• zeropercent posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Thanks @Chordaroy. I think complacency can set in when we get a good amount of days under our belt so it’s important not to take our eyes off the ball. I’m doing great….its awesome to wake up clear today and recommited knowing that i nearly took a different path last night. Do watch out for that sneaky one…its never ever worth it and we all know theres no such thing as one drink!

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Thanks! Very glad to get back on track. I know its early but I’m very positive. It was a brief lapse so i don’t feel ive had time to build up the physical dependency that occurs with weeks and months of daily drinking

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Thanks I knew it was the right choice😊

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Yeah some people just don’t understand the impact 1 drink has. But its awesome you are back giving it another crack 16 months is an amazing achievement you know you can get back there again!

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Thank you i will!

  • Recently passed the 150 day mark when a light beer was handed to me at a very special family occasion. A split second decision to accept it put an end to my 5 months of resistance. Only 1 light beer seemed innocent however it was enough to change the course of events for the day. Later that evening i went to the rugby with a mate and decided that because I’d already blown my 150 days with a light beer i might as well carry on. The result was a full on night out with a very nasty and regrettable hangover the next day. I swore that it would be a one off and managed to go 9 days before i got a 4 pack of premix bourbon that i managed to put away while going into town to get dinner for the family. Then last night (2 nights after the 4pack) i put 8 cans away. I was ready to do it all again tonight because hey I’m a drinker again so might as well make the most of it before i have to quit for good. Such a messed up logic so have decided to come on here and recommit to sobriety instead. It normally takes me weeks sometimes months to snap out of relapses and get back on track as this will be my 5th (and hopefully last) day 1. Its been 850 days since my 1st day one on here and i would say ive been sober for at least 700 of those days including a 400 day stretch so i still feel I’m winning. June 1st is the start of the new dairy farming season so its a great date for me to start fresh. As i write this i can hear booze brain telling me to put it off a but longer. Too late. Post update. Day 1😁

    • Know your pain, done the same thing. Keep trying zero percent.

    • Hi @zeropercent I too am at Day 1 ….again!! I had made it to 16 months and then foolishly listened to a friend who had me believe “I was missing out” by not joining her in a glass of wine – long story short, I picked up again and have been drowning in alcohol ever since, and feeling miserable and desperate. So I haven’t had a drink today, going to live one day at a time, I do know how difficult it will be mentally, especially in the early days …..searching for internal strength.

      • Yeah some people just don’t understand the impact 1 drink has. But its awesome you are back giving it another crack 16 months is an amazing achievement you know you can get back there again!

    • Good decision on not drinking today. One drink for an addict is never just one drink. I did it after a 6 month stint dry then whoa it all started up again. Getting past 6 months, then one year you will feel the benefit. Well done on coming back on here @zeropercent

    • Fantastic decision! You have been doing so well it would be sad not to break your record of taking weeks or a month to get back on track. And now, record broken 🙂 Hold on to all those sober days, each one is a precious achievement.

      • Thanks! Very glad to get back on track. I know its early but I’m very positive. It was a brief lapse so i don’t feel ive had time to build up the physical dependency that occurs with weeks and months of daily drinking

    • Thanks for your post. At day 121 and also a rugby follower you’ve taken the hit for me so to speak. I’ll keep a close watch on that first sneaky one, been tempted a bit lately too.
      Hope your ok.

      • Thanks @Chordaroy. I think complacency can set in when we get a good amount of days under our belt so it’s important not to take our eyes off the ball. I’m doing great….its awesome to wake up clear today and recommited knowing that i nearly took a different path last night. Do watch out for that sneaky one…its never ever worth it and we all know theres no such thing as one drink!

    • 700 of 850 days AF, pretty good, i certainly cannot say the same. i guess the reason that it is a zero tolerance proposition is because of the risk that you won’t quit again once you pick up. good job in quoting so close to immediately. be well.

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 4 months, 1 week ago

    Thanks so much for taking the time to share that. I had made it clear to this friend prior to coming that i was no longer a drinker and not to expect a return to the old days where we would binge drink to the early hours of the morning. I have a family now and my home environment has changed completely. To be honest i have actually arranged alternate accommodation while he is here as i did not want that around my kids. So maybe he went a bit further knowing he didn’t have to behave in front of my wife and kids. There was no pressure from him on me to drink which was good and i knew to expect that. Its only a very short term visit so he will be moving on tomorrow anyway which i had kind of pre orchestrated anyway. I just hope he takes something from my example. I’m not the sort to tell people how to live their lives as i think it needs to come from within. All the same very hard to watch someone do that to themselves

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 4 months, 1 week ago

    Thank you! Persistence is certainly the key here. 200 days will be awesome you deserve to treat yourself!

  • So i haven’t posted since i announced my 4th day 1 attempt to become sober on this site. My 1st attempt saw me get 400 days on the clock before giving into temptation at a mates stag do. Attempt 2 saw about 60 days pass before alcohol once again won over. Attempt 3 was worse at 9 days so number 4 didn’t look promising at all. I wasn’t going to count days this time but very pleased to wake up on day 96 feeling like a normal human being. Can’t say the same for a heavy drinking old friend that i picked up from the airport last night who has come to stay for a while. I have been anxious all week as i knew he would test my sober muscles to the max. But after seeing him slur, talk rubbish and vomit all the way home and finally urinate through the bed last night it has only reinforced to me what a toxic relationship with alcohol looks like. I really hope he can see the huge improvement in my life while he is here and hopefully embark on his own sober journey in the very near future before it’s too late. I don’t drink😁

    • You are amazing to keep at it so persistently. None of those sober days are wasted – they make you healthier and stronger. Keep going! I haven’t cracked 400 days yet – my first 200 is looming large though x

    • Hi, @zeropercent. Your story sounds familiar. (I) had to clear the traffic from my house just last week. I picked up an old friend, whom I hadn’t seen a while, as she announced her arrival at short notice. The friend nearly polished off an entire bottle of vodka, stunk the house out, became belligerent, messed up my carpet, admitted her heavy drinking was usual for her, etc etc. It just turned into one big, sad story. Dear as this person is to me, at present, her ‘alcoholism’ clearly posed a liability to the safety of my home and me. I arranged for her departure the next day ~ no great explanations were given. What I’m sharing here is, leaning into early sobriety requires an extraordinary amount of personal responsibility to ourselves, our home environment, and well-being. Will these circumstances put YOU at risk of breaking THIS run of sober days?? S’pose you have to ask yourself if your friends visit HAS THE POSSIBILITY of setting off ANY alcohol trigger. We’re our own keepers. Is there any possibility this house guest will threaten you’re current state of ‘feeling like a normal human being’? If so, today might be time to suggest they move on, aye.

      • Thanks so much for taking the time to share that. I had made it clear to this friend prior to coming that i was no longer a drinker and not to expect a return to the old days where we would binge drink to the early hours of the morning. I have a family now and my home environment has changed completely. To be honest i have actually arranged alternate accommodation while he is here as i did not want that around my kids. So maybe he went a bit further knowing he didn’t have to behave in front of my wife and kids. There was no pressure from him on me to drink which was good and i knew to expect that. Its only a very short term visit so he will be moving on tomorrow anyway which i had kind of pre orchestrated anyway. I just hope he takes something from my example. I’m not the sort to tell people how to live their lives as i think it needs to come from within. All the same very hard to watch someone do that to themselves

    • What a friend you are. The words non-drinker (alcohol) have slipped from my lips lately (planted by an hypnosis app I used to get momentum to AF) and it’s feels really good to say it. Thanks for reinforcing how powerful those words can be.

    • Yes, we don’t drink. i remember the time period from 90 to 100 days af, it is like something changes, the physical part, wishing to drink, thinking about drinking, it doesn’t go away, but it like, yes a different phase started for me. hope the same for you. i have also had friends come stay when i am trying to be sober/not smoke cigs and for some reason, i have never been strong, but here, on this site, i have found strength. what a great site this is. be well, @zeropercent. your strength and forethought sounds amazing.

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 7 months, 1 week ago

    Thanks i needed to hear that😊

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 7 months, 1 week ago

    Thanks for the encouragement 😊

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 7 months, 1 week ago

    It was. Feels great to be a non drinker again😁

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 7 months, 1 week ago

    Well done awesome effort keep those days growing😁

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 7 months, 1 week ago

    The main thing is that we just get rid of it whichever way works!

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 7 months, 1 week ago

    I know not easy but always possible 😁

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 7 months, 1 week ago

    Thank you! So excited to be back on the sober side!

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 7 months, 1 week ago

    Thanks lizzy much appreciated!

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 7 months, 1 week ago

    Thank you! Had some bottles of beer to get rid of too but opted to tip those out instead😁

  • Hi everybody. I haven’t posted in a long time because unfortunately there were no milestones to brag about and i was too ashamed to admit I was back to another day 1. I didn’t want to be one of those people who are constantly coming back on here adamant that this is it this time yet go straight back to booze after finding the first convenient excuse to opt out of sobriety. Seemed like weakness to me but that was simply how my mind framed the situation. In reality it takes alot of courage and strength to keep fighting and coming back after repeated failures to become a sober human being. So here i go once again. Round 4. I had one can of bourbon left over from last night. I placed it on my lawn and lined it up with my golf club and swung like i was going for a hole in one. It exploded on the spot leaving a little mangled mess of aluminium can. I know the norm is to go down the sink but hey this was much more fun. I don’t drink. 😊

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 10 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thanks lizzy. I think you guys are right i definitely need more tools. Very important i get it right this time as i really don’t want anymore day 1’s!

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 10 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thank you!

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 10 months, 2 weeks ago

    Thanks! Just ordered it looks like a really worthwhile read☺

  • Day 1 again. Unfortunately my last effort only lasted 30 or so days nothing on the 400 days i achieved last time. I really hope i can keep it away for good this time. Probably managed to put away close to 20 drinks yesterday afternoon all while going about my normal day. Running errands, few jobs at work and spending time with family pretending like everything is normal. Sometimes i quit drinking because my habits have been exposed. Or i quit because m scared of the damage I’m doing to my vital organs. This time i realised the alcohol really does take away any sense of morality that is gifted to us and makes us good human beings. I hadn’t found rock bottom until yesterday and not at all keen to stick around. Time to climb back up the mountain where the view is better and hold on tighter than ever before…

    • Hey @zeropercent good on you getting straight back on track.

      Check out Rational Recovery. Really worth a look.

    • That is a seriously great track record there the first time! Take comfort in that – you can obviously do hard things. I too want to be a better person , the much calmer nicer one ! Keep trying and best wishes to you.

    • You can do this @zeropercent 🙂 It sounds like you need to add a few more tools to your sober toolbox. I agree with @enzedgirl about Rational Recovery and you can check out the website http://www.rational.org
      🙂

      • Thanks lizzy. I think you guys are right i definitely need more tools. Very important i get it right this time as i really don’t want anymore day 1’s!

    • We only learn from our mistakes,so,you’ll be stronger this time round.sometimes you have to go back to remember how crap that feeling is again! If only we could put that in a bottle,we’d take off the lid,have a sniff,and remember all the mess it causes us.Good luck

    • All the very best @zeropercent. Youve done all those days before,Im very sure you could do it again. I cant even imaging doing 400 days. I think you are amazing to do that. Up the mountain we go. Im with you.

    • @Zeropercent, welcome back!

    • It’s not your fault.
      Well done on wanting to get right back up. My therapist says that is referred to as a “lapse” and not a “relapse”. Now might be a good time to double up on the self-care and also extra tools like finding an AA sponsor or having an alcohol support hotline on speed dial just so you know someone is there, 24/7 should you think “drinking soon”.

      oxoxox

      I am so glad you’re here!

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    I know and your right it is by far a better existence to be sober!

  • zeropercent posted an update 1 year ago

    Really appreciated the kind words and encouragement from everyone the other day when i recommitted to being sober after having to reset the clock from a 400 plus day effort. Had my 1st real test today when i attended a funeral at the local RSA where the bar was free and all were encouraged to have a rum and coke in honour of the departed. In a room packed with over 150 people i was quite possibly the only person without an alcoholic beverage in hand. Not for a second did i feel compelled or obliged to drink which was strange considering im only on day 5. I guess i really could draw on the habits of those 400 sober days i thought i had thrown away because so many of you reminded me that those days were never lost at all. Such good advice and such an amazing community we have here in our little corner of the web

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    Thanks @lorna i feel like a new kid myself again looking up to all these people on huge numbers of af days. But it is reassuring to know its possible and i can get there again. You are definitely in the right place i also live rural and would struggle with aa. This is next best thing if not better because its always here. Everyones in the same boat whether day 1 or 1000. You can do this!

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Glad you could relate. Hope your day 3 has been as good as mine 🙂

    • lorna replied 1 year ago

      Think your 400 day achievement was outstanding as I’m anew kid on the block. Glad you have bounced back as revisiting misery was a reminder of where you don’t want to be . Hold your head up.

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Thanks!

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Yeah never fun going back to booze. But great to be back here!

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Thanks so much!

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Thanks steve. Its great so many of you have reiterated the importance of those 400 days. Needed that

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Thank you!

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Thanks for the feedback much appreciated!

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Thanks i know i can!

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Awesome advice thank you!

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Thanks so nice to have you guys remind me those 400 days were never lost at all

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Thank you!

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Thanks dave

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    So true i find straight time works well when you are but not so good when your not. Always slip into mentality that i need to make the most of drinking before i have to give up again. Crazy.

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Thanks heaps for that!

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    I guess everyone experiences different levels of darkness so whatever it was like before no doubt it will be the same. For me that darkness was been sneaky and selfish and not how i want to live. Thanks so much for support

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Thanks i needed that

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 1 year, 1 month ago

    Thank you!

  • A few months ago i proudly passed the 400 day mark but not long after gave into temptation and pressure at a good mates stag do. I thought i would be strong enough to go along and abstain and started the day well explaining that i didn’t drink. But i didn’t feel comfortable constantly explaining why and been truthful that i was actually an alcoholic. So rather than make myself look weak i threw away 400 days of hard work and followed the other lemmings down the cliff. Some seriously flawed male logic. So for the last few months i have been again living the life of a problem drinker. I can report that absolutely nothing has changed in case anyone was thinking about going back to see what its like. It’s taken me a while to get back to the mindset i need to carry to recommit to living sober. I bought a 4 pack of bourbon and cola yesterday with no idea of how the afternoon would pan out. Before i had a chance to crack a can had a call from a person very special to me. It was enough to interupt the drinking mission i was about to embark on as 4 bourbons would have led to much more. So after much deep thinking and facing truths those 4 full cans each went out the window as i drove home making sure they hit the road hard. I know i shouldn’t have littered so blatantly but hey i needed to destroy that alcohol before it destroyed me or someone else. Day 2.

    • @zeropercent – you are a brave man for coming back after 400 days. it takes a shit ton of courage to throw those cans out. You know how awesome this sober life can be….just jump right back in…no better day than today, friend! Welcome back!

    • Those 400 days are still an amazing achievement – they’re not gone. If anything, it’s proof that you can do it again.

    • Please please please write a post on what happened. Explain how only darkness awaits those who return to that world. Please share your experiences. You could save someone else from making that same destructive decision. It will also be healing for you to write it down and share it with us, your support team. If you tell us what’s going on, we won’t let you fall again. We will help and always be here for you.
      Welcome home.

      • I guess everyone experiences different levels of darkness so whatever it was like before no doubt it will be the same. For me that darkness was been sneaky and selfish and not how i want to live. Thanks so much for support

    • Thanks for your honesty @zeropercent. This is a good cautionary tale, but im really sorry you went through it. Awesome that you have come back, welcome back. Kia kaha.

    • You did not throw away 400 days. You still have those. I think it takes us longer to come back and sober up again because we are all so hung up on straight time. I’m glad you’re back. I love your story about littering. Sometimes it feels so good to do something dramatic to feel how y ou feel about it all. I am so glad you’re back. I have gone back to drinking after being sober for a long time, and you are so right. You just go straight back to how you were. It’s awful. I’m on day 2 again. Welcome back home. I’m glad you’re here!

      • So true i find straight time works well when you are but not so good when your not. Always slip into mentality that i need to make the most of drinking before i have to give up again. Crazy.

    • I think littering would be a long way down the list of the problems caused by my drinking. You know how to do this and you know the challenges ahead. You also know it’s worth it. Good on ya.

    • Hugs to you @zeropercent. ‘Followed the other lemmings down the cliff’. So true. Thanks for sharing and shining a light for us here on LS. You can do this again. You know what it takes. Deep breaths and get on in there 🙂

    • Such an honest post!! Hold on to those 400 days, no one can take them away from you as only you put the hard graft in there and deserve to still feel proud of them. Good on ya mate for day 2, you can so do this but tune in here as much as possible because I think this is the very best support, therapy on offer!!! x

    • Well done getting on that track again @zeropercent. I’d just add, I see no reason why you need to announce you’re an alcoholic at any social event, if you don’t want to. In fact if it’s getting in the way of staying AF in company, then that expectation is not serving you. It’s no-one else’s business why you don’t want to drink. It works for me to just say: I don’t drink. Or just: no thanks (firmly). It’s no-one’s business why. It’s no-one’s damn business if I don’t want to do a line of coke, or I don’t want a piece of desert, or I don’t want to eat the meat dinner or whatever else I don’t do and I’ll only explain why if i feel like it’s a situation where that person will respect that – cos otherwise I undermine myself. A stag do is a lot of pressure for a lot of time. So, that happened. Now you know. 😀 It’s so cool you’re back here – kudos to you.

    • Thanks for sharing, and good on you for falling down and then getting back up and keep on going. 400 days is so awesome and you know you can do it again!

    • Hey, I just wanted to say I did something similar a while back, drank after quitting for 3 months and then later drank after quitting for a year. The first days back are tough but you do still carry all you learned about being sober with you, and the habits of those 400 days are still part of you, too. it took me a long time to get past the social pull of the drink, but iI did and you will, too. Hope your day is good!

    • Thank you, @zeropercent. These warnings are very powerful, I really appreciate it. Since you’ve already proven that you can do it, you’re going to be a huge success.

    • @zeropercent. Be kind to yourself. What happened to you could have happened to anyone of us in this LS community. We all walk a fine line. So good on you for getting back on your horse and continuing your journey to live an AF life. As many have already said, those 400 days mean a lot. They didn’t go for naught. Draw upon those 400 days of sobriety and go forward. Thanks for coming back and sharing your experience.

    • zeropercent, so so glad you littered. Darn right it better gets destroyed before it destroys you.
      400 days is amazing and I REALLY appreciate the warning because I am in the 400’s now and noticed a weird flat sense of complacency, and a few unusually strong drinking triggers as of lately.

      As you wrote, I know i’d be back to buying 2 bottles of red wine asap if I bought into the lie that “I could probably moderate by now…”

      I am so glad you are here, and hope you stick around. Those 400 days still matter. Like they did before. Onward and upward mate, you gave got this.

      oxoxox

    • Welcome back, brave and courageous soul @zeropercent xx

    • It’s so good to read this honest post. I too stumbled 2 days ago after 92 days for the second time. The wine evil witch can just jump when you least expect it. One day at a time…so they say. So back to day 2. Xx

      • Glad you could relate. Hope your day 3 has been as good as mine 🙂

        • lorna replied 1 year ago

          Think your 400 day achievement was outstanding as I’m anew kid on the block. Glad you have bounced back as revisiting misery was a reminder of where you don’t want to be . Hold your head up.

    • Yeah never fun going back to booze. But great to be back here!

    • Thanks @lorna i feel like a new kid myself again looking up to all these people on huge numbers of af days. But it is reassuring to know its possible and i can get there again. You are definitely in the right place i also live rural and would struggle with aa. This is next best thing if not better because its always here. Everyones in the same boat whether day 1 or 1000. You can do this!

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 1 year, 5 months ago

    Thanks for the kind words people. It’s great to share the milestones with people who really understand what they mean!

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 1 year, 5 months ago

    Well done @lizzy! Gotta love those big milestone dates. I just hit the big 365 so definitely eyeing up the 500 day mark next. Congrats!

  • Day 1 . . . . . of year 2!!!! Just a little chuffed with myself to safely and honestly say i have completed an entire year alcohol free. It wasn’t easy but just had to believe it was possible and that life would turn out better for the effort. And it definately has. I feel healthier and stronger, happier and wiser. Still need to stay strong and focussed but so much easier now that last drink is a distant memory. I think a little present for myself is in order……

  • 250 days sober today. Another big solid number to celebrate. It’s been a tough year on the farm with constant wet weather, staff problems, dead cows, dead dog, and i even managed to set the tractor on fire this week! So many little excuses to “unwind” with a beer or 20. But I have safely managed to resist and am more motivated than ever to keep alcohol out of my life. I don’t need to mask life’s ups and downs with something that will only ever pull you further down in the long run. Not worth it at all.

    • Hey well done You! Congratulations. And never were truer words spoken. Things will start looking up on the farm now…….you’ve had the 3 bad things.

    • Hey hey! That’s a pretty freaking cool huge number of days sober!

    • Huge congrats @zeropercent on 250 days. Sounds like a helluva challenging year, would’ve been far worse w booze. : ) days ahead

    • Sincere congrats on such an inspiring achievement, especially after facing all the difficult challenges you described. I take my hat off to you, Sir! Thanks for posting this, it really helps to see such success. 250 woop!!

    • Great number AND great perspective! Perfectly said. Well done @zeropercent.

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 1 year, 11 months ago

    Thanks for all the kind encouraging words people. I know I would never have gotten this far if I hadn’t stumbled across this awesome online community. Just wish I’d found it much sooner!

  • zeropercent posted a new activity comment 1 year, 11 months ago

    Awesome effort you should be very proud! Looking forward to hearing you tick off a whole year 🙂

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