• TipsyToeGal posted an update 4 days, 13 hours ago

    Ok, I’m putting my emotions on the back burner and putting on my “wise mind” (and newly growing paralegal) hat on in this ongoing saga with Oregon narc man.

    So… I got to thinking… one of the reasons his complaints are being taken so seriously initially (by the court and now this investigator) is because Oregon has put as one of its top priorities elderly abuse. The State Attorney in Portland has made it his personal mission to crack down on it.


    On the flipside of that, they will also NOT AT ALL look favorably on anyone who ABUSES the elderly abuse act. Which narc man is doing. He’s already pissed off 2 of the 3 judges within the court system there. And with each of these incidences where he attempts to accuse/charge me to some public agency, the documentation I provide as overwhelming evidence not only against his claims but showing just the opposite (ie HIS abuse of ME), I am gaining more confidence in the fact that, I have nothing to fear! In fact, with each attempt he makes, he only exposes himself more and more….ie…he is hanging himself, all by himself with his own words/threats etc that he wrote to me.

    In addition, I discovered today that he has been on various facebook support pages that I belong to (narc/emotional abuse support fb pages) and using my FIRST AND LAST name, is claiming I abused him and that I am a narcissist. I cannot see him as I have him blocked but a friend of mine (local) who is also on these pages (she also has experienced narc abuse and is the one who told me about the pages) saw him posting about me. She sent me screenshots.

    He is so over the line in violating the restraining order I have on him, however…. I think a smarter thing to do is this:

    Per my attorney, I am going to be forwarding a packet of documentation evidence (emails, financial records (to show it was HE that was taking advantage of ME financially , not the other way around) and now screen shots of his “cyber harassment” )and sending this all to the investigator with DHS elderly protective services guy along with a note about how I take elderly abuse act very seriously as I work in the field myself and point out the fact that this man is taking advantage of this law with his false accusations. And let nature take its course. He is destroying his own reputation with every agency he contacts….and its going to backfire on him, maybe even in the form of losing services for himself! Sending him to jail will just feed his “victim” stance…. this way, it isn’t “coming from me” but rather from his own words backfiring on him.

    So I will send the packet, and get on with my life and let God take care of the rest. <3

    • Good on you, you have some wonderful insights there

    • Yes go you! You have absolutely nothing to fear and he is totally shooting himself in the foot!
      Stay strong lovely xxx

    • I can hardly believe the incredible energy he is putting into damaging you after you’ve moved out of state and have no contact! It’s just ridiculous and mind-boggling. What benefit is this to him? I’d report him to the admins of those pages to have them block him and also report him to Fb.

    • @jocord. I actually did that today! He’s been going balls to the wall on these pages for 48 hours now. VERY angry posts. I pm’ed the moderator and asked if she would remove the ones with my name in them (understanding I can’t stop him completely). I told them I had a restraining order on him and he isn’t supposed to be harassing me on social media.

      They not only deleted the posts, they BANNED HIM! I truly didn’t expect that they would! Being believed and being supported NEVER gets old! It made me cry.

      He isn’t going to give up I think, until I HAVE to contact the judge to have him arrested. He’s angry as hell that he cannot get me to respond to him. That I’ve been No Contact since last January and that I am the one who left him and that every time he tries to take me down, it backfires on him. These things, to a narcissist is THE HUGEST affront to them. So he can’t stop until he “gets me.” I knew this back then, and he’s proving it now, 7 friggin months later……..

      But with each incident, it is STRENGTHENING ME. All the guilt and shame he instilled in me trying to make me think “I” was the one who was to blame for everything… well that is quickly going away and the confidence that I am NOT at fault is growing big time.

      But, I have to stay on my toes as he isn’t gonna stop. I know this. This is why I DO NOT WANT HIM TO KNOW WHERE I AM. I am glad he thinks I am still in Oregon.

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