• TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 4 days, 6 hours ago

    Just got word back from atty (who accidentally butt dialed me??). He already mailed it directly to ex-man… why is HE mailing that???????? I am so frustratingly confused???

  • TipsyToeGal posted an update 4 days, 6 hours ago

    Day 113

    Oyyyyyyyy……..whyyyyyyyy do things have to be so…….ugh.

    Ok, so attorney emailed me copies of the documents he filed with the court today to contest the restraining order. IN it contains a letter of request asking for a specific date to schedule the hearing since I am flying in from out of state. I VERY EXPLICITLY told attorney…[Read more]

    • Just got word back from atty (who accidentally butt dialed me??). He already mailed it directly to ex-man… why is HE mailing that???????? I am so frustratingly confused???

    • Oh that’s awful @tipsytoegal, what a careless violation. I wish I could give you some helpful advice. 🙁

    • Useless bastard!!! And he should know better. I think these lawyers just want your money and don’t give a shit. I’m really angry and frustrated for you right now and wish I could offer something helpful. So sorry you are going through this sort of shit. It is a careless violation as @Liberty said.

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 5 days, 3 hours ago

    Reading these posts here, you all are describing something so similar to what I have been going through personally…. and the reason I say that is, because what I faced was pure evil…. and so have you guys… there is no other name to give it. Pure Evil…… its effects are so universal……..
    and the effects that has on a person IS like it…[Read more]

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 5 days, 7 hours ago

    This is such an awesome post. Wow. So well said!!! 💓

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 5 days, 7 hours ago

    @Liberty You made a statement about “collective trauma” and I think you nailed it there. For me in the USA the thing I have to compare this to is 9-11 (September 11, 2001) when the twin towers fell etc. In my generation, this was the biggest national event to hit us. Then of course is all the school shootings etc since then. But that…[Read more]

    • Thanks so much @tipsytoegal, I read your post a few times, it gives comfort. xx
      Also I’m so pleased for you; the news you posted yesterday. Just didn’t hv the heart to reply then, but it’s great. ❤

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 6 days, 6 hours ago

    WOW! CONGRAT!!!! I have been following your journey since you started at Christmas time. What are your plans for after 90 days?

    • I am planning on trying to drink reasonably from March 20, 2019 until the summer solstice on June 21, 2019. I am doing this season to season since forever seems too daunting. I will admit I am concerned about how fast my drinking will escalate, but I am really going to try to be more mindful about it. I know famous last words… I’ll be…[Read more]

      • Hi @ridge “I am planning on trying to drink reasonably from March 20” My hat is off to you if you can pull that one off; I failed miserably at such attempts. If you can find the time it would be well worth recording how you feel right now (emotionally that is) and then comparing it to how you are in 3 months time. If you record this “before and…[Read more]

      • @ridge congratulations on meeting your goal! I look forward to your updates on the experiment. I’m with @daveh hats off to you if you can do it- I never could. 🙂

      • That sounds like fucking torture. But who knows. Enjoy @ridge!

      • Sorry about my last comment “That sounds like fucking torture” @ridge but it does. At least to me but maybe you are different and can moderate. I’m guessing, though, since your here and having to think about this so much and put so much effort into controlling your drinking that it may be a bit of a problem in your life. Just guessing. I wish you…[Read more]

  • TipsyToeGal posted an update 6 days, 7 hours ago

    Day 112

    OMG OMG OMG!!! ::::breathe:::::: I just got off the phone with an attorney regarding contesting the frivilous restraining order ex-abusive man put on me (that can affect my employment potentially). I gave him the facts of things, told him of the evidence I had and he said he was “exceedingly confident” that it would be dropped. I…[Read more]

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 6 days, 13 hours ago

    Oh I’m so sorry! One breath at a time hon. One breath at a time. We’re here if you need us! Sending hugs and strength to you.

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 6 days, 13 hours ago

    You have definitely got the right idea about how to overcome that demon. And I do personally believe they are just that. Give him no attention and starve the bugger dry!

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    LOL! Love it!

    • I must have made it to about the first 4-way stop sign….when all my mindfulness-loving-kindness went right out of the window…lol. 😉
      Let me just say…I do not believe human beings were meant to be given freedom to negotiate between 4 drivers right of way…a roundabout makes wayyyy more sense.

      oxoxoxo

  • TipsyToeGal posted an update 1 week ago

    Day 110.

    Woke up feeling peaceful today. And feeling grateful. I treasure this space this morning because my experience of this has been so few and far between in this last year. I am grateful for the sunshine and song of spring birds this morning, even though there is still snow on the ground. I am grateful that the temps are going to go up…[Read more]

    • Beautiful @TipsyToeGal

    • Brilliant. Sounds like you are finding and accepting yourself in this gentle way. Life will wait.

      • Thank you TipseyToeGal… you are a winner. This is a beautiful post…even lifting a coffee pot and being present in the action is an embrace with peace. There is so much to be grateful for when we live gently with ourselves and our world. thankyou for sharing your bravery and the light it brings…

    • Sounds like mindfulness @tipsytoegla. Whatever it is, I’m glad of your peace. xxx

    • 110 days….legend!! oxoxoxo Like I said before, realizing someone we thought was a decent person is a narcissist on the malignant end of the spectrum…is disturbing as hell, to say the least. You will overcome this and this entire experience will be nothing but a memory someday. That’s what the police officer told me when he drove me from the…[Read more]

    • Jocord replied 1 week ago

      I’m so glad you are at peace today @tipsytoegal! Love your coffee pot description. I just thought the same as I concentrated on chopping an onion. xx

    • Hi @tipsytoegal I am so happy you are finding peace and joy in the world again. I believe out of great sadness can come beauty both inside and out. It speaks clearly of the person you are that is it this way you chose to be and grow.
      In some ways it is a choice, the sadness and pain can destroy and harden the heart but it can also open doors and…[Read more]

    • Congrats on day 110 @tipstoegal 🙂

    • Awww beautiful ❤️ So so happy to hear you feeling more at peace and surrounded by love, you so deserve it ❤️❤️❤️

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    WHOO HOO! Tim that is awesome!!!

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Please give everyone there a hug from me! Thinking of you all!! 💜

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    @mari135. Very good analogy. And yes, that is exactly what he is. I definitely know this now. I just need to be patient. I’m so used to the prior resilient me who just bops back up to the surface when life takes me down but this is a whole different beast so I need to be kind to myself and take it slow. Thank you. 💜

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    Thank you!! 💜

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    @Saoirse You are right, I don’t think I could live fully if I didn’t let that part of me come forth again. I was never more happy when than when I was fully expressing myself in that way….especially last summer, when he was “love bombing” me and telling me how beautiful I was being like that. Even if he didn’t mean it, he was still mirroring…[Read more]

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    @truthangel. I appreciate you sharing your experience. I’m so sorry you went through this as well, and with children too! But I’m so glad you made a new life for yourself and that gives me hope.
    One of the things that really helps right now is validation of what I experienced. I’m on a couple of support groups online and the sharing there is…[Read more]

  • TipsyToeGal posted an update 1 week, 1 day ago

    Day 109

    G’morning warriors. Just checking in. I have been back to MN since last Tue (12th) and haven’t really done much since then. Although I did go to my first flute choir rehearsal yesterday with the ONE music group I decided to join back up with again. (I was in 5-6 different groups for 16 years before this last year happened). It felt…[Read more]

    • oxoxoxox These are all very very normal symptoms of PTSD, TipsyToeGal. It can take time to recover from having a run-in with a narcissistic sociopath, which I believe this man to be after everything you shared with us. No wonder you feel the way you do! I am proud of you for how you handled it all….sober. NONE of this was your fault. Normal…[Read more]

      • @mari135. Very good analogy. And yes, that is exactly what he is. I definitely know this now. I just need to be patient. I’m so used to the prior resilient me who just bops back up to the surface when life takes me down but this is a whole different beast so I need to be kind to myself and take it slow. Thank you. 💜

    • Big hugs lovely, you have been through so much! But look at how strong you are, still here, still sober and not being afraid to face all these emotions! I’m so proud of how you are doing ❤️❤️❤️

    • You sound like a very sensible, incredibly strong lady. If you keep taking one day at a time with that great positive attitude you will eventually look back and be amazed at how far you have come. As you rightly say – small goals are the way to do it. Be kind to yourself. Be your own best friend and use your support network to hero you going.…[Read more]

    • I’m really feeling you @TipsyToeGirl. I felt very much the same way as you after I left my toxic man. His nastiness was in what he didn’t say and do. He had a creepy vibe. I sometimes think now that it was all my fault. Frankly I became crazy and helpless with that toxic man and my kids suffered. I wanted to leave him so much sooner than I did but…[Read more]

      • @truthangel. I appreciate you sharing your experience. I’m so sorry you went through this as well, and with children too! But I’m so glad you made a new life for yourself and that gives me hope.
        One of the things that really helps right now is validation of what I experienced. I’m on a couple of support groups online and the sharing there is…[Read more]

    • Hi @tipsytoegal, so much of what you are feeling I have at times felt myself. I have been missing my son all through this journey but there are times when I feel it more keenly, there are times I have wanted to slip away quietly even when I have been happy because the thought of living with this ache constantly has seemed to be too hard.
      I am…[Read more]

      • @Saoirse You are right, I don’t think I could live fully if I didn’t let that part of me come forth again. I was never more happy when than when I was fully expressing myself in that way….especially last summer, when he was “love bombing” me and telling me how beautiful I was being like that. Even if he didn’t mean it, he was still mirroring…[Read more]

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 week, 1 day ago

    oh I love that and it is so true!

  • TipsyToeGal posted a new activity comment 1 week, 3 days ago

    I am wondering when the annual gathering of folks from this page was going to be? I thought it was right about now in NZ? Are many of you together right now during this?

  • Load More