• Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    @freedom1025 the shame was really increasing for me. Feeling better day by day. It was nice to wake up without regrets. Have a great day

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    I am in the same boat as you @missbennet! Ugh! I looked back to see when I joined this site and it was 5 flipping years ago! Once I am a couple days in the bargaining in my head starts. Let’s get to 10 days together!

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    @leslielily❤️ thank you!

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    @tgrim, just started to re read it! Such a different perspective right?!

    • YESSSSSSSS! Very thankful I stumbled upon it. Its basically rewired my thinking. I’m very curious to see if it lasts for me because I’m shooting for a forever change.

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    @leslielily, ugh! The guilt! That’s what really made me want to finally stop. I can only imagine how good it’ll feel to loose all of that! Enjoy your rest

  • Whogoessober posted an update 1 month ago

    Just lost my whole post! Bummer. Such is life. Day three here this time around and I love waking up and reading everyone updates. Tonight I will be the designated driver for my nieces 21st. They want to go down town, not worried about triggers. I personally do not like going into the big city and drinking in such a public setting. I have been doing the back and forth for so long now, it’s just insane. I am ready to be done with how shitty I feel about myself when drinking. My anxiety has been horrible, especially in the middle of the night. Working through the day by day healing.

    • Each day will get better. I used to wake up in the middle of the night, heart pounding and filled with a sick feeling of dreadful shame. It was eating me alive. Day by day it gets so much better. Stay close friend. xoxo

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    @treehugger, I need to stop looking back!

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Thanks @jocord. I really want to succeed. I know I need to be strong and hold tight to my resolve to quit!

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    @Lucy, I have watched you post and have been so encouraged by your evolution! I appreciate your words. And middle of the night anxiety has been horrible lately. I am ready to be done.

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    @mrschurchill moderation screwed me over so much. I drank so.much.wine last weekend. I have rescheduled my yearly labs to let my liver heal up a bit. Such bull shit

  • Whogoessober posted an update 1 month ago

    day 2. I have failed at moderation and attempts to be alcohol free for years. It feels like I joined this site ages ago and every time I drink again it’s always on the back of my mind. I hardly ever post when I visit because I am afraid of failing. I know I can do this I just need to want it enough. My problem is I tell myself I really don’t have a problem. That my intake is normal and even though it may not be horrible, it’s horrible for me. I need to be done. My anxiety has sky rocketed and I am frustrated with myself. I read everyone posting about how good it is to be free and I want that. So this time around I will post, hold myself accountable!

    • I resonate with you very much on this. I’m a wine mom (tho not really a “mom”) I am not a falling down drunk or someone who has blackouts. I just drank too much… every day. At about 5 PM… I’d pour the wine and then I’d drink until I was blotto. (Just a side note here… I would LOVE a drink right now but I’m not going to drink.) Anyhoo. I can’t moderate. I drink… or I don’t. It’s easier, frankly, to just remain completely AF than to try to moderate.

      • @mrschurchill moderation screwed me over so much. I drank so.much.wine last weekend. I have rescheduled my yearly labs to let my liver heal up a bit. Such bull shit

    • Lucy replied 1 month ago

      I always felt a failure when i picked up again @Whogoessober, I would not come back on here, but when i really needed to this is the 1st place I came back to.. No one here judges you, were all in the same boat..Alcoholism is an illness (dispite what some books say) and I will always call myself an alcoholic because this is keeping me sober. I do know anxiety is worse when we drink, I had bad panic attacks in the mornings and my depression was bad to. Take one day at a time and see how you get on.. Remember no one here will judge you just support you.. much love and keep posting x

      • @Lucy, I have watched you post and have been so encouraged by your evolution! I appreciate your words. And middle of the night anxiety has been horrible lately. I am ready to be done.

    • It really helps to post! You can’t get support if we don’t see you. You are brave to open yourself up to this group. Well done! What helped me in the beginning was to ask myself everyday “what is one good reason to drink right now?” There never was a good one. Anxiety? Nope, there are healthier alternatives. Boredom? Nope. Hungry? Eat. Lonely? Post here. Because I feel slighted? Grow up. It does get easier, trust us!

    • @Whogoessober – when I first stopped drinking one of my strategies was to read, read, read. Sobriety books, addiction books, I joined here and read the members feed…the more I read the more I realised that I was an alcoholic. I think deep down only you can know what goes on inside your head when you drink, when you don’t, the reaction that you have once alcohol first enters your system. There are some who can moderate, but I believe that these are people who have experienced periods of alcohol abuse, as opposed to having an alcohol addiction. Unfortunately, there is such a fine line between the two, that many don’t understand or recognise what’s happening to them until it’s too late and they’ve crossed that line into addiction. From my personal experience, I cannot moderate. I tried and failed, and typical of addiction each time my drinking got progressively worse. Then, one day, I made a decision to stop, forever. I’ve never looked back, it was a bloody hard process no question, but I am free and alive. No regrets xo

    • Don’t be afraid not to reach out because you might fail. That has been the case for so many here. Nobody is judging your failures – everyone just wants to help everyone else succeed. If failure wasn’t a reality, why would we even need this community – right? Stay close, keep posting! I agree 100% with @Treehugger – read read read – the more I read, the more I realized what a problem I had. Recognizing that, and hearing from those who have freedom from alcohol – totally motivates me to keep moving forward in sobriety.

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 4 months, 1 week ago

    @kjpeche I am right there with you. I too have tried sobriety for years. I am on day 10. I am really enjoying the Home podcasts on ITunes. It is Laura McKowen and Holly from HipSobriety.

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 9 months ago

    Absolutely! It was never enough. Yuck!

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 9 months ago

    Memories your grandson won’t forget!

  • Whogoessober posted an update 9 months ago

    Day 8. Cleaning the bathroom last night and my 10 year peaked in to see what was wrong. She thought I was throwing up as I leaned over the toilet. I didn’t have to ask why she would think that, she has probably seen it before. It is easy for me to talk myself into drinking again. I wasn’t that bad, I will limit myself to 2 bottles of wine a week(which never worked) But I need to hold onto all the fuck ups that led me here. Last night was a family dinner at my house. A green light to drink and drink alot, I didn’t have to drive anywhere. It was also the first time I realized the only person I will be letting down is myself. I didn’t drink, when urges came I thought about what it would feel like if I was drinking……wanting more, sluring my words, forgetting half the night. I am so happy to never have to forget a conversation after too many drinks. I became pretty good at pretending to remember what the fuck I said. Well, happy Monday!

    • Well said. We need to remember that bad moments, not to feel bad about them, but to learn from them.

    • Well put! Kids are so on to it eh!

    • Yeah hold on to those fuck ups. That’s the reality of the booze. Yuck, such promises of a great life and happiness. All lies. Awesome work on day 8!!!

    • That was the worst thing, pretending to remember! AHH don’t miss that either. Well done @whogoessober

    • That’s awesome I had a similar “ouch” moment with my son @whogoessober you should be very proud of yourself! Happy sober Tuesday x

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 9 months ago

    I truly appreciate all this advice! Xxoo

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 9 months ago

    Thank you @Amy

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 9 months ago

    Yes. I keep thinking if I would have just quit 3 years ago I wouldn’t still be dealing with this! Grounhogs day

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 9 months ago

    @Tom4500 yes, no matter what. I definitely need to stop with the back and forth. Which is torture. So much space is being taken up with thinking about alcohol, then quitting, then moderation. What a waste.

    • I think @tom4500 has nailed it. good luck @whogoessober. i played with quitting for this amount of time, then this amount of time, now its forever and it is so much easier. make your choice, my friend, and join the freedom of being able to make another choice besides quitting alcohol. there are other big choices after that one. keep posting, can’t wait to here about your next choice.

  • Whogoessober posted an update 9 months ago

    Day 6…..this is 3 years after joining this site and more then 50 day ones. I struggle most with the mind games I play with myself. Of course it’s the constant moderation game I tell myself I will keep to this time around. Typing this out it seems so clear, just be strong and don’t drink. But it is so hard

    • It’s hard, but it’s simple. It’s simple, but it isn’t always easy. It isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it. The best part…for much of the time, it’s easy, and it’s so, so worth it. Moderation = the wine witch = your addictive brain. I feel for you, fifty day ones….I know that’s an estimate, but I know what you mean…but that’s a lot. Day 1’s are hard, first weeks are hard. Hope you find your answer. For me, it was quitting for good, no matter what. That was how I found the joy and relief of being AF. Not always easy, true. But most of the time, it’s pretty easy now.

      • @Tom4500 yes, no matter what. I definitely need to stop with the back and forth. Which is torture. So much space is being taken up with thinking about alcohol, then quitting, then moderation. What a waste.

        • I think @tom4500 has nailed it. good luck @whogoessober. i played with quitting for this amount of time, then this amount of time, now its forever and it is so much easier. make your choice, my friend, and join the freedom of being able to make another choice besides quitting alcohol. there are other big choices after that one. keep posting, can’t wait to here about your next choice.

      • Legend! Seconded!

    • You can do it! It’s a pretty big deal to make the commitment to be AF. Keep in mind it is also a lot of pressure. I tell myself, one foot in front of the other. One day at a time. And when I have thought “one glass of wine won’t hurt. I’ve earned it”, I quickly have an alternative ready. I reward myself with a tonic and lime in a pretty glass. Or a mocktini. Somehow it makes me feel less deprived. Good luck!

    • Thank you @Amy

    • I found hanging onto the idea I could eventually drink again to be the source of my mind games. It’s much easier to make the decision to never drink again and follow that every day. It’s easier but also very hard to get to that decision. I asked myself, at this point in my life what does alcohol add and what is the very worst thing that could happen if I gave it up altogether? I’m not missing a thing except a buzz every now and then and I just acknowledge that and move on.

      • I so agree @Jocord that its way easier to make the decision to never drink again and take it day by day. To moderate was torture and used up so much emotional energy that I just couldnt do it.

      • Best ever post about why giving up for life is the perfect solution!

    • I read somewhere that it takes more energy and hard work to moderate than to walk away completely. Harder in the short term but much easier in the long term.

      • @ehogoessober I think you’ve hit they nail on the head – the back and forth is self-torture!

        It sounds to me like you are back with the desire to stop torturing yourself, to stop with the godawful merry go round of Groundhog day ones and get alcohol free.

        There’s a saying here – kitchen sink recovery. Throw the kitchen sink at it! You need to make your final decision to be alcohol free. And you need a detailed plan about how to achieve that.

        For example no alcohol in the house, lots of nice treat foods and AF drinks in, post here every day, telling a support person, exit plans for boozy situations, reading AFluterature, listening to podcasts, learning meditation, and above all – no drinking, no matter what. you name it, it needs to be on your personal plan – but it needs to be yours and you need to own it.

        I wish you all the luck and love and energy in the world. This is not a simple easy thing.

      • Yes so true!!!

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 2 years, 4 months ago

    I’m starting it for the 2nd time. I really liked it!

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 2 years, 4 months ago

    Mornings are the best when you have a clear head @spilly!

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 2 years, 4 months ago

    Love this @spilly. It’s been a long road for me, not in the sense of crazy drunkenness, but self understanding. I have learned a lot through all of this and continue to. Even with slip ups. Keep in touch! I’m going to check out those books too, thanks!

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 2 years, 4 months ago

    @spilly, don’t be so hard on yourself! And don’t give up, it’s disappointing to slip but its apart of your journey. I’m sure you learned a little from it. Just keep moving foward! I love reading also, just finished The Naked Mind and Drinking, A love Story. Both amazing! Let me know how you like the book!

    • @whogoessober Thank you so much, nearing the end of day one and feeling calmer each hour that passes and gets closer to bed time! I will do, I’ve also read Drunk Mom and Mad Girl, both absolutely fascinating reads, highly recommended x

    • @whogoessober ps your ‘my story’ is exactly my position. x

      • Love this @spilly. It’s been a long road for me, not in the sense of crazy drunkenness, but self understanding. I have learned a lot through all of this and continue to. Even with slip ups. Keep in touch! I’m going to check out those books too, thanks!

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 2 years, 4 months ago

    @StarGirl, click on your picture. Then below your story you’ll see profile, click that, then click edit. Hope that isnt too confusing!!

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 2 years, 4 months ago

    What about contacting recovery centers near you, maybe they’ll have contacts for support groups. And @kayjay29 I had to giggle when you described the AA group. I’m from the Pacific Northwest!

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 2 years, 5 months ago

    22 days! Yah hooo @Lucy!

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 2 years, 5 months ago

    So many positive changes!

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 2 years, 5 months ago

    That is amazing @Lizzy!

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 2 years, 5 months ago

    Good work @snaphu! I feel like every time I am successful at turning down the urge to drink my strength and confidence grows!

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 2 years, 5 months ago

    You’ll do great @Ashley2fran! I went to a concert last night and stayed sober! I had a blast, drinking isn’t a option anymore. I can’t do it! It clearly hasn’t done me any favors! Plus, people watching sober is a blast!

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 2 years, 5 months ago

    Awesome job on day 50! How is yoga training going @delgirl68?

    • Really loving what I’m learning, thanks so much for asking!! Best decision I’ve made, and you know what?, it would never have happened if I was still drinking!

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 2 years, 5 months ago

    Awesome @Mrsjska. We are on the same path! Good luck with the meds! Have a great day

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 2 years, 5 months ago

    Thank you @Lizzy! I’ve noticed alot has been mentioned about The Bubble Hour. I will definitely check it out!

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 2 years, 5 months ago

    I love feeling in control, such a differece than being shitty drunk @Honner!

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 2 years, 5 months ago

    That is heartbreaking @Prudence. Your generosity will be greatly appreciated I am sure. I was able to tidy up and mow this weekend, always looks so nice!

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 2 years, 5 months ago

    I’m sorry you are not feeling well @Brownie. It will get easier, don’t give up! You can do this!

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 2 years, 5 months ago

    I hope you wake with clarity and strength @SteveoW. I also recommend Jason Vales book! Definitely adds new insights to alcohol. Right now I’m reading The Naked Mind and am really loving it.

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 2 years, 5 months ago

    Good work on day 1 @birdandberry. You will stay sober! You can do this

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 2 years, 5 months ago

    Glad you are here @mrsandy20

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 2 years, 5 months ago

    Being clear headed is amazing! And so is coffee! Have a great day @Wvlheel

  • Day 16! Yessssss! I’ve made it trough dinner and drinks with friends, birthday dinners, and the dreaded evenings at home without wine. I have even told my husband a little of my plan. I know in the past I never told anyone I was going AF because I was scared I’d fail. It was hard, but I’ve realized every time I’ve stayed alcohol free during these settings, I felt stronger, like maybe I can do this! I’ve sunk my self in every sobriety book possible and have been checking in here 2-3x a day! This site has been my saving grace! I just keep telling myself I can’t drink, it’s not a option. I can kill myself. I’ve blacked out, more than once and that scares me. Tonight I’m going to a Eric Church concert. I feel strong and excited to experience this sober. To not waste shit loads of money on booze and to drive myself home at the end! Have a fabulous day

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 2 years, 5 months ago

    Wow @Jessi! That is something to celebrate! Good work

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 2 years, 5 months ago

    Sounds so familiar @Kate23. Being a mom is so hard. Don’t torture yourself, just move foward.

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 2 years, 5 months ago

    I can totally relate, especially how we try to convince ourselves it’s not that bad. You can do this! Keep checking in!

  • I appreciate more than anything hearing how would wonderful life is with out booze in it! Definitely keeps me going!

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 2 years, 5 months ago

    I totally get that @delgirl68! And your story is alot like mine! Though, my stints at sobriety were only due to pregnancy! Keep checking in!

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 2 years, 5 months ago

    8 months must have felt great! You can do it, this site is very encouraging! I have thrown myself in every alcohol book possible! Good job on day 3

  • Whogoessober posted a new activity comment 2 years, 5 months ago

    Such a accomplishment @elhall. Enjoy your ‘me time’ day!

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