• Day 2

    Thank you everyone for your kind responses and supportive comments. I am definitely not leaving the train, just decided to try and run along side it in my own power for a bit and fell behind. πŸ™‚

    I’ve been at this long enough that I know how to get back on and stay on and that’s what I’m doing. The event where I had the “one glass of wine” 2 weeks ago was one of those art and wine class things. I went with a friend of mine. I had not painted in like 2 years and as I was doing that painting, I totally went rogue. haha! I did not follow the “script” of what they were all painting, I went off on my own and got totally lost in the “zone” that I so love and miss when I do art.

    So even though the wine witch got reawoken in me from that night,…… so did the art angel. 💓

    I am making a change to my ‘routine” in the evenings where I usually just peruse the internet or read articles or netflix binge, and instead, will be spending time in my now, fully reorganized art room. (had that done about a month ago but haven’t been in there since). I want to paint again, and draw, and all the stuff in between that I usually “save for the winter months” but then, rarely get around to then either! Right now it is very hot out and humid. So I don’t wanna be out there anyway.

    This will get me through these remaining weeks until school starts.

    So that’s my plan and I’m a’stickin to it. πŸ™‚

  • Day 1.

    πŸ™

    That glass of wine you had 2 weeks ago in public with a friend….. that you thought meant nothing. It does.

    I am so stupid sometimes. I had awoken the beast again….

    And this past 3 days I listened to it. Drinking something I actually never had before! Vodka. I saw someone post something on fb last week talking about cranberry juice and vodka with lime bubbly water. And it stuck in my head. I even had a bit of blacking out last night…. with my daughters here (26 and 21). I “looked” awake and functional according to them, but my memories of the night are mostly not there. Even my brother coming over and having me sign an important document related to my father’s estate. He told me a lot of things about it but I don’t remember most of it. I just signed it. I don’t even have a raging hangover to punish myself with. Just thirsty and craving carbs. Sigh.

    I do not consider this a slip. It is a fall. So day count is reset. I am so ashamed. 223 days gone. Plus almost 9 months before that…..I know they’re not really “gone” but man I want to make that one year mark!!! I’ve been at this since 2016 for petes sake!

    The initial trigger was obviously that “innocent 1 glass of wine” 2 weeks ago. But also the stress of the investigation involving crazy-narc man in Oregon and also being diagnosed with fibromyalgia. Also, yesterday was the 1 year anniversary of when I went out to Oregon…… Triggers. Not excuses. I know.

    I don’t feel I’ve been trying to “cover up” the pain.. man, I’ve cried more tears and felt more feelings in this past year than I ever have! I think I just feel really alone. I’m not used to this. Plus even though its been 7 months, the experiences I had in Oregon still haunt me. I’ve used up my quota of “talking about it” to others so I just keep quiet now and journal. I don’t have insurance so I can’t go to a counselor, but I do think I need to. I feel like I got really clear there for awhile…[Read more]

    • A mental or confidence reset perhaps but don’t underestimate the good you have done for your body and soul in that 223 days. That is still there, it is still a huge accomplishment.

    • Yes, I agree with CascadeClimber, you have done really well, and can continue to. It’s okay. Go easy on yourself. xo

    • Hi @tipsytoegal.. I feel for you I really do, this has happened to me lots of times. Thinking one glass will be ok and the same here back to blackouts every night. You know you can do this and you will. xx Don’t feel bad (hard I know).. Don’t give up, in a few days you mind set will be switched back on xxx

    • Ohhh, do I understand this! The main thing I’ve learned is that it is really fing hard to get back up. However! If you stick with it now it will be easier, so stay here with us. And you can change things today by not drinking! That way you can have this beast in chains by the time you start school, instead of getting going at sobriety AND school.
      Take good care of yourself; tell yourself the nicest things today, and rest up. xo

    • Glad you hopped right back in with us @tipsytoegal. ❤️ Xo

    • Sorry for the fall @tipsytoegal but its just another bump in the road. You know how to do this. As someone on here once told me, throw your whole sober toolbox at it. You’ll be racking up those AF days quickly. You got this!

    • Ah vodka, my wicked old ‘friend’. It’s like silent brain surgery.
      No no no no no. @tipsytoegal, it was not your fault. When we invite someone into our lives and they turn out to behave like a monster, the monster bit is not our doing. The invitation was just an invitation to care and be cared for. Not an invitation to this. The hole at his centre was not your doing. You could never have fixed it and you didn’t put it there. Recognising his pain does not make it your fault or your responsibility.
      You are not responsible for his behaviour.
      Alcohol will only confuse that issue more btw, but you know that.
      I don’t understand how the system works in the US. It’s not possible to see a counsellor without insurance; to just pay for the session? That seems obstructive.
      Anyway. 223 days are not gone. You’ve got some morse code going on is all. Lot of dashes (AF times) and a few dots. If you’ve been doing this since 2016 then you know you can do it again.
      Watch out for the afternoon crash. Take extra good care of yourself today, rest when you can, hydrate. xxx

    • Try to go easy on yourself. You’ve been through a LOT with your divorce, your father passing and the whackadoodle in Oregon. Get right back on the wagon with us. Plenty of room. xoxo

    • morgan replied 1 day ago

      That bloody addiction… it lurks there, I guess forever. I have had ‘thoughts’ lately – “oh, I’m fine, never blacked out or anything like that ffs – be normal, you were fine, have a glass” etc etc But I know it is no way to live and before long, one slow glass would turn into a fast first, then two more, then, who knows? I was scared, that is what I need to remember. Scared of all those evenings I meant to resist, and somehow didn’t…

    • So glad you’re back @tipsytoegal. I will just share something that has helped me and will be called on again this week “don’t stumble over something behind you” You have done the hard yards, leave the past behind if it is not serving you well today. Be proud of your achievements and know that you are loved and respected here. ❤️

    • Not gone – not at all. Think of alllll those sober days. They are still there regardless of this blip. I’m not familiar with your story as I’m fairly new, but hoping you are able to find peace of mind.

    • addiction sucks, @tipsytoegal. glad you got right back to it. look forward to your posts.

    • You are a strong girl, and I know you will make it.

    • Big hugs to you lovely, you are here and you are trying and that is all you can ask for. You are amazingly strong and have been through so much this past year and you are still here surviving, so massive hugs and love coming your way from me xxx
      Be easy and gentle on yourself, you can do this, i dont doubt it ❤❤❤

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 day, 6 hours ago

    @morgan thank you for the shout out. Timely. I’m putting up a new post now.

  • Day 222.

    Triple twins. haha!

    I am enjoying the peace and quiet of no current pending drama from nutball in Oregon. SO glad this last round/investigation is over! It is a much bigger relief than I anticipated it would be. And sure is good since I don’t need any added stress in my life now that I have fibromyalgia!
    I am taking this time to educate myself on it as well as put together a new system/lifestyle to deal with it. I believe in all natural whenever possible. So I have added some supplements that were suggested as well as taking epsom salt baths. OMG do those EVER work wonders!!!
    I seem to be mostly over my latest flare (except can still feel it in lower arms and hands) but I have also been doing a lot of outside work the past 2 days. (weed pulling, hauling firewood that was outside, into a space in my garage). But those baths just really do the trick!

    I’m only 52. I’m too young to “sit down” now…..(as my grandma would say). I am going to find a way to balance this new challenge in my life the best way I can.
    I’ve been through so much, I’m not about to let some aches and pains knock me down now!

    • Yes @epsom baths are little miracles . I like your attitude . I am 55 and bike to work nowadays , 34 km . Yes mam . Haha . Day 222 and wow . We know what all those added days mean . Beautiful , very happy for you . Your positive spirit is inspiring . xx

    • Congrats on 222 @tipsytoegal! Happy to hear you are peaceful and taking care of yourself.

    • Congrats on those triple twos! Yay you!!

    • Oh bother and damn, health wise, but great news about crazy man.
      I live with a friend who has fibro and see the struggle she has when it flares up. Drives her to drink 🙄, well, to more drink. Really tough to go through such pain especially if an active person.
      I have seen so many improve hugely or be symptom free on the ketogenic diet-might be worth a try as great for so many hormonal issues as well.
      So good the worst stress of the maniac gone though. Now to really enjoy what is ahead xxxx

    • Yes, I was diagnosed many years ago with fibro and was also pissed and depressed at first. I didn’t want a chronic disease! I learned my triggers and took Lyrica. I stopped Lyrica right away as I didn’t think it helped and it also caused my hands and feet to swell right away. I discovered that if I did 30-40 minutes of yoga everyday my symptoms went away. It really was the only thing aside from swimming that really helped. Sending good vibes your way!

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    CONGRATS!!! Wow! And this was one awesome post!

  • In the midst of finding out I may have fibromyalgia, I forgot to post some GOOD news. The investigator from DHS adult protective services who ex-narc man filed a “report” on me to, and who I’ve been waiting for two WEEKS to call me and let me know his findings after I sent him a bunch of documentation, finally called me.

    He was very kind and his whole rude demeanor from the first time he called me (out of the blue) had changed. He told me that based on the info I gave him he could definitely see there was no case there and was dismissing the whole investigation. In ADDITION, he told me that if this ex-narc man continued to (he used the word, “bother me” instead of harassment so as to not give legal terms to it) to let him know as he and this man’s case worker would help in whatever way they could from their side. I was gobsmacked!

    Once again, just like in court last April with the judge, I was not ONLY believed, but supported, by the very people this crazy man was using to try and hurt me more. And now, he’s exposed himself to the very folks who are his “bread and butter” since he is on disability and needs their services!

    Anyway, HUGE stresser off the table now and I sincerely hope he is DONE hounding me!! Now to focus on me and my health and keep moving forward!

    • What a relief!! Good news! I’m sorry about the fibromyalgia, but now you can rest easier. Xo

    • Great news! All this affirmation adds up. This ex-narc guy is just digging himself deeper and deeper. Hopefully getting this stress off your head will help you physically. There’s no way you could carry all that crap around without feeling the weight of it. Happy day for you! Sometimes things have a way of coming back to bite in the butt. Glad he’s getting his.

    • Truth comes out right @TipsyToeGal?! So nice to hear your good news. Prayer for the potential fibromyalgia not materializing… Yay for focusing on health and moving forward! πŸ™‚

    • That is good to hear. I bet they are angry too, it takes away valuable resources from investigating valid abuse cases. One of my biggest pet peeves. I wish they would charge those that make false reports and make a big case of it,.to.deter those that indulge in this sort of thing. They could start with him!

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    WOW @Mac007 Thank you for that thorough reply! I relate to much of what you wrote for sure!

    My drinking became heavy around 2010 or so, when husband and I decided to divorce, but stay living together (long story). And. couple other changes were going on at that time too. In 2012, we decided to remarry, but apparently, he had been seeing someone while we were divorced and although he told me it was over…it wasn’t. He kept with her well into the first year of our marriage. I found out. We went to counseling, stayed together. He did end it with her then. But those last 7 years were rocky and I drank heavily.
    2016 I made my first very weak attempts to quit as I had one daughter getting married and the other graduating high school. After those events, drinking went back up.

    Oct. 2017, I found this website and started a firm plan to quit drinking.

    2 months later, Dec. 2017, I found out he was cheating again so I kicked him out. I stayed sober during this time miraculously.
    Feb 2018, my father became very ill and for several months we weren’t sure he would live. But he did. Until he suddenly died from an infection last Oct. 2018.

    June 2018 husband and I divorced again but are still amicable.

    I moved to Oregon in Aug. 2018 to get away for awhile and also because I had some friends, including what I thought was a good Christian man who lived there. We had been communicating heavily after I separated from husband (yes…. it turned into a rebound situation).
    Very long and complicated story short, he ended up literally being a narcissist/sociopath putting me through the worst hell I have ever experienced in my life. I escaped him Dec. 2019 and have been fighting him in court and his stalking/harassing me ever since.

    So yea, no shortage of stress in my life for sure! Not surprised this finally flared like this. Looking back I can see where I had much smaller symptoms of this for about the last 4 years or so, individual areas on my…[Read more]

    • Holy Heck @TipsyToeGal you have had enough stress in your life of recent, no wonder your body is saying enough is enough, and now it is time for you. For you to look after you! I am 56 and around your age when things got really bad for me. Earlier on in my life I suppose I knew I was stressing over things because my body would react as it absorbed stress . Even when I had to move school and towns (which I absolutely hated) at the age of 14. I missed out on a huge hunk of my school Certificate year because of really bad headaches…which harmed my education hugely.Looking back I now know that I dulled the stress with drink from that age on and maybe moving schools was the start of my decline into the world of drink to cope! You sound like you are on to it and are on the right direction. When we stop drinking we have to learn and get to know our own sober self again or in some cases get to know who we really are as we never really gave ourselves the chance in the beginning. Finding good tools like , good gut food, your swimming and being aware of what is going on with in you are the start to greater things. please keep me posted how you are going . All the best

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    Thank you ladies!! 💜

  • Welp, another gift I’ve been given from all the stress of this past 2 years, especially this last year with narc-hole man…..

    I’ve got fibromyalgia…..

    Honestly, I’ve never thought of it being a “real thing” before. Mostly out of ignorance….and because I’ve been so healthy all my life I could not relate to “chronic pain” with “unknown cause.”

    Well, I know the cause and I now understand chronic pain. I’ve been ignoring it mostly in this past 6 months…thinking I was just working out too hard at the club or in my garden…but it has gotten progressively worse, especially this past 2 months. This past week has been horrible. I walk like an old lady, even just to get standing up takes effort… so tired all the time…. Chronic tingling and numbness in lower arms and hands, headaches, “foggy brain”, Stiffness but it is more in the muscle tissue than in the joints. Shooting pains in feet. And the apparently one tell-tale sign is very specific pairs of tender spots (18 of them) across the upper and lower body. I have all 18 of them.

    Anybody familiar with this and have any tips? I’m just starting my research on treatment/management of symptoms now. I do not want to take any pills though. Would prefer to treat naturally.

    • our lovely @mac007 can relate to this. She wrote about it in her Sober Story a while ago too https://livingsober.org.nz/sober-story-michelle-3/

    • Hi @TipsyToeGal and @Mrs-D πŸ™‚ …..yes I can relate to this and I will reply to you as soon as I can in more depth. Heading off to work now but I will get right back here today some time. I know where you are coming from , it is horrid and frustrating. However, I can tell you more about my experience shortly and I can say there has been a huge positive outcome for me ! Hang in there. see you soon πŸ™‚

    • Thank you ladies!! 💜

    • Hi TipsyToeGal,
      This is a brief outline how it was for me and what happened over time. I can’t say it will help you or not but when you are experiencing terrible pain you seek any help you can. Fibro can affect different people so differently however what you are saying that is happening to you is how I was for a number of years. All of your symptoms , I had as well!
      I gave up booze 4.8 years ago and around that time I started to feel really sore. I was refer to the rheumatologist where she treated me for arthritis for while and after trying 3 different meds that made me sick, she looked at the possibility of it being Fibro. I then was put on Gabapentin after finding other drugs weren’t enough. In the meantime I was feeling ripped off that I got this bloody problem after I was trying to be healthier and kinder to myself for giving up the drink. It sucked!!
      Now here is the turning point, around 3 years on I’d had enough and questioned if it could be something else. (I was always in denial that it was Fibro.) I was told by my specialist she couldn’t help me anymore apart from referring me to a pain management team! I was over the drugs and decided to wean myself of the gabapentin (which now they have warned people about using!!!) I knew stress was a huge trigger but it’s like a vicious circle cause of course you will feel stress because you feel so dam shit all the time.
      I had asked all the doctors I had seen over the time could it be menopause?? They said no, you wouldn’t be in so much pain!!
      So this is what I ended up doing: Please note that this helped me and I’m not saying it is the answer for you.
      I ditched the drugs they gave me ie: Gabapentin
      I started vegan diet for a year…. that has changed a bit to date as my partner and I live apart together and my partner is a master in the kitchen. I do however still eat more plant base foods, cutting diary out when possible (when I first stop drinking I was eating a load of icecream and always loved…[Read more]

      • WOW @Mac007 Thank you for that thorough reply! I relate to much of what you wrote for sure!

        My drinking became heavy around 2010 or so, when husband and I decided to divorce, but stay living together (long story). And. couple other changes were going on at that time too. In 2012, we decided to remarry, but apparently, he had been seeing someone while we were divorced and although he told me it was over…it wasn’t. He kept with her well into the first year of our marriage. I found out. We went to counseling, stayed together. He did end it with her then. But those last 7 years were rocky and I drank heavily.
        2016 I made my first very weak attempts to quit as I had one daughter getting married and the other graduating high school. After those events, drinking went back up.

        Oct. 2017, I found this website and started a firm plan to quit drinking.

        2 months later, Dec. 2017, I found out he was cheating again so I kicked him out. I stayed sober during this time miraculously.
        Feb 2018, my father became very ill and for several months we weren’t sure he would live. But he did. Until he suddenly died from an infection last Oct. 2018.

        June 2018 husband and I divorced again but are still amicable.

        I moved to Oregon in Aug. 2018 to get away for awhile and also because I had some friends, including what I thought was a good Christian man who lived there. We had been communicating heavily after I separated from husband (yes…. it turned into a rebound situation).
        Very long and complicated story short, he ended up literally being a narcissist/sociopath putting me through the worst hell I have ever experienced in my life. I escaped him Dec. 2019 and have been fighting him in court and his stalking/harassing me ever since.

        So yea, no shortage of stress in my life for sure! Not surprised this finally flared like this. Looking back I can see where I had much smaller symptoms of this for about the last 4 years or so, individual areas on my…[Read more]

        • Holy Heck @TipsyToeGal you have had enough stress in your life of recent, no wonder your body is saying enough is enough, and now it is time for you. For you to look after you! I am 56 and around your age when things got really bad for me. Earlier on in my life I suppose I knew I was stressing over things because my body would react as it absorbed stress . Even when I had to move school and towns (which I absolutely hated) at the age of 14. I missed out on a huge hunk of my school Certificate year because of really bad headaches…which harmed my education hugely.Looking back I now know that I dulled the stress with drink from that age on and maybe moving schools was the start of my decline into the world of drink to cope! You sound like you are on to it and are on the right direction. When we stop drinking we have to learn and get to know our own sober self again or in some cases get to know who we really are as we never really gave ourselves the chance in the beginning. Finding good tools like , good gut food, your swimming and being aware of what is going on with in you are the start to greater things. please keep me posted how you are going . All the best

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    Oh what an awesome, peacefilled post. I feel better just from reading it. Thank you!

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    💓

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    @JM No, in fact his sibling (brother) is also harassing me (he was my car insurance person while I was out there). I definitely don’t have any allies in his family camp. I have them all blocked. I never knew them that well anyway because narc-man has very little contact with them himself.

    I do have a very good friend there that lives right next door. He called her “HIS” friend and that I “poisoned her mind” against him. She tells me she never even SAW him come out of his house hardly before I came along. They would say “hi” once in awhile in passing but that was it.
    For the most part, I keep our relationship just about us and try to leave the narc man topic out of it but she knows what happened and was a witness for me in court.

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    @robynb thank you for the book recommendation. I will most definitely check it out.

    And no, no more booze. I’ve come too far with that! 💜

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 2 weeks, 3 days ago

    @saoirse @mrs-d @JM @Liberty

    I have been no contact the whole time. He doesn’t know that I know he is on those fb pages but because he is posting my first and last name, friends I have in those groups are private messaging me letting me know. And then I message admin who then shuts him down. I don’t think he realizes it is me doing that.

    As for the DHS thing, I HAVE to address that as that is my employer. It affects my employment. So I can’t ignore it. And their investigation will determine if they advise him to file criminal charges on me (which is bogus and will not happen but still I have to go through the process). The investigator is not an easy person to reach and this has dragged on for 2 weeks now. He is SUPPOSED to call me today so I’m just sitting here waiting.

    Atty told me that once this investigator gives me the all clear (which he believes he will) THEN we will file a motion with the court for contempt of court on my restraining order and have him arrested. Because the RO specifically states he is not to harass my employment. But I can’t do anything till my employer clears me!

    My friend who lives next door to him is also going to go in and file an RO on him in the meantime for harassing her.
    That will add to my evidence when I go back to court with my atty.

    The porn stuff.. I just gotta change my phone number.

    It is BECAUSE he can’t get me to respond to him directly that he keeps this up. Typical narcissistic response……but so so ugly.

    For the most part, I am dealing with this alone because most people don’t understand this level of abuse. They think it is just a “bad breakup” and I should just be “over it.” by now. AND TRUST ME I WANT TO BE…but he just won’t leave me alone. I have one friend who is willing to let me talk/vent whenever. She is the best.

    @liberty You nailed it… it IS messing with my head because he is TOTALLY playing the role of victim and stating that it is “I” that is the…[Read more]

  • Not doing well. Ex crazy narc man from Oregon still coming at me from all fronts. I’m never going to be rid of this maniac. He knows where I am now too, I think. Helps me sleep good at night.. NOT. Especially since he has enlisted his brother to help harass me. He’s also harassed his neighbor (2 of them are my friends). I have a call with someone today who may be able to help put this guy away. Lawyer is involved again at this point too. More money out the door. He knows how to stay “just under the radar” enough though that I can’t call him 100% on his sh*t. Blowing up my phone with porn text websites (in the process of getting my phone number changed). Stalking me on the abuse support fb pages I am on (got him shut down on 2 of them, working on 2 more). Still working with investigator with DHS who crazy man “reported” me to to get all that mess settled. I am juggling about 6-7 balls he’s flinging my way just to try and stay on top of them and knock them down. While trying to MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE…. (((((tears…..))))))))

    I. Am. So. Tired. Of. This. It’s been 7 months almost. I don’t know how much more I can take.

    And yes, I have had alcohol in the last 2 weeks. πŸ™ πŸ™

    I probably shouldn’t post this here, but I have never wished someone as much ill as I have this person. I feel like the only way I will be free of him is if he dies (no.. NOT by my hand……I’m not capable of that… but just… SOMETHING……).

    I feel so weak today. πŸ™

    • Oh @tipsytoegal so sorry to hear about all your trauma. Do you have any friends you could stay with for a while? Not sure whether just not responding in any way to his threats or allegations would slow him down, being ignored would burst his bubble big time, think he is feeding on the fact that you are racing around trying to shut him down.
      I think you need to get back to you, your plans, your needs and wants and try focus your energy on them. He is taking all of that at the moment and you need that back, that is your power. Do something for you today, something that will lift your spirits, easier said than done when you’re in a funk I know, but you need to get back into the habit of you time every day.
      Thinking of you and wishing you something nice today.❤️

    • what a fucking loser dickhead. Can’t stand that you are getting on with your fabulous life. So sorry this is happening but surely he’ll fade away soon.. please ! Big hugs x

    • Hi @tipsytoegal! This is awful and scary and I’m so sorry. How could this guy learn to back off? Are you friendly w a trusted friend or sibling of his? Big hug to you pls keep us updated. Xo

      • @JM No, in fact his sibling (brother) is also harassing me (he was my car insurance person while I was out there). I definitely don’t have any allies in his family camp. I have them all blocked. I never knew them that well anyway because narc-man has very little contact with them himself.

        I do have a very good friend there that lives right next door. He called her “HIS” friend and that I “poisoned her mind” against him. She tells me she never even SAW him come out of his house hardly before I came along. They would say “hi” once in awhile in passing but that was it.
        For the most part, I keep our relationship just about us and try to leave the narc man topic out of it but she knows what happened and was a witness for me in court.

    • Yup for someone like that any attention is a relationship and tells them they matter, even if the attention is hate and rage. Indifference is absolutely annihilating. Ultimately indifference is where you want to be, no matter what he tries, but what a lot of energy to get there. And when the threat is/feels real that’s a big ask.
      He is a recent small feature in your life trying his best to be bigger.
      It’s extremely difficult to be on the receiving end of and I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. Don’t worry about what you post. Unfortunately this is the kind of transformation no-one wants to go through but it’s happening.
      Remember what keeps you feeling like you and make a point of doing it and being around people who help you do it @tipsytoegal, and be as kind to yourself as you can. You are bigger than him/what he’s doing/what he’s trying to make you be, and there is much, much more to your life than him. It’s not your fault this is happening. I know if it was me that’s where I’d be vulnerable; is how it would mess with my head. xxx

    • @saoirse @mrs-d @JM @Liberty

      I have been no contact the whole time. He doesn’t know that I know he is on those fb pages but because he is posting my first and last name, friends I have in those groups are private messaging me letting me know. And then I message admin who then shuts him down. I don’t think he realizes it is me doing that.

      As for the DHS thing, I HAVE to address that as that is my employer. It affects my employment. So I can’t ignore it. And their investigation will determine if they advise him to file criminal charges on me (which is bogus and will not happen but still I have to go through the process). The investigator is not an easy person to reach and this has dragged on for 2 weeks now. He is SUPPOSED to call me today so I’m just sitting here waiting.

      Atty told me that once this investigator gives me the all clear (which he believes he will) THEN we will file a motion with the court for contempt of court on my restraining order and have him arrested. Because the RO specifically states he is not to harass my employment. But I can’t do anything till my employer clears me!

      My friend who lives next door to him is also going to go in and file an RO on him in the meantime for harassing her.
      That will add to my evidence when I go back to court with my atty.

      The porn stuff.. I just gotta change my phone number.

      It is BECAUSE he can’t get me to respond to him directly that he keeps this up. Typical narcissistic response……but so so ugly.

      For the most part, I am dealing with this alone because most people don’t understand this level of abuse. They think it is just a “bad breakup” and I should just be “over it.” by now. AND TRUST ME I WANT TO BE…but he just won’t leave me alone. I have one friend who is willing to let me talk/vent whenever. She is the best.

      @liberty You nailed it… it IS messing with my head because he is TOTALLY playing the role of victim and stating that it is “I” that is the…[Read more]

    • So sorry. I want to recommend the Gift of Fear. Not to scare you but he gives an excellent example of dealing with people such as this. And comes from his own childhood of dealing with his mother, who had a personality disorder. The guy has been security for some famous folks, he knows his stuff. Knowledge is power. I don’t need to tell you this, but booze makes us week. We are more likely to react, and this is the last thing you want to do. You are an awesome, amazing woman with so much going for you. Don’t let this sabotage you.💚💚💚.

    • It is not your fault.
      He is clearly a stalker and very fucked up.
      There is no way you could have seen this coming and you did NOT cause this.

      My abusive ex stalked me everywhere as well for a while but gave up eventually when he had another victim. Sadly. But “good” for me. I second what robynb said. My therapist recommended “The Gift of Fear” when I left him and it contains very valuable information.

      Above all, listen to your gut.
      In case of doubt, stay extra safe.
      Always.

      And please know you’e not alone. There are so many people dealing with similar scenarios right now, many still trapped in their relationships. You got out. Moved far away. Thank God he has trouble walking and is at the other end of the country.
      In DV we differentiate between “snakes” and “bulldogs” perpetrators. He sounds like the bulldog kind. Loud and angry but it’s mostly air and psychological. Snakes are the ones to watch out for as they are much more capable of physical harm that can be dangerous.

      I promise you this won’t go on forever. It sucks it is still going on.
      oxxoxo
      A year from now we will read a post from you where you write “It’s been months without any issues regarding this narc”.

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 4 days ago

    I feel the same as @juliana. it is weird how june/July/Aug. mean winter to some people who live on the same round ball called earth that I do! 80’s here today and full sun. Potent air with flowers and everything is so green!

    Of course, even winter down under, would be considered mild for me. Our winters here get brutal cold and so much snow! I don’t like it one bit.

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 4 days ago

    If you click on the bell it will bring you to a page that shows replies or comments to you.

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 4 days ago

    This is definitely the place to tell them! We tooooootally get it. I have a friend where I had similar experiences. That “first time” there sober, I do also remember clearly. So does she (we both drank more than our share and have both quit). Life is much better this way!

  • Day 202

    What an up and down day. The UP first. I cleaned out the sink of a client that had dried crud and a dead mouse in it, cleaned spotless her bathroom that was littered with her “#2 accident” of 2 days prior and washed her bedding and clothes that were also affected. Cleaned out her fridge that had a 1% milk carton that was “poofed out” from being so overspoiled. I did not even open it, just tossed it right in the bin. Her house was fresh smelling and clean when I left and she was so grateful. She has multiple medical ailments and they were not treating her kindly this week so she was a bit embarrassed by the state of things when I came. It’s ok. That’s what I’m there for. This is why this was an UP experience. Went to my 2nd client afterwards who most claim is the “hardest one” to deal with but she and I have had such a delightful time! Her giggles, so much like how my gramma giggled. She got a little nervous when I told her I was going to school in the fall. I reassured her it was at night and I would still be there for her! She was so relieved. :).

    The other big UP is I had an orientation meeting at the college I will be attending in the fall for my paralegal program. Our advisor was running it and she gave so much information…. basically confirmed what I had been feeling about the positive passion I feel for wanting to do this work… OMG I cannot even TELL you all how excited I am to start! SO many different ways I can use that certificate once I get it by the end of next year. And this school is right beside you every step of the way, including the internship. Lawyers flock to the school looking for new graduates. Pay is more than I’ve ever made. I just need to “walk through it” to get there….BEYOND EXCITED!!!

    On the sorta up, I’ve been putting together a huge packet of information for the investigator with DHS who ex-narc-psycho-stalker nutter man from Oregon reported me to for “adult/elderly abuse.”…[Read more]

    • So much going on! In the end, the Narcissistic man will be but a minor footnote. You are to good, too busy, and too much for someone like that to take down.

    • The way you are dealing/coping with this psycho is inspirational. He sounds absolutely awful. Keep safe x

    • Hi @tipsytoegal so excited for you with your study program. You are super strong, and this guy is nothing. Go you, awesome lady❤️

    • Bloody hell what persistence – but not as much as you have.
      It is wonderful you can bring such relief and joy to your struggling clients. I am so glad they have you. ‼️‼️Xxxx😇😇😇❤️❤️❤️❤️🌻💐💐🌸🌺

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 4 weeks, 1 day ago

    @jocord. I actually did that today! He’s been going balls to the wall on these pages for 48 hours now. VERY angry posts. I pm’ed the moderator and asked if she would remove the ones with my name in them (understanding I can’t stop him completely). I told them I had a restraining order on him and he isn’t supposed to be harassing me on social media.

    They not only deleted the posts, they BANNED HIM! I truly didn’t expect that they would! Being believed and being supported NEVER gets old! It made me cry.

    He isn’t going to give up I think, until I HAVE to contact the judge to have him arrested. He’s angry as hell that he cannot get me to respond to him. That I’ve been No Contact since last January and that I am the one who left him and that every time he tries to take me down, it backfires on him. These things, to a narcissist is THE HUGEST affront to them. So he can’t stop until he “gets me.” I knew this back then, and he’s proving it now, 7 friggin months later……..

    But with each incident, it is STRENGTHENING ME. All the guilt and shame he instilled in me trying to make me think “I” was the one who was to blame for everything… well that is quickly going away and the confidence that I am NOT at fault is growing big time.

    But, I have to stay on my toes as he isn’t gonna stop. I know this. This is why I DO NOT WANT HIM TO KNOW WHERE I AM. I am glad he thinks I am still in Oregon.

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    WOOOOWWWW. Powerful post! Go you. You are well on your way and as you know, you are on a site that will support you 100% of the way!

  • TipsyToeGal posted an update 1 month ago

    Ok, I’m putting my emotions on the back burner and putting on my “wise mind” (and newly growing paralegal) hat on in this ongoing saga with Oregon narc man.

    So… I got to thinking… one of the reasons his complaints are being taken so seriously initially (by the court and now this investigator) is because Oregon has put as one of its top priorities elderly abuse. The State Attorney in Portland has made it his personal mission to crack down on it.

    But.

    On the flipside of that, they will also NOT AT ALL look favorably on anyone who ABUSES the elderly abuse act. Which narc man is doing. He’s already pissed off 2 of the 3 judges within the court system there. And with each of these incidences where he attempts to accuse/charge me to some public agency, the documentation I provide as overwhelming evidence not only against his claims but showing just the opposite (ie HIS abuse of ME), I am gaining more confidence in the fact that, I have nothing to fear! In fact, with each attempt he makes, he only exposes himself more and more….ie…he is hanging himself, all by himself with his own words/threats etc that he wrote to me.

    In addition, I discovered today that he has been on various facebook support pages that I belong to (narc/emotional abuse support fb pages) and using my FIRST AND LAST name, is claiming I abused him and that I am a narcissist. I cannot see him as I have him blocked but a friend of mine (local) who is also on these pages (she also has experienced narc abuse and is the one who told me about the pages) saw him posting about me. She sent me screenshots.

    He is so over the line in violating the restraining order I have on him, however…. I think a smarter thing to do is this:

    Per my attorney, I am going to be forwarding a packet of documentation evidence (emails, financial records (to show it was HE that was taking advantage of ME financially , not the other way around) and now screen shots of his “cyber harassment” )and sending…[Read more]

    • k1W1 replied 1 month ago

      Good on you, you have some wonderful insights there

    • Yes go you! You have absolutely nothing to fear and he is totally shooting himself in the foot!
      Stay strong lovely xxx

    • I can hardly believe the incredible energy he is putting into damaging you after you’ve moved out of state and have no contact! It’s just ridiculous and mind-boggling. What benefit is this to him? I’d report him to the admins of those pages to have them block him and also report him to Fb.

    • @jocord. I actually did that today! He’s been going balls to the wall on these pages for 48 hours now. VERY angry posts. I pm’ed the moderator and asked if she would remove the ones with my name in them (understanding I can’t stop him completely). I told them I had a restraining order on him and he isn’t supposed to be harassing me on social media.

      They not only deleted the posts, they BANNED HIM! I truly didn’t expect that they would! Being believed and being supported NEVER gets old! It made me cry.

      He isn’t going to give up I think, until I HAVE to contact the judge to have him arrested. He’s angry as hell that he cannot get me to respond to him. That I’ve been No Contact since last January and that I am the one who left him and that every time he tries to take me down, it backfires on him. These things, to a narcissist is THE HUGEST affront to them. So he can’t stop until he “gets me.” I knew this back then, and he’s proving it now, 7 friggin months later……..

      But with each incident, it is STRENGTHENING ME. All the guilt and shame he instilled in me trying to make me think “I” was the one who was to blame for everything… well that is quickly going away and the confidence that I am NOT at fault is growing big time.

      But, I have to stay on my toes as he isn’t gonna stop. I know this. This is why I DO NOT WANT HIM TO KNOW WHERE I AM. I am glad he thinks I am still in Oregon.

  • TipsyToeGal posted an update 1 month ago

    Day 198

    I just realized that day 200 for me will be on Sunday…Father’s day. The day me and my siblings are getting together for a picnic on his favorite lake and finally spreading his ashes (he died last Oct). Alcoholism ran on my father’s side of the family and he was a bad one until I was about 20. In treatment for the 3rd time and he just…quit. Finally. Just quit. And he never drank again (he was 74 when he died). Can’t say he didn’t have some “dry drunk” issues but for the most part, he did mature/grow more in his later years. I still really haven’t done a lot of processing of his death yet due to all the drama with ex-narc man in Oregon. But I hope Sunday helps bring some of that about.

    As for ex-narc man, I spoke to my lawyer yesterday and he verified that the call from the Oregon department of human services (DHS) was legit and the guy who called me from there a couple days ago is head of adult protective services and IS doing an investigation on me for allegations of “elderly/disabled abuse”. (ex-narc man filed those charges). He also agreed that ex-narc man is now on the line of harassing me with this continued pursuit to “make me pay” for leaving him. Lawyer called the man at DHS back and gave him a brief history of the situation and stated that it was this man who was doing the stalking/harassing and abusing, not me. He then advised me to follow up with the guy with a phone call and provide the documentation we used in court last April to show how frivolus his claims were and how it really was him doing the abuse. I left the DHS guy a message yesterday and am waiting to hear back. I plan on telling this man that if ex-narc continues to harass me, that I will have my lawyer issue a warrant for his arrest for violating my restraining order against him (which says he is not to harass me or threaten my employment) which his contacting DHS is. (I am licensed by them to do home care in the state of Oregon). I know that…[Read more]

    • I’m so sorry you are still dealing with Oregon man @tipsytoegal – keep doing what you are doing and it will taper down over time. It takes a lot of strength to continue to stay strong like you are doing. Well done lovely. Your fathers day plans sound wonderful, allow yourself to feel that grief but also celebrate your dad for the joy he gave you. All the best to you xoxo

    • Knowing how busy these offices are,.my guess is if they are able to.easily see this is a frivolous claim by your ex, that should be the end of it. Btw, fellow who called you sounds like a few of I’ll suited social workers I’ve come across over the years. And they always seem to land in positions of authority!

    • XXXXXX thank goodness you have good advisors xxxx

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    I think the one commonality here is not your location, but YOU. It is what you decided to do inside of you that made the difference, not where your physical body was located.

    “Wherever I go, there I am”

    And you is quite the overcomer and survivor!

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    One of the beautiful gifts of sobriety is PATIENCE! I had about 2-3 days of issues with the site but I knew it would come back eventually and I just commiserated with you all in my quiet meditation time instead. Thank you for the practice in patience! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ You do a wonderful job keeping us all connected here mrs-d and Dan!!

    • I feel the same @tipsytoegal, it’s such a good exercise in patience.. but really it stresses me out.. I hate tech angst! A big part of the problem is I just don’t understand how any of it works.. but luckily we have a very engaged techie. x

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    WOW! What an inspiring post! I love it!

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    @robynb. dang straight. If all of this is his blowing hot air again, I am literally going to ask my atty to go to the judge and have a bench warrant put out for his arrest for violating my restraining order on him. Put his ass in jail for a few nights, that outta chill his ego. The bail is set already at 7500 dollars (judge tripled the standard dollar amount when he issued the order). His brother/sister lives over 3 hours away, they would be the only ones who would be able to bail him out.

    @Liberty….I snickered at your post… BS is actually his initials. LOL.

  • TipsyToeGal posted an update 1 month ago

    Site seems to be running incredibly slow, I cannot respond to posts and when I click “read more” it takes me to people’s profile pages. I also cannot post an update from the main members feed page. (no post update button to click). I have to go to my own profile page to post anything.

    Just wanted to post an update that I have an appt. with my attorney Thur. morning to discuss this latest harassment ex-narc man from Oregon is pulling on me (see my previous post). I’m so over this….. sigh.

    • k1W1 replied 1 month ago

      Great I hope lawyer had some answers for you. Site is acting all strange I have no post button on my ipad from phone I can buy it took me to your profile page when I hit comment in members feed. On a desk top at work it seemed to run okay. Anyway good luck with lawyer

    • Thanks for posting, I am having exact issues with site. Just trying to wear you down, but too bad little man, she is bigger and smarter and stronger than you. You better run fast the other direction little man, or this lady gonna mow you right down. You got this.

    • How frustrating to still have to deal with this BS. Good luck @tipsytoegal.

      • @robynb. dang straight. If all of this is his blowing hot air again, I am literally going to ask my atty to go to the judge and have a bench warrant put out for his arrest for violating my restraining order on him. Put his ass in jail for a few nights, that outta chill his ego. The bail is set already at 7500 dollars (judge tripled the standard dollar amount when he issued the order). His brother/sister lives over 3 hours away, they would be the only ones who would be able to bail him out.

        @Liberty….I snickered at your post… BS is actually his initials. LOL.

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    I thought of doing that but based on how effed up this nutter is, I thought I’d just wait till I talk to my atty on Thur. The guy who called said he’d give me “a week” to reply. I’ll let atty call it. BUT…. I do know the number itself to DHS in oregon is legit as is the name the person gave me.
    Doesn’t mean he is the ACTUAL person who called me though. But if he wasn’t… ohhhhh I’m gonna nail this nutter’s ass.

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    I’ve seen posts that it has still been happening. A couple times to me as well. I should have copy/pasted!

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    OH yeaaaa! Thank you! 😎

  • TipsyToeGal posted an update 1 month ago

    Ok, need some “calming words” right now. I got a call earlier today from someone who did not identify themselves at first (my first red flag) but the number came from a legitimate number in Oregon (Brookings). So I answered it. A man started saying “hi, I’m just following up on an investigation into something about you and a man named… (and he paused a bit as if he was trying to figure out the pronounciation the name of crazy narc man in Oregon which is NOT hard to pronounce)….he says “I understand there was some harassment and stalking that he said you did?” I did not reply. I said “what is this regarding?” And then he asked some other weird, open ended questions trying to get me to talk. I said “I do not understand what this is in regards to as I am not aware of any investigation of any kind.” And he said “well when reports of this type (WHAT type…?) come in, we. have to follow up on it.” And I said “and who is “we.” And he said “department of social services of Oregon.” And I said “the last thing we were involved in was a court hearing in April.” I did not give details nor did I give any other information to him. He kept pressing me. He said “well, there is a claim you were his caretaker.” I openly stated I was NOT his caretaker. (and there are records for this to prove it). I said “look, I am not comfortable discussing this with you without speaking to my attorney first.” At this point, he got nasty saying “Ok, you mentioned lawyer so I will let you contact them first..since you are unwilling to cooperate.” I said “I am not unwilling to cooperate, I just want to know what my rights are in this situation as I do not know who you are or what this is regarding.” Then there was a pause. I then asked him for his name and he goes “if you would let me speak (??? nobody was speaking??), I was about to tell you my name.” He gave it to me and I recognized it as the head of DHS of Oregon. I thought, wow, he’s really…[Read more]

    • k1W1 replied 1 month ago

      Impersonation seems likely as its strange he wasnt more upfront and professional – can you ring back the number from your phone to see if goes to the office or just a random person. Or use an excuse to ring the office and see if he rang you.

      • I thought of doing that but based on how effed up this nutter is, I thought I’d just wait till I talk to my atty on Thur. The guy who called said he’d give me “a week” to reply. I’ll let atty call it. BUT…. I do know the number itself to DHS in oregon is legit as is the name the person gave me.
        Doesn’t mean he is the ACTUAL person who called me though. But if he wasn’t… ohhhhh I’m gonna nail this nutter’s ass.

    • You reacted perfectly and your attorney will step in here and look into this madness. This sounds very fishy to me as proper legal charges need to be in writing and cannot just be randomly announced over the phone by someone who does not even identify himself at the beginning of the conversation. Give yourself a high five. You did well here today. oxoxoxoxxo

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Its all good guys! I was in a reflective mood and thinking back over the past 2 years of drama and how far I’ve come through it all. And how @mari135 says “we are not at fault!” And it is so true because another quote I heard once has really stuck with me. It says” Nobody gets up in the morning and says ‘how can I best screw up my life today.” No. we do the best we can, even if we at times consciously sabatoge ourselves at times.
    But being sober, what that does is give us the opportunity to gain WISDOM… which helps us GROW. Rather than stay stuck in the same “insanity” (doing the same thing but expecting different results) loop we stay in when drinking.

    So yea, that was the jist of it. πŸ™‚

    Enjoy sober wisdom my friends!

  • TipsyToeGal posted an update 1 month ago

    Day 195.

    ah poo…. I had a big, long post yesterday, and came here this morning to find it poofed away… πŸ™

    Short story.. still trucking along.

    • oxoxox Oh no…hugs if you want one. I hate disappearing posts after pouring it all out. It never comes out as well the second time and of course I keep forgetting to copy/paste it into a Word document just in case to be safe. Every.time. Lol. oxoxox

    • and….200 coming up for you so soon!!!!

    • NOOOO! I was just thinking last night that this had not been mentioned for ages, @Mrs-d ?
      Did you tag anyone? hey will have it in email or notifications and can repost. Back to remembering to tag, save as go if long – or even if short and precious, as every post is XXX

      • I’ve seen posts that it has still been happening. A couple times to me as well. I should have copy/pasted!

    • k1W1 replied 1 month ago

      I like your short story, says a lot in one sentence – brave, sober, achievement, consistent πŸ™‚

    • Its all good guys! I was in a reflective mood and thinking back over the past 2 years of drama and how far I’ve come through it all. And how @mari135 says “we are not at fault!” And it is so true because another quote I heard once has really stuck with me. It says” Nobody gets up in the morning and says ‘how can I best screw up my life today.” No. we do the best we can, even if we at times consciously sabatoge ourselves at times.
      But being sober, what that does is give us the opportunity to gain WISDOM… which helps us GROW. Rather than stay stuck in the same “insanity” (doing the same thing but expecting different results) loop we stay in when drinking.

      So yea, that was the jist of it. πŸ™‚

      Enjoy sober wisdom my friends!

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Oh I hear you today @mari135 I’m doing a lot of that as well, reviewing everything that is currently in my life, looking at its trajectory, people, plans. And lots of what -if’ing. Sobriety does do that, doesn’t it. But feeling it, moving through it, and making new plans if needed is how we do things now, right! May feel strange and new, but that is a good thing. No more “ole familiars” in how we used to deal with things. Real life HAS begun and no matter our ages, it is the perfect time. 💜

    • You said this so well…thanks for this! oxoxox It’s always a treat to talk to you here.
      I am very grateful for this space. It has been invaluable on this sober journey. And beyond of that.

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 month ago

    Oh my goodness! I forgot about your big trip you were going to take! So glad I saw this! Wow, you’re brave and inspiring and heck yea, go for it! Do it all! I shall live it vicariously through your words. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

  • Day 190

    A beautiful, ordinary, task-filled day. Up with the songbirds this morning, scritch-scratching my little fur babies (2 yorkies) for a bit, getting up and doing my morning routine, chatted with daughter for a bit before we both headed off to our respective homecare clients for the day. I had 2 today. An hour apart from each other. That will be changing according to my boss going forward though, too much driving for that. Had delightful conversations with both of them and my 2nd one, a lady kept saying “I sure do appreciate you. I sure am glad you are here today. I sure am grateful for you” etc. Others think she is kind of a grump. In fact, I have the “3 worst grumps” that others say they can’t handle. And all 3 of them have called their case workers to exclaim how much they like me. We laugh, we talk about the old days, i whistle while I vaccum. And in one home, the lady (the “worst of the grumps”) laughed so much watching me stretch over her reclining chair with the vacuum tube trying to get into the corners of her living room. lol!! At the end she goes “you are such a JOY! I can’t wait till you come back!” her giggle sounds like a little girl, just like my gramma’s did. 💓

    And even in the midst of the day, when I struggled to get one client’s on sight washing machine to accept quarters and thought my transmission was going out when I was driving home (I accidentally bumped the handle into “manual drive” and didn’t know it..dugh)… racing home to get the lawn mowed, and then the thick grass kept plugging up the tube…and I ended up not having enough time to go to my swim club to swim and relax…. all of these things were so blessedly…. NORMAL! Sure I cursed a couple times….but my goodness… so not worth the extended frustration or escalation I might have done before that would lead to a drink.

    Instead I came in the house, covered in wet grass grime and sweat and dirt, took a LONG hot shower, made a healthy dinner and…[Read more]

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    🙌 Hats off to you! You are in for the journey of your life! You won’t regret it!

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    💜💜

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    The 30 day “trial” thing was how I started too back in fall of 2017. Had a lot of hits and misses between then and now but made it 9 months last year before having a relapse last Oct/Nov. I’m back on track now 6 months into it!

    But that 30 days really made it doable to me at first. Got me that “break” I needed to start seeing the benefits of NOT drinking (AND the fact that I could DO it!). CONGRATS TO YOU on day 3!!

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    just as a note, we ARE notified when someone else follows us. It shows up on my profile page who is following me. I’m tooooootally fine with this though! πŸ™‚

    • @jesss @rise2015 Hmm notifications you should be turned off as of yesterday late afternoon. They were on up until then so you may have left over notifications from earlier. I just followed you – did you get a notification?

      @tipsytoegal you may be viewing a cached version of the site. I just went and looked at your and my profile and can’t see anything. You can check this by clearing your browser cache, regardless I’ll keep an eye on this ?

      • @danthedev i did not get a notification u followed me. I also did not get a notification u put @ in front of my name😱. I got rise2015 notification before though…

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    ohhhhh! I’m so jealous! The southern coast of Oregon (just north of California border) is where I lived all last year! I know exactly the places you are speaking about and my eyes have stars in them right now…. I miss the area SOOOOOOOOOO much. Beautiful doesn’t even begin to describe it. What it does to your soul is something that must be experienced! So glad that you got to experience it!

    If you make it into Oregon, let me know how far up you go! Between Brookings and Gold Beach is my total favorite spots!

  • Day 188

    G’morning folks. Checking in on this beautiful, sunny and quickly becoming humid day! Even though it is sunny, it is a hazy sun as it has been for the last week due to the wildfires in Canada (I’m in MN). Everything in my garden has sprouted and is growing nicely, I did some more cleanup around the yard with my newly fixed (by me) garden tractor trailer and am settling into a weekly routine with my 10 clients I have (I do homecare for them). One of my clients is not through the company I work for though, it is the father of my bestest friend from childhood who is also like my 2nd father. Having just lost my own father last year, it is a special joy to be helping him now that his wife has passed. I wasn’t here for my own father like I would have wanted to be since I was in Oregon last year but I can be there for him. Last week I taught him to make hard boiled eggs and hawaiian chicken breasts in his Instant Pot! We had so much fun and he totally caught on to it!! Hoping to expand his recipe choices (I am creating a small binder of recipes for him to refer to) so that he doesn’t succumb to the “eating out” or “microwave food” habit that a lot of older folks get into. Seems to be working!

    I’ve also decided to drop back down to the ONE flute choir group that I like the most (Flute Cocktail is their name. πŸ™‚ ) instead of a 2nd one that I thought I could juggle too. It was proving to be too much to do both, especially when I start school in the fall which is on Tue and Thur nights. 2nd flute choir group is on Wed. nights. Don’t want to be tying up 3 nights a week like that right now, along with working during the days as well.

    The prior Type A busy body me would have taken it all on and then some…but I am learning to have balance in ALL areas of my life right now and down time is just as important to that.

    Am a little worried about my older yorkie Kokomo who is 13. He has that “old man” look that dogs get, kinda skinny…[Read more]

    • Ohh always such a privilege to get a glimpse-visit into your life, girl!!!
      oxoxoxox
      I love hearing what you’re up to and how you get into such a good self-care habit of reducing things like the commitments you make so that life feels comfortable for you. You deserve to design a life that sparks joy.

      oxoxox

    • Lovely. Yes yes yes, no more drama. Many say we look for it/create it/ attract it – but really? I guess I did with my husband, I did know what I was getting into – but in the end, it was the need for babies that drove it. I did propose to a lovely, calm man. Unfortunately he had just taken up with someone … I should have fought for him as we were gooood, but I couldn’t do that to another woman, no matter how inappropriate they were, or how brief it had been.
      Never mind … the biblical view is that we are now remade pots aren’t we? or burnished in the fires πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ˜‰ sure are

    • Wow, just listen to you! Fantastic. If you are looking for some evidence that stopping drinking is worthwhile then look back at some of your posts 200+ days ago. You are flying! well done.

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    HA! Great immunity!!!

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 month, 1 week ago

    Oh no! Flu? Certainly got to be better than a hang over! Go you!

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Hon, you’re posting here, and you are hearing others here whose words have stuck with you….. this is good! You are processing it all.. working it out… asking the RIGHT questions about “why/where/how” and will add this all to your research that you are doing… it is a process and it is NOT perfect…..you are in the storm and you are NOT drowning… even if it may feel like it.. keep swimming hon…. the shore is out there!

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    Everybody’s got a number! Your’s seems clear! And they are all GOOD things. CONGRATS!!

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 month, 2 weeks ago

    I hope your daughter made it there ok! Where are you going traveling for 5 weeks?

  • Had to share one more time today. Heee hee I am so tickled with myself!! Ok, so I have this small trailer/wagon that can be hooked up behind a riding lawn mower for hauling stuff. It has two small wheels on it. That daggone thing has been sitting next to the garage for over 2 years now and one of the tires (which was flat) was stuck partially in the ground because my ex-husband never dealt with. In addition, the wagon itself was full of dirt from an unfinished project, so it was heavy and unmovable.

    When we were cleaning out the garage last weekend, ex-husband found the new tire and inner tube he bought for it awhile back. But he told me I would have to get the old wheel off the wagon/trailer and take it somewhere to have it pumped up and put on.

    So I’ve been gazing at that thing all week. Contemplating how to deal with it. Well today, I decided to bring a wheelbarrow over to it, and in 2 separate loads, I transferred all that hard dirt with a spade shovel into the wheelbarrow and used it to spread across a portion of my lawn that was sparse of grass (of which I then seeded with new grass seed). With the trailer empty, I rocked it back and forth and got it out of the ground and tipped on its side!

    Then I got my handy dandy tool box (which ex-husband was kind enough to put together for me with duplicates and triplicates of tools he had all over the garage) and figured out how to get the little keylock pin out of the wheel axle (it holds the wheel onto the axle) and slid that tire right off. I then took it just down the road to my auto mechanic (awesome guy) and asked him if he was able to put the new tube in the new tire and put it on the wheel well. He did. And didn’t charge me a thing (he told me “happy birthday! since I told him it was my birthday). lol

    Well, the key pin was rusted so it had busted when I took it out of the wheel and he gave me a new one. I brought it back and put the wheel on and slipped in the new keypin, bent…[Read more]

  • Day 184

    Hi guys. Quick in and out here. Summer has sprung. (86 degrees predicted for today!), my yard and garden are all up to snuff, my house is clean, I got good food in the fridge, got school registered for the fall (paralegal program) and I’m off to see my last 2 clients of the week (homecare). Was a BUSY week but I totally handled it like a champ! I’m BACK INTO MY LIFE!!!!

    Oh! And it’s my birthday today. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ :).

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