• TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 2 hours, 58 minutes ago

    @morgan You make a good point. I think I am a bit “hypersensitive” to negative/toxic behavior right now and I certainly don’t want to put up a boundary/wall bigger than it needs to be. I think until he and I truly have our lives fully separated from each other, there will be these snag moments. He seems to already be “over it” himself (which…[Read more]

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 3 hours ago

    WOW! @truthangel I loved your reply. Speaking words I totally understand and relate to. I wrote you a long reply to your post you made on this subject today but the system erased it! I was really impressed with your boldness, clarity, articulation and honesty about where you are at. I’m there too. I’m done with toxic. And like you, I may…[Read more]

    • Oh thank you @tTipsyToeGal. Lovely to hear from you. Its quite a biggie of a challenge isn’t it? Sorry to hear you are in that place too. I wouldn’t wish it on the devil himself. There are just days where its so painful that I get quite anxious about losing it and crashing down to a low place that is longer term. I work with people with mental…[Read more]

  • TipsyToeGal posted an update 2 days, 3 hours ago

    Day 174

    Spring cleaning. I’ve been in full swing with this. Both with things in my life….. and people.

    In particular, my mom. After her incredibly exploitative and cruel treatment of me about a month ago when I was already in a low place, I emailed her to set some boundaries. One, that we would no longer talk of bible things together and…[Read more]

    • Amen to that. I’ve posted after yours here. So I really get you. I have nothing to do with my mother and haven’t for 3 years now. She will not respect boundaries. So out she goes with all the other toxic rubbish. I won’t be seeing an inheritance from her. Better to live with integrity though. She has managed to get through to the extended family…[Read more]

      • WOW! @truthangel I loved your reply. Speaking words I totally understand and relate to. I wrote you a long reply to your post you made on this subject today but the system erased it! I was really impressed with your boldness, clarity, articulation and honesty about where you are at. I’m there too. I’m done with toxic. And like you, I may…[Read more]

        • Oh thank you @tTipsyToeGal. Lovely to hear from you. Its quite a biggie of a challenge isn’t it? Sorry to hear you are in that place too. I wouldn’t wish it on the devil himself. There are just days where its so painful that I get quite anxious about losing it and crashing down to a low place that is longer term. I work with people with mental…[Read more]

    • morgan replied 2 days ago

      Keep those boundaries in place!!!! Great work. And maybe try to minimise ex husband’s behaviour as simply childish and immature – keep it very small in your mind as you are getting on so well and have to see each other. Try a little exasperated smile, and be friendly when he does give a time – like “thanks so much, really appreciate” etc minimal…[Read more]

      • @morgan You make a good point. I think I am a bit “hypersensitive” to negative/toxic behavior right now and I certainly don’t want to put up a boundary/wall bigger than it needs to be. I think until he and I truly have our lives fully separated from each other, there will be these snag moments. He seems to already be “over it” himself (which…[Read more]

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 2 days, 15 hours ago

    Ohhhh that feeling of the potency of the past becoming….less potent! YES! I know what you mean. The power of the pain gets smaller…and our strength to move forward into new unknowns gets bigger. That inner critic….is more like a buzzy annoying mosquito….and when those from our past want to come into our present with their toxic…[Read more]

  • TipsyToeGal posted an update 6 days, 5 hours ago

    Day 170.

    Wow. What a difference a week makes.

    I have been working my new job all week. I do homecare for elderly or disabled folks. And I absolutely LOVE it. It is healing me in ways I did not expect. I have had some major epiphanies while talking to these wonderful clients I’ve met.

    I love helping people. I love bringing ease to their…[Read more]

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    You sound like a whole new person!

    • Tewy replied 1 week ago

      Yay @Bobby …..I love seeing your posts that your still AF …..huge respect and well done you …..keep at it girl 😊😊

  • TipsyToeGal posted an update 1 week, 1 day ago

    Day 167

    Started my new job today. Homecare work with social services in the county I am in. I had 3 clients today. I shadowed one of my supervisors. My daughter and I will be working together 2 days a week at the same homes. Feels good to finally be getting to it….but there were also triggers as well. I’ve pretty much stopped talking to…[Read more]

    • Awesome work❤️🌻

    • Hi @Tipsy it’s lovely to see you settling back into your mainstream life again. You are very resilient. Spring is such a lovely season in so many ways, such a time of renewal and growth. I predict that you will be fully healed before the end of spring and you will be stong and happy and exicted about all that is ahead of you xoxo

    • Many good things – so lovely to read this. I am happy for you. XXX

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    Me too. for about 24 hours. I thought ex-narc man had gotten into my account and changed my password! Scared the crap out of me. I hadn’t thought of changing the password here when I left him. But I have changed it now!

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    I posted under that post to say that I had trouble all day today getting in. This site always logs me out automatically like every other day or so, so I have to log back in each time I want to post. My login information is always “preloaded” in the login boxes and so i just hit “login” and I’m in. But today that did not happen. So I manually…[Read more]

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    Yes… last night and all day today. I finally just now used a link from an older email notification and managed to get in that way.

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 week, 2 days ago

    Happy birthday sweet lady. Yes, narc mothers really start a child’s life off well, don’t they….. (-_-) I think if it hadn’t been for this experience I went through in Oregon, I would not still have understood this about her. I had already (mostly) gotten to the point of just not “needing” her anymore or having contact…but now, I realize it…[Read more]

  • TipsyToeGal posted an update 1 week, 6 days ago

    OMG! I just received the audio transcript of my court hearing against ex-narc man from April 9th. I contested a spurious restraining order he retaliated against me with. He did so in way that could affect my current employment. (claimed I abused a disabled elderly person). I listened to it just now with fresh and clear ears and wow!! I not…[Read more]

    • Wow, wow @Tipsytoegal! What you have been through! And yes, what vindication! I’m glad you’re standing strong. Hugs.

    • oxoxoxoxox I am so glad it all ended up being the outcome you hoped for.
      My guess is this is the end. He will do his thing in Oregon far far away and you’ll never have to deal with this insanity ever again.

      You got out alive and well.
      Thank fuck.

      oxoxoxox

  • TipsyToeGal posted an update 2 weeks ago

    Day 162
    Coldish, and windy-ish again today but supposed to warm up later. Still going to take the opportunity with the cooler temps to get some more inhouse rearranging done. I’m (to put it not so brashly) “making my mark” in each room of my house to make it feel like “mine” vs it being “the house I used to be married and raising my girls in.”…[Read more]

    • Jesss replied 2 weeks ago

      That is really awesome about becoming a paralegal @tipsytoegal! Im really glad things are settling down for u. And u know, meeting that crazy freak kinda inspired this out of u. So maybe it was a blessing in disguise looking back. Although painful and difficult no doubt. Life is crazy!🌼

    • So much happening that’s good 🙂 xxx

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 2 weeks ago

    That’s a hella lot of money to pay just for the right to live! Yea, isn’t it crazy this world we live in? So glad you are having a good time and able to have quality time with your friends. Safe travels home!

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 1 day ago

    @kitten lol. nope, not a typo. And that’s down from 23 as she just lost two in the last few months. She lives on an isolated 5 acre hobby farm in Iowa and her only companionship is those dogs. I’m the only human she really ever “reaches out” to (other than those she might see when getting groceries from time to time). Dogs (currently, mostly…[Read more]

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 2 days ago

    I just put up my hummingbird feeder yesterday and am hoping to see their return soon too! They’ve come back to the same spot for the last 7 years so I’m sure I’ll see them!

    Slogging, flying, or fighting tooth and nail….whatever gets us down that path to an AF life, is definitely worth it! Congrats on 92 days!

  • TipsyToeGal posted an update 2 weeks, 2 days ago

    Day 160

    I spent a beautiful weekend finishing the cleanup in my garden. I have a 24 X 24 garden full of raised bed boxes and in the walk ways between them I had laid down pea gravel.. Over the 7 years since I’ve had my garden though, those walk ways have become a pain in the boo-tox to keep weed free, so I am now laying down patio stones to…[Read more]

    • There IS strength in vulnerability!

    • Big congrats to you @tipsytoegal – I see and feel the growth in all of your strong, take control words and i love that you are back in your town doing your things, so …. 21 dogs, what is that story? or was it a typo.

      • @kitten lol. nope, not a typo. And that’s down from 23 as she just lost two in the last few months. She lives on an isolated 5 acre hobby farm in Iowa and her only companionship is those dogs. I’m the only human she really ever “reaches out” to (other than those she might see when getting groceries from time to time). Dogs (currently, mostly…[Read more]

    • And you make it a blessed evening for me reading all this progress and wisdom amidst the beauty and hard work of you garden.
      I do feel upset reading about your mother, but then filled with hope that someone so beautiful can come from such abuse and narcissism – like @mari135 – there is hope! As I am about to begin work with a whole new lot of…[Read more]

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 6 days ago

    Welcome! You’ve found a VERY amazing place to start your journey!

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 6 days ago

    And you show by example how it is done. That is the legacy we leave, not just for ourselves but for others. What a journey this is!! Congrats!

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 6 days ago

    I love shakespeare. We actually had an english teacher in high school get it made mandatory that all students must take (her) shakespeare class to graduate. It was amazing seeing so many kids, who would have NEVER taken such a class before, become enamored with the stories! She made us read them outloud, taking turns etc. I LOVED that class…[Read more]

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