• tim posted an update 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    11 days sober
    Doing ok
    Taking two weeks off wrk to wrk on my recovery need it.
    Jst the endless push to go to wrk is too much at moment.
    So taking some time to stop and wrk on my addictions and hav me time.
    Lookin forward to it.
    Seems that im riddled with different addictions
    Stoping the main ones first ,and trying not to be too hard on my self.
    Peace

    • Glad that you’re here! It’s good you took some time to focus on your recovery. IWNDWYT <3

    • 11 days is (and all the days before that are) great @tim.
      Great you are taking time for you.
      I hope this is not intrusive…I just want to say I find the language you’re using about yourself has my heart a bit sad and I want to stand up for you. You’re not riddled, as if you’re full of diseases or something. You’re just a person whose nervous system is disregulated and is still in the process of learning how to regulate it yourself without these other behaviours. That’s a very human, common experience. Many of us are so used to this disregulation (emotionally painful) we have no idea what it’s like not to be.
      But it’s how we are, not who we are.
      Perhaps there are other as-yet-undiscovered levels of Tim-ness waiting to be found. ๐Ÿ™‚
      You’re a human in the process of becoming whole, as we all are.
      Peace. x

      • I second @Liberty, @tim. You are so sensitive and caring. You strive to live healthily. You put yourself out there which is more than many do! I love the idea there are undiscovered levels on Tim-ness. Onward! xo

    • Time off work sounds really sensible @tim. Keep taking care of yourself.

    • That’s awesome self-care@tim you are doing so well to put yourself first like that!
      We are all here to support you ❤️

    • Good for you! Taking good care of yourself is absolutely essential. Be kind and patient with you. Your well on your way. Congrats. Enjoy the peace.

    • I second Liberty, 11 days +++++ how many???? Let us celebrate the total with you!
      Is there a different fram to put around ” riddled with so many addictions”?
      Like, try, Tim is a sensitive, hard working man who struggles at times to be his best, healthy self as his family is not the best support, and friends…?
      However, over the past … Year? Two years, Tim has achieved a huge amount in terms of health, sobriety, thinking hard about caring for himself, reaching out here to others…
      I could go on…

    • @tim I’m so glad you are taking some time off to focus on yourself and feel grounded again. It’s normal to feel vulnerable at 11 days but you know you will continue to get stronger.

    • Hey @tim you trying to figure out why your on the Feeris Wheel? I would say stop worrying about all your “other addictions” focus on the one your here for. I could think of many other so called addictions that are minor in comparison. Have you thought your reading to much into them? To me it does. Seems A.A not working, try own self motivation, rational recovery. I believe they have a group at A&D in chch or they used to. Think you need to branch out. Tell me to fark off but you have been here so many times before.

    • Good plan lovely! Stay strong @tim❤️

  • tim posted an update 1 month, 4 weeks ago

    Hello all
    9 days sober today
    Attending AA meetings,they are realy helping!
    Complete surrender
    Thanks 4 support
    Keep going
    Peace

  • tim posted an update 2 months ago

    Hi all sobering along
    Workin one more day till easter yay!!

  • tim posted an update 2 months, 1 week ago

    I had a slip last night
    Feel broken,emotional wreck
    Lots of tears today
    I dont want to be a alciholic anymore its realy no fun.
    Jst make it through today sober tomorrows a new day.
    God bless

    • Hi Tim! Good that you checked in. Go easy on yourself, it’s okay. You can start again. You have started again. All good. Keep checking in. x

    • @tim, please don’t lose faith in being AF. You know you can do it now so just get back on the horse. I had so many day 1’s over the years and it’s really a learning experience each and every one. Just be easy on yourself today….thinking about you.

    • Take care @tim, wish I could pop over for a cuppa and tell you how great you are.
      No it’s no fun. But it was one day, with over 100 AF days before it, and more in front of you. Your AF days now greatly outnumber your drinking days. So be kind to yourself, you are doing this.

    • It’s just a slip @tim, don’t go beating yourself up about a t, it’s part of the process sometimes! Look after yourself today and jump straight back on the horse ❤️❤️❤️

    • Glad you came back here @ tim! It always makes me smile to see you, slip or not. Get that mindset right and join us back on the path. We’re right here with open arms.

    • Hi Tim. Every day is a new beginning, and regardless of how many days you have under your belt there’s always one days that’s far more important than all the others… and that’s today. What we do today is what will soon be our past. What we do with it matters more than anything else. It sets our past and steers our future. Give yourself a good bollocking, then get back to it.

    • I know your feeling @tim. I relasped a week ago and have been berrating myself ever since. Lets keep walking foward.

    • How did the day go Tim? Feeling for you bud.

    • Oh I’m sad you are sad @tim. And so glad that you came back and talked to us again. Take care and not too much berating please !!! Just back on the wagon, you know how it goes…

    • oxoxoxo You are so loved and welcomed here, Tim.
      I lapsed 3-4 times in the beginning…..once at day 140 or so and it felt like shit.
      Let’s focus on all those sober days and not that slip.

      They all still matter.
      And you will bounce back.

      oxoxox

  • tim posted a new activity comment 2 months, 1 week ago

    Thanks

  • tim posted an update 2 months, 1 week ago

    Peace love and gratitude
    These words create the most beautiful water cristals.
    And we are 90%water
    Move with these words in your heart
    Create beutiful loving soulfull selfs
    Today right now!
    With lov and gratitude anything is possible
    With peace the world would be 100% better place.
    A grateful drunk dosent drink!!
    Today im grateful for mrs D and being able to express myself on this site.
    Im grateful for my higherpower and the realationship were building.
    Im greatful for Aa for giving me a voice and listerning.
    Greatfull for roof overhead,food in cubboard,petrol in car!
    Today anything is possible
    Cos were sober!
    Keep moving forward
    TRUCKING THE ROAD TO HAPPY DESTINY
    PEACE
    God bless

  • tim posted an update 2 months, 1 week ago

    113 days
    A good omen
    Yay sober me
    Trucking the road to happy destiny
    Going forward
    One day at a time
    Peace

  • tim posted an update 2 months, 1 week ago

    112 days
    Keep on truckin
    You good things
    God bless
    Stay strong

  • tim posted an update 2 months, 2 weeks ago

    Hello sober people of the world
    110 sober days
    6 and a bit days vape free too
    Im using patchs and lozengers to stay vape free
    Been a tuff week
    With a lot of anger and bad grumpy patches
    Alot of swear words the f word especially.
    Hope this will pass
    Mind you had smoking and vaping to push down feelings and emotions for 28 years
    So its a merical ive stoped with the help of a loving higherpower anything is possible!!
    Was going to stop coffee as well but im drinkin a few cups now guess one thing at a time.
    Been eating a lot of junk this week
    Am going to hav to watch my food intake as i can see this will be my next challenge!!
    I’ve booked in for some counseling next week with a Christian councilor so coll want to talk about my family and child hood trauma
    And addiction, anxiety, depression well all the good stuff realy so looking foreatd to getting it out and hopefully more tools for tool box!!
    Yyyaaay vape free me
    Only freash air for timmys lungs
    One min one hr one day at a time
    Mericals do happen
    Look at all of us ex boozers!!
    Stay cool to after school….then do the next right this
    God bless
    Peace be with ya!!

    • Yeah look at all of us ex- boozers! I am so proud of us, we’re amazing. I agree Tim- it’s too much to sort out all of our addictions in one hit, but they can be picked off one at a time. (I’m terrible with coffee, and for now that’s the way it is). Good to hear you naming your angry feelings, helps seperate yourself from them a bit. You are not your feelings. You are a wonderful person who is making great strides towards a sober, sane and calm life. Kia kaha Tim!

    • Great job on 110 @Tim – I quit smoking too and boy do I feel so much better.

    • Nice work Tim, one thing at a time x

    • Congrats @tim! Wow! ❤️❤️

    • peace be with you, @tim. i quit smoking about two months before i quit drinking. of course, now i shove food down my throat. goodness forbid, i would think about what i am actually continuing to keep down with all the stuff i stuff down my throat. it is a lot of word this addiction stuff. congrats to you . for all of it.

    • I missed you! So glad to see you at 110 days and now vape free too! xo

    • good work timmy! ๐Ÿ˜€

    • Hi @Tim it’s good to see you again. Staying connected was a huge help to me. Please don’t lose touch, especially when things seem bleak.

  • tim posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Thanks heaps
    Its good to not feel alone

  • tim posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Yes thanks
    I hav a couple of friends.

  • tim posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Thanks

  • tim posted an update 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Traveling a bit hard today
    Having real trouble getting my head around
    The fact my family hav givin me very little emotional support on this journey.
    From 17 its been your a adult now you look after your own shit now.
    Yes they put a roof over my head and food on the table…but no emotional support or loving support its allways been you look after yourself you find out for your self .
    Were has the loving guidance been …nil
    So i find myself in the same place again
    Finding my own way.
    Tuff lov i supose
    Its not what i need
    Emotions and feelings are coming up
    And family are like build a bridge
    Man…..bit lost
    Spose ill keep on trucking
    At this time in our life im just going to stop looking for support there.
    I jst get hurt evertime.
    Peace

    • oxoxoxo
      Not feeling seen and heard by our family of origin can cause a lot of suffering.
      No wonder you feel the way you do.

      Just know it is NOT your fault, and that blue wave that may be lurking around today is going to pass. It won’t always be as hard as it feels like today. Sometimes (most of the time!) all we can do is go to bed early….sleep….wake up and take a shower….a brisk morning walk…and we already feel 10-20% better.

      oxxoxox

    • Hiya @Tim. In some odd turn in the natural structure, family is often the least compassionate to their family members. It’s sad, for sure. I think we all experience that, from time to time and, for different reasons. Hmph. Sometimes, we just have to learn how to forgive them. Have you had a frank discussion with one or more of them to explain how you feel about their apparent lack of ‘care or concern’? That well runs deep, I suspect. In the meantime, you sure have us (And, a few select friends?)

    • Hey @tim I can totally relate to that! I have zero emotional support from my family also and I keep hurting myself over and over trying to get it and failing. I know now that it is pointless as they will not change and I have to look for support elsewhere. It sux, you think being family they should be there always but unfortunately it’s not always the case. Over the last few months I have been distancing myself from my family because I always end up feeling like shit whenever I see them and I need to put myself first.
      Stay strong, we are here to support you, post whenever you need xxx

    • @tim, I get it. Half of my immediate family have died from alcohol and drugs and the other half are a mess and totally self absorbed. I get my support from the friends I’ve made in AA and from here. That’s enough for now. Don’t need people who will drag me down when I’m trying to move up.

    • I really relate to all this. It bloody hurts and theres a certain grief to be lived through with the acceptance of it all. I hear you. I let mine go. They are hate filled judgemental narcissists and life is better without them in it. I drank to dull the hurt but it left me in a worse place emotionally and spiritually. The world is full of good people who care. Peace out.

    • Sorry itโ€™s tough right now @tim and that your family doesnโ€™t offer/give you any support. One thing for sure……neither will alcohol. Oh it will pretend itโ€™s your best friend but you know it will leave you feeling worse than you do now. Stay strong and this will pass. Do something good for yourself and or someone else. You can ride this out. Sending you strength.

  • tim posted an update 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    We’re all survivors
    Addiction
    We were Enslaved in a habit that will take us out!
    But now we know the beauty of being free.
    May its ok
    Everythings going to be allright
    Push on through
    I think your days about to get better
    Keep ya chin up
    Stoping drinking is not a sacrifice
    But a awesome opportunity.
    One foot in front of the other
    Walking the road to happy destiny!
    Peace and god bless

  • tim posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Yahoo

  • tim posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Yay

  • tim posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Cheers

  • tim posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Thanks

  • tim posted an update 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Feeling better
    100 days
    Still ruff but ruff enough
    Sober the main thing
    Peace

  • tim posted an update 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    99 days struggling today
    I got realy angry yesterday its a emotion i dont know how to handle it went from zero to realy anger in minutes straight away i wanted to drink .had a crap night sleep and today i dont want to leave the house,may be everything has come to a head with everything thats happened the last few weeks in chch
    Going camping with my father didnt help at all some things he said hurt me my family dont understand at all and there not emotionally there at all.
    Realy feel like turning my thinking off
    Jst gona put self to bed today.

    • Hi @Tim! I’m sorry that things are so hard for you right now. Traumatizing time in Chch. Smart you – going to bed early. Keep checking in, xo

    • Hey @tim I am so sorry to hear you are struggling ! Do whatever you need to get through this without resorting to alcohol ❤️
      Are there any meetings you could go to today or perhaps get out for a surf?
      Stay close here and let us know how you are going xxx

    • Youโ€™re going through a tough time at the moment. Itโ€™s good to acknowledge your feelings but donโ€™t let them take you down. Perhaps go for a walk or a surf. Itโ€™s a good thing you donโ€™t drink as that stuff will make it all a hundred times worse. Take care.

    • yes, sounds like a good idea, time to go to sleep. tomorrow. its another day.

    • It really is a hard emotion to handle @tim.
      It’s been a bit of a life-long project for me too. I just want to acknowledge that you felt really hurt by whatever your Dad said. It matters. You keep trying with your family even though it seems there’s a high risk you’ll come away feeling hurt and angry. I’m so sorry, that’s a very painful situation. It’s also very brave of you to keep trying. For today I hope you can look after your hurt heart. What might your heart need I wonder. To stay inside; to get active, to call a friend, to get in the sea…? Go gently today.

    • In my book, going to bed early is a great plan.

    • Ouch that sounds really painful @tim. You don’t seem an angry kind of a guy. Your dad has inadvertently (I think) pushed some buttons. Ouch ouch ouch. Please please hang in ther, you know drinking would hurt not help.

  • tim posted a new activity comment 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    97 glorious days yay!!

  • tim posted an update 2 months, 3 weeks ago

    Today I rise again
    To keep up the good fight
    Free,free together were free
    To make good choices
    To start good habits
    To keep doing the next right things
    I dont want to spend my life stuck in a pattern
    I want to be different
    I want to be changed
    One foot in front of the other
    2 steps forward 1 step back
    Rome wasn’t built in a day
    May all your wishes come true
    Keep it simple
    Keep it true
    To you
    Self honesty is the way
    We can do it ,to a new day
    One day we’ll look back and laugh
    At the madness that used to be!
    You know
    We can do this!!
    Give yourself a pat on the back
    Or a big self bear hug!!
    Your doing allright
    Your going good
    Keep up the good fight
    Together WE can do this!@
    PEACE!!:)

  • tim posted an update 2 months, 4 weeks ago

    Gidday people of the world
    Sober is sober does
    Sober as a happy sober thing
    Higher power strength of my soul
    May today be sober bliss
    God truth and light
    My we keep up the good fight
    And help another
    To get outa my head
    My stupendest thinking problem
    That only action can fix
    And doing the next right thing
    So let the sober joy flow
    Pray my cup run over
    Peace love n gratitude!!!!!!!

  • tim posted an update 3 months ago

    Gidday crew
    Heading south with my dad
    For a boys trip to Kakanui
    Hope the surfs a good size and pumping!!
    Bonfire on da beach taking my guitar and my didgeridoo some soul time!
    So cool to be emotionally sober and cool to hang with dad he’s 74 this year!!
    Anyhoo
    Remember good times..tuff times
    Everything passes
    So jst try to enjoy the ride!!
    Peace,lov n gratitude
    God bless

  • tim posted an update 3 months ago

    90 days peeps
    Only 10 more sleeps to the hundie club
    Stay as strong as a strong thing!!
    We can do this
    If i dont pick up the first drink i wont get drunk!!
    Keep up the good fight
    God bless
    Peace n lov 2 ya!!

  • tim posted an update 3 months ago

    Jst went for surf
    Feeling heaps better!!
    Peace lov n gratitude!!

  • tim posted an update 3 months ago

    Hello all
    Yesterday i was realy sad and depressed as to what happened in chch.
    Realy felt like numbing the feelings out,spent the day by myself got no /very little support from family which is sad.(no more isolating )
    Im a Big feeler/very sensitive person this can make living in the world difficult and a challenge.
    I normally dont watch the news not for 4 years but fri night and yesterday watched a lot on whats happened etc so definitely a overload for me.
    Proud im sober today had a huge sleep put myself to sleep realy early last night so feeling ok this morn.
    The feelings are passing
    My heart goes out to the people and families still suffering in chch.
    Drinking and druging would only be a temporary solution to feelings,emotions that take time to heal.
    Thanks very much for the support
    Cheers melnz
    And to all you sober superstars
    Keep on trucking
    We can do this!!

    • i’m sorry @Tim, I am also an “empath” or sensitive person, I pick up vibes or waves of emotions from others or just sometimes places themselves. Treat yourself gentle, is there something you can indulge in to feel better? Swim in the surf? probably cool there now tho. Whatever, sending good vibes (which you could possibly pick up too) out across the world buddy. Shut the news down. You have seen and heard enough. You are doing really well. Take care.

    • Me too @tim Iโ€™ve been trying to manage my media intake

      You are doing so great

      Can you reach out to your family for support? Just go and spend some time? They might not realize how much this impacts you?

      I think a swim or walk in the forest sounds like just the ticket @reena x

    • Hi @Tim I was feeling extra sensitive yesterday too. Unfortunately my daughter watched the live stream footage of the attack before it was removed and had sent the link to me. I chose not to watch it and am so glad I didnt because it affected my daughter deeply. So glad you woke up sober and feeling better this morning. Sometimes looking after ourselves is all we can do to help. Have a nice restful Sunday.

    • Big hugs to you! It is so devastating even more so being a sensitive person and living in Christchurch ❤️ Well done on staying sober and looking after yourself, that’s awesome!
      Can you get out today, go for a surf, go for a bush walk, go out for a coffee with a friend just for some connection?
      Stay strong @tim ❤️❤️❤️

    • Aw, Tim! Good on you staying away from the media. The psychs here told us to not watch happenings such as this over and over because we get retraumatized everytime and never get to move on to healing. Hugs to you and all my NZ friends!

    • Yes @Tim I am struggling deeply with it too. One nice thing was yesterday in Tauranga when my friend @normaleelucid was taking me back to the airport we passed a mosque and there were people there milling about, some praying, some bringing flowers, some muslem, some not, all there together, far away from Christchurch, feeling it, connecting, showing their repsect. It was beautiful.

    • Hi Tim. It is sad your beautiful city is suffering once again. Our safe little haven NZ has been violated. Well done on remaining sober and using your knowledge to keep safe. Sending my compassion to you Tim.

    • Mornin’ @tim. Great to see you’re still flying ๐Ÿ™‚ Lean into God as we grieve, m’friend.

    • Good job mate keep it up. feeling for all the people in Christchurch youโ€™ve all had a rough few years.

  • tim posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Ok cool thanks

  • tim posted a new activity comment 3 months ago

    Thanks,god bless

  • tim posted a new activity comment 3 months, 1 week ago

    Thanks 4 support

  • tim posted a new activity comment 3 months, 1 week ago

    Thanks will look after my self cheers

  • tim posted a new activity comment 3 months, 1 week ago

    Hi it tim im ok bit upset but ok:)

  • tim posted an update 3 months, 1 week ago

    Hello
    Im ok and safe
    In a bit of shock realy,as whats happened makes me sad,angry this kinda thing should not happen anywere but cant believe its happened in my home town christchurch.

  • tim posted an update 3 months, 1 week ago

    Sober me
    87 days
    The sobriety counter says
    Bit o rain on the roof
    Time to hav a nice pray
    And go about the day
    Smile as i work
    Connect with people and the earth
    Happy to be clean n sober
    Keep up the good fight
    As Maori tim used to say
    Don’t repeat it
    Be coming mentally healthier by the day!!
    Give your self a pat on the back or a self bear hug!!
    Knowing that god loves us very much
    Peace:)

  • tim posted an update 3 months, 1 week ago

    Morning all
    85 days yay
    Still alive haha
    Hav a nice day
    Peace

  • tim posted an update 3 months, 2 weeks ago

    Living the sober dream
    Working away
    Suns shining
    Jst in the moment
    God loves us!!
    Peace

  • tim posted an update 3 months, 2 weeks ago

    Morning crew
    Sobering along at 72 days yay
    Hope you’ve been traveling well
    Together nothings to big!
    Keep doing what works 4 you!
    God bless
    Everything for your good!!
    Peace

  • tim posted an update 3 months, 3 weeks ago

    Hello all
    Sober 71 days
    Been a lot overwhelmed lately
    NOT GOING TO DRINK OR DRUG
    Letting my emotions go im not in control
    Ive jst lately realized im addicted to selfpity and afraid to be happy a lot of the time.
    Seems crazy but is true
    There seems to be a safe place in being blue
    Learning to hand it over to god
    God actually wants me to be joyous happy and free!
    If your struggling thinkin of ya
    Sending happy thoughts your way!
    God bless

  • tim posted an update 4 months ago

    Hello
    Hows it going
    Try to be strong today!
    The sun is rising down the beach
    A beautiful orange yellow
    Over a green blue ocean
    With amazing mysterys
    Unfolding in the light
    The driftwood sits on the shore line
    In the shadows of day and night
    Footprints on the sand leading
    To a better way
    Raised arms to the sky
    And i say hallelujah SOBER TODAY!!
    PEACE B WITH YA
    GOD BLESS!!

  • tim posted an update 4 months ago

    62 days:) thats good for my ego!!
    Well my funk has passed
    Thanks to jesus
    Having a higher power in my life is awesome
    Jst take my hands off the wheel and let him steer.
    I do take back my will alot this gets me in trouble.
    Need to live the thy will be done way
    As my will and ego wants me using everytime.
    Been traveling well with the drinking side of my addiction i did think of drinking before church last night as i was quite anxious and had a f,it thought but made the effort and my anxiety passed,it was awesome once this passed !!
    I realy dont want to be lost down the rabbit hole again as my higher power and me are finding a new way!
    Realy exciting to be sober and moving to be healthier and nicotine free and drink less caffeine!
    Dads b day today which will be nice..hav to buy a prezzy 4 him and spoil him a wee bit.
    Like ti fit a meeting in too but my itinerary is kinda full till wednesday…….hm
    Actually i think theres a new meeting that starts early 645 on a mon,wed ,fri
    Will check my meetings list.
    Any hooo gota fly
    If your struggling put your trust in a higherpower!
    Dont pick up the first drink
    Reach out to other people
    We cant do this alone its too big
    Together we can do anything
    Stay cool
    Be you
    God and us
    We’ve got this!!
    Peace!!

  • tim posted an update 4 months ago

    Feelin a bit flat
    Well how about that
    Up n down
    Round n round
    Cant be happy all the time
    If i dont hav the lows
    Wont know the highs
    Lows are better hangover free
    No headaches for me
    Or empty wallet with blackout memories
    Or my gods what happened last night
    So people keep up the good fight
    Jst ask god to set you free
    He will help you and me!
    Hav a happy day were ever you are
    Stay sober everyone we will go far!
    ….haha feeling better now!!
    Peace,lov n gratitude 2U!!

  • tim posted an update 4 months ago

    Hello sober super stars
    Well im 59 days sober today
    Feeling ok
    Been a lot happy today
    Hope i dont crash and burn
    Hav a few days off till next wed so good time to catch up on meetings and selfcare.
    Hope to catch a wave or two as well…and a gym sesh.
    Any good tips to loose a sugar belly
    Spose eat nutrient meals and exercise
    Smaller portions i cook for myself so theres allways enough for two….could freeze half?
    And im still fully oversensitive any ideas on how to overcome that one?
    Seems i used alcohol too numb thoughs uncomfortable feelings for a long time!!
    Now if someone says anything hurtfull i take offence and hold on to it.
    At aa theys say pray for that person wish them all the best!!
    Think ill give that a go!
    Keep up the good fight people
    We’re doing ok
    Jst for today.
    Peace

    • Definitely try the keto way of eating. I have barely touched sugar for 29 weeks and not craved anything much. Great food, never hungry.
      It is known to really help with mood too, many on the NZ keto FB site saying they don’t need their depression or anxiety meds any more. Amazing healing occurs for so many years health issues. Check it out ๐Ÿ™‚

    • Yes! Challenge your thoughts: It’s not about you, it’s about them. Maybe they’re having a bad day. Wow, it must be hard to be them. They just don’t understand how that hurt. Etc. Etc.
      It may be easier to challenge your thoughts if you understand your underlying schema. A schema is the primary theme that underlies your negative thoughts about self and usually, it is derived in childhood. So, for instance, one of my schemas is that I’m never good enough, which was likely derived from my mother’s idea of what makes a woman worthwhile is her beauty and my mother’s concept of beauty does not include me. So, then breaking that down, you recognize that that is illogical because all humans have their own beauty; her narrow concept of beauty is really about her own insecurity; and then you find the compassion for her (because how sad is that that her world is so closed?), thus are able to free up from the schema. However, the schema has been layed down, so being freed up from it really means you are able to challenge it and not be defined by it.
      Hope that isn’t too confusing or weird. But, seriously, it works.

      • Loved your advice and explanation of schemas and how they affect our thoughts, Frog! Either you are in the business of therapy or you have a damn good therapist. =) To put in my 2 cents @tim, I also like to think of them as “the stories we well ourselves”. For example, what are the stories I tell myself about why I’m never supposed to feel angry? (Good girls don’t get angry, no one likes you when you are angry, kept to yourself because nothing changes). Where does this story come from? (society, and my family when I was growing up). And then what is a new story I can tell myself when I catch those old thoughts occurring? (Ah, here it is again. I’m feeling angry, but I’m stuffing it down because I was not “allowed” to have that feeling in the past. Its okay to be angry and its good to express it so that the people around me have the opportunity to make changes). Same concept, said just a little differently.

    • Yeah, another perspective is when. People say hurtful things it’s often a reflection on them and their own issues which are being deflected on to you. Try to put the mean comment in an imaginary balloon @tim and imagine letting it go as it flys away ! ❤️❤️❤️

    • Can totally relate @tim, working on the same. I love all the advice above, letting the thoughts go is a work in progress. You are a rockstar 59 days!!!!

    • Wow Tim! Super awesome job.

  • tim posted an update 4 months ago

    Good day here
    Stay cool peeps
    Keep in the flow
    Good vibes going your way
    Peace,lov n gratitude

  • tim posted an update 4 months, 1 week ago

    Hello
    Be like tree
    Drop dead leaves
    Holding on to resentments
    Only hurts me
    Its like drinking poison
    And hoping the other person dies
    Drinking alcohol and druging for me
    Is like having a headache and bashing my head with a hammer to try and alleviate it.
    Moving forward
    One step at a time
    As the sun will rise
    I too will rise
    Hope its a good sunrise bro!!
    All the best…
    Thy will be done ,not mine
    My will gets me undone and stuck.
    Peace B with you:)

  • tim posted an update 4 months, 1 week ago

    Yaaay my shxty mood has passed
    Onwards and upwards i say
    God bless ooo

    • Continued prayers of cleansing & protection, @tim. You’re shining (even though you might not have felt too shiny earlier) ride the waves, m’friend. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • tim posted a new activity comment 4 months, 1 week ago

    Stayed up past bed time…payin for it

    • Oooo up late on a school night ;). Take time for some self care today Tim. You are doing sooooo well!

  • tim posted an update 4 months, 1 week ago

    Hungry
    Angry
    Lonely
    TIRED
    Definitely
    Tired
    Drinkin wont help
    Its the thinkin not the drinkin
    I will not escape 4 today
    Head on one step at a time
    We can do this
    Pooo to alcohol
    Nasty shxt
    Drinkin is not the solution
    Jst makes things 100 times worse
    Time to pray
    And get on with the day!!
    Peace lov n gratitude
    We can do this!!

  • tim posted a new activity comment 4 months, 1 week ago

    You hav a great day,nite 2

  • tim posted an update 4 months, 1 week ago

    Goood mooorning peeps of the world!
    What ever comes our way we can choose to be sober and drug free
    Yaaay
    We’re saved from the madness
    The loop of addiction
    No longer
    Im the one who dug this grave
    But god and you set me free
    Thankyou!
    Keep it up peeps
    Together we can do this
    A true rescue:)

  • tim posted an update 4 months, 1 week ago

    Hello sober warriors
    KEEP UP THE GOOD FIGHT
    Yay day off
    Time to get up and into action
    Jst call me tim the action man haha
    Faith without wrks is dead!!
    Well got to say i dont hav a drinkin prob i hav a thinkin prob.
    Positive thoughts today for everyone!!
    I woke up at midnight and ate icecream….such a bad ass these days seems i wont be buying ice cream in the grocerys anymore haha
    One scoops to many a whole cartions not enough lol
    At lest i didnt take chocolate to bed and wake up with chocolate every were wondering what happened lol
    Next mission to eat nutrient meals and loose my sugar belly !!
    Exercise way more
    Stay connected to jesus
    And jst do the next right thing!!
    GOD AND US CAN DO THIS!!
    TOGETHER WE CAN ACCOMPLISH ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING!!
    All we cant do anymore is drink and drug!!
    What a blessing!!
    Peace B with ya!!
    Hav a fab day!!

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