11 days sober Doing ok Taking two weeks off wrk to wrk on my recovery need it. Jst the endless push to go to wrk is too much at moment. So taking some time to stop and wrk on my addictions and hav me time. Lookin forward to it. Seems that im riddled with different addictions Stoping the main ones first ,and trying not to be too hard on my self. Peace
11 days is (and all the days before that are) great @tim. Great you are taking time for you. I hope this is not intrusive…I just want to say I find the language you’re using about yourself has my heart a bit sad and I want to stand up for you. You’re not riddled, as if you’re full of diseases or something. You’re just a person whose nervous system is disregulated and is still in the process of learning how to regulate it yourself without these other behaviours. That’s a very human, common experience. Many of us are so used to this disregulation (emotionally painful) we have no idea what it’s like not to be. But it’s how we are, not who we are. Perhaps there are other as-yet-undiscovered levels of Tim-ness waiting to be found. 🙂 You’re a human in the process of becoming whole, as we all are. Peace. x
I second @Liberty, @tim. You are so sensitive and caring. You strive to live healthily. You put yourself out there which is more than many do! I love the idea there are undiscovered levels on Tim-ness. Onward! xo
I second Liberty, 11 days +++++ how many???? Let us celebrate the total with you! Is there a different fram to put around ” riddled with so many addictions”? Like, try, Tim is a sensitive, hard working man who struggles at times to be his best, healthy self as his family is not the best support, and friends…? However, over the past … Year? Two years, Tim has achieved a huge amount in terms of health, sobriety, thinking hard about caring for himself, reaching out here to others… I could go on…
Hey @tim you trying to figure out why your on the Feeris Wheel? I would say stop worrying about all your “other addictions” focus on the one your here for. I could think of many other so called addictions that are minor in comparison. Have you thought your reading to much into them? To me it does. Seems A.A not working, try own self motivation, rational recovery. I believe they have a group at A&D in chch or they used to. Think you need to branch out. Tell me to fark off but you have been here so many times before.
@tim, please don’t lose faith in being AF. You know you can do it now so just get back on the horse. I had so many day 1’s over the years and it’s really a learning experience each and every one. Just be easy on yourself today….thinking about you.
Take care @tim, wish I could pop over for a cuppa and tell you how great you are. No it’s no fun. But it was one day, with over 100 AF days before it, and more in front of you. Your AF days now greatly outnumber your drinking days. So be kind to yourself, you are doing this.
Hi Tim. Every day is a new beginning, and regardless of how many days you have under your belt there’s always one days that’s far more important than all the others… and that’s today. What we do today is what will soon be our past. What we do with it matters more than anything else. It sets our past and steers our future. Give yourself a good bollocking, then get back to it.
Peace love and gratitude These words create the most beautiful water cristals. And we are 90%water Move with these words in your heart Create beutiful loving soulfull selfs Today right now! With lov and gratitude anything is possible With peace the world would be 100% better place. A grateful drunk dosent drink!! Today im grateful for mrs D and being able to express myself on this site. Im grateful for my higherpower and the realationship were building. Im greatful for Aa for giving me a voice and listerning. Greatfull for roof overhead,food in cubboard,petrol in car! Today anything is possible Cos were sober! Keep moving forward TRUCKING THE ROAD TO HAPPY DESTINY PEACE God bless
Hello sober people of the world 110 sober days 6 and a bit days vape free too Im using patchs and lozengers to stay vape free Been a tuff week With a lot of anger and bad grumpy patches Alot of swear words the f word especially. Hope this will pass Mind you had smoking and vaping to push down feelings and emotions for 28 years So its a merical ive stoped with the help of a loving higherpower anything is possible!! Was going to stop coffee as well but im drinkin a few cups now guess one thing at a time. Been eating a lot of junk this week Am going to hav to watch my food intake as i can see this will be my next challenge!! I’ve booked in for some counseling next week with a Christian councilor so coll want to talk about my family and child hood trauma And addiction, anxiety, depression well all the good stuff realy so looking foreatd to getting it out and hopefully more tools for tool box!! Yyyaaay vape free me Only freash air for timmys lungs One min one hr one day at a time Mericals do happen Look at all of us ex boozers!! Stay cool to after school….then do the next right this God bless Peace be with ya!!
Yeah look at all of us ex- boozers! I am so proud of us, we’re amazing. I agree Tim- it’s too much to sort out all of our addictions in one hit, but they can be picked off one at a time. (I’m terrible with coffee, and for now that’s the way it is). Good to hear you naming your angry feelings, helps seperate yourself from them a bit. You are not your feelings. You are a wonderful person who is making great strides towards a sober, sane and calm life. Kia kaha Tim!
peace be with you, @tim. i quit smoking about two months before i quit drinking. of course, now i shove food down my throat. goodness forbid, i would think about what i am actually continuing to keep down with all the stuff i stuff down my throat. it is a lot of word this addiction stuff. congrats to you . for all of it.
Traveling a bit hard today Having real trouble getting my head around The fact my family hav givin me very little emotional support on this journey. From 17 its been your a adult now you look after your own shit now. Yes they put a roof over my head and food on the table…but no emotional support or loving support its allways been you look after yourself you find out for your self . Were has the loving guidance been …nil So i find myself in the same place again Finding my own way. Tuff lov i supose Its not what i need Emotions and feelings are coming up And family are like build a bridge Man…..bit lost Spose ill keep on trucking At this time in our life im just going to stop looking for support there. I jst get hurt evertime. Peace
oxoxoxo Not feeling seen and heard by our family of origin can cause a lot of suffering. No wonder you feel the way you do.
Just know it is NOT your fault, and that blue wave that may be lurking around today is going to pass. It won’t always be as hard as it feels like today. Sometimes (most of the time!) all we can do is go to bed early….sleep….wake up and take a shower….a brisk morning walk…and we already feel 10-20% better.
Hiya @Tim. In some odd turn in the natural structure, family is often the least compassionate to their family members. It’s sad, for sure. I think we all experience that, from time to time and, for different reasons. Hmph. Sometimes, we just have to learn how to forgive them. Have you had a frank discussion with one or more of them to explain how you feel about their apparent lack of ‘care or concern’? That well runs deep, I suspect. In the meantime, you sure have us (And, a few select friends?)
Hey @tim I can totally relate to that! I have zero emotional support from my family also and I keep hurting myself over and over trying to get it and failing. I know now that it is pointless as they will not change and I have to look for support elsewhere. It sux, you think being family they should be there always but unfortunately it’s not always the case. Over the last few months I have been distancing myself from my family because I always end up feeling like shit whenever I see them and I need to put myself first. Stay strong, we are here to support you, post whenever you need xxx
@tim, I get it. Half of my immediate family have died from alcohol and drugs and the other half are a mess and totally self absorbed. I get my support from the friends I’ve made in AA and from here. That’s enough for now. Don’t need people who will drag me down when I’m trying to move up.
I really relate to all this. It bloody hurts and theres a certain grief to be lived through with the acceptance of it all. I hear you. I let mine go. They are hate filled judgemental narcissists and life is better without them in it. I drank to dull the hurt but it left me in a worse place emotionally and spiritually. The world is full of good people who care. Peace out.
Sorry it’s tough right now @tim and that your family doesn’t offer/give you any support. One thing for sure……neither will alcohol. Oh it will pretend it’s your best friend but you know it will leave you feeling worse than you do now. Stay strong and this will pass. Do something good for yourself and or someone else. You can ride this out. Sending you strength.
We’re all survivors Addiction We were Enslaved in a habit that will take us out! But now we know the beauty of being free. May its ok Everythings going to be allright Push on through I think your days about to get better Keep ya chin up Stoping drinking is not a sacrifice But a awesome opportunity. One foot in front of the other Walking the road to happy destiny! Peace and god bless
YAY for you @tim! you are really doing it this time. I know that things have been tough in your world but you are managing to stay sober regardless. Things always get better and you will still be sober when this happens and with no regrets! Rock on you sober warrior!!!
99 days struggling today I got realy angry yesterday its a emotion i dont know how to handle it went from zero to realy anger in minutes straight away i wanted to drink .had a crap night sleep and today i dont want to leave the house,may be everything has come to a head with everything thats happened the last few weeks in chch Going camping with my father didnt help at all some things he said hurt me my family dont understand at all and there not emotionally there at all. Realy feel like turning my thinking off Jst gona put self to bed today.
Hey @tim I am so sorry to hear you are struggling ! Do whatever you need to get through this without resorting to alcohol ❤️ Are there any meetings you could go to today or perhaps get out for a surf? Stay close here and let us know how you are going xxx
You’re going through a tough time at the moment. It’s good to acknowledge your feelings but don’t let them take you down. Perhaps go for a walk or a surf. It’s a good thing you don’t drink as that stuff will make it all a hundred times worse. Take care.
It really is a hard emotion to handle @tim. It’s been a bit of a life-long project for me too. I just want to acknowledge that you felt really hurt by whatever your Dad said. It matters. You keep trying with your family even though it seems there’s a high risk you’ll come away feeling hurt and angry. I’m so sorry, that’s a very painful situation. It’s also very brave of you to keep trying. For today I hope you can look after your hurt heart. What might your heart need I wonder. To stay inside; to get active, to call a friend, to get in the sea…? Go gently today.
Ouch that sounds really painful @tim. You don’t seem an angry kind of a guy. Your dad has inadvertently (I think) pushed some buttons. Ouch ouch ouch. Please please hang in ther, you know drinking would hurt not help.
Today I rise again To keep up the good fight Free,free together were free To make good choices To start good habits To keep doing the next right things I dont want to spend my life stuck in a pattern I want to be different I want to be changed One foot in front of the other 2 steps forward 1 step back Rome wasn’t built in a day May all your wishes come true Keep it simple Keep it true To you Self honesty is the way We can do it ,to a new day One day we’ll look back and laugh At the madness that used to be! You know We can do this!! Give yourself a pat on the back Or a big self bear hug!! Your doing allright Your going good Keep up the good fight Together WE can do this!@ PEACE!!:)
Gidday people of the world Sober is sober does Sober as a happy sober thing Higher power strength of my soul May today be sober bliss God truth and light My we keep up the good fight And help another To get outa my head My stupendest thinking problem That only action can fix And doing the next right thing So let the sober joy flow Pray my cup run over Peace love n gratitude!!!!!!!
Gidday crew Heading south with my dad For a boys trip to Kakanui Hope the surfs a good size and pumping!! Bonfire on da beach taking my guitar and my didgeridoo some soul time! So cool to be emotionally sober and cool to hang with dad he’s 74 this year!! Anyhoo Remember good times..tuff times Everything passes So jst try to enjoy the ride!! Peace,lov n gratitude God bless
90 days peeps Only 10 more sleeps to the hundie club Stay as strong as a strong thing!! We can do this If i dont pick up the first drink i wont get drunk!! Keep up the good fight God bless Peace n lov 2 ya!!
Hello all Yesterday i was realy sad and depressed as to what happened in chch. Realy felt like numbing the feelings out,spent the day by myself got no /very little support from family which is sad.(no more isolating ) Im a Big feeler/very sensitive person this can make living in the world difficult and a challenge. I normally dont watch the news not for 4 years but fri night and yesterday watched a lot on whats happened etc so definitely a overload for me. Proud im sober today had a huge sleep put myself to sleep realy early last night so feeling ok this morn. The feelings are passing My heart goes out to the people and families still suffering in chch. Drinking and druging would only be a temporary solution to feelings,emotions that take time to heal. Thanks very much for the support Cheers melnz And to all you sober superstars Keep on trucking We can do this!!
i’m sorry @Tim, I am also an “empath” or sensitive person, I pick up vibes or waves of emotions from others or just sometimes places themselves. Treat yourself gentle, is there something you can indulge in to feel better? Swim in the surf? probably cool there now tho. Whatever, sending good vibes (which you could possibly pick up too) out across the world buddy. Shut the news down. You have seen and heard enough. You are doing really well. Take care.
Hi @Tim I was feeling extra sensitive yesterday too. Unfortunately my daughter watched the live stream footage of the attack before it was removed and had sent the link to me. I chose not to watch it and am so glad I didnt because it affected my daughter deeply. So glad you woke up sober and feeling better this morning. Sometimes looking after ourselves is all we can do to help. Have a nice restful Sunday.
Big hugs to you! It is so devastating even more so being a sensitive person and living in Christchurch ❤️ Well done on staying sober and looking after yourself, that’s awesome! Can you get out today, go for a surf, go for a bush walk, go out for a coffee with a friend just for some connection? Stay strong @tim ❤️❤️❤️
Aw, Tim! Good on you staying away from the media. The psychs here told us to not watch happenings such as this over and over because we get retraumatized everytime and never get to move on to healing. Hugs to you and all my NZ friends!
Yes @Tim I am struggling deeply with it too. One nice thing was yesterday in Tauranga when my friend @normaleelucid was taking me back to the airport we passed a mosque and there were people there milling about, some praying, some bringing flowers, some muslem, some not, all there together, far away from Christchurch, feeling it, connecting, showing their repsect. It was beautiful.
Hi Tim. It is sad your beautiful city is suffering once again. Our safe little haven NZ has been violated. Well done on remaining sober and using your knowledge to keep safe. Sending my compassion to you Tim.
Hi @tim, just checked in here to make sure you OK, happy to learn you are safe. We don’t know each other… but I always read your posts & silently ‘cheerlead’ your AF journey & great progress. Remembered you mentioning Brighton so assumed you live in Chch and just wanted to reach out to you & all my fellow kiwis going through this terrible time. Kia kaha
Sober me 87 days The sobriety counter says Bit o rain on the roof Time to hav a nice pray And go about the day Smile as i work Connect with people and the earth Happy to be clean n sober Keep up the good fight As Maori tim used to say Don’t repeat it Be coming mentally healthier by the day!! Give your self a pat on the back or a self bear hug!! Knowing that god loves us very much Peace:)
Hi @Tim You’re onto it. “mentally healthier”… that’s the goal isn’t it. The days counter is an interesting thing, but it doesn’t show what really matters. The aim of recovery is mental wellness. The counter doesn’t measure wellness, it measures sobriety. It’s uplifting to see your message every morning; thank you.
Hello all Sober 71 days Been a lot overwhelmed lately NOT GOING TO DRINK OR DRUG Letting my emotions go im not in control Ive jst lately realized im addicted to selfpity and afraid to be happy a lot of the time. Seems crazy but is true There seems to be a safe place in being blue Learning to hand it over to god God actually wants me to be joyous happy and free! If your struggling thinkin of ya Sending happy thoughts your way! God bless
Hello Hows it going Try to be strong today! The sun is rising down the beach A beautiful orange yellow Over a green blue ocean With amazing mysterys Unfolding in the light The driftwood sits on the shore line In the shadows of day and night Footprints on the sand leading To a better way Raised arms to the sky And i say hallelujah SOBER TODAY!! PEACE B WITH YA GOD BLESS!!
62 days:) thats good for my ego!! Well my funk has passed Thanks to jesus Having a higher power in my life is awesome Jst take my hands off the wheel and let him steer. I do take back my will alot this gets me in trouble. Need to live the thy will be done way As my will and ego wants me using everytime. Been traveling well with the drinking side of my addiction i did think of drinking before church last night as i was quite anxious and had a f,it thought but made the effort and my anxiety passed,it was awesome once this passed !! I realy dont want to be lost down the rabbit hole again as my higher power and me are finding a new way! Realy exciting to be sober and moving to be healthier and nicotine free and drink less caffeine! Dads b day today which will be nice..hav to buy a prezzy 4 him and spoil him a wee bit. Like ti fit a meeting in too but my itinerary is kinda full till wednesday…….hm Actually i think theres a new meeting that starts early 645 on a mon,wed ,fri Will check my meetings list. Any hooo gota fly If your struggling put your trust in a higherpower! Dont pick up the first drink Reach out to other people We cant do this alone its too big Together we can do anything Stay cool Be you God and us We’ve got this!! Peace!!
Feelin a bit flat Well how about that Up n down Round n round Cant be happy all the time If i dont hav the lows Wont know the highs Lows are better hangover free No headaches for me Or empty wallet with blackout memories Or my gods what happened last night So people keep up the good fight Jst ask god to set you free He will help you and me! Hav a happy day were ever you are Stay sober everyone we will go far! ….haha feeling better now!! Peace,lov n gratitude 2U!!
Hello sober super stars Well im 59 days sober today Feeling ok Been a lot happy today Hope i dont crash and burn Hav a few days off till next wed so good time to catch up on meetings and selfcare. Hope to catch a wave or two as well…and a gym sesh. Any good tips to loose a sugar belly Spose eat nutrient meals and exercise Smaller portions i cook for myself so theres allways enough for two….could freeze half? And im still fully oversensitive any ideas on how to overcome that one? Seems i used alcohol too numb thoughs uncomfortable feelings for a long time!! Now if someone says anything hurtfull i take offence and hold on to it. At aa theys say pray for that person wish them all the best!! Think ill give that a go! Keep up the good fight people We’re doing ok Jst for today. Peace
Definitely try the keto way of eating. I have barely touched sugar for 29 weeks and not craved anything much. Great food, never hungry. It is known to really help with mood too, many on the NZ keto FB site saying they don’t need their depression or anxiety meds any more. Amazing healing occurs for so many years health issues. Check it out 🙂
Yes! Challenge your thoughts: It’s not about you, it’s about them. Maybe they’re having a bad day. Wow, it must be hard to be them. They just don’t understand how that hurt. Etc. Etc. It may be easier to challenge your thoughts if you understand your underlying schema. A schema is the primary theme that underlies your negative thoughts about self and usually, it is derived in childhood. So, for instance, one of my schemas is that I’m never good enough, which was likely derived from my mother’s idea of what makes a woman worthwhile is her beauty and my mother’s concept of beauty does not include me. So, then breaking that down, you recognize that that is illogical because all humans have their own beauty; her narrow concept of beauty is really about her own insecurity; and then you find the compassion for her (because how sad is that that her world is so closed?), thus are able to free up from the schema. However, the schema has been layed down, so being freed up from it really means you are able to challenge it and not be defined by it. Hope that isn’t too confusing or weird. But, seriously, it works.
Loved your advice and explanation of schemas and how they affect our thoughts, Frog! Either you are in the business of therapy or you have a damn good therapist. =) To put in my 2 cents @tim, I also like to think of them as “the stories we well ourselves”. For example, what are the stories I tell myself about why I’m never supposed to feel angry? (Good girls don’t get angry, no one likes you when you are angry, kept to yourself because nothing changes). Where does this story come from? (society, and my family when I was growing up). And then what is a new story I can tell myself when I catch those old thoughts occurring? (Ah, here it is again. I’m feeling angry, but I’m stuffing it down because I was not “allowed” to have that feeling in the past. Its okay to be angry and its good to express it so that the people around me have the opportunity to make changes). Same concept, said just a little differently.
Yeah, another perspective is when. People say hurtful things it’s often a reflection on them and their own issues which are being deflected on to you. Try to put the mean comment in an imaginary balloon @tim and imagine letting it go as it flys away ! ❤️❤️❤️
Hello Be like tree Drop dead leaves Holding on to resentments Only hurts me Its like drinking poison And hoping the other person dies Drinking alcohol and druging for me Is like having a headache and bashing my head with a hammer to try and alleviate it. Moving forward One step at a time As the sun will rise I too will rise Hope its a good sunrise bro!! All the best… Thy will be done ,not mine My will gets me undone and stuck. Peace B with you:)
Hungry Angry Lonely TIRED Definitely Tired Drinkin wont help Its the thinkin not the drinkin I will not escape 4 today Head on one step at a time We can do this Pooo to alcohol Nasty shxt Drinkin is not the solution Jst makes things 100 times worse Time to pray And get on with the day!! Peace lov n gratitude We can do this!!
Goood mooorning peeps of the world! What ever comes our way we can choose to be sober and drug free Yaaay We’re saved from the madness The loop of addiction No longer Im the one who dug this grave But god and you set me free Thankyou! Keep it up peeps Together we can do this A true rescue:)
Hello sober warriors KEEP UP THE GOOD FIGHT Yay day off Time to get up and into action Jst call me tim the action man haha Faith without wrks is dead!! Well got to say i dont hav a drinkin prob i hav a thinkin prob. Positive thoughts today for everyone!! I woke up at midnight and ate icecream….such a bad ass these days seems i wont be buying ice cream in the grocerys anymore haha One scoops to many a whole cartions not enough lol At lest i didnt take chocolate to bed and wake up with chocolate every were wondering what happened lol Next mission to eat nutrient meals and loose my sugar belly !! Exercise way more Stay connected to jesus And jst do the next right thing!! GOD AND US CAN DO THIS!! TOGETHER WE CAN ACCOMPLISH ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING!! All we cant do anymore is drink and drug!! What a blessing!! Peace B with ya!! Hav a fab day!!