Silly Season Survival Guide

natural christmas decoration

The end of the year can be a tricky time of year for us sober people. There are many parties and social events to navigate (Covid restrictions permitting), plus mounting family pressures, demands on our wallets, and booze, booze, booze everywhere. It's a truly wonderful/terrible time of the year.

When I first quit drinking I felt awful and flat around this time of year without my beloved wine. Thankfully it didn't take too long for me to adjust to my new, non-drinking lifestyle. After a year or two I started to really appreciate being grounded and clear through the madness, but - like many things in sobriety - it did take practice. Below are the best tips, techniques and bits of advice I have gathered in my ten years of being sober.  

1. Put things in perspective

The Silly Season is intense because it has more crammed into it than usual and things feel more heightened, but broken down it's just a bunch of same-same. An end-of-year celebration is just another get-together. Christmas is just another day. New Year's Eve is just another night. Don't stress out, hype up or over-emphasise any Silly Season occasions. They're just like all the other occasions we navigate throughout the year.

2. Work your usual techniques

If a craving hits think HALTS - am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired or Stressed? Deal with the underlying need. Also think, "Delay and Distract". A craving has a short time-frame so distract yourself to get through. Call 'Bullshit' on all your hardwired thoughts about alcohol's positive impacts. 'Play the tape forward' past the first sip (it never ends up like the romantic image would have us believe). Visualise yourself climbing into bed sober, visualise yourself waking up in the morning happy and proud with no hangover.

3. You don't have to go to anything

Worth stating. Maybe you should go, but you don't have to go. Your sobriety comes first. If the stress and nerves are too high, stay away and protect yourself.

4. You can leave early

In the middle of a speech, in the middle of a toast, in the middle of the cutting of a cake, you can, without drama, without a scene, leave. Quietly pack up your things and slip out unnoticed, or say a quick goodbye. If you need to explain yourself, just say you suddenly feel ill and need to lie down. You can cry/scream/laugh hysterically in the car or into your pillow later, but for now just leave, get yourself somewhere safe and administer sober first aid. You'll thank yourself in the morning.

5. Fake it till you make it

If you've got no choice but to attend the work christmas party/extended family function/New Year's Eve BBQ (or you decide you want to even though you're feeling nervous) then slap a smile on your face and put a spring in your step. Act like you're going to have a fabulous time and who knows - you might just have a fabulous time! Remember - booze does not have the power to make anything better. The success of an event is determined by a bunch of factors that have nothing to do with the liquid in your glass.

6. Plan your drinks

Make sure your non-alcoholic beverages are the best goddam non-alcoholic beverages you've had all year. Treat yourself, you're worth it. Buy that expensive bottle of non-alcoholic spirits or the most fancy mocktail ingredients you can find. Visit our Drink of the Week page and plan ahead. If you're out at a venue be clear with the wait staff about exactly what you want to drink and the glass you want to drink it in. Take ownership over your liquids and don't for a moment feel bad or awkward about it.

7. Look around

Everyone has shit going on in their lives. Everyone is as pre-occupied with their shit as you are pre-occupied with yours. Everyone finds the holidays difficult and emotionally charged. Take a really good look around and imagine what is going on for your friends, colleagues and loved ones. Thinking outside of ourselves and recognising that others are also battling away is calming and helps put things in perspective. Being kind and understanding to others helps us feel strong.

8. Remember your sober gang

They may not be with you in the room but there are many thousands of sober people around the country and the world who are getting through the silly season sober. Picture yourself surrounded by an invisible shimmery cloud of fellow brave sober warriors. You are not alone.

9. Stay in touch

Keep your device handy and check in with the online recovery community regularly - every hour if need be! Many sober bloggers will be posting throughout the silly season. Read sober blogs, follow social media accounts dedicated to sobriety and recovery, and of course stay busy in the 'Members Feed' here at Living Sober. Keep your sober buddies close. We all get it, we're all in it together.

10 Comments
  1. FreeKitty 9 months ago

    It’s amazing how many ads, television shows, social media posts, memes and cultural overtones that hit us daily promoting alcohol. I saw a pajama ad with two women recently in my InBox, and of course they both had a glass of wine while they portrayed the “holiday spirit”. I am 15 months sober and loving my new life. I am not anti-alcohol but I am anti-societal brainwashing. It finally hit me last night watching CNN’s NY Eve show (I changed the channel after the entire show turned into watching people get drunk) – that I am not the one with the problem. I can turn off the television, change the channel, read a book, not attend the holiday party and be true to my self. Lottie – your book REALLY helped me when I quit drinking. AA was not for me. I dropped out in three months to the chimes that I would fail without attending their stupid meetings. There is a sober movement growing and I am proud to be part of it. Keep up the great work! Happy 2021.

  2. Shelby8@work 9 months ago

    I am 3 weeks and 1 day now The beginning of another week and a chance to smash it into number 4. 😊

  3. Shelby8@work 9 months ago

    3 weeks is gold .Holiday time is a lot of time to be inside your own head No work distraction to help tick off the days and so even more important to hold LS close.

  4. Jacqui Leslie 9 months ago

    Thank you so much for these tips. I am counting this as my first sober Christmas as this time last year I was in rehab.

  5. Classic50 9 months ago

    Hi everyone, just got my first email newsletter!!!! What a welcome surprise! The tips are so helpful for right now, and hearing other people’s celebration of life as they escape the booze mush has been wonderful. Thank you Mrs D! You are a legend of inspiration!🏆🎁❤!

  6. Charlotte 10 months ago

    Thanks for the article! Heading in to my third sober Christmas confidently but your tips are a timely reminder!

  7. Maggie73 10 months ago

    Thank you 😊

  8. Spanna33 10 months ago

    This is perfect thank you! Christmas Day will also be my 3 week mark.

  9. suzeq 10 months ago

    Christmas Day will be my 3 week mark. Big dinner was going to be at my house but didn’t really want to do it this year , partly because of new state of sober……so I had a brilliant idea of asking my sister to host at her house. She loves being hostess and loves her wine and usually gets kind of nasty with me so this year I will be sober relaxed and sweet Suzeq ! Will take your advice and stay close to LS.

  10. JR 10 months ago

    Perfect!

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