• WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 5 hours, 52 minutes ago

    Hello and welcome!

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 6 hours, 51 minutes ago

    I would come home from work and climb right into my pajamas, that signaled to my brain that I was not going to the liquor store.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 day, 4 hours ago

    Well done on 35 days! Sober vacations rock!

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 day, 10 hours ago

    @Lee I’m one of the oldest folks in my department, the youngsters are all heavy drinkers, they go out together several nights a week and I know several of them drink alone a lot of nights. My department head just split from his wife of 30 years and I know it has to do with his alcohol problem. It all makes me very sad sometimes.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 day, 11 hours ago

    Oh my, so many hard things going on at once! Hope all goes well for both of your parents.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 day, 11 hours ago

    Well done on day four! Every time you resist that urhe you get stronger. Sticking by here is a good stategy, plenty of good reading on the blog and advice pages, lots of caring and unjudgmental support.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 day, 11 hours ago

    You’re here and talking and that counts for a lot! Keep coming back!

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 day, 11 hours ago

    Congratulations on 108 days and that birthday! I have my work mates that would love to see me go out and have a few…they tell me how much ” fun” I was. Well that “fun” always ended up causing a pile of regrets and I’m just not willing to go back there. Must be interesting to be at a job where they only know the new sober you.

    • It is @wakingowl, and it’s a first. Most are older and no one makes plans for after work, they go home to their spouses after having their one shift drink that complementary at work. Some may hit it up when they get home. None of my business though. I’ve heard stories of a few people that were let go, in the past, for being drunk at work . Would be the case for me if I were to ever start drinking again. Uhg. Just the thought!

      • @Lee I’m one of the oldest folks in my department, the youngsters are all heavy drinkers, they go out together several nights a week and I know several of them drink alone a lot of nights. My department head just split from his wife of 30 years and I know it has to do with his alcohol problem. It all makes me very sad sometimes.

  • Day 150! Quite frankly I never thought I’d make it to day 30 let alone day 150. Thank you everyone for all the support and kind advice that got me this far! Life is not perfect by any means but I am navigating it fully and fully present.
    For all you folks just starting out…it can be done, it’s not easy but I have navigated, family events, medical emegencies, work blowouts and even taken a sober vacation. Sobriety has given me room to start exploring and healing from my childhood abuse, it’s allowed me to stand back and look at my marriage from a more neutral platform, it’s allowing me to navigate my mother’s old age with more equanimity. None of them easy but all things I’m now able to be grateful for.
    Today the Sun is shining, my wrens are feeding their babies, my garden is blooming. I will take a walk before my half day at the library and pledge to another AF day!

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 4 days, 11 hours ago

    Congratulations on being there for your son when he needed you, three weeks is right around the corner!

  • Day 147 here in rainy New England. Three consecutive days with no Sun is making everyone grumpy
    and sleepy. Seems like vacation was a million miles away, jumped right back in the fray of six day work weeks, unwell Mum, unemployed hubby, old cat has taken to peeing on the floor instead of in her box, daughter is about to make unsound financial decisions. Life goes on as normal in all it’s raw unadulterated glory. I will not let any one issue eat my entire brain space today, there will be yoga and green juice and time spent outdoors even though it’s kind of cruddy. Rainy days used to be another excuse for drinking, now they’re for reading, journaling, tea drinking and cookie eating, also checking in here to see how hard everyone is working and to gain inspiration for another day of fighting the good fight.
    Onwards and upwards into another AF day.

    • Well done on Day 147! I used to live in New England and know all-to-well how the sun hides for way too long. Yoga, green juice, a rainy walk, reading, journaling, tea drinking and cookie eating all sound so nice and relaxing. And you’ll feel so good later! Sorry to hear of all of the challenges going on…life keeps us on our toes, doesn’t it? Stay strong. You’re doing so well!

    • Lord, what a contrast to your beautiful holiday. Can you dwell on it as you walk, make a photo book, keep absorbing the loveliness along with your nutrition?

    • Wow how life can change from one week to the next….one hour to the next…..you sound so conscious of what is going on around you…good for you @wakingowl,xx.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 4 days, 11 hours ago

    @Lee thanks for thinking about me, was just about to post for the first time in days. Good on you for 105 days!
    It does seem we inhabit our own little world some days, it’s amazing how much time and space staying clean and healthy takes up.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    Congratulations! So happy for you!

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    @jocord Actually people were helping themselves out of wine boxes…very liberally, one show the art was awesome, at the other one not so much.

  • WakingOwl posted an update 1 week, 2 days ago

    Day 142 a Sunday morning, getting ready to go off to work. Went to two different art openings last night where the only thing provided to drink was…you guessed it, cheap wine. Not a bottle of still or bubbly water to be seen. I was feeling very awkward and the old ..you can just have one … ran through my head. Told myself, nope it never ends at just one and kicked that to the curb, left a touch early, came home made dinner and a nice cup of tea.
    Onward into another AF day.

    • @WakingOwl you did so well.. we know we just can’t have the one drink.. leads me right back to square one.. we are re training our brains which is a great thing.. congrats 142 days x

    • Ugh, cheap wine. Probably in little plastic cups? How was the art? xo

      • @jocord Actually people were helping themselves out of wine boxes…very liberally, one show the art was awesome, at the other one not so much.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    I join you in not drinking today!

  • WakingOwl posted an update 1 week, 5 days ago

    Day 135, morning coffee and yoga, back to work today after three weeks of vacation. Thrown right back into the fray yesterday dealing with Mums health issues, appears the time has come that she can no longer live on her own. She agreed yesterday that the time has come to sell her car which has gone undriven for six months now. Will deal with county services when I get home to get her more in home help while we figure out the next steps. It’s essentially what I do for a living but it’s so hard when it’s your own parent.
    Use to be a Mum crisis would send me off to buy a bottle and I would wake up the next day, same crisis on hand and me a wilted mess. Today I will deal clear headed, reconnect with my coworkers and residents and make the most of my day.
    Onward and upwards into another AF day.

    • I’m sorry to hear your mom’s health issues have worsened. Well done keeping a clear head and taking each thing as it comes. Xo

    • It’s hard to see the parents become weak but there’s no way out, just a way through this time. You can do it with all your strength and love, not running away and hiding on the ground of a bottle. Wish you and your mum all the best!

    • I am really sorry to hear about your mom’s health declining. You’re a good daughter for taking care of all the practicalities regarding the next steps to ensure she is well taken care of. oxoxoox

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    So easy to spend our time ruminating or extrapolating when we could be expending our energies in positive ways. I’m starting to recognise it better when it’s coming now that I’m sober, but it’s still hard to head it off.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    Hello and welcome!

  • WakingOwl posted an update 1 week, 6 days ago

    .Day 132.. and home again! Let my ipad run out of juice four or five days ago and I decided to go the end of my vacation media free, a good thing to do. Had an amazing two days in Oregon, little place directly on a lake with a view of The Cascades, right next to a wet land preserve with amazing birding. A private road with no traffic or lights so the nights were the most profound quiet And dark I have ever experienced. The stars at night were stunning and there were owls calling! There were otters playing on the edge of the yard one morning and we took a six mile hike through the preserve and identified a dozen new birds. We went to Crater Lake where we got snowed on…only about a third of the drive around the rim was open because the rest is still snowed in. The water is a brilliant cobalt blue that is almost unreal. We went to the local hardware store which is known for it’s taxidermy collection, which was awesome …we both love taxidermy for some reason. Headed South after that and stayed at a charming inn outside of Redding CA. A friend of my sisters that she hadn’t seen in years was inadvertently traveling north and staying in the same town so we got together for dinner which was great fun. We then went on to Fremont to stay with an old friend of mine from Boston who moved west 20 years ago. We ate artichokes from her garden and a wonderful wild mushroom pie from the specialty bakery she runs, took a long sunset walk along the inner bay with San Franscisco off in the distance and kept company until early evening the next day after which my sister and I went on to our last night together at an airport hotel.
    This was the most amazing trip I have ever taken, we let each day take us where it would, put no pressure on ourselves to meet certain goals and reveled in each others company. At the airport my sister looked at me and said..” You know we’re doing this next year, and the year after that” Then we cried and said goodbye.
    If anyone is still…[Read more]

    • Sounds amazing @wakingowl! Love your last sentence, “….Happy to be facing whatever it will bring..” That says it all right there! We get happy again. What a huge reward! You sound recharged! brilliant! xo

    • Amazing. I’m so so so happy (and more than a bit envious) of you. What an exceptional experience. Thanks so much for talking us all along.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 6 days ago

    Good for you for recognising the need to have a plan! That’s important.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 4 days ago

    Wow, the trip itself sounds crazy but Rome sounds amazing!

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 4 days ago

    Congratulations on 3 weeks! Stand tall and be proud of yourself!

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 4 days ago

    Congratulations on 200 days and all the good things you’ve reconnected with in your sobriety.

  • Tis the wee hours of day 125
    We have left the redwoods and moved North and inland into Oregon. Our air bnb is a small house on the edge of a lake looking across to the southern edge of the Cascades. Was just out stargazing and the silence is profound. Just the lapping of the lake at the edge of the yard and night sounds from a nearby marsh. No traffic, no planes…
    In the morning we go to Crater Lake national park, parts of which we have found out are still inaccessible because of snowed in roads. We will see what we can see there then maybe go see Klamath Falls or go birding. The skies are amazingly clear at this elevation and the mountains snow topped, gorgeous.
    Tonight we had access to a full kitchen so we cooked, watched some television for the first time and
    worked on our lifelists, we have stacks of field guides and have been keeping track of everything we see, birds, animals, new trees and flowers. Today we identified three new birds! My birding goal was one particular woodpecker but so far no luck, but that is totally okay. I have seen sights I never thought I’d see and I feel more at peace than I have in years.
    AF vacations rock!

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 4 days ago

    Hello and welcome!

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 5 days ago

    @MalibuStacey -on the forward side of our upper arms so when we stand shoulder to shoulder they meet in the cleft where our arms touch.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 5 days ago

    Mine doesn’t drink but he’s an all day pot smoker and has no compunction about spending large amounts of non disposable income on pot. I was nearly 25 years sober before, he has never been substance free.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 5 days ago

    Yup, letting each day unfold as it may without the not so hidden agenda of the next drink is so much better!

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 5 days ago

    I would make a cup of tea, pick up a book, take a bath anything to distract myself for the first week, I would carry no cash and not drive past my favorite liquor store then change into pajamas as soon as I got home so I knew I wasn’t going out again. You can write a post and ask for support there, lots of helpful folks here.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 5 days ago

    I’m very much in the same place in my 36 year relationship. My husband has been unemployed for over a year while I’m working two jobs plus making jewelry for festivals I’m committed to as a vendor. Any attempt at serious conversation about long term finances and how this bodes for our future is met with hardcore resistence. I have always caved for the sake of keeping the peace and am trying to hold my ground pretty unsuccessfully.

    • Sounds so familiar @wakingowl! Mine eventually got a job after two years of no work (result of the last bust up) so I guess I should not complain. He does not have heaps of confidence so it was a big step for him…there, making excuses for him again, grrrr, he is a grown man and a dad for ****s sake so he should be able to take some responsibility! Does your partner drink? I am trying to establish right now how much of my partner’s behaviour is caused by his addiction…

      • Mine doesn’t drink but he’s an all day pot smoker and has no compunction about spending large amounts of non disposable income on pot. I was nearly 25 years sober before, he has never been substance free.

  • Day 123, So I did it, got ass over teakettle sober and went and got myself tattooed! Today was our last day in Crescent City and quiet, other than a trip for snacks…and tattoos. We each got one half of a rack of elk antlers so when we stand side by side it forms a full rack. Each half has five points to represent five siblings. For embellishment we each chose our favorite wildflower thus far, my sister the orange California poppy and myself the yellow California monkey flower. Very tasteful and well executed. My sister paid for mine as a gift for my upcoming birthday next month. For dinner we went to the nearby casino for a prime rib buffet – my first rime ever in a casino. I spent my declared limit of $10 on a slot machine, lost of course. We took a sunset walk on the beach where we found half a dozen tiny sand dollars the size of my thumbnail.
    Tomorrow we head inland and north to Chiloquin Oregon for two nights. My sister says our next accommodation is a small house on a lake and Crater Lake iself is only 30 minutes away. Her planning has been impeccable.
    Looking forward to tomorrows drive and another AF day.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 5 days ago

    Hello and welcome!

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 5 days ago

    Welcome!

    • Thanks. how to you stop those cravings?? can you suggest anything. I can get a week without drinking but then the cravings over power all my logic not to drink.

      • I am on Day 16 and the first week was easier than this last week for me. I have just been staying extra busy during the day, eating /snacking on some not so nutritious foods( which is not usual for me) drinking a ton of flavoured club soda, and making myself go to bed earlier at night to turn my cravings off. Some days are harder than others for sure. I am seeing a counselor tomorrow so I am going to talk to her about this exact thing and see if she can help me with other ideas. It is not easy for sure, so just keep trying different things, and popping on here helps…I almost caved yesterday but popped on and read some posts before bed and it seemed to help.

      • I would make a cup of tea, pick up a book, take a bath anything to distract myself for the first week, I would carry no cash and not drive past my favorite liquor store then change into pajamas as soon as I got home so I knew I wasn’t going out again. You can write a post and ask for support there, lots of helpful folks here.

      • Thank you for your help and insight. I will have to learn new tricks to combat those cravings. Maybe drink a large glass of water fast until my belly is full.

      • Hiya, @LouisKVincent. Good point. I think we all agree, knowledge is power in this game. We’re pretty fortunate to have some pretty extraordinary members here with quite a few years under their belts ~ not least of all, Mrs D, herself. Her Blog section here is brilliant. Also, fellow-member DaveH is nothing less than genius, in my estimation. Not only is he an active member here in the member’s feed, but he generously gifts our members with uploads of his books. You might just find ‘Alcohol in a Nutshell’ a superb launch-point, your DIAMOND, in fact. DaveH (aka Stan West). https://lyingminds.sixboats.co.nz/links/

      • Hi @louiskvincent Malibustacey has pointed you at my blog, and by all means feel free to go there for information or whatever, but please come back here. The single biggest thing that changed whether or not I could stay stopped was other people. It didn’t matter how hard I tried it wasn’t until I got myself among other people with this problem that I could beat it. Right here is a very powerful therapeutic community, and as long as you stay close to this group you are never alone in your struggle. Here’s looking forward to hearing from you about Day 2.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 6 days ago

    Good for you on day two. Be good to yourself, I pledge another AF day alongside you.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 6 days ago

    @jocord you’re funny…my only other tattoo was a sober one.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 6 days ago

    Just passed the midnight mark here. I too join you in not drinking this day.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 6 days ago

    The first days are tough but it gets better pretty fast, you just have to not take that first drink.
    Coming here every day was instrumental in my being sober today. So much good advice fom people who have been right where you are now.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 6 days ago

    @enzedgirl your reply really makes me want to build a deck when I get home from vacation…

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 6 days ago

    You’re closing in on three weeks!

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 6 days ago

    Hello and welcome!

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 6 days ago

    Hi Maxy, I’m grateful I found this site too, coming here has kept me sober.

  • Day 122 Another fabulous day with my sister, yesterday we did several different forest excursions, today we did three different beaches.
    One with a long hike in along a cliff to a secluded rocky cove where you have to keep track of the tide so you don’t get trapped. A second where we went beach combing and each found a sand dollar, and a third where we could see the coastal mountains of Oregon in the distance. We saw several herd of elk – our second beach stop had elk tracks everywhere in the sand. We did a little research and found out they go bathe in the ocean to discourage biting insects. Topped off our day with hot tubbing and star gazing.
    We’ve never spent this kind of time alone as adults, we’ve had long visits but one of us was always working so we only had evenings and maybe a full day or two. We have laughed so much, had truly deep conversations and been moved to tears I don’t know how many times by
    the immense beauty at every turn.
    No niggling voice in the back of my head wondering about my next drink to distract me. No time fretting over whether or not I could get away with ordering a second cocktail. I have been able to be fully present for every moment. As per our plan – we have no solid game plan for tomorrow though I think tattoos may happen.
    AF vacation rocks!

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 3 weeks ago

    Congratulations! One month is a huge step!

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 3 weeks ago

    @Buckeyeone Avenue of the Giants is about 3 or 4 hours north of Half Moon Bay…the Drive thru tree park is in Leggett. There are giant redwoods near to the city, Muir Woods and other locations. Purisima Creek Redwoods are right near Half Moon.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 3 weeks ago

    Hello Phantom309!

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 3 weeks ago

    Hello and welcome, a most helpful place to be!

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 3 weeks ago

    Travel safely and have a wonderful time!

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 3 weeks ago

    @heidi19 Thank You!

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 3 weeks ago

    @sober4real We’re in Crescent City, in a few days we move on to Chiloquin.

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