• Day 142 a Sunday morning, getting ready to go off to work. Went to two different art openings last night where the only thing provided to drink was…you guessed it, cheap wine. Not a bottle of still or bubbly water to be seen. I was feeling very awkward and the old ..you can just have one … ran through my head. Told myself, nope it never ends at just one and kicked that to the curb, left a touch early, came home made dinner and a nice cup of tea.
    Onward into another AF day.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 3 days, 3 hours ago

    I join you in not drinking today!

  • Day 135, morning coffee and yoga, back to work today after three weeks of vacation. Thrown right back into the fray yesterday dealing with Mums health issues, appears the time has come that she can no longer live on her own. She agreed yesterday that the time has come to sell her car which has gone undriven for six months now. Will deal with county services when I get home to get her more in home help while we figure out the next steps. It’s essentially what I do for a living but it’s so hard when it’s your own parent.
    Use to be a Mum crisis would send me off to buy a bottle and I would wake up the next day, same crisis on hand and me a wilted mess. Today I will deal clear headed, reconnect with my coworkers and residents and make the most of my day.
    Onward and upwards into another AF day.

    • I’m sorry to hear your mom’s health issues have worsened. Well done keeping a clear head and taking each thing as it comes. Xo

    • It’s hard to see the parents become weak but there’s no way out, just a way through this time. You can do it with all your strength and love, not running away and hiding on the ground of a bottle. Wish you and your mum all the best!

    • I am really sorry to hear about your mom’s health declining. You’re a good daughter for taking care of all the practicalities regarding the next steps to ensure she is well taken care of. oxoxoox

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 3 days, 21 hours ago

    So easy to spend our time ruminating or extrapolating when we could be expending our energies in positive ways. I’m starting to recognise it better when it’s coming now that I’m sober, but it’s still hard to head it off.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 4 days, 11 hours ago

    Hello and welcome!

  • .Day 132.. and home again! Let my ipad run out of juice four or five days ago and I decided to go the end of my vacation media free, a good thing to do. Had an amazing two days in Oregon, little place directly on a lake with a view of The Cascades, right next to a wet land preserve with amazing birding. A private road with no traffic or lights so the nights were the most profound quiet And dark I have ever experienced. The stars at night were stunning and there were owls calling! There were otters playing on the edge of the yard one morning and we took a six mile hike through the preserve and identified a dozen new birds. We went to Crater Lake where we got snowed on…only about a third of the drive around the rim was open because the rest is still snowed in. The water is a brilliant cobalt blue that is almost unreal. We went to the local hardware store which is known for it’s taxidermy collection, which was awesome …we both love taxidermy for some reason. Headed South after that and stayed at a charming inn outside of Redding CA. A friend of my sisters that she hadn’t seen in years was inadvertently traveling north and staying in the same town so we got together for dinner which was great fun. We then went on to Fremont to stay with an old friend of mine from Boston who moved west 20 years ago. We ate artichokes from her garden and a wonderful wild mushroom pie from the specialty bakery she runs, took a long sunset walk along the inner bay with San Franscisco off in the distance and kept company until early evening the next day after which my sister and I went on to our last night together at an airport hotel.
    This was the most amazing trip I have ever taken, we let each day take us where it would, put no pressure on ourselves to meet certain goals and reveled in each others company. At the airport my sister looked at me and said..” You know we’re doing this next year, and the year after that” Then we cried and said goodbye.
    If anyone is still…[Read more]

    • Sounds amazing @wakingowl! Love your last sentence, “….Happy to be facing whatever it will bring..” That says it all right there! We get happy again. What a huge reward! You sound recharged! brilliant! xo

    • Amazing. I’m so so so happy (and more than a bit envious) of you. What an exceptional experience. Thanks so much for talking us all along.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 4 days, 11 hours ago

    Good for you for recognising the need to have a plan! That’s important.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    Wow, the trip itself sounds crazy but Rome sounds amazing!

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    Congratulations on 3 weeks! Stand tall and be proud of yourself!

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    Congratulations on 200 days and all the good things you’ve reconnected with in your sobriety.

  • WakingOwl posted an update 1 week, 2 days ago

    Tis the wee hours of day 125
    We have left the redwoods and moved North and inland into Oregon. Our air bnb is a small house on the edge of a lake looking across to the southern edge of the Cascades. Was just out stargazing and the silence is profound. Just the lapping of the lake at the edge of the yard and night sounds from a nearby marsh. No traffic, no planes…
    In the morning we go to Crater Lake national park, parts of which we have found out are still inaccessible because of snowed in roads. We will see what we can see there then maybe go see Klamath Falls or go birding. The skies are amazingly clear at this elevation and the mountains snow topped, gorgeous.
    Tonight we had access to a full kitchen so we cooked, watched some television for the first time and
    worked on our lifelists, we have stacks of field guides and have been keeping track of everything we see, birds, animals, new trees and flowers. Today we identified three new birds! My birding goal was one particular woodpecker but so far no luck, but that is totally okay. I have seen sights I never thought I’d see and I feel more at peace than I have in years.
    AF vacations rock!

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    Hello and welcome!

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    @MalibuStacey -on the forward side of our upper arms so when we stand shoulder to shoulder they meet in the cleft where our arms touch.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    Mine doesn’t drink but he’s an all day pot smoker and has no compunction about spending large amounts of non disposable income on pot. I was nearly 25 years sober before, he has never been substance free.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    Yup, letting each day unfold as it may without the not so hidden agenda of the next drink is so much better!

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    I would make a cup of tea, pick up a book, take a bath anything to distract myself for the first week, I would carry no cash and not drive past my favorite liquor store then change into pajamas as soon as I got home so I knew I wasn’t going out again. You can write a post and ask for support there, lots of helpful folks here.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    I’m very much in the same place in my 36 year relationship. My husband has been unemployed for over a year while I’m working two jobs plus making jewelry for festivals I’m committed to as a vendor. Any attempt at serious conversation about long term finances and how this bodes for our future is met with hardcore resistence. I have always caved for the sake of keeping the peace and am trying to hold my ground pretty unsuccessfully.

    • Sounds so familiar @wakingowl! Mine eventually got a job after two years of no work (result of the last bust up) so I guess I should not complain. He does not have heaps of confidence so it was a big step for him…there, making excuses for him again, grrrr, he is a grown man and a dad for ****s sake so he should be able to take some responsibility! Does your partner drink? I am trying to establish right now how much of my partner’s behaviour is caused by his addiction…

      • Mine doesn’t drink but he’s an all day pot smoker and has no compunction about spending large amounts of non disposable income on pot. I was nearly 25 years sober before, he has never been substance free.

  • WakingOwl posted an update 1 week, 3 days ago

    Day 123, So I did it, got ass over teakettle sober and went and got myself tattooed! Today was our last day in Crescent City and quiet, other than a trip for snacks…and tattoos. We each got one half of a rack of elk antlers so when we stand side by side it forms a full rack. Each half has five points to represent five siblings. For embellishment we each chose our favorite wildflower thus far, my sister the orange California poppy and myself the yellow California monkey flower. Very tasteful and well executed. My sister paid for mine as a gift for my upcoming birthday next month. For dinner we went to the nearby casino for a prime rib buffet – my first rime ever in a casino. I spent my declared limit of $10 on a slot machine, lost of course. We took a sunset walk on the beach where we found half a dozen tiny sand dollars the size of my thumbnail.
    Tomorrow we head inland and north to Chiloquin Oregon for two nights. My sister says our next accommodation is a small house on a lake and Crater Lake iself is only 30 minutes away. Her planning has been impeccable.
    Looking forward to tomorrows drive and another AF day.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    Hello and welcome!

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    Welcome!

    • Thanks. how to you stop those cravings?? can you suggest anything. I can get a week without drinking but then the cravings over power all my logic not to drink.

      • I am on Day 16 and the first week was easier than this last week for me. I have just been staying extra busy during the day, eating /snacking on some not so nutritious foods( which is not usual for me) drinking a ton of flavoured club soda, and making myself go to bed earlier at night to turn my cravings off. Some days are harder than others for sure. I am seeing a counselor tomorrow so I am going to talk to her about this exact thing and see if she can help me with other ideas. It is not easy for sure, so just keep trying different things, and popping on here helps…I almost caved yesterday but popped on and read some posts before bed and it seemed to help.

      • I would make a cup of tea, pick up a book, take a bath anything to distract myself for the first week, I would carry no cash and not drive past my favorite liquor store then change into pajamas as soon as I got home so I knew I wasn’t going out again. You can write a post and ask for support there, lots of helpful folks here.

      • Thank you for your help and insight. I will have to learn new tricks to combat those cravings. Maybe drink a large glass of water fast until my belly is full.

      • Hiya, @LouisKVincent. Good point. I think we all agree, knowledge is power in this game. We’re pretty fortunate to have some pretty extraordinary members here with quite a few years under their belts ~ not least of all, Mrs D, herself. Her Blog section here is brilliant. Also, fellow-member DaveH is nothing less than genius, in my estimation. Not only is he an active member here in the member’s feed, but he generously gifts our members with uploads of his books. You might just find ‘Alcohol in a Nutshell’ a superb launch-point, your DIAMOND, in fact. DaveH (aka Stan West). https://lyingminds.sixboats.co.nz/links/

      • Hi @louiskvincent Malibustacey has pointed you at my blog, and by all means feel free to go there for information or whatever, but please come back here. The single biggest thing that changed whether or not I could stay stopped was other people. It didn’t matter how hard I tried it wasn’t until I got myself among other people with this problem that I could beat it. Right here is a very powerful therapeutic community, and as long as you stay close to this group you are never alone in your struggle. Here’s looking forward to hearing from you about Day 2.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    Good for you on day two. Be good to yourself, I pledge another AF day alongside you.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    @jocord you’re funny…my only other tattoo was a sober one.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    Just passed the midnight mark here. I too join you in not drinking this day.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    The first days are tough but it gets better pretty fast, you just have to not take that first drink.
    Coming here every day was instrumental in my being sober today. So much good advice fom people who have been right where you are now.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    @enzedgirl your reply really makes me want to build a deck when I get home from vacation…

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    You’re closing in on three weeks!

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    Hello and welcome!

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    Hi Maxy, I’m grateful I found this site too, coming here has kept me sober.

  • WakingOwl posted an update 1 week, 4 days ago

    Day 122 Another fabulous day with my sister, yesterday we did several different forest excursions, today we did three different beaches.
    One with a long hike in along a cliff to a secluded rocky cove where you have to keep track of the tide so you don’t get trapped. A second where we went beach combing and each found a sand dollar, and a third where we could see the coastal mountains of Oregon in the distance. We saw several herd of elk – our second beach stop had elk tracks everywhere in the sand. We did a little research and found out they go bathe in the ocean to discourage biting insects. Topped off our day with hot tubbing and star gazing.
    We’ve never spent this kind of time alone as adults, we’ve had long visits but one of us was always working so we only had evenings and maybe a full day or two. We have laughed so much, had truly deep conversations and been moved to tears I don’t know how many times by
    the immense beauty at every turn.
    No niggling voice in the back of my head wondering about my next drink to distract me. No time fretting over whether or not I could get away with ordering a second cocktail. I have been able to be fully present for every moment. As per our plan – we have no solid game plan for tomorrow though I think tattoos may happen.
    AF vacation rocks!

    • Wow, just wow! I love my sister, I love spending time with her! We are 67 & 70, never know how much time one has, so enjoy every minute with your dear sister,xx.

    • Oh my Waking owl. This journey is turning out to be such a beautiful thing. I feel so happy and tearful reading your post. So happy for you.

    • Wow! What an amazing day!

    • Oh what a beautiful joyous post! I’m so happy (and more than a bit envious) for you! What gift for you and your sister. Bless you both. Keep in touch. Love reading about your adventures.

    • Tattoos! Sober tattoos? What are those?😄 Sounds like you are having an awesome, memorable time with your sis. I’m so happy for you!

    • Sounds amazing!! All of it! Congrats on 122!!!! xo

    • How inspiring and beautiful. Thank you for sharing

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 4 days ago

    Congratulations! One month is a huge step!

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    @Buckeyeone Avenue of the Giants is about 3 or 4 hours north of Half Moon Bay…the Drive thru tree park is in Leggett. There are giant redwoods near to the city, Muir Woods and other locations. Purisima Creek Redwoods are right near Half Moon.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    Hello Phantom309!

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    Hello and welcome, a most helpful place to be!

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    Travel safely and have a wonderful time!

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    @heidi19 Thank You!

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    @sober4real We’re in Crescent City, in a few days we move on to Chiloquin.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    Welcome and Hello!

  • WakingOwl changed their profile picture 1 week, 5 days ago

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    With the help of the folks here I made it through my first 100 day challenge and am now 121 days sober.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    Hello and Welcome!

  • WakingOwl posted an update 1 week, 5 days ago

    Day 121 Four months down and dusted and I’m having a marvelous time with my sister. Yesterday we drove north up the coast almost to the Oregon border. The scenery was stunning at every turn, long mountain and ocean views. We cut off the main highway and took the Avenue of the Giants, 32 miles of road flanked by giant redwoods. We also hit some silly tourist attractions.The park where you can drive through a tunnel cut through a 21 foot diameter tree and take your photo with a giant Big Foot carving, Stopped in the parking lot of a theme park where we took pictures in front of huge Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox replicas and grizzly carvings. Our airbnb digs for this leg is gorgeous, a private wing with a private deck, a hot tub and a fire table. Our hostess was kind enough to leave us beer and wine. Maybe the next guests will enjoy them.
    Today we explored more national forest and were lucky enough to see a sizable herd of bull elk grazing as we left our second hiking spot.
    We’ve spent a lot of time in the car and a lot of that goofing but also speaking of serious issues, things we’d like to resolve, steps we need to take. Planned a memorial for our sister who commited suicide 8 years ago who has never been properly commemorated.
    I am so grateful my sister has been able to gift me this vacation, and that I am fully present. We are staying in each location for several days and each day making plans as our mood takes us and it is serving us both well to have no pressure to complete a set of objectives.
    Onward into AF month 5.

    • It’s a beautiful drive isn’t it @wakingowl? I live in Washington and was born in California. My family and I enjoy the scenic drive …..Oregon beaches are lovely if you ever get the chance to come up do it! Congrats on 4 months….what a wonderful gift and you are having fun without it too! I love the Redwoods and have so many photos there. Hooray!

    • Sounds so wonderful,especially doing it with sis,enjoy every moment my dear!

    • I love that you were able to plan a memorial for your sister. Question, as I will be visiting Half Moon Bay, California in a few weeks: Where specifically is the Avenue of Giants and the tunnel with the Big Foot carving. Do you know how far it is from San Francisco?

      • @Buckeyeone Avenue of the Giants is about 3 or 4 hours north of Half Moon Bay…the Drive thru tree park is in Leggett. There are giant redwoods near to the city, Muir Woods and other locations. Purisima Creek Redwoods are right near Half Moon.

    • @wakingowl – your trip sounds fantastic. So happy you are enjoying your sober self. be well.

    • ohhhhh! I’m so jealous! The southern coast of Oregon (just north of California border) is where I lived all last year! I know exactly the places you are speaking about and my eyes have stars in them right now…. I miss the area SOOOOOOOOOO much. Beautiful doesn’t even begin to describe it. What it does to your soul is something that must be experienced! So glad that you got to experience it!

      If you make it into Oregon, let me know how far up you go! Between Brookings and Gold Beach is my total favorite spots!

    • 121 days and more adventures…..oh my!!!!! oxoxoxoxox

  • WakingOwl posted an update 2 weeks ago

    Since it’s past midnight back home I’m saying …Day 119. Heading North tomorrow to Crescent City near the Oregon border for four days. We will make day trips into the surrounding national parks and wilderness reserves before heading for our northernmost point at Crater Lake. The Pacific Coast Highway is crazy and scary, switchback after switchback along enourmous canyons with no guardrails and barely room for two cars to pass in a lot of places. The greenery here is amazing, everything is oversized…ferns that tower over my head, carpets of wildflowers everywhere. It’s like Jurassic Park. Today we went to Point Reyes and walked along huge cliffs over pounding surf. We saw elephant seals lolling on the beach below. We also saw someone surf fishing catch a small shark that they showed us before releasing it. At one of our stops they provide bags to pick up trash on the beach. We each took a bag and competed to see who could pick up the most . When we got back to ranger station they weighed our bags…we picked up nearly ten pounds of mostly small plastic junk and cigarette butts between the two of us. Pretty damn sure I’d have never made a game of something like that all hungover and muzzy headed…let alone volunteered to carry any extra weight on a nearly six mile hike.
    Ate dinner at a local burger joint that offered free extras with your meal…if you purchased an alcoholic drink. So if I buy your highly overpriced $4 soda I get nothing but if I buy a $3.50 bottle of beer I get free fries or a salad. Totally made no sense, and quite frankly with the crazy roads here the thought of anyone drinking and getting behind the wheel is scary.
    Early to bed tonight we have almost seven hours of that crazy highway ahead of us in the morning.
    AF vacationing rocks!

    • Awesome❤️

    • k1W1 replied 2 weeks ago

      Sounds like your having an amazing sober time

    • Sounds beautiful.

    • Ohhh adventure after adventure!! And those roads are no joke….be careful! I remember driving around a national park close to the ocean in Oregon a few years ago….I had to step out of the car and let hubby drive past some areas because there was NO rail, a steep drop-off and two-way traffic when really there was only space for one small car. Insanity! And that in the USA where you think everyone sues everyone for everything and precautions are taken everywhere to avoid getting sued, lol.

      oxoxox

      That nature is worth it though. Nothing like the West of the U.S.

      oxoxoxo

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 2 weeks ago

    @morgan, I saw an Oregon Junco and a Wrentit. Got close to a pelican today…they are huge. The trees are amazing, even the varities we also have on the East Coast are bigger here. Everything is fed by this constant light fog that drifts in and out. Things we only see in florist shops in New England grow in gardens and wild along the roads.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 2 weeks ago

    Happy Anniversary!

  • WakingOwl posted an update 2 weeks ago

    Day 118, morning coffee and yoga on the porch under the redwood trees. Yesterday we went to Muir Woods which was incredible, some of the trees top out at just under 400 feet, a full grown redwood weighs over a million and a half pounds! After exploring the woods we hiked over Mt Tamalpais to Muir Beach – a six mile hike, spent a few hours on the beach then hiked back to our car. For a couple of middle aged women we were pretty damn proud of ourselves. Last night we slept like babies. Today we go to Point Reyes National Seashore and Wildlife refuge. Yesterday I added two new birds to my life list and today I hope to encounter something else new.
    Onward into another AF day!

    • Awesome news! Loving that attitude girlfriend. Xx

    • Lovely! What were the new birds? You have reminded me I am meant to be feeding my bees grated apple in water throughout our winter. Who would have thought?
      I want to see the trees! Hug them 🙂 🙂 🙂

      • A beekeeper says that one’s an internet myth @morgan. The apple ferments so the bees can get sick on it. They don’t need food at this time of year apparently.

      • @morgan, I saw an Oregon Junco and a Wrentit. Got close to a pelican today…they are huge. The trees are amazing, even the varities we also have on the East Coast are bigger here. Everything is fed by this constant light fog that drifts in and out. Things we only see in florist shops in New England grow in gardens and wild along the roads.

    • Ro replied 2 weeks ago

      That sounds amazing. I’m just looking at a map. Wow well what an amazing looking place. You’re having a cool weekend 🙂

    • Ohhh I am living through your adventures….I bet those nature-experiences are mindblowingly beautiful…. Bliss!!!! oxoxox Thanks so much for letting us get a glimpse of your adventure out there!

    • Your itinerary sounds great! Love the redwoods. And yoga on the deck!

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 1 day ago

    Thank you everyone! Muir Woods was exquisite!

  • Day 117 Three thousand miles from home, the airport was a nightmare but my flight was good. With my sister for the first time in four years. We’re just a bit north of San Francisco today. Yesterday we drove over The Golden Gate Bridge! Our airbnb for the first three nights is in a lovely location in a grove of coastal redwoods. The tallest trees I have ever seen and we haven’t gotten to the big trees yet.Going to do my yoga on the porch under those giant trees. Today we go to Muir Woods with bird and wildflower guides in hand.
    So grateful for this chance to see such beauty.

  • Day 116, leaving for Boston in an hour or so for the airport and my California adventure…here’s to an AF vacation. Will sign in when I can.

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    @sober4real imagine the horror stories a thread about accidents would entail…

  • WakingOwl posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    Good for you for rocking ten days…and hey if a cold bath works..it works.

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