• Thewillie posted a new activity comment 2 days, 11 hours ago

    I am going to bed for a good cry. Tomorrow will spend time hiking with my dog and my daughter. Fuck booze and idiots. My dog, family and Netflix will be good companions for the time being.

  • Thewillie posted a new activity comment 2 days, 11 hours ago

    Me too! Boredom is a trigger but I hate drama. I get physical and that helps, getting older tho so get very sore some days lol

  • Well, I just lost one of my best friends. Tried to talk to her about what happened on the weekend but she was nasty again. After seeing her foaming at the mouth and raging drunk, I am done. Unfortunately she let me know she would keep showing up at outings and events because she thinks she did no wrong. All of my friends are a very close group so now I guess I have to deal with her or give up everyone. And she knows it. She’s actually rubbing it in. But I will take the high road after I have a good cry. She disgusts me now. Fucking booze!!!!!!

    • That’s rough, I’m sorry you have to deal with that.

    • What a difficult situation to be in. But choosing your sobriety and your own peace should probably be #1 for you. Maybe the rest of your friends will also notice her aggressive behavior and lean towards spending time with you without her.

      • I am going to bed for a good cry. Tomorrow will spend time hiking with my dog and my daughter. Fuck booze and idiots. My dog, family and Netflix will be good companions for the time being.

    • Such a sorry situation. She sounds like she gets nasty when she drinks. If that’s the case, it won’t be long before she unleashes herself on somebody else in your group. You’re doing the right thing on both accounts; protecting your sobriety and taking the high road. You’ll come out on top all the way around.

    • I have had to let go of a particularly nasty friend when she drinks. It was pretty harrowing the things that were said. However I do not miss her and her negativity. We have chosen a path towards change. A extremely positive change.

  • Thewillie posted a new activity comment 5 days, 14 hours ago

    Thank you. I’m so upset right now I really want to lash out. But I won’t. Won’t sleep, but won’t drink either..

  • Holy hell. Went for the night with friends. “Best friends”. Took my daughter with me, she’s of age. My so called friend made the night hell. Was extremely critical of me and her. Made us feel unwelcome and unwanted. Nasty stuff was said. Because she was very drunk. I’m not sure that’s an excuse anymore. She ruined some relationships that are almost 30 years old. Why did this happen? Because she was drunk and mad at me and my daughter because we weren’t. I never felt so ashamed of somebody. If alcohol does this, I’m glad I quit! I’m so fucking angry right now I want to slap her. Don’t need this in my life, nor does my family. Time to move on I guess. Broke my heart.

    • That must have been awful for you @thewillie I always say this says more about them than it does about you. Maybe she felt guilty cos you were doing something she would like to do i.e.stay sober.I’d write her a note on a nice card and very politely and kindly dump her until she can accept your new lifestyle, if she really cared she would be pleased for you. Well done for not giving in, keep safe.😺

      • Thank you. I’m so upset right now I really want to lash out. But I won’t. Won’t sleep, but won’t drink either..

    • Sounds awful! Yes, that is exactly what alcohol does. Ugly, isn’t it? I’m glad I quit, too.

    • I’m so sorry @thewillie
      Painful & just awful 🙁

    • Wonder if she remembers… you not drinking obviously has big triggers for her and how she sees herself and how she is judging herself such a shame she took it out on you. Alcohol does not bring out the best in people

    • It sounds like your choice to be sober was forcing her to face the fact that she wasn’t, and she didn’t like what she say in that mirror and lashed out to protect her choices. My guess is she is probably feeling like an asshole now. Of course you want to lash out – I don’t blame you a bit. I think your silence will be more effective though. When she wakes up sober (and hungover), if she remembers the things she said, think how horrible she’s going to feel and the regret and shame. I remember so many mornings I woke up very ashamed of the awful things I had said or done the previous night. And luckily, those that love me continued to love me and know that one terrible night didn’t define my entire existence. I truly hope your friend earnestly works to repair the damage she has done. And if not – then you may need to just burn that bridge. <3

    • I wrote similar post after my family meal Sunday…..it is no excuse to be mean once you’re drunk

    • So sorry to hear this. Just remember she’s sick and perhaps maintain boundaries away from her and focus on your own recovery. You and your daughter don’t need the negativity and drama of that when you are determined to be sober and healthy. I find that in the early days of recovery it’s best not to be around people that drink alcoholically and it’s not judgment – it’s just that it’s not healthy. You can sadly see what you never want to become though. I always think of these things as lessons as it sets the tone for what you really need in your life right now. Peace, harmony, health and self care.

  • Thewillie posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    Distract works for me. Sometimes it’s easy, other times I nearly go nuts, but I never regret it. I keep telling myself..pathways in the brain..retrain..

  • Thewillie posted a new activity comment 1 week ago

    It takes time…and don’t beat yourself up…we’ve all been there. This is a great start, if you feel bad about drinking then you are in the right place

  • Thewillie posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 3 days ago

    I am joining you ❤️

  • Thewillie posted a new activity comment 3 weeks, 5 days ago

    Sounds exactly like me, this is a good reminder

  • Thewillie posted an update 1 month ago

    Struggling right now with recent events, sometimes I really hate people..especially the ones you love the most

    • Yep get that. Hard in those times ,with those feelings not to go for soothing—- this is me, .. Take care, the feelings will pass, or take a break .

    • family members can hurt us the most, expect less, forgive more is my new coping mantra

  • Thewillie posted a new activity comment 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    👍

  • Thewillie posted a new activity comment 4 months, 4 weeks ago

    I did it alone at home too, watching some stupid thing on Netflix or whatever because I was alone with no questions in the am, but missed out on some fun times with my family because being alone with my drink and mindless tv was more important…so sad..life is too freaking short

  • Thewillie posted a new activity comment 4 months, 4 weeks ago

    I did that as well..heaven forbid I had to share

    • Right?! I barely felt like two bottles were enough for me. Let alone a second person. Outrageous request, lol. I also think that’s why I loved my YouTube part-for-me nights. Nobody saw how much I really poured down my throat…..I didn’t have to share my stuff….and I didn’t have to reflect on my behavior and suffering since I was alone.

    • I did it alone at home too, watching some stupid thing on Netflix or whatever because I was alone with no questions in the am, but missed out on some fun times with my family because being alone with my drink and mindless tv was more important…so sad..life is too freaking short

  • Thewillie posted a new activity comment 4 months, 4 weeks ago

    Take care of yourself ❤️

  • Thewillie posted a new activity comment 5 months ago

    Sending hugs xo❤️

  • Thewillie posted a new activity comment 5 months ago

    Enjoy your grandson, thinking about you❤️

  • Thewillie posted a new activity comment 5 months ago

    Thinking about you, hope you get some sleep tonight. Xo ❤️

  • Thewillie posted a new activity comment 5 months ago

    Inspiring and amazing!

  • Thewillie posted a new activity comment 5 months ago

    I am in the same boat, sleep seems unattainable. Melatonin is helping.

  • Thewillie posted an update 5 months ago

    Shout out @daveh, I have read your books. Makes total sense, at least now I know why I am constantly fighting with myself. Next, to download Mrs.D’s book. Have a great day everyone!

    • Hi @Thewillie Re “now I know why I am constantly fighting with myself” Thank you, that’s the whole point of the book. Our biggest challenge in stopping drinking is actually not with alcohol but our own minds. It is our own minds that create all the cravings, bad emotions and sabotaging thinking that make stopping so difficult. When we know what the challenges are that are going come then it stops us feeling that we are weak, worthless going mad; forewarned is forearmed. Anyone is most welcome to download a free copy of “Alcoholism in a nutshell” here: https://lyingminds.sixboats.co.nz/alcoholism-in-a-nutshell/

      • Ohhh How come I didn’t know about this!!! I better get my hands on that one. Way to go for writing a book, DaveH!!!! oxoxoxo

  • Thewillie posted a new activity comment 5 months ago

    May you and those around you find peace, hold tight to each other and cry if you need to. ❤️

  • Thewillie posted an update 5 months ago

    I got some great news today….I am cancer free! Now to concentrate on me! Being healthy, stress free gatherings, and I am soooo committed to not drinking. Life is tooooo fuking short!

  • Thewillie posted a new activity comment 5 months ago

    I have been thinking about you. I know I’m possibly a world away but I care. Wish I had great advice to give but I’m hanging in there with you. You are not alone. Hugs❤️

  • Thewillie posted a new activity comment 5 months ago

    And you are in mine..hugs❤️

  • Thewillie posted an update 5 months ago

    It’s Thursday night in my neck of the woods, getting ready to get my scan results tomorrow, which is a 2 hour drive. Reminding myself that no matter what I will be ok. Either I’m sick or I’m not. I hate cancer almost as much as I hate alcohol!

  • Thewillie posted a new activity comment 5 months ago

    I wish I had some wisdom..all I know is a drink will send you down an even darker path..hold yourself strong even when others don’t, pull deep inside like a string and feel it pulling up, sometimes it helps me ❤️Xo

  • Thewillie posted a new activity comment 5 months, 1 week ago

    So sorry to hear this. Hugs ❤️

  • Thewillie posted a new activity comment 5 months, 1 week ago

    ❤️

  • Thewillie posted a new activity comment 5 months, 1 week ago

    Remember this feeling when things get tough..distract yourself and check in here. It’s helped me lots

  • Unfortunately I saw the live stream of the shootings in NZ. It cannot be unseen, disgusting, and horrific. May we not let hate win. Life is to short. My thoughts are with you. ❤️

    • Oh I’m sorry you saw that @thewillie

      I would encourage anyone else here to avoid watching it at all costs if if you see the beginning of it and realize what it is, shut it down. Our poor brains get traumatized by watching things on film. Take care of your brain ❤️

    • 💔💔

    • My 26 year old daughter watched it too. I wish I had been able to prevent her from watching it but I was too late. I do think tho it has woken her up to a reality that was needed though because her understanding of the Muslim community was very muddled and for her there is no life outside of her own. This is a great opportunity to arm our kids with more compassion and knowledge about the world we live in.

  • Thewillie posted a new activity comment 5 months, 1 week ago

    Went to bed early to deal with the cravings so I just heard the news. Thoughts are with all of you in NZ. ❤️ Xo

  • Spent over 6 hours at hospital today. Waiting to find out if cancer is back for the fourth time. Exhausted mentally at this point but did not drink last night even though I desperately wanted to just to get through this crap. Am worried for sure but not planning on a drink to deal with it. Yay me!! However, this really really fuking sucks!!!

  • Thewillie posted a new activity comment 5 months, 3 weeks ago

    Keep your chin up xo

  • Thewillie posted a new activity comment 5 months, 3 weeks ago

    Yahoo!

  • Thewillie posted a new activity comment 5 months, 3 weeks ago

    Congrats on a whole year!

  • Thewillie posted a new activity comment 5 months, 3 weeks ago

    Welcome!

  • Thewillie posted a new activity comment 5 months, 3 weeks ago

    Good for you! You just did right!

  • Thewillie posted a new activity comment 5 months, 3 weeks ago

    The first time I was diagnosed with cancer, it was thyroid. That was 17 years ago. I lost my thyroid and all 4 parathyroids. It started with a “p” and it did spread. Good news is that it’s all ok with the proper Meds. After they adjusted medications I felt normal. You got this! ❤️

  • Freedom! That’s what I notice most. I can do what I want…before I always had to plan around a drink, and how much I drank, and hiding it. I still catch myself wondering if I can keep a promise to myself or others and then I remember, it’s ok, I’m sober! Why on earth do we do that to ourselves! Anyway, out to shovel the 50 ish cms we got overnight, have a great day!

  • Thewillie posted an update 6 months ago

    The sun is shining this gorgeous Saturday morning! I am spending the day with my beautiful daughter instead of getting shitfaced like I used to. We are going to cheer on our athletes at the special olympics and treating ourselves to dinner…no booze today!

  • Thewillie posted a new activity comment 6 months, 1 week ago

    Simply and beautifully said, I am finally figuring this out heart and soul, and I am so much happier

  • Not sure how I’m feeling today. Lots of drama with my parents. My dramatic daughter told me to let it be. They are adults. I am not feeling like an adult today, just want to run away. Run fast and far… But ..on the upside my daughter is on the mend! Little victories I guess

    • That tangled ‘drama’ might make me feel a bit childlike, too @Thewillie. Even as an adult, the injustice of witnessing my parents’ actions/behavior/patterns, etc. can unearth a deep concern inside me. As a grown-up, I’m still fairly sensitive to certain similar ‘injustices’. Huh…and, my folks have been dead 20 yrs. Love the bright spark you find in your daughter, for suuuuuuuuure.

    • Let them be dramatic, you stay inside your peaceful place 🙂 (easier said than done)best wishes

    • @thewillie one of the best things I’ve learned on my path to sobriety is that when there is drama that doesn’t belong to you, you don’t have to join it. Let others own that shit. You look after you! Happy to hear your daughter is on the mend xxx

  • Thewillie posted a new activity comment 6 months, 2 weeks ago

    I hope to be this comfortable in my own skin someday, thank you and well said

  • Thewillie posted a new activity comment 6 months, 3 weeks ago

    I love Atlantic Canada! Wouldn’t trade it for anything! Happy Friday!

    • Wow, that’s three of us in Atlantic Canada… that I know about anyway. I’m an import from NZ. Love it here.

  • Thewillie posted a new activity comment 6 months, 3 weeks ago

    It’s definitely a problem in Canada!

  • Thewillie posted a new activity comment 7 months, 2 weeks ago

    Happy birthday!

  • Thewillie posted a new activity comment 7 months, 3 weeks ago

    Love it!

  • I am reading so many posts about the holidays, so many people trying so hard and beating themselves up. We are human, we all screw up. I think for me , I need to forgive myself and make the choice to move on. We are not perfect and we need to forgive ourselves first before we can get better (Just my opinion. ) my favorite quote..”she thought she could, so she did”

  • Thewillie posted a new activity comment 7 months, 3 weeks ago

    I am also on the east coast! I think it’s a great idea, it will help you to be accountable and you can limit any extremely personal stuff…although I do think it’s the personal that helps

  • i almost bought a bottle today. The thought consumed me all freakin day. The thought of having nothing here in case of “emergency” almost drove me nuts. How in hell did alcohol ever get that kind of control? So what if something goes wrong, it won’t kill me and a drink won’t solve it…longest day so far in this fight.

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