triggers it its game on all the best in your journey kia kaha

  8. venus 9 months ago

    It’s been almost three months for me and thought that I was past wine o’clock. Last night was one of my hardest. After a day of letting the Caron virus scare get to me I started to cry at 5:00. I had decaf coffee, herbal tea, and various sparkling waters until 8:00 when I finally went to bed. That was literally the first time I didn’t think I’d make it. Happy to report that I feel much better today. I wasn’t prepared for this test but have decided to lean in and get through it. Thanks for listening whoever is out there.

    • deborah34 9 months ago

      Hang in, well done to you,

  9. molly 9 months ago

    I stopped drinking (wine) for 6 years and felt soooo good. Not really sure why I started drinking it again about a year ago. Desperately want to stop again as my blood pressure has risen as a result. Don’t drink excessively – 2 glasses a day, but now reading that this IS excessive and also reading that there is NO amount of alcohol that is good for us – not what the wine makers what us to know. Evening is the tough time – any suggestions are very, very welcome. Thank you ALL!

    • anonymous 9 months ago

      I have been watching so much TV to check out in a way that is not booze. it’s not ideal but i am giving myself this break for a bit.

      26 days sober today

      Bojack Horseman is really funny and about an alcoholic – i know it’s a cartoon but just give it a try

    • clearskies 9 months ago

      I just crossed day 26 off of my calendar of no alcohol. I am not sure the last time I went this long with no alcohol at all. It is hard to admit but I think it may have been December of 2012, nearly 7 years ago. I remember three gleaming months of sobriety and I felt so happy. It’s crazy how it sneaks up on you, and how I made excuses for it, not wanting to admit it was an issue. But now I can feel my emotions pulsing through me like electrical currents, like neurons are firing and waking up, so I can tell that I was really numbing myself.

      Anyway, I have been watching a LOT of television. And I don’t usually watch television. MindHunter on Netflix is great, and Bojack Horseman for some really funny mindless comedy, and Bojack has a drinking problem so it is extra funny.

      I love the idea of warm grape juice that someone mentioned below as well, to help with afternoon and evening cravings.

  10. JACHALK 10 months ago

    Hi, I’m new on here, I’ve just read some wonderful courageous comments! I’m 49 years old and have two children, well they are adults now, my daughter married and moved over to America (I’m in Australia) and my son left home a couple of years ago, but he lives close. I’ve always drunk wine at night, but when they left, it’s was a gaping hole in my life that I felt I had to fill……
    The worst part is, my birth mother was an alcoholic, and she left my sister who was 6, myself who was 2 and my brother who was 6 months old…. she left us in a car and went on a binge….. luckily a neighbor who looked out for us found us and brought us to her house and called my dad who was away working. We never saw her again. I heard she died at age 43 from alcoholism ( she was 25 when she left)… most recently my sister died she was 49 years old and she died of alcoholic hepatitis….So you’d think that the last thing I would do is drink every single night. I really want to stop I gave up for six months a year ago and it felt great, so I know it’s possible. The funny thing is I can go without, But I cannot have Just one. Before I know it the whole bottle is gone. Any tips?

    • Davinci 9 months ago

      Its tough alright I’m 46 worked hard my whole life and drank most days,unless I was too hungover.I can’t remember ever stopping for longer than a week but after hitting some PB Lows went to councilling and haven’t had a drop for 14months.
      Not a day goes by without thinking about drinking but like you I can never stop at 1 or 2 I have to finish the lot.
      Hardest thing I find now is socializing which I now avoid all but the most important social occasions which means no party’s no pub no bbqs I guess I’m a hermit now. Hopefully it gets easier. Be Strong!

    • EllieJane 9 months ago

      I feel the sane as you. Your story about your mum is really shocking. I understand how awful that must feel. For someone to leave their children alone like that to go drinking. And then to never see her again. Devastating. Have you had therapy around that? ‘The primal wound is a good book to read. I am adopted. I was 5 days old. It is horrible that your own mother left you. Other adopted people are good to talk to sometimes if they have done the emotional work. I am wanting to give up drinking also. My real mum has alzheimers. Big incentive to cut it out now at 50yrs.

  11. daviesjon 10 months ago

    Hi ,
    I’m based in the UK and I have always thought I can give up drinking easily. I still drink! I have at least 25cl of Vodka a night.. every night. What I hate the most is waking up feeling so guilty. I’m 55 and want to live forever. At this rate I’ll be gone by 60! Anyone out there want to help a desperate Brit?

    • JACHALK 10 months ago

      Hello from Australia…I’m just as new as you! And I know this is going to be a struggle, but we can all help each other! One thing I noticed was being able to tell my story in here was so liberating! I actually can’t tell a living soul (even though they probably notice) that I drink too much..

  12. Anonymous 10 months ago

    completely enjoy this blog. wine oclock is definitely a trigger, love the tips!

  13. kellymariachapman1 10 months ago

    Hello, just over six months sober and cranberry juice heated up is quite nice as well as lemon and lime in hot water, it is a struggle sometimes especially when something goes wrong for example your shopping bag breaks with shopping in it or your washing machine doesn’t spin all the water out of your clothes and you have to lug your washing to the local launderette looking and feeling like shit but as the temptation to drink try’s to lure its way in you have to keep trying and pushing it away as far away as possible and maybe reach for a bar of chocolate instead if needed or a few press ups

  14. Leanne 10 months ago

    Hi, I’m 47, a mum to a beautiful 6 year old, I have a loving partner, and I have a love of wine 6 out of days, wine o’clock is after work. Today I want to stop, had a bit more than intended to last night, feeling fresh after a good night’s sleep but the guilt of my habit is hitting me again. I don’t want my daughter to remember me a “the mum who always had a wine in her hand each night”, plus the snaking while drinking is putting some weight around the middle. I need to stop, I want to stop, I want to be able to come home with my daughter put our sneakers on each night and head out for walks

    • BeautifulChaos 10 months ago

      Hi Leanne,
      Welcome to Living Sober. This Community changed my life 54 days ago when I was in a similar position to where you sound like you are right now.
      Good on you for reaching out x
      I’m 42, and have 3 beautiful children (4, 8, 10) and was also drinking way too much more than was comfortable for me. I tried moderating over the past 2 years, and gave up a couple of times last year – only to revert back to the wine again, until Dec 27th 2019 when I woke up and knew that I had to go Alcohol Free to save my life, relationships and sanity!
      I’m really happy to chat, share ideas and be there for you if you want..
      My 10 year old son used to say that I always had a glass of wine in my hand when I read them bedtime stories (it’s been a slippery slope for a while I realise!), and tonight – after 54 days sober – he gave me a great big hug after our bedtime chat, and called out ‘Night Mum’ as I walked down the hallway. I feel like we are back on the same page again, and as much as I am doing this for me. I’m also doing it for my kids and my marriage.
      Take care, and keep putting one foot in front of the other.
      BC x

    • Leanne 10 months ago

      Oops should read 6 out of 7 days

  15. Mary's Wake-up call 10 months ago

    I am ashamed and disgusted with myself and really needed this wake-up call. Think I was deluding myself for years that I didn’t have a problem with wine. When staying in houses where they don’t have a wine routine, I would have my own bottle, or two small bottles which I would secretly drink in the bedroom. Getting rid of these bottles the next day was a difficulty of course. How did I not realise I had a drinking problem?

    Last night was a bit different. I was staying with a friend and was being treated with lovely food and of course wine. She was having cans of cider and kept filling my glass with wine so that I drank more than I usually do. At some point I realised my speech was slurry. That was when I should have stopped but I carried on as we were deep in conversation and I suppose I didn’t take notice how empty the bottle was getting. When I finally got up to go to bed I could hardly walk and by the time I reached top of the stairs I actually fell on the landing. I hurt my back and grazed my elbow. My friend shouted up “are you ok?” and I answered that I was. I didn’t want her to know how drunk I was. She didn’t know either that a short time later I was getting sick in her toilet.

    I felt terrible all night and the next morning as I am not used to hangovers. All I want to have now is a cup of tea and plain bread and butter.

    This had to happen. I am glad to have found this forum and have read so many other testimonials from others who are struggling. I really want to stop drinking wine and I actually feel positive and excited about changing my life.

    Thank you all who have contributed your stories and I am looking forward to seeing how it turns out for all.

    • PippaB 10 months ago

      Hi Mary
      I am 38 days sober and it took me about two years of “do I have a drinking problem? No I don’t have a drinking problem” thinking to do something. It want the social drinking that was the problem; it was the drinking at home starting at ‘wine o’clock’ until bed. It crept up on me to the point I realised I was functioning but poorly. The last couple of days have been hard for some reason but I keep coming back to how much better I am coping with all that I juggle as a working mother and COO of a household…
      Good luck with it all; this forum and Mrs D have been a real turning point for me

  16. Mary's Wake-up call 10 months ago

    I never get drunk – but last night I did. I am a social drinker but also a secret drinker. I didn’t think I had a problem as I don’t drink
    much at one time. Except last night.

  17. lookingforchange 10 months ago

    Looking at starting this journey soon, I’m just not 100% sure I can do it or want too (although I know I need to).

    Having grown up with a Mum in AA I appreciate the organisation but don’t think it is for me – so am hoping this board will be the support I need.

  18. Bored 10 months ago

    Hi team
    Thanks for being just as (F@c*ed) up as me! Swearing is a new addiction well that’s a lie as I was fairly good at that too.
    I’m 5 weeks sober and every day dream of throwing back numerous delicious alcoholic beverages. Like most of you I work, run a family and at the moment feel like I’ve been stripped of all pleasure. Drink SO much water my pee is like crystal clear. Keep keeping off the bottle.

  19. jor1968 10 months ago

    Hi there,
    I am new to this site and Am Looking forward to reading about how others managed to become
    Wine free. Definitely my goal but have yet to achieve it. I Need all the tips I can get right now. I start each week of positively but inevitably fall over midweek. I really really want to stop. All tips greatly appreciated ?

    • bestlife 10 months ago

      I listen to the bubble hour podcast daily. Somehow hearing other people’s stories of quitting drinking helps me.

  20. Catfarmer 10 months ago

    Hi everyone, I’m new here. Looks like a really great community. Getting through wine o’clock is also my hardest challenge. And I mean really, really hard. I can be fine all day, start the day with a long run, eat well, play with the kids, work hard–all of it–till about four or five in the afternoon. Making matters worse I live across the street from a high end wine store in a country in Europe that has fabulous wines. Problem, of course, is that I polish off a bottle a day at this point and see myself at a crossroads. Either go all in and ruin my life or pull out and let it go forever. Sometimes I get a day or two under my belt but then some stress comes along–I have four kids, recently quit my job (am still on the payroll till the fall but working less), am transitioning to a new career, have a mother with dementia who lives near me, manage her affairs in the US (house, bank, insurance, taxes, etc.) as well as my own, one of the kids is a baby (I am remarried)… the chances of some crazy, maddening, expensive thing happening on any given day is pretty high. The day before yesterday, for instance, I was pick pocketed and lost my wallet and passport. After leaving the policy station with a friend we headed to a cafe and I proceeded to drink more than half a bottle of wine. Upon returning home consumed about another bottle’s worth. Last night drank a bit less but nevertheless…. I have to stop and have to find the strength somewhere, though so far it’s eluded me.

    • fellow wine-lover 9 months ago

      Dear Catfarmer: I’m sorry to hear about your struggle and hope you are doing OK these last few weeks. I want you to know that I’m coming up on 6 weeks sober and it took a good hard look at my relationship with alcohol to make the change. I have listened to tons of podcasts, read Hello Sunday Morning, read Mrs. D is Going Without, reached out to a few naturally sober people (aka my friends who have somehow just never drank… fascinating!). I recommend listening to Recovery Elevator and all the stories there. A recent one with the interviewee named ‘Tara’ is particularly full of meaningful revelations. I’m no expert by any means but I feel really good after just 6 weeks, and more capable of dealing with stress. One of the first things I noticed is that in the morning I am able to get my shit together and not forget little things like the field trip authorization form or bringing snacks for the Valentine’s party, etc. All those little things that previously I forgot and made me feel like crap. Then I noticed there was a cumulative effect with these things and bigger results started to come. I was able to manage a significant interview with 8 jurors without major anxiety, then enjoy the rest of my weekend after I found out I didn’t get the job. That wouldn’t have been possible before with a few big glasses of wine clouding the picture. Anyway sending you strength and just want you to know it really is worth it.

  21. Yoda19 10 months ago

    Wine o’ clock is my trigger too. Incredibly helpful to read all the comments of you amazing people! Day 1 hasn’t started for me yet. I need to see my health professional first as I already experience periodic tremors (in the drinking arm, of course) and I am frightened about de-toxing on my own. Add to which I am not young and that feels like adding a further health risk. So, plan is first-health professional for assessment and advice, then AA and counselling. I also need to fess up to friends and colleagues which feels super scary.

    • LexiSmith 9 months ago

      Hi Yoda19
      How are you doing? What did the health professional say, and were you able to detox safely? I too am desperate to be AF but also feels the effects of withdrawal. I’m trying to wean my self off alcohol but its really hard.

  22. My name is... 11 months ago

    Day 17 here. I thought I was the only one. (Middle-aged, college-educated, functioning, mother/grandmother, wife, active church/member…who also happens to be a closet drinker for the past seven years.)

    • katiemac 10 months ago

      You sound so much like me! 49, college educated, professional job, fitness fanatic, avid reader, church goer….and also closet drinker. It’s my dirty little secret (or I think it’s secret but I’ve taken quite a few risks with people knowing). I feel so ashamed and like such a fraud. Thank you for sharing – we can stop this if we want to!

      • JACHALK 10 months ago


  23. Josefina-north 11 months ago

    Hi all, new here and this is day one. Getting through wine o’clock is the biggest challenge for me. Will start today.

    • Whos-The-Lush 11 months ago

      How are you going?

  24. Icanbefree 11 months ago

    Feeling guilty for a night of guilty pleasure. Sick of feeling sad, bad, mad – longterm effects of drugs and alcohol. I can do 3 days without too much effort so bring on day 4 and get this journey started.
    Day 1 :/

  25. Michelle 11 months ago

    Day 2 nearly over. Fighting that voice in my head trying to encourage me to drink again. No, I don’t want to drink again, go away voice in my head!

    • Heather jones 10 months ago

      I feel like I’m two people. In the day I’m in total control. Eating well, exercising. I say to myself everyday, grow a pair and stop drinking every night! It’s making my fitness goals impossible to achieve. No amount of exercise is going to get rid of my wine belly which I hate. It effects all that I do. I feel tired and sick most days from it. I don’t feel really present with my kids. Especially on the weekends when I tend to drink more. That’s when I shouldn’t be drinking so I could feel good on their days off school and have more energy. Then at 5 pm I lose all the will power I had during the day. I say to myself, you look better than most people, one won’t hurt anybody. Lighten up and enjoy life. I’m not drinking to cover up any pain or stress. I just love wine. White in the summer with seafood and red in the winter with a beef stew. I quit once for three weeks. It was the most boring time. I didn’t look forward to anything, like my treat at the end of the day. I look at people who don’t drink and think, they seem to be fine without it. Going to a nice restaurant and not having any wine would be torture. I’d rather not go.

      • Karyn76 3 months ago

        Your post resonated with me because I love wine too! One of my biggest motivators to stop drinking is vanity! I’m getting fat and I feel so wrinkly. Yuck! I also spend way too much time thinking about wine. Some mornings I wake up and think of what I will drink that evening, or I’ll wake up annoyed at myself for drinking when I promised myself I wouldn’t…

    • soberup 11 months ago

      Hi Michelle
      This is my first day of many days of trying to give up, it really sucks when I fail. I keep asking myself why alcohol has a hold on me, and truthfully I don’t have an answer because I have been drinking for so so many years its a daily habit. Now like so many other times I am ready to quit. I want to feel those good natural feelings people talk about when you give up the drink. Lets keep the communication lines open and be able to support each other.

  26. Audi 11 months ago

    Day two now and I’m feeling proud of myself.. walked the dogs and stopped for a coffee instead of the usual Glass of wine ..

  27. HKR25 11 months ago

    wine O’clock happens a few times a week,I’m nearly 26 and finding it difficult manage the after work wine. How do you beat the ‘hard day’ drinks

    • Whos-The-Lush 11 months ago

      I drink non-alcoholic wine and beer, I still feel like I am having a treat

      • PamB 10 months ago

        Is there a non alcholic wine you recommend? All of the ones I have tried are positively awful! Think I am going to have to drink soda in a wine glass instead

  28. Gemma 11 months ago

    I have tried so many times to give up. Always go back to day 1. Alcohol is affecting my marriage and my relationships with my adult children and friends and family. This morning my husband has said it has to stop so today has to be Day 1 for real. No more giving in to the demon that is alcohol

    • neensyb 11 months ago

      @gemma I know what you mean! Have you read The Sober Diaries. OMG I seriously could have thought the book was written about me. Give it a go, it’s enlightening. How are you doing anyway? No answer is the wrong answer, I am genuinely asking how you are doing. x

  29. ozzie 11 months ago

    Wow! I feel that I am not alone in this dreadful Wine O’Clock.

    • JACHALK 10 months ago

      You most definitely are not 🙂

      • anonymous 9 months ago

        I love how this is so wine-specific! It is really my downfall as well. Even reading about it in this blog is triggering me.

        I love whiskey sours too..

  30. Princess 11 months ago

    Well I’m on day 3! Bloody New Year’s Eve!! My husband and I are both being a bit moody and snappy with each other. Am planning an early night tonight and getting up early in the morning to go for a long walk.

  31. donnamarie 11 months ago

    Strategy for coasting through wine time today: A gentle yoga class that runs 6:05-7:15. Sending strength and hope to everyone else out there.

  32. scottym 11 months ago

    Day one. Yay.

  33. LDL146 11 months ago

    This is day one of many days to come. I need to keep busy after 4pm today and every day from now on.

  34. @maryanne 11 months ago

    I have decided today is the day. I am 46 years old and have been drinking since I was 14. In the last 3 or 4yrs my drinking habits have changed, as in I dont drink 1-2 bottles of wine most nights any more. I only drink once a week and get drunk or 2 or 3 times a week but not to get drunk. I love the taste but when I do get drunk I always wake the next morning with anxiety so bad that I swear I’m not drinking anymore, but how quickly I forget on a nice hot sunny day. My younger sister has been sober for 4yrs now and when she first got sober eveyone said good on her, and I thought well she needed to because she had major problems caused by the drinking, and to prove I could control it i would stop drinking for months at a time, and start again on nice sunny day because I don’t have a problem. Yea right. The anxiety is horrible, as I lay here thinking about things I can’t change or control, knowing full well it’s in my mind, which by the way will find anything to cause this feeling of dread. It’s worse if I dont remember anything from the night before and then I’m paralysed for a whole day with anxiety about things I may have said or done. In my normal every day life, I am assertive and a very confident and capable leader at worker and I dont like the feeling of anxiety when I’ve been drinking. This has been my drinking for the past 3-4yrs and I am determined to change it today. I know it’s going to be difficult.

  35. peanut47 11 months ago

    Day one for me… Going to be difficult Im sure..

  36. Danale 12 months ago

    I have found audio books on sobriety to be very helpful. Day 12 and already listened to two. I listen on my way home from work, a little motivation before walking in the door, and listen while I’m cooking dinner with earplugs, since my husband doesn’t want to hear it and for all he knows, I could be rocking out while I’m cooking. :0

    • MollyP 11 months ago

      Hey Danale I do this too and it helps a lot! Which ones do you like the best?

    • donnamarie 11 months ago

      What books do you recommend?

      • MollyP 11 months ago

        @donnamarie this Naked Mind by Annie Grace

  37. morgana 12 months ago

    Day 1 for me and my husbands been away all week he changed jobs and now he’s already staying away I’m already lonely with no friends in this town and now he stays away as he’s a truck driver so its had not to have a drink as it was my friend as the craving is there but I’m going to try and be strong

  38. freddie 12 months ago

    I’m just starting tday I can see it’s gona be tough where can I get the book just need a kick start

  39. MaggieM 12 months ago

    Third day of no wine o’clock. I’m tired of being tired. I lived in a community that values socialization with happy hours,
    Mom’s Night Out, Bunco, sport parent’s gatherings..etc. It became normal to drink wine all the time. I moved away from
    the community, but continued to drink to cope with stressors. It’s time for a change.

  40. sarahjfyfe 12 months ago

    Cooking dinner for my horde of 3 kids & 1 International student, I am always armed with a bottle of wine. Chopping onions and leaning over a hot oven becomes much less of an ordeal. Recently, on my quest for an alcohol-free lifestyle, I have started cooking dinner at 7am. What a difference this has made!
    Now, I return from my after work walk, hot tired & hungry, and dinner is ready to be served ?

    • vicki1404 12 months ago

      I love this! Great problem solving.

  41. Sharon123 12 months ago

    Changing the routine. Taking the dogs or myself for a walk.

  42. Butterfly23 12 months ago

    Trying to not drink when my ’tradie’ husband comes home for a cold beer is the most difficult thing. I’ve had a long day at work, I’m organising dinner and things for the kids and all I want is a wine or five to relax and make everything feel easier. Although I know that is only a temporary feeling, always feel worse the next day which then leads to wanting to drink more because i feel bad. Such a cycle!!

  43. Buffy2011 12 months ago

    Day 1 again for me. I am so tired of being fat, drunk and tired! I’ve gone 30 days before without wine, so I think I can do this. Tonight I had seltzer to drink and found this website!

    • Sharon123 12 months ago

      I can completely relate. Felt like crap again today. Worried about Xmas just around the corner.

  44. LynleyBreeze 12 months ago

    Saying hello to each morning (metaphor for being sober) is LIFE. Doing the “urg surfing” and delay and distract action helps me. Continuing to do the things you do and riding the urge is difficult, as we all know, but also necessary.

  45. Lyney 12 months ago

    Eat well and learn to cook. Buy a good knife and wooden chopping board and figure out how to park your meal at the top of the hill. Use a timer so when to add to the cooking and when to eat.

  46. Chelly 1 year ago

    So, decided i want to change this unhealthy relationship i have with wine and alcohol. wine mostly. its just become too easy to reach for the wine when a work day has been bad, or life feels too much or overwhelming. Im nearly 48 now and i think its gotten worse over the last 4 years since my sister died. I want to take back some control and navigate my own life. Day 2 today and wine o clock feels easy so far – I can easily do a few days — its usually the 3rd day that is harder, but i am wanting 2020 to be my year. My job is stressful, my home life is crazy and my blood pressure is up! So Im going back to my excercise, back to trying to live healthier and find some inner strength. I usually try to distract myself at wine o cllock so hoping this works this week.

    • daddysgirl 12 months ago

      Hi chelly thanks for sharing- its very familiar to me too. Hows your week been?

    • Kittkatt 12 months ago

      Wow! I really resonated with your story. How’s it all going? I’ve just signed up today. Hoping this will help me too

  47. Berenice 1 year ago

    Hi I start today, for a couple of years I say today I start.. I hope I can do this..
    8:30am where I live and already thinking about how to get through wine hour.. Terrible.

    • blueberry 12 months ago

      Hi Berenice, how has your week been? I always feel like today is the day. It’s always day one… but I really really feel like today has to be the day!

  48. sarahjd1973 1 year ago

    46 year old, 33 days sober after an initial hospital detox. Have had severe anorexia for the past 20 years and drinking was a ‘great way’ to get instant energy and relax and well…. just be happy. Anorexia has left me with no family of my own or career etc. etc. – yet. My last 6 months of drinking, I just sort of ‘gave in’ to the alcohol. A few glasses turned into 2 bottles of 15.5% (had to be) red wine from the wine company every day. Started to gain weight and the more I drank, the more I gained and the more I gained the more I drank to cope with the disgust and humiliation I felt. Now I’m sober and my biggest enemy in the afternoon at wine-o-clock is hunger – it would be ‘just so easy and quick and NICE’ to have ‘just one glass’ to take the edge off. But I know that the just one would very very soon turn into ‘just one bottle’ and then two plus and an overpowering obsession every day to get my ‘anaesthetic’. It would start at 5 o’clock, then move to lunch time start, then my ’10-o’clock tickle’ as I so fondly thought of it as and then 9am starts and throughout the day just to ‘cope’. Towards the end I’d be gagging on a fast half bottle just to get the day going – so humiliating going into the wine shop everyday. 3am and I’d have the most terrible ‘drys’. Now that it’s been over a month, it’s really good to finally reach out and talk about how it was when I was drinking – helps to get through the wine-o’clock hours in the early evening to hear others struggling but winning. I’m in this for the long haul – sober life has GOT to get better.

    • stef 11 months ago

      Wow well done Sarah, inspiring to hear how far you’ve come. I’ve just finally admitted to myself and my loved ones that yes I do have a bad binge drinking problem.. sober days far to far apart between all the heavy drink days in the past month, sick of hurting the most important people in my life and abusing myself with the drink. Things need to change and only o have the power so here’s to day one…. Thinking this is a great tool to seek support/relate and help each other to make good decisions!

    • LynleyBreeze 1 year ago

      Well done. The most sobering story I have heard. I have just started on my journey after a terrible bustup with my husband. Fortunately he has forgiven me.

      • sarahjd1973 1 year ago

        Thank you – that little well done has made my morning! The first 8 days for me were the most intense and I was tired for over a month but 36 days sober now and things are beginning to get better so keep going, you are so lucky to have a forgiving husband. Whenever I feel like a wine’o’clock, I just remember what it was like in the late days of drinking and the early days of sobriety and that reminds me of how far I’ve come and I don’t want to throw it all in and go back to day 1. I count the days and the things I can do now I am not drinking – little things like getting up before 8am, studying physics and being present in class, being present in the evenings with my amazing mother, even watching seven sharp sober!, looking at my beautiful golden cocker-spaniel in the sun-light as he wags his tail and prances around the house like he’s a little prince!

  49. Gidget99 1 year ago

    Day 45, and wine o’clock is getting much easier. I often get to 6:30 without having thought if it at all, and the cravings are not as powerful. I’ve always loved cooking, but it has been a chore for the last 6 weeks whilst going without. But with 3 kids, there was really no choice. A few things that really helped me early on:
    – Easier meals (not committing to a really involved meal like lasagne)
    – Finding a replacement drink I really enjoyed (lime cordial, or lemon lime & bitters soft drink)
    – Having a little pre-dinner snack, like some nice cheese (sliced up into little pieces on the chopping board in the kitchen). This made me feel like I was indulging in some way, which I think sort of tricked my brain into feeling like I wasn’t ‘going without’ something.
    – Also , staying hydrated earlier in the day. I find that if I’m dehydrated when 5pm hits, I’m much more likely to crave alcohol. I’f I’m thirsty at 5pm, the automatic go to was always alcohol (which of course does anything but hydrate you). So whilst exercise definitely helps the process of quitting, I found it was REALLY important to make sure I drank a lot of water after a long workout.
    TOTALLY WORTH IT – Feeling great at 6 weeks 🙂

  50. noiseynerd 1 year ago

    Day 3 for me.
    It is a beautiful afternoon. Enjoying a fruit juice, and shortly I will go jogging.
    The weekend will be a big test for me. I intend to keep physically active.
    I so dearly want to change my habits and mindset towards something a lot more positive and healthful

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