• tnt8030 posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    @JJR I recall you posting here a while ago. I think we’re a lot alike. I didn’t drink everyday, just on the weekends. But when I started, I couldn’t stop. I’d have a ton of regret on Monday then, by Thursday, was strategizing about how I would sneak drinks over the weekend (and get completely drunk both nights). If you’re posting here you probably know it’s time to stop. I stopped three years ago and everything is the same. I hang out with friends, go out to bars/parties etc. The only difference now is I don’t drink. And I thank myself everyday for finally stopping three years ago.

    I’m happy to help any way I can, just let me know!

  • “Two days in a row. I drank way too much two days in a row. I was pretty drunk both nights and feel like absolute crap right now. I’m tired, my stomach hurts and my mouth is dry and my head hurts. Why do I continue to do this to myself? I so badly just want to stop but can’t.”

    Those are the words I wrote in my drinking journal three years ago today. After writing that journal, I took the dog for a walk with my wife and told her I need to stop drinking. And I did. No, it wasn’t easy at first. I had a panic attack the first week just thinking about the weekend and not drinking. I thought about all the upcoming events for the rest of the year and the holidays and my thoughts were “there is no way I can do this.” I thought about alcohol each and every day for the entire first month. For those new to this journey, I had every thought you now have felt every emotion you’re feeling.

    After the first month I decided to stop thinking about the future, which was the source of all my anxiety. Instead, I forced myself to only focus on the current day, and told myself “I just need to make it through this day without drinking.” I went to weddings and didn’t drink. Holidays, didn’t drink. Bar with friends, didn’t drink. With each passing day it got easier.

    When I first started this journey, I would see big numbers from people and think “there’s no way I can do that.” I was envious, I wanted it to be me. However, my brain tricked me. It said “I’m not the same as those people – They have more willpower – Whatever they did there’s no way I can do the same.” But it was all an illusion put on by my alcohol brain. Again, for those just starting this journey, know that I’m not different from you. I don’t have any special powers, I don’t have more willpower. I struggled and had to live with my thoughts for a long time.

    The best advice I can give is just take it one day at a time. Don’t think about the future. Don’t think about parties, holidays, weddings etc. Just focus o…[Read more]

  • tnt8030 posted a new activity comment 5 months, 1 week ago

    I started drinking NA craft beer a while ago. I always loved beer but was hesitant to try NA as I was concerned it would make me crave real beer. But it hasn’t. I’m able to have a couple (just finished my second one this night) and feel satisfied. They are really doing a good job too. Nice IPAs and stouts that actually taste like beer.

    But make sure you’re ready before giving it a try. I was over two years sober before even considering it. And I’m careful to ensure I never crave the real thing.

  • 1008 days!

  • tnt8030 posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    @MalibuStacey thanks! But, I started just the same as everyone else here 946 days ago. After many failed attempts to stop drinking I just knew deep down I had to stop. I went through the same struggles and thoughts as everyone else but stayed strong. Just know, if I did this, you and anyone can too!

  • Happy sober New Year to everyone! Day 946!

    • Happy new year @tnt8030. Whoa, your number IS remarkable. (I) probably don’t just how remarkable it is…farout, you’re a breath of fresh air.

      • @MalibuStacey thanks! But, I started just the same as everyone else here 946 days ago. After many failed attempts to stop drinking I just knew deep down I had to stop. I went through the same struggles and thoughts as everyone else but stayed strong. Just know, if I did this, you and anyone can too!

    • Wow what an amazing sober day count!

  • tnt8030 posted a new activity comment 9 months, 4 weeks ago

    @kjpeche I kept a drinking journal and this was my post the day I quit. “Two days in a row. I drank way too much two days in a row. I was pretty drunk both nights and feel like absolute crap right now. I’m tired, my stomach hurts and my mouth is dry and my head hurts. Why do I continue to do this to myself? I so badly just want to stop but can’t.”

    I was at the bottom and felt completely hopeless myself. Again, I’m not any stronger than you or anyone else here. You can do this, you just have to believe.

    I also saw your post about one day at a time. For me, it kept me focused on the day only and I have myself permission not to think about or dread the future. Too often we think about future events/drinking and it discourages us. Give yourself permission not to think about the future. Focus on today and today only. Just make it through today without drinking. Wake up tomorrow and repeat.

  • Another sober wedding over the weekend. It was a night wedding with many younger couples and LOTS of drunk people. I cold barely hold conversations with many. One was my neighbor, who was slurring his words early in the evening and I know he continued well after we left.

    I woke suddenly the next morning and quickly realized I was sober and I had nothing to worry about. However, I recalled how it felt when I woke after a night of drinking, and that voice saying “oh no, I did it again,” followed by a day spent recovering.

    I did see my neighbor’s wife the next day and she said he was hurting bad and was spending the day on the couch. I shuddered as I can still clearly remember that feeling, even after 876 sober days. I am so thankful that is no longer me and that I was able to enjoy the day unlike many others at that wedding.

    I’m reading through the messages and all I can say is you CAN do this. I used to envy those who are where I am today when I first quit. My brain would tell me there’s no way I can do that, those people are just stronger than me, and that number is out of reach. But I AM doing it, it’s completely possible. Believe me, I’m no stronger than any of you, and I felt EXACTLY how you feel right now. I just took it one day at a time.

    Don’t think about or worry about the future. Focus on this day only, and tell yourself, “I just need to make it through this day without drinking.” Then wake up tomorrow and repeat. YOU CAN DO THIS!

    • Lovely, inspirational post you legend you!

    • Thanks for the inspiration and being relatable!

    • Thanks for sharing- it brings hope for me x

    • Thank you so much for this post. I am on an awful day one and this post actually made me tear up a bit because I am just so darn hopeless right now. But there is hope and I can do it too!

      • @kjpeche I kept a drinking journal and this was my post the day I quit. “Two days in a row. I drank way too much two days in a row. I was pretty drunk both nights and feel like absolute crap right now. I’m tired, my stomach hurts and my mouth is dry and my head hurts. Why do I continue to do this to myself? I so badly just want to stop but can’t.”

        I was at the bottom and felt completely hopeless myself. Again, I’m not any stronger than you or anyone else here. You can do this, you just have to believe.

        I also saw your post about one day at a time. For me, it kept me focused on the day only and I have myself permission not to think about or dread the future. Too often we think about future events/drinking and it discourages us. Give yourself permission not to think about the future. Focus on today and today only. Just make it through today without drinking. Wake up tomorrow and repeat.

  • Went to my 30 year high school reunion last night then out to a bar afterward. An old friend sat down at our table with a giant beer and was a little drunk. Saw me drinking my Diet Coke and said “No beer? Come on, let me buy you one.” Of course I said, “no need I don’t drink anymore, I’m fine without it.”He then got pretty defensive and started justifying his own drinking to which I said, “hey, it’s ok, I don’t judge people who do drink. It’s just a personal choice I made for myself and I’m happy with it.”

    After 861 days on my journey I think I’ve come full circle. Started with not even being able to comfortably go anywhere without feeling I was missing out unless I was drinking. Then to being ok not drinking but getting very uncomfortable around those who were drunk. Now, nothing bothered me last night. I was completely fine not drinking, never even thought about it for a second. And I wasn’t uncomfortable around drunks, talked to them and actually had some good laughs.

    Of course, the best part is I’m up, alert and feeling great on a Sunday morning while I know others are hurting, bad!

    • You rock! Congrats on 861!

    • 861 days…and that was a full circle experience right there indeed…..Way to go!! And thanks heaps for sharing this with us. oxoxoxo It always makes me want to keep going when people with more sober days stop by to report back that the road is so worth it…..And then I keep going. Have a lovely pain-free Sunday…maybe even a special treat in order such as your favorite breakfast foods….or watching a movie you like later on…. Well done.

    • You’ve set a great example with the way you handled yourself and your old friend. It’s funny how our feelings change over time about being around people who are drinking, some of whom may even be drunk. Glad it went so well. Way to go!

    • Hi there buddy@tnt!! great to see you. So good to know it all comes together. Take care. xx

    • Gosh well done with handling the reunion so well. Those things can be so full of triggers. I’m very impressed with your kind and wise words to your drink friend. And congrats on day 861 wow!

      • it sounds like you’ve accepted that you don’t want to drink at all which is amazing! That’s how it reads anyway like you’re free with that decision rather than fighting it … x that gives me a lot of hope

  • Hi all! Just a quick check-in to say all is great. Tomorrow is my 20-year wedding anniversary and 850 days sober!

  • tnt8030 posted a new activity comment 1 year ago

    It’s absolutely normal. The thoughts, emotions, questioning yourself – all of that is normal. It’s your alcohol brain trying to convince you you need a drink. I promise you, it does get better and easier. I can’t tell you when because it’s different for everyone. The best advice I can give is don’t ever think about the future. Focus everything you have on this day and tell yourself you just need to make it through this day without drinking. Then wake up the next day and repeat.

  • tnt8030 posted an update 1 year ago

    We went out to dinner to a new Mexican restaurant last night with three other couples we have not seen in a while. Everyone orders margaritas and I get a raspberry iced tea. As they get into the second round, one of the wives gives me a puzzled look and asks what I’m drinking. I tell her and she said “Oh, you’re still not drinking?” I said “Yep, almost two and a half years now.” Her mouth dropped wide open and she said in utter disbelief “two and a half years??? I could never do that!”

    Of course, I know much different. Anyone can do this, you just have to believe in yourself, have faith and take it one day at a time. Two and a half years ago I thought the same exact thing about myself – not a chance in the world I could stop drinking. But I did and am able to do EVERYTHING I did in the past and have fun. I had a lot of fun catching up with everyone last night and never felt I was “missing out” on anything because I wasn’t drinking.

    • I love posts like this! What an awesome thing to have worked through it and found peace.

    • Very inspiring post. Thank you! And congrats on 2 and a half years!

    • Love this!!! you are amazing!!

    • Fantastic! 🙂

    • Sounds like you could have parked s car in her wide open mouth @tnt8030 😀

      Great experience. Isn’t it amazing? I wonder what else we could achieve that WE currently think we just couldn’t do?!?!?

    • Woohoo! 2 1/2 years and going strong. Nice post. We were at a restaurant this afternoon and I zeroed in on the raspberry/mango iced tea picture like I used to the Corona pictures. 🙂

    • @tnt8030 Your positivity is contagious!! Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • tnt8030 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 2 months ago

    Thanks, everyone! I appreciate it!

  • tnt8030 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 2 months ago

    Awesome!

  • tnt8030 posted an update 1 year, 2 months ago

    730 days – two full years.

    Two years ago today I posted in my drinking journal. Many of my posts had been positive but this one was different. I was defeated and broken and was about to accept the fact that I would be an alcoholic the rest of my life. After that post, I took the dog for a walk with my wife. On this walk I admitted everything to her. All the drinking, sneaking drinks behind her back, how terrible I really felt even though I played it off. I told her I had to stop. And so, it began.

    That first week was horrible. I thought about alcohol every single day. Later in the week, on a beautiful day while playing basketball with my son, I thought about the weekend and not being able to drink. I had a mini panic attack. I started thinking about everything to come, the summer, parties, boating, holidays…how could I ever do those things without drinking? At that point I decided not to think about the future. Instead I only thought about each day. I simply told myself I had to make it through this day without drinking. I then woke the next day and repeated the process.

    It wasn’t easy. I still thought about alcohol every day for the first month. I was in a terrible mood on weekends because I couldn’t drink. But I still took it one day at a time. As the months passed it became easier. I went to parties, weddings and nights out with friends, all without drinking. Each morning I woke without a hangover I felt a sense of accomplishment. I can tell you, nothing beats waking up on the weekend mornings fresh without a hangover.

    And so it went, one year down and now two. I would love to say that everything is great and wonderful but that would be a lie. Life still gets in the way sometimes and I have bad days. I had a really bad day just a couple weeks ago and drinking did pop into my mind. But I smiled and laughed and I knew I simply could not do it. Funny thing, after that I felt much better because I knew alcohol wouldn’t make anything better…it wou…[Read more]

  • tnt8030‘s profile was updated 1 year, 2 months ago

  • tnt8030 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 2 months ago

    I was EXACTLY like you. All week long, no problem. Worked hard, did the right things and didn’t drink. As soon as Friday afternoon hit I was a totally different person. I binge drank all weekend long. I would sneak drinks, pound beers/take shots when no one was looking and was a mess. I would often make a fool of myself and treated my wife poorly. I spent every Sunday and Monday hungover (and sometimes a little on Tuesday). I swore I would quit but as the week went on my attitude changed and I would repeat the process. I really wanted to quit but was so afraid, how would I ever make it through the weekend without drinking?

    Well, two years ago I admitted everything to my wife and told her I wanted to stop. And I did. Please know you can do this. Yes, it’s scary and your alcohol brain will give you every reason you need to drink. I just stopped thinking about the future and focused on this day. I told myself I just need to make it through this day without drinking. I would then wake the next day and repeat. Again, if I was able to do this, anyone can!

  • tnt8030 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 3 months ago

    @Wvlheel sorry to hear about the issues and sorry I haven’t around much. I really need to do a better job of checking in here more often. In any case, I hope all works out for the best!

  • tnt8030 posted an update 1 year, 3 months ago

    Hi all! I’ve been absent for a while here…life just seems to become very busy when you’re not wasting it being hungover all the time. I’m approaching 2 years, day 711 today. Still can’t grasp that sometimes…it just amazes me. 2 years ago I was scared to death at the thought of never drinking again. These days I rarely ever think about drinking.

    To those new here please take it from me, you can do this. I felt exactly as you did but just took it (and still take it) one day at a time.

  • tnt8030 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 6 months ago

    @enzedgirl thanks, and I know you’re right there with me!

  • tnt8030 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 6 months ago

    @SteveF welcome and congrats on 15 days! Know that you can do this! Take it one day at a time. Don’t worry about, fret or even think about the future. Just focus on today, and get through this day without drinking. Then wake up tomorrow and repeat.

  • tnt8030 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 6 months ago

    @Wvlheel funny story and good to hear all is well!

  • tnt8030 posted an update 1 year, 6 months ago

    One of those “Facebook memories” popped up today. I video taped my dog from inside the house running in a foot of snow with another dog while all the neighbors were outside enjoying the day off. And why wasn’t I outside with everyone?? I still remember…I was too hungover. The night before, knowing it was going to be a snow day, I drank and drank and drank. The hangover stopped me from enjoying a simple pleasure the next day. So happy those days are long gone! Day 604!

  • tnt8030 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 7 months ago

    @enzedgirl Happy New Year to you!

  • tnt8030 posted an update 1 year, 7 months ago

    Not doing anything this New Year’s Eve, just going to sit home with the wife while our son has some friends over. Happy New Year to everyone! Day 581.

  • tnt8030 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 7 months ago

    Congrats on day 37 and Happy New Year!

  • tnt8030 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 8 months ago

    @Treehugger that’s awesome, congrats!

  • tnt8030 posted an update 1 year, 8 months ago

    Day 551.

    When I first started this journey, I would see members post numbers like this and think to myself “there is no way I can do that…” It was so far away, and alcohol consumed my every thought. I still remember the morning of day 5, which was a Friday. I thought about alcohol THE ENTIRE day. I even had a mini panic attack at the thought of never drinking again. At that point, I decided to take it one day at a time. The best thing I ever did was NOT to think about the future. I always focused (and still do) on today only. I tell myself, “You just need to get through today without drinking.” I then wake up the next day and do the same thing.

    Time does work wonders. I rarely ever have cravings. I’m able to go to parties, bars/restaurants and social events and not drink. And I always have an enjoyable time, something I never imagined possible without alcohol. Time opened my eyes and, when I was drinking, I realized these events were never about the event itself or the people…it was just an easy excuse to drink and drink to excess. I missed out on so much of my life because of alcohol.

    People ask me all the time if I miss it. I can truly now say no, I don’t miss it. My life is so much better now without alcohol. Waking up early in the morning without that dreaded hangover is the best feeling ever.

    I actually did a calculation once. Between drinking and not remembering my night to the terrible hangovers that put me out of commission for a day or two I was wasting 1/3 of my life every year to alcohol. I now have my life back. And it’s wonderful!

    Please, to those just starting this journey, know that you can do this. Everything you are feeling right now I did as well! But it’s absolutely possible. If I did this, you can too!

    • @tnt8030 ~ thank you so much for sharing this. It’s so hard, for us that are still drinking, to imagine a life w/out alcohol. I often hear, from sober ppl, that their life is so much better and they don’t miss drinking. Like you, in the beginning, it seems like we’ll never get to the long-term sobriety (or even short-term). It’s an awful feeling to feel doomed before even trying. Huge congrats on D551!! That’s awesome.

    • Thank you, great message – I have saved this to look back on!

    • You are so right. I’m mourning the part of my life I wasted on alcohol! So sad! Saved your post as well!

    • Thank you ! This is so encouraging. I’ve been lurking but am now on day 2 and wondering how I’m going to do Christmas and New Years. I’m not going to worry right now-just get through today!

    • Well said and even more importantly WELL DONE!

      You’ve changed your life.

      Outstanding!

    • This is heartening! I needed to read this (this morning…still in the a.m. over here.) I’m really hoping I can put alcohol behind me like you’ve done, and like I did with cigarettes. I tried many times to quit smoking before I finally did it ten years ago. But during the period of failed attempts I actually believed that I would have to sacrifice a big degree of happiness in my life without the cigarettes. I believed that no celebration could be truly rewarding if I didn’t smoke a cigarette. I was completely wrong. I’ve totally moved on from that addiction. I never dream about cigarettes. I never want one. Not a trace of desire left for that. I’m hoping to one day feel the same about drinking. Your post gives me hope. Thank you.

      • Hi, yes I had the same experience after many times of really disliking intensely the hold that tobacco had on me, finally dropping the habit. Now, with seeing how it can affect people after doing it for years, I have no desire to do it and feel so grateful to be free of it.
        Would love to get to that place with alcohol, without having to go through seeing others suffer. xx

    • @tnt8030 – wow, this morning I am just reading post after post of awesome stuff. I remember feeling the same way we I joined this site, I think I must have been around a week in when I joined. Thank you so much for your post. Tomorrow will be my day 365 – one year 🙂

    • What a fabulous and inspiring post @tnt8030 🙂 Huge congratulations on day 551… awesome! 🙂

  • tnt8030 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 8 months ago

    @davenajean yes, happy to see you back! Always here to help! You did this before and I know you can do it again!

  • tnt8030 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 9 months ago

    Welcome!

  • tnt8030 posted an update 1 year, 9 months ago

    After 3 long months football has finally ended. Unfortunately for us and the kids it ended with a loss in the semi-finals of our county championship. It was tough for us and the kids because it was an evenly matched game and they scored on their final drive taking the lead and leaving only 0:03 on the clock. Funny thing is though, after 526 days of sobriety not once did it even cross my mind that I wanted or needed to drink. IN the past this would have been a great excuse to have a “few” drinks, although I could make an excuse out of anything to drink.

    And that’s the key, time has a way of changing your thoughts and your brain. Two years ago I was proud of myself for “only” having three drinks on Halloween (only to get blind drunk both weekend nights that same week). This Halloween I drank water while watching other adults pound drinks at our neighborhood party. And when my wife suggested we leave at 9:00 pm I was all for it. Not once did I feel I was missing out on anything nor did I crave a drink. And, waking the next morning hangover free is the best thing in the world!

    Again, for those new here are to those struggling I always say if I can do this, you can too!

    • Waking hangoverver free IS the best thing in the world @tnt8030. It never gets old! My sons team is marching on in the playoffs and I’m secretly hoping they lose this weekend. The temps are starting to get frigid and sitting out at those cold games with the wind blowing right through you is torture. I’m a terrible mom. 🙂

  • @wvlheel Goya Jamaican style ginger beer. Wow! If you can find it, get some!

  • tnt8030 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 10 months ago

    I just posted as well. Congrats to you!

  • Day 500! So much has changed and I wish I had time to post more but I’m rushing out the door. I’ll have a longer follow-up soon.

  • tnt8030 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 11 months ago

    @wvlheel yep, I’m in Maryland. I have one son playing JV high school football and I coach my younger son’s 12U team. And yes, I’m also an avid fan, watching the Ravens (my team) right now! I’ve read your updates as well, good to hear all is well!

  • tnt8030 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 11 months ago

    Welcome!

  • Hi all! Just another check-in. My life gets so busy during football season I barely have time to think! In any case, day 475 today! Hope everyone is doing well!

  • tnt8030 posted a new activity comment 1 year, 11 months ago

    @hummingbird congrats! I’m right there with you!

  • tnt8030‘s profile was updated 1 year, 11 months ago

  • Hi All! Just a quick check-in – football has started and I’m on the go just about every day! But staying the course, day 451!

  • tnt8030 posted a new activity comment 2 years ago

    This brought tears to my eyes…I offer my sincerest condolences to her family.

  • tnt8030 posted a new activity comment 2 years ago

    @enzedgirl all is well, day 435 for me!

  • tnt8030 posted a new activity comment 2 years ago

    Awesome job!

  • tnt8030 posted a new activity comment 2 years ago

    @Spookflower sorry to hear that, breakups really do suck no matter what the circumstances. In this journey it’s important to remember life goes on, and sometimes things are really bad. It doesn’t matter if someone just started the road to sobriety or if they have been sober for a long time…life still happens, and bad things happen to all of us. The key is learning how to handle these tough times without alcohol, some other way to cope. Whether it’s eating a ton of crap food or taking long walks to think about everything-whatever works for you. Because, as we all know, alcohol is never the answer.

  • tnt8030 posted a new activity comment 2 years ago

    @davenajean so good to see you back!!!

  • tnt8030 posted a new activity comment 2 years ago

    Visiting a client there. Looking forward to it, looks like a nice town!

  • tnt8030 posted a new activity comment 2 years ago

    @lilipalla good to see you back! We talked a few times here over a year ago. I’m now over 400 days. I don’t say that to brag, I say it for encouragement, because there is no way I ever thought I could do this but I am. And if I am, you can too!

    • thank for the encouragement! And fantastic that you are over 400 days! Totally wonderful.

  • tnt8030 posted a new activity comment 2 years ago

    @Wvlheel I’ve been meaning to ask if you are near Carolina Beach? I’ll be there on Monday next week.

    • Unfortunately I’m about 2.5 hrs away from there or I’d pop over for a ginger beer with you! My son goes to college in Wilmington which is quite close to that beach…..wonder why he chose that college? (Ahem…bikinis…ahem)

      What brings you down here @tnt8030? Vacation? You picked a good part of the world for it, but October is better.

      I’m in winterville nc.

      • Visiting a client there. Looking forward to it, looks like a nice town!

  • tnt8030 posted a new activity comment 2 years, 1 month ago

    @sobermommy1013 congrats on day 9! I’m on the east coast as well in MD.

  • tnt8030 posted a new activity comment 2 years, 1 month ago

    Congrats, keep it going!

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