• TipsyToeGal posted an update 1 week, 5 days ago

    Court hearing done. It was delayed at first and then once we got going… took 1 1/2 hours. He put on QUITE a show….

    I won.

    I didn’t have to say a single word. Between having a good lawyer and him totally hanging himself by his own testimony, it was quite the surreal show. He totally and completely showed his true colors. Complete with banging his hand on the table, being rude to my atty and the judge and then… the end when my atty asked him “I thought we were here today because you said you were afraid of Ms. Fisher.” And then he said “we are here today because she must REPENT for what she’s done. She is sick and needs help.”

    Lawyer said “I think that’s all we have judge.” And judge said “I have definitely heard enough.” Then she chastised him for his behavior, told him that it was a serious thing he did filing a false restraining order and that she had heard enough from him (when he tried to protest yet again). She readmonished him to completely have NO contact with me ever again.

    I’m still reeling… he went on for over an hour with his circus show….my atty made sure to get a bunch of what he wrote in the emails spoken outloud verbally for the transcript (reading them and then asking him “is this what you said and do you agree.” (things like calling me satan and an unrepentant “b” and that I must die to myself and all kinds of other wild crazy things. He proudly said YES! She must learn a lesson!

    I mean, it was surreal….how much he sunk his own ship……..

    Lawyer also got on record that he confirmed he “contacted the IRS” to “report me” as well. Lawyer said that could be a criminal offense if he did (harassment).

    Narc man isn’t done yet.. he said he’s filing “criminal charges” against me now…. not sure what for… all I ever did that started this whole shitshow was say “please stop” to him when he was overly touching/stroking me while I was making dinner. 🥴

    His 16 hours of silence, then explosive rage and subsequent constant emotional putdowns for 5 days after that until I finally left him is what he sees as my “crime.”

    So glad that is over!

    • Oh…. and I get a bit of a mini-vacation out of this. It is confirmed now that travel to Denver and Mpls is not going to happen Wed-Thur due to the massive snowstorm so my airline changed my flight to Fri for free. Then the resort I’m staying at also extended my stay by 2 days for free AND upgraded me to a suite. And then all I had to pay for was the 2 day car rental extention.

      It is sunny and 62 degrees and I have a big balcony next to the ocean on my suite and 2 whole days to now rest, relax, release and reflect.

      I am so utterly and completely humbled by …….how loved, supported and taken care of that I feel… by people and by God.

      And…. I did not drink a drop through all of this.

      • Wow @tipsytoegal you are inspirational, to have gone through all that and come out the other side is amazing. Well done you!!!!!! Enjoy your much deserved rest time xx

      • So happy for you! See, justice does win, at least it did here. Yay!!!

      • @tipsytoegal I am one of the many lurkers on this site. Most nights around 11pm I settle down in my home amongst the hills of Wales and check in to see how you are all doing. I take strength, guidance and hope from you all but give nothing in return. ( I know this is ok with you guys ) Well this evening I would like you to know that the news of your victory and surprise mini break has made my day! Even though we are strangers and in more ways than one many miles apart I still find myself often wondering how your day is going. Your strength, courage and determination are admirable and inspiring. Thank you and everyone else for sharing your innermost feelings with us, I know this lurker wouldn’t have got this far without you, I’m also on day 132 AF. ( 5 mins to day 133)

        • @sundem Your post touched me so much. 💓 I thought of your response a lot last night as I was watching the sun go down. And I don’t even know what to say now. I’m so glad my sharing has helped you and that you are well on your way in your AF journey. Thank you so much for posting this. <3

      • Wow, I am so proud of you for getting through this sober, you are an absolute legend!
        Enjoy your mini vacation, so so well deserved!
        Big hugs lovely ❤❤❤

      • Wonderful. Such good news. I hope the sunshine and ocean dissolves the memory and the craziness xxxx

    • YAY!! x

    • Oh my. It’s done. Best.Possible.Outcome.
      Just so huge. So relieved and delighted for you @tipsytoegal. Well done. Enjoy that mini-vacay…xxx

    • Wow! What an outcome. You couldn’t have scripted it any better. You deserve it. 😊

    • oxxxoxox You will come out of this stronger and he will not file a complaint. That’s how narcs go down, loud and with empty threats. I hope you can fly home in peace now and please do not be out and about tonight or until you fly where he could find you just to be extra safe.


      I can’t wait for a few months down the road when your life is back to normal and this is starting to become a memory. Badass judge calling him out on his BS. High five to that!

      • xoxo. Thank you @Mari135 I don’t think he will either. He’s shot his reputation now in this town. And I do think he is literally a “narc going down”. I’ve read up on how they can decompensate when they lose total control over a situation and seeing him yesterday in that state (he’s also lost a lot of weight…thin and gaunt) was shocking but telling. Definitely going to keep my head down though till I go. Glad the judge was a woman too. :). Regular judge (a male) was out sick for the day.

    • WOW!!! the miracles of sobriety. You have gone through so much, you deserve this.

    • Oh wow @tipsytoegal I see this freak has caused so much grief for you and I’m so sorry it’s been so rough for you lately. I have to say though, that you are nearly out the other side, still sane and stronger than ever. You should be so proud of yourself. I am in awe of your strength lady xx

    • The judge was a woman? Sweet! Bet that busted berserk man’s balls : )

      • @yeswecan Yea, I thought of that afterwards. The regular judge (a male) who put the restraining orders in place (both ex-man’s and mine) was out that day. So she was filling in. I’m glad. 🙂

    • i’m glad you didn’t have to speak. what a relief it must be for you.

      very happy for you x

    • Woohoo!!
      But OMG, what a performance – it’s hard to believe he was so completely unselfaware that he shot himself so effectively in both feet, isn’t it. But thank goodness he did.
      And I’m glad you’re getting the little vacation out of it too.
      Hurray, it’s over xx

      • @Clowance. Yea, that blew me away. I think he didn’t expect I would ever leave him first (vs him “discarding” me which is classic narcissist behavior) and he can’t figure that out so his only defense was to try and make me look like the crazy one.

        • He thought he’d got a passive little victim, not a brave and strong woman – misjudged the situation badly, didn’t he xx

    • Ha. And he thought that would come across as credible and sane. Says it all really. Well done you strong, in control, resilient and intelligent person.

    • So does this tell you one thing? … dont internet/church date… so dangerous.. chemistry happens 1 to 1. Not Ips to ips. Lay down your dating tools @tipsytoegal stay in real world. Save you all your un needed angst.

    • So happy for you ♡

    • @TipsyToeGal I came on here today especially to see how you are. Such a relief he showed his true colors and you can hopefully put this all behind you now. Sending lots of love your way x x

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