• Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 1 day, 9 hours ago

    Morena @treehugger. December 4th for me. We’ll be camping at Hartwick Pines State Park, easy driving from the Mackinaw Bridge, where there will be the annual bridge walk on September 2nd. So, August 31st we’ll likely go out to dinner to recognize and treat. Love that saying about happiness. AF is great. Take care….

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 1 day, 13 hours ago

    Great post, WakingOwl. So much to sort out, and you’ve got such a positive attitude towards the process. Despite all the hurdles. You give good advice.

  • Tom4500 posted an update 1 day, 13 hours ago

    @tipsytoegal brought it up the yesterday, the line I used to frequently repeat that @sunflowerfield once said. “The morning voice is the voice of truth!” We don’t talk about the voices as much as we did a couple of years ago, when there was more mention of the wine witch, and the five o’clock voice, etc. Those transferring of our addictive brain voices to the third person. And so it was one day, as the discussion went from those B.S. afternoon voices that tell us maybe we’re okay, just one can’t hurt, etc…..pure baloney… to that voice in the morning, that used to tell us we REALLY need to quit, I feel terrible, I feel ashamed…..and now tell us I feel great waking up not hungover, happy that I didn’t do anything awful last night. The evening voice being such lies. The morning voice being so truthful. And that’s when Sunflowerfield answered back Yes! Yes! The morning voice is the voice of Truth! And I loved it, so it became a frequent line of mine, The morning voice is the voice of truth! So that’s the story behind Tipsytoegal’s mention yesterday, and it’s a good story. So I thought I’d bring it up again. Have a great AF day, everyone. Hey, every sober day is a great day!

    • 💜 💜

    • Hi @Tom4500! I really like that, the morning voice being the voice of truth. I now bound out of bed (to get to my coffee) but also b/c it’s so nice to relax in the early morning. : )

    • One of my favorite lines as well @tom4500 – I remember very clearly when that line struck a cord with me. It was after my first relapse in June 2017 and you were very supportive of me and reminded me of the morning voice, it was like a clear ‘ding’ in my brain and made perfect sense to me. Every morning I told myself I needed to quit and every night I was back at it. I knew my morning voice was the voice of truth xoxo

    • Another amazingly fantastic line, “The morning voice is the voice of truth.” Guess I’m gonna need two tatooes! (See my response to @newstart100.)

    • Thanks for the reminder Tom. Love the morning voice!! It never gets old. 😊

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 1 day, 13 hours ago

    Sweet number! And, I get a chance to say hello to @enzedgirl, haven’t done that for a while.

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 1 day, 13 hours ago

    Well of course, drinking wouldn’t solve any of that, and it could start a bad drinking cycle….yuk. Sorry about your bad day. I laughed about your six year old explaining it to her future therapist. We don’t want them telling their future therapist that Mom was drunk all the time. You’ve got to take good care of you, young Moms are so important!

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 1 day, 13 hours ago

    I too have felt much greater appreciation for the little things. I get that ol’ pink cloud kind of feeling about them. One of those things we don’t expect or understand when we first begin this journey.

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 1 day, 13 hours ago

    I think that’s kind of complicated. I don’t miss the drinking, because of all the baggage that comes with it. Once in a while I feel a little left out. It’s not the same thing, but it’s close. I get past it easy enough, because I know that I can’t have alcohol anymore, so I just need to strengthen up and move on. Besides, alcohol is way, way overrated. And of course, for those of us with a disorder, it can ruin or end our lives. I can tell you, it’s been easy for me to not drink for quite a while. It’s my rule number one, never pick up that glass. I’m a little odd that way. I did have some awful sober socializing moments in the first four months; again, not the same thing. I’m at 32 months now. That might sound like a long time to you right now, but it isn’t. The day counter really speeds up after a half year. And there’s a lot of really cool stuff along the way; I never would have imagined that when I first went AF. So think of it as an adventure, and be happy about being AF. One thing about the early months, you think about it all the time. That’s kind of annoying. Oh well. Mrs D wrote a great blog piece in July of 2018, I think, about “Do I Miss Wine?” You should read it, it will help with that “romanticizing”. Good luck. I’m cheering for you.

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 2 days, 13 hours ago

    Just saw this. Sounds like you lost a great guy.

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 2 days, 13 hours ago

    Yep, what’s up, @mari135? Thor popped up today, stop in and send him a note.

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 2 days, 13 hours ago

    It gets better and better, Karin. Cravings are just something to be ignored, dismiss them right away. Remember when a month passed swiftly? For me, by month one, the cravings were noticeably less strong. Keep stringing those days together, you’ll get there. Wishing you strength.

    • Thank you so much!! Means s lot to read your message. Wondering how long it takes before we stop “missing” the drinking? I think a lot of it for me is simply romanticizing the wine culture. I guess it’s just another habit that needs to be changed!

      • I think that’s kind of complicated. I don’t miss the drinking, because of all the baggage that comes with it. Once in a while I feel a little left out. It’s not the same thing, but it’s close. I get past it easy enough, because I know that I can’t have alcohol anymore, so I just need to strengthen up and move on. Besides, alcohol is way, way overrated. And of course, for those of us with a disorder, it can ruin or end our lives. I can tell you, it’s been easy for me to not drink for quite a while. It’s my rule number one, never pick up that glass. I’m a little odd that way. I did have some awful sober socializing moments in the first four months; again, not the same thing. I’m at 32 months now. That might sound like a long time to you right now, but it isn’t. The day counter really speeds up after a half year. And there’s a lot of really cool stuff along the way; I never would have imagined that when I first went AF. So think of it as an adventure, and be happy about being AF. One thing about the early months, you think about it all the time. That’s kind of annoying. Oh well. Mrs D wrote a great blog piece in July of 2018, I think, about “Do I Miss Wine?” You should read it, it will help with that “romanticizing”. Good luck. I’m cheering for you.

      • 32 months that’s amazing! 🙂 thank you so much for your reply it really hit home. Everything you mentioned is so true. But like you said I know I can’t have alcohol anymore either. And so it’s that annoying feeling that’s driving me insane right now. It’s everywhere and all around us. I believe that with time I won’t feel this anymore. This time around feels a little different than in the past. Thanks so much for your encouraging words, it’s given me much needed strength to continue on this journey! 🙂

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 2 days, 13 hours ago

    Very, very nice, Mary; thanks for sharing. Happy for you, and for @hetiheti…..I’ve heard it takes five years to really get solidly grounded. Not sure it applies to all, but you’re there! Really happy for you, and for that lovely family that you describe. Yes, thank goodness we found a way out of that alcoholic mess.

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 2 days, 13 hours ago

    You’re doing great, Bellbird. Those first 11 days are tough. It gets better and better.

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 2 days, 13 hours ago

    It’s a pendulum. And, it provides contrast. How do we know what a good day is, unless we experience a not-so-good? The pink cloud will return. And don’t worry about your hubby, it’s something we signed up for.

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 2 days, 13 hours ago

    Ice cream day. Such a beautiful idea.

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 2 days, 13 hours ago

    I too will be alcohol free with you today, Buckeyeone.

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 2 days, 13 hours ago

    Well wouldja lookit this, it’s Thor! Thought maybe that computer of yours finally said “forget it”…..not really, but I have to poke some fun. Good to see you buddy, glad all is well. That 1,000 number seems kind of special, doesn’t it? I too have been eyeing it for a while. Just 151 days away for you; we remember when 151 days seemed like a huge number, when we were newly sober.

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 2 days, 14 hours ago

    @liberty @newstart @freedom1025 @frog @jr getting back to people’s perceptions about those who have quit drinking, I recall something @daveh once said to me; something to the effect that we wish others, those without an alcohol use disorder, understood better what we are going through, but that they are unlikely to research it, because its our problem, not theirs. It was something to that effect. And given that, if they are unlikely to understand our problem, then we probably should think carefully about the situations in which we want to reveal that problem. Funny, “be careful” seems to be a pretty common suggestion about anything. Something I remember my parents saying; and that, my friends, was a long time ago.

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 3 days, 14 hours ago

    You’re making me smile, Pathfinder. Perhaps a little too wild for me. I have no tatts. Maybe if it didn’t show?

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 3 days, 14 hours ago

    They were correct, at the hospital, about how we forget just how bad we were, and our addictive brain tries to lead us back. I’m not qualified to understand or comment on the fear you describe, the anxiety attacks. I think perhaps you need to have somebody to talk with about that. Welcome here, by the way, we often say that nobody should have to do this alone.

    • Thanks Tom4500! Yeh I was having a bad night last night. It is just PTSD. Much better today. And generally things are fine. The thing that amuses me the most is the rehab team told me two years ago that this would happen to me. It happens to all survivors. They did give me good piece of advice – not to focus on the ‘not drinking’, but to focus on the bigger picture i.e. losing weight, or being healthy, or going on a holiday because of all the money saved from being sober. Good advice I reckon.

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 3 days, 15 hours ago

    Happy for you @leslielily, and it caught my eye right away that you used tears and relieved in the same sentence, because I think that’s just what they are….tears or relief. Relief that we don’t have to drink that stuff anymore, the weight has been removed. And it used to bother me that those around me drank less now, when around me. But I’m okay with it now, I guess it’s natural, and it’s hard to fight human nature. Plus, I sure don’t want to encourage them to drink. Sandy, my wife, never drank much. My boys used to love it when they could get a second drink in her, she would get so silly. But her Dad was a raging alcoholic for a while….I never knew him that way, he quit, and I only knew him as kind and wise. But now, since I’ve stopped, she’s been happy to stop right along with me. She’ll have a Kahlua with her best friend once or twice a year, and a glass of that low alcohol level wine with my DIL once in a blue moon, but that’s pretty much all. But all that about us aside, it sounds to me that you have such an interesting, and loving, and rewarding life…and the challenges that go with it. So I’m really happy for you, that alcohol isn’t dragging that down.

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 4 days, 12 hours ago

    Yes, nice to see you @buckeyeone. Hope all is well.

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 4 days, 12 hours ago

    I had a lot of mornings when I said that same thing, “I must and know I have to stop drinking..”. Then by noon I was feeling pretty good, and thinking maybe I’m not that bad, and by the time the workday was done, it was off to the store if I didn’t have a good supply at home. That went on for years. The morning that I said that’s it, I’m done forever, was a little scary, because I sensed that my lifestyle was taking a drastic change, forever. That’s hard. But it is balanced out by the huge improvements that come with being Alcohol Free. And by the time two weeks had gone by, it was clear that the benefits far outweighed the costs. Get past day two. I think day one is easier than day two…..but that doesn’t matter. Get some sober time in, and protect it. You’re right, you don’t want to be that alcoholic, and from the description you write, you’re well on the way to it, if you aren’t there already. I’m cheering for you, but you have to make the Decision.

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 5 days, 6 hours ago

    Just saw this, @wakingowl. My condolences. I was moved by your tribute to your Mom, may she be at peace.

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 5 days, 6 hours ago

    Kia ora e hoa. As we approach the 1,000 day marker I went looking for you, and found this post. I too have had my difficult moments, not difficult staying sober, but moments where it hurts a little to be the one not drinking. I have nothing against others drinking, but if I imagine the world without other people drinking, then in that world, sobriety seems easier. So alcohol isn’t the only problem. People are. I’m smiling as I type that, because it’s an awful thing to say, really. Seems as though we’ve swapped problems, the old alcohol problem, which was very real, for the new no alcohol problem, which I have trouble describing. It really is as you say, our internal shit head addictive voice. Let’s toast with an AF glass to the next 1,000 days. I’ll check back with you in 12 or 13 days, can never figure out if you’re one or two days ahead of me. And then there is the time zone thing. Peace.

    • Morena @Tom4500 – my counter reads 988 days, so 12 days away from the big 1000. For me this falls on August 30th, my sober anniversary is December 3rd. It’s funny, because purely by chance, at day 500 I was overseas on a family holiday, and doing something awesome, and then again, by chance on my day 1000 I will again be on a family holiday, doing something awesome, and celebrating. Funny how the universe provides reminders to me about what’s truely important, family and living sober life to the full. I actually have a card which by my bed which reads, “Happiness is letting go of what you think life is supposed to look like and celebrating it for everything that it is.” So very true. Arohanui e hoa, not long now!

      • Morena @treehugger. December 4th for me. We’ll be camping at Hartwick Pines State Park, easy driving from the Mackinaw Bridge, where there will be the annual bridge walk on September 2nd. So, August 31st we’ll likely go out to dinner to recognize and treat. Love that saying about happiness. AF is great. Take care….

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 5 days, 13 hours ago

    @freedom1025 that’s why I tend to caution the newly AF now about outing themselves…I did early, and don’t regret it. I felt an urge to do it, to get it over with. I’ve seen that in others, but as you know, there could be ramifications. Hope you & yours are well, my friend.

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 5 days, 13 hours ago

    It was a nice wedding. Amanda’s Mom says that she calls my partner and I her Owosso dads. When you work in a small office for that long, the people there are the people you see most often in your life. Other than Sandy, of course. I think that gets overlooked.

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 5 days, 13 hours ago

    Agreed, JR. Sounds very familiar.

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 5 days, 13 hours ago

    It’s rough, we went through it with my sister 37 years ago, a shorter, five day vigil. One thing I’ll never forget about it, is how much it meant to have others show up in support. It meant so much. Time helps, but the hurt has never completely gone away. I guess we humans live with scars of all sorts. Very sorry for your loss, @soberheart. You’re right, there’s no making sense of it. But I have to think that your presence helped others, a charitable act, given as how it affected you.

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 5 days, 14 hours ago

    @jr @frog its a feeling, or a thought, and I have to smile because if nobody else has felt it, then I think its my first original thought ever. But watch, someone else will say they’ve felt or thought that, too. Usually I get “oh yeah, I know exactly what you mean”.

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 5 days, 14 hours ago

    A feeling that drinkers give those who never drank a pass, while those of us who have stopped, are under gentle to moderate scrutiny. And whether that’s real, or my imagination…..I think it’s real. Do we become a bit of a curiosity? With some, do we trigger their thinking about their own relationship with alcohol? Then there is the alcoholic stigma, which many have risen above, but not all, or not completely. Nice to see you, Frog.

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 5 days, 14 hours ago

    My suggestions are always rather simplistic, and they center on “the decision”. All the other tools, the reasons, the aides, are to help with that decision. So I have two unbreakable rules; first one, never pick up that glass. The second rule; never, ever, break rule number one. There’s about a million other things that happen after that on the sober trail, but if you stick to the two rules, you’ll make it. That aside, welcome back to the wagon!

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 5 days, 14 hours ago

    I know that amazing feeling we feel, when we realize that the events that we used to think we needed to be buzzed for, are actually much better when we aren’t buzzed. Congrats on your important decision, being proud of yourself is the correct feeling. It might seem obvious, but I’ll say it again, that I think young parents are the most important people in the world, and young Moms especially. And those years go by so fast. They say we have to quit drinking for ourselves, and I get what they are saying, but we can include doing it for our families right along with that, in my view. So thanks for your post, made me feel happier.

  • Tom4500 posted an update 5 days, 15 hours ago

    Attended a small wedding yesterday evening, of a young woman who came to work with us about seven years ago. About forty in attendance. We’re a small office, just five of us, so everybody is pretty close. At the reception, we sat with a couple who has work/club/parish connections, and her Mom & Dad lived two doors down from us for twenty years or so. I interesting comment she made, that “my Mom said that Tom always goes for the beers with the highest alcohol content”. As the former Tom went, true that. Used to start with IPA’s. Anyway, we were at the reception for about 5 hours. A good portion of that time was with another couple, who just never drank. Maybe its my imagination, but there seems to be a different perception of those who never drank, compared with those who used to but gave it up. But the bride was perfectly elegant, the groom is a good man, and the evening went very well. Those who drank, kept it under control.

    • Just curious what you mean by different perception?

      • A feeling that drinkers give those who never drank a pass, while those of us who have stopped, are under gentle to moderate scrutiny. And whether that’s real, or my imagination…..I think it’s real. Do we become a bit of a curiosity? With some, do we trigger their thinking about their own relationship with alcohol? Then there is the alcoholic stigma, which many have risen above, but not all, or not completely. Nice to see you, Frog.

    • @tom4500@frog I am curious too. And glad this much better Tom is here than the IPA-drinking past.

      • @jr @frog its a feeling, or a thought, and I have to smile because if nobody else has felt it, then I think its my first original thought ever. But watch, someone else will say they’ve felt or thought that, too. Usually I get “oh yeah, I know exactly what you mean”.

    • Tom, I know of what you speak. 😊 I get this sense that people who never drank are “forgiven” or allowed to exist. But people who drank heavily and are now giving up the booze are viewed as defective. Really twisted, huh?!

      • @freedom1025 that’s why I tend to caution the newly AF now about outing themselves…I did early, and don’t regret it. I felt an urge to do it, to get it over with. I’ve seen that in others, but as you know, there could be ramifications. Hope you & yours are well, my friend.

      • @tom4500 @freedom1025 That is what I thought you meant so thank you for clarifying….and agree, there is a stigma of “what happened to you that you can no longer drink, you must have been BAD” thinking. and I just look at my wisdom and what I have learned is why I dont want to drink. It makes me sad that they don’t see it yet.

    • I agree @tom4500 – It’s funny, it seems to be that people just need to know the reason why others don’t drink and then their make up their perception of that action based on the reason. There are a couple of people in my extended family that never drank because ‘they never liked the feeling’ and then I know of a pair of brothers (that are not in my family but that I see at events from time to time) that never drank because their dad was an alcoholic. It’s funny that if there is someone that isn’t drinking, people seem to ‘need’ to know the reason why and then decide how they feel about it based on the reasoning. Funny that alcohol is the only mind altering substance we have to give a reason for when we don’t imbibe. I can’t imagine someone saying ‘well, so-and-so doesn’t snort coke because it just doesn’t agree with her’ On a different note, the wedding sounds lovely xoxo

      • It was a nice wedding. Amanda’s Mom says that she calls my partner and I her Owosso dads. When you work in a small office for that long, the people there are the people you see most often in your life. Other than Sandy, of course. I think that gets overlooked.

    • Yes I think that scrutiny is there. A person who ‘needed’ to give up must have had A Problem. I’ve seen the mental cogs whirl through this in friends’ eyes when I tell them I or someone we both knew stopped drinking.
      Therefore at any time The Problem might rear its head again. They might slip. How bad was their Problem? What’s the social etiquette? Can they be trusted? Should we keep an eye on them?
      It’s subtle but there. Frustrating and limited. Yup no rush to out ourselves to that kind of thing.
      I love how you describe working relationships. They can be so important. Glad there was some enjoyment at the wedding.

    • @liberty @newstart @freedom1025 @frog @jr getting back to people’s perceptions about those who have quit drinking, I recall something @daveh once said to me; something to the effect that we wish others, those without an alcohol use disorder, understood better what we are going through, but that they are unlikely to research it, because its our problem, not theirs. It was something to that effect. And given that, if they are unlikely to understand our problem, then we probably should think carefully about the situations in which we want to reveal that problem. Funny, “be careful” seems to be a pretty common suggestion about anything. Something I remember my parents saying; and that, my friends, was a long time ago.

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    It is happy music. I like happy lyrics.

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Protein is essential!

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    You know, we just might get there one of these years. I’ve looked at flights, they’re about 22 hours or more. But I think you’re a day younger when you get there? Please don’t tell me its a day older………..

    • Ro replied 1 week ago

      ha hah!! Oh Tom I love you. Yeah long haul flight. I know- come on a ship! Make a real journey of it…..perhaps I’m getting carried away somewhat, I’m currently reading a book where the characters travel from Scotland to North America in the 1700’s, in fact it’s hardly romantic at all, what with the scurvy and hard tack, it sounded really crappy, but hey in this day and age there’s lovely yachts and what not, and big boats. Yeah that’d be the way to go I reckon. Via all the lovely pacific islands. Ugh now I wanna go!

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    @newstart100 looks like a clear sky for our last night tonight; nearly a full moon though. We want to clear out early tomorrow, so I can make my golf match. Part of me says tired, and part of me wants to do it all. 66 isn’t old, but its not young either.

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    You sound good, Lee. We keep fighting the fight. It’s a process, a learning process too. Happy to see you say you’re feeling grounded.

  • Tom4500 posted an update 1 week, 1 day ago

    It’s just by chance that the state park campground that we booked for four nights is just down the road from Caseville, Michigan; and they have a nine day “Cheeseburger Festival” every year. Don’t know why I’ve never heard of it. It’s just a little over a two hour drive from my home. But there is a Jimmy Buffet (most famous song “Wasted Away in Margueritaville”) style “Cheeseburger in Paradise” theme rolling through the campground, complete with flamingos, fake lighted palm trees, parrots, five o’clock somewhere signs, and grass skirted bars with blenders on them. We pull out tomorrow. Sandy and I were surprised at how quiet the campground was last night, after all the hype. Maybe it gets wilder towards the weekend. We went out at about eleven PM last night, looking for a star show, but too many clouds; and there were only a couple of subdues groups sitting around campfires, and a few lone campfire tenders. Wouldn’t you know it, though, we head out camping and end up in the middle of a rummy celebration. Tested again. Ah well, that stuff isn’t for me anymore.

    • Oh wow, who would’ve guessed that there was such thing as a cheeseburger celebration?! Even though it sounds like there was the makings of a possible in your face party scene I’m glad to hear that it was a low key bunch in the campground. Hopefully those clouds will clear for you tonight. I did some star gazing at my recent trip to the cabin and saw a few shooting stars. I hope you get to see some tonight. Keeps us humble and is a great reminder of how big the universe really is xo

      • @newstart100 looks like a clear sky for our last night tonight; nearly a full moon though. We want to clear out early tomorrow, so I can make my golf match. Part of me says tired, and part of me wants to do it all. 66 isn’t old, but its not young either.

    • Omg you guys are so wacky! All of that camp ground description fully cracked me up. Christ any excuse for a piss up eh. We have amazing dark skies here Tom. Plan a trip here. Check out Lake Tekapo 😉

      • You know, we just might get there one of these years. I’ve looked at flights, they’re about 22 hours or more. But I think you’re a day younger when you get there? Please don’t tell me its a day older………..

        • Ro replied 1 week ago

          ha hah!! Oh Tom I love you. Yeah long haul flight. I know- come on a ship! Make a real journey of it…..perhaps I’m getting carried away somewhat, I’m currently reading a book where the characters travel from Scotland to North America in the 1700’s, in fact it’s hardly romantic at all, what with the scurvy and hard tack, it sounded really crappy, but hey in this day and age there’s lovely yachts and what not, and big boats. Yeah that’d be the way to go I reckon. Via all the lovely pacific islands. Ugh now I wanna go!

    • Reading this made me want a cheeseburger, not a drink. Haha!

    • @tom4500 My hubby introduced me to Jimmy Buffett many years ago. I am a big parrothead fan!!! He is not big here in NZ. Funny now how the lyrics of his music relate to fun drinking times and many hangovers. Still love the music tho even if there is a lot of drink references. Hope you don’t end up eating zucchini fettuccine and bulgur wheat.

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    They say we have to quit drinking for ourselves, and I understand that; but quitting for the children at the same time, is surely important. Can’t think of anything more important for teenage girls than a Mom who’s there to help guide them. Those years fly by.

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    I had a friend out at the club, he and I used to get into some fun discussions over several beers. He developed prostate cancer, and the treatments and the illness left him unable to drink. I remember him saying “you guys aren’t as fun as you used to be, when I was drinking”. I think probably we’ve both seen groups getting silly over not much when they’re drinking, and I kind of miss that, but then I’m really just missing the inclusion. And sometimes, it’s kind of hard. Actually makes me wonder if it’s worth it, at times. I’m sure these are common thoughts, because I don’t think I’ve ever had an original thought. But like you’re saying, with the vodka and olives, I can’t control it. And those few moments of fun would be mixed with so many bad moments, not to mention damaged relationships. Have to go, breakfast is ready.

    • I definitely empathize with you @tom4500, I was the closest I have ever been in the last 20 months to taking a drink when I was away at the cabin weekend with my girlfriends. The thought of ‘is it really worth it’ crossed my mind – but then I have evenings like I had last night and I KNOW that it is worth it. I went school clothes shopping with my pre-teen and it was so wonderful. No room for booze in this beautiful life xo

  • Tom4500 posted an update 1 week, 3 days ago

    @janus2 So I started watching the documentary, so I could get you a better response, but I fell asleep.

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    I like it, tgrim. That’s kind of the “rip that band-aid off” approach to letting people know. Just do it all at once. My method was similar. Some people have issues, such as work situations, where secrecy with regard to their alcohol problem prevents them from taking that path, and I’m good with that, too. I sure am glad that you’ve found the new and improved camping trip method, and had a great time. I’m at a campground this very moment, just four nights. A nearby town is having a week-long “Cheeseburger Festival”; a rather alcohol-soaked event. But really, most there aren’t over-doing it. Not like I used to.

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    Welcome Mike. I just read in the feed above, somebody at two days mentioning “firm decision”. I liked that. Glad you’re here.

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    Scary, but exciting too. Welcome!

  • Tom4500 posted an update 1 week, 5 days ago

    Grandaughters here, today only. Love having them here, but sometimes its nice to see taillights at the end of the day. I have to go get the travel trailer out of storage, leaving tomorrow for four nights on Lake Huron. A Dark Sky area near there, and I was excited about that because of the Persoid meteor shower, then realized that our full moon is Thursday. Oh well. Need to cut the lawn before I go, farmers market a few blocks away this morning, Sandy mentioned miniature golf, and the county fair ends today. See, no room for alcohol. Alcohol would get in the way of living life. Happy AF weekend, everybody.

    • What a busy day you have ahead of you today @tom4500! I agree, no room for alcohol in those lovely plans xo

    • Sounds like a nice weekend @tom4500! I was born and half grew up in Michigan. I miss it there! Haven’t been back in ages. We used to go to Lake Huron. I can’t remember what for but i remember the name. Happy AF weekend to u too🌸🌸🌸

    • No room for alcohol in a busy life- I love that!

    • What a wonderful sober life 💕

    • Enjoy Tom. Thought of you and Sandy on our lake trip when we passed the restaurant where we met up for lunch last year. Glad to hear you’re doing well.

    • Always seems to be something to get in the way of a good astronomical moment; fog, daylight, clouds and rain…oh well. Sounds fantastic, enjoy.

    • Yup too much Moon for good meteor watching this year, last year we were clouded over.

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    Well done on getting through day two. I think it’s the toughest day of all. No doubt those evening hours are the toughest.

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    That’s funny. Should I watch that movie? Maybe I have?

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    Yep, and smarter just scratches the surface of all ways we’re better. Sounds like your summer is going well. School start in August or September?

    • Hi @tom4500! Summer is going well but school starts in 3 weeks. I’ll definitely be ready for it. The girls have been wonderful but mom is ready to get her days back! I’m still contemplating my work future. Staying the course for now but am going to be taking some coursework in the fall to keep my high school license up to date. Don’t want to let it lapse so that I can keep my options open. Off to a softball tournament this morning, looks like rain thou. Definitely will be bringing the umbrella xo

  • Tom4500 posted a new activity comment 1 week, 5 days ago

    Happy to read that you’re in such a good place with it, @dorothyparker. Yes, life is so much better sober. I’m betting that your day counter will start to speed up a little now, too. You have some good AF time built up.

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