Sober Story: Tracy

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This week's Sober Story comes from Tracy, a 59-year-old living in North Yorkshire in England.

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Mrs D: How long have you been in recovery?

Tracy: I had my last drink on January 23rd 2013. It wasn't planned to be my last one but events took over and I haven't had a drink since that day.

Mrs D: What can you tell us about the last months/years of your drinking before you gave up?

Tracy: I have always been a drinker. I grew up in a pub and both my parents drank ... my Mother especially. I never thought that I would inflict on my daughters what she inflicted on us by being drunk on certain days when we arrived home from school. My drinking was only sociable but as I got older it became apparent that my drinking was a little more extreme than everyone elses.

Mrs D: What can you tell us about the last months/years of your drinking before you gave up?

Tracy: I split from my husband in 2004 and started seeing a man whom I fell in love with. He was an alcoholic and my drinking stepped up a few notches - I was basically keeping up with his drinking. It starting during the day as we met every lunchtime. I didn't like him when he had been drinking and I hadn't so I kept up. Except he would fall asleep and I would carry on.

Mrs D: What was the final straw that led you to get sober?

Tracy: My doctor had told me that my liver was suffering but I chose not to listen and on the day in question I suddenly started vomiting blood ... then blood was pouring from every orifice - nose, ears, eyes .... everywhere. I was rushed into hospital. I had had a varices bleed and my family were summoned and were told that I wouldn't last the night but amazingly I did and I'm still here!! So that was the final straw - the thing that helped me get sober.

Mrs D: How was it for you in the early days? What was most difficult?

Tracy: It was fairly easy at first as I was just thankful to be alive every morning but as time goes on it is sometimes hard.

Mrs D: How hard was it getting used to socialising sober?

Tracy: Everything in the UK revolves around drinking and I don't really go out much as I don't really like being around people that are drunk.

Mrs D: Was there anything surprising that you learned about yourself when you stopped drinking?

Tracy: I feel a lot happier within myself and still feel proud as another month goes by.

Mrs D: How are things going for you right now?

Tracy: For the first 18 months my partner stopped drinking as well but he has now started again. I have tried asking him to not drink around me ... to only to drink beer not wine ... but unfortunately he can't seem to do it. So it is difficult, especially as I keep finding wine bottles hidden all around the house. He is a lovely man who works very, very hard but the drinking thing is becoming more of a problem.

Mrs D: How is this making you feel?

Tracy: I haven't had a relapse because I know that one more drink would kill me. I don't think that I will ever relapse but who can say. The most difficult times for me are when we go on holidays, maybe there should be sober holiday camps ?! Places where we could meet up for drink free holidays.

Thanks for listening and any advice or feedback would be very welcome.

3 Comments
  1. Lizzy 4 months ago

    Hi Tracy thanks for sharing your sober story. Congratulations on all your sober time, you are clearly a very strong person and you have a really powerful reason not to drink again. It’s not easy when you live with someone who drinks, as I know from my own experience… what works for me is to post on Living Sober at the times when it feels all a bit much, or to take myself away from the situation by going and having a bath or a walk or something. I don’t think that just because you live with someone who drinks you will have start drinking again yourself… BUT that is just my viewpoint. I find it irritating when my husband is drunk, but it doesn’t make me want to drink. There is always alcohol in our house but that doesn’t make me want to drink either. But, as I said, that’s just me. You are you… What I would say is to stay vigilant and notice what effect his drinking has on you, and if you think that it is putting your sobriety at risk then maybe you could look to make some changes. Hugs x

  2. Tracey 4 months ago

    DeacTracey, I really worry you are heading for a relapse, value yourself enough to tell your partner that you cannot be with him drinking. You will pick up again if you stay in this relationship, put your recovery first.

    • sheaney5 4 months ago

      Dear Tracey from North Yorkshire – Thank you so much for your story. I agree with Tracey, you absolutely have to put yourself first and your recovery. Your relapse will not only put you back to day one your actual life is on the line. You have chosen to stay away from outside situations. So It is so important for you to be comfortable in your safe place. Love sheaney5

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