Ok – post disappeared so will try again. This is just how my day is going…😞 Help! I truly feel as though I could be rid of alcohol forever. I’m so over it and I love how I feel without it. However, when I get into a social setting all that goes out the window and I end up ordering a drink like I’m on autopilot. Even though I’ve convinced myself I won’t be drinking, the server comes over and I order a drink like I’m having an out of body experience. The drink, of course, turns into multiple drinks and then it’s depression, anxiety and self loathing for the next few days. I won’t drink again for 2 weeks and then the next social event comes up and boom – I’m back to square one. Anyone else struggle with this? Should I just hermit until I’m confident I won’t drink? How will I even know I’m ready when I’ve tricked myself so many times before. Ugh – I can’t believe the power alcohol has over me. It’s nuts! Thanks for listening ❤️
Hi @Victoriajean! I said that so many times, ‘I’m never going to drink alcohol.’ Then I would. It felt like such an ugly cycle, one I thought I couldn’t escape. What helped me (I know this sounds simplistic) is getting used to saying ‘no’. I wrote about in my Sober Story under Jane, published in the blog section of this site. I lived in a beach town in Mexico for a year, and when my husband ordered a beer, I ordered a diet coke. I came back to my country, Canada, and went back to drinking. I think I had to be thoroughly scared that if I kept drinking, bad things would happen. And I had laid the foundation by then to be sober. A site that really helped me was tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com. You can sign up to be Belle’s penpal, and she helps with accountability. And her audios helped to rewire my brain. You can do this, keep checking in. : )
Hi @victoriajean baby steps, one day at a time. I would stay home if you’re finding social events too hard at the start. Build some new routines and lots of self praise and rewards to build up your confidence. You can do this and you will love it😊
Hi @victoriajean! Autopilot is the problem. Get into your head what you will order when the waiter arrives. Ask for tonic and lime or tonic and cranberry. Or say a bottle of Pelligrino. Be bold and don’t answer any odd looks. Just say you’re on meds or have to get up early or your stomach is upset and you’d rather not drink. Practice saying it outloud and in your head. Is it always a social occasion with a waiter? If it is other times, walk in with LaCroix already in your hand. I went to my first at a friends house, walked straight to the frig and put in a couple of waters for me. I poured one into a martini glass and no one bothered me the rest of the night. I was surprised to see a lady walking around clutching a fifth of high-end vodka and flavored water. It’s amazing what you see when you don’t drink at functions!
This is EXACTLY what has been happening to me and how I have been feeling for the last 5 years or so. This time feels different than all the rest and it was pointed out to me this week that it’s probably because I’m trying different and more “sober tools”. I’m listening to sober and sober-curious podcasts, books on people’s experience finally stopping drinking, and now I’m posting on this daily. Keep it up! Take it a day at a time. Check in here when you feel a trigger. Make a plan. Play it forward. You can do it!
Hi all! I’m celebrating day 30 with the Flu! Ugh. I think it’s safe to say that I’ve come off of the pink cloud high but have been feeling pretty good aside from being sick. Just wanted to say thanks for all the inspo here. I’ve been a bit of a lurker lately but reading everyone’s posts on the daily has given me a tremendous amount of support. @redpanda day 31?? Looking forward to the new site. See you all in a few days! 🙂
Hi! @redpanda still here! Yes Day 22! Feel pretty good except my sleep hasn’t been so great lately. Not sure what’s happening with that but I’m going to try Melatonin tonight. I just want to sleep through the night!! How are you feeling??
Aww thanks @victoriajean☺ That makes me happy. ☺ Sometimes I feel like…on this journey …my ” inner child “can emerge…is emerging kinda thing. Its so refreshing!! Cool to think we are all getting the chance to “feel” the joys of feeling like “a kid” again..back when we got excited about life without booze…
Hi @redpanda! Yes two weeks today! Feeling good. I had dinner out last night with hubby and had a great mocktail! I have to say I’m really loving the mocktail options on the menu these days. I have dinner tonight with my close friends who do enjoy martinis but I’m feeling strong and confident. Good for you on the yoga challenge and most importantly on day 15! Look at us go! Have a great weekend and I’ll check in to let you know how my dinner goes tonight. X
@victoriajean let me know how dinner goes! I was invited out but decided to stay in this evening. My kiddo is at a slumber party so too tempting considering I have no responsibility until tomorrow. Hope you had a good evening!
Hi @morgan people are supportive and some have actually agreed with me with regards to just feeling better about not drinking. Although I haven’t had the convo with my biggest challenge – my coworkers. This my sound strange but my office culture is a struggle. So. Much. Booze. I’m gearing up in advance of a scheduled happy hour next week to drop the bomb on the ones I’m closest to. I know that they will be supportive but it’s me that feels so damn awkward about it all. Why do I care? Why do I think they will care? But work social events are my biggest trigger these days so I just need to get it out there. Using Mrs D’ s Press the fast forward button tool is helping me greatly on those days I feel I can moderate. As for the holidays, I’m actually really looking forward to spending them sober. I started sober January last year on December 26th (after a massive Christmas Day hangover – ugh) and it was probably one of the best holidays to date!
@morgan well no profound words of wisdom here as I am only in the early stages but being active on this site has certainly helped. Waking up to messages like yours really start my day off right so I’m really trying to do the same for others. I’m also starting to open up to others close to me about my journey which I think will be the kicker in getting more days under my belt. I’m well aware that the holiday season is around the corner but I’m quite excited to be celebrating sober. I hope you are well and I am grateful for you and for thinking of me. Sweet dreams 🙂
Don’t give up! We are all on this roller coaster together. I know the feeling of defeat when you fall down and are on day 1 for the millionth time. I’ve been there. I’m still here and so are you! Keep fighting! I am here for you. ❤️
Hi @agirl! Nice work on the after work drinks success! It’s my biggest challenges and I have one next Friday that I’m seriously stressing about. What’s your approach? I find I stress about ways I can fake drinking or cancel rather just be confident in my decision not to drink! I end up feeling awkward that I end up slipping for that reason alone. How dumb is that. Why do I make this so much more difficult than it needs to be?! (On day 5 this round). Would appreciate your advice. X
I took @mrsd’s advice- think about what the occasion has to offer (what’s the meaning), the people, the setting. For me it was a celebration that together we have made it through a very rough patch. More rough to come, but we’re still standing. I did think about these things quite carefully and mindfully before going, just so I had a few thoughts up my sleeve to counter any desire to drink. The other thing was visualising the head-down-the-toilet thing. Because that’s the disgusting reality for me eventually. Lucky to make it to the toilet actually. What’s your occasion @victoriajean?