So when does a nearly 50yr old single mum of three, a Nanna to one, a health professional of all things, a fun type some may say with a good sense of humour decide that enough is enough ??? I’ve know deep inside for a very long time that enough really is enough but have chosen to just ignore it and find a myriad of excuses to just keep on doing it “Nah -it’s OK”Well,actually it’s not OK and its about as far from OK as it gets ...... once upon a time it was fun but it stopped being fun a long time ago..... night after night it’s the same endless conversations in my head about maybe tonight I won’t have a drink - but of course I always do, and of course it never stops at a drink or two ...... I just lose track of how many eventually.So when a social evening with friends in a bar ends with me secretly vomiting in the toilet the sudden self realisation and acceptance that I’m not like anyone else has finally hit home .....I can’t just have a social drink and then STOP..... oh no I can’t help from keep tipping this alcohol stuff down my neck.... I have to keep going till I can barely stand ....keep going until a poor friend of mine yet again has to ‘rescue’ me....put me to bed to sleep it off ....Then I wake in the morning, or at 3am, with memory blanks of the night before and im left in a very dark and depressed embarrassed place having to endure hours of remorseful critical internal punishment. .So finally this Boozy Bird has accepted that Enough is Enough ...... I want to stop...The ride to sober starts this week ..... Let’s go x
DAY 34 AF …… and while I feel totally proud I’ve achieved 34 days suddenly there’s a desire to get trashed and “fuck it” and I just want it and I’m sick of drinking tonic water, and I’m sick of the constant battling and flip flopping of wanting a drink/resisting it and not wanting a drink, and I’m tired of the obsessive thinking about it, noticing it around me, seeing other people comfortably drinking, reading about alcohol and I’m just tired of feeling sorry for myself at being on this path and while I totally accept it was 100% me that put myself on this path …..it just feels soooo hard and I feel it like a physical pain ….. and anyway now it’s off my chest and it’s out there. Feeling grateful for a place to vent …. ggrrrrrr sometimes this just sucks.
Hi @Tewy! Yes, it definitely sucks sometimes. But so much better than the alternative. This helped me with the ‘fuck it’ impulse, comes from Belle from tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com – she said if she ever were to drink again, it’d be okay if she did if she thought it through for a week, and after that, if she still thought it a good idea, she could have one, but she couldn’t have one on a ‘fuck it’ impulse. 34 days is amazing. Hang in there. : )
Thank you guys … it has just been a constant nagging feeling all day that I seem to have carried around like a dead weight and it’s just exhausting ….if I could I would just go to bed now at 7pm but I’m working a night shift tonight so simply can’t ….. I will just suck it up …..tomorrow is another day 😊
Yep but truly it gets better. Remember the drinking you see around you is your romantic perception . You aren’t seeing the health relationship issues and eventual carnage for those drinkers. Normies are not huge in population more than half are problem drinkers in a self perpetuating denial . ❤️