So when does a nearly 50yr old single mum of three, a Nanna to one, a health professional of all things, a fun type some may say with a good sense of humour decide that enough is enough ??? I’ve know deep inside for a very long time that enough really is enough but have chosen to just ignore it and find a myriad of excuses to just keep on doing it “Nah -it’s OK”Well,actually it’s not OK and its about as far from OK as it gets ...... once upon a time it was fun but it stopped being fun a long time ago..... night after night it’s the same endless conversations in my head about maybe tonight I won’t have a drink - but of course I always do, and of course it never stops at a drink or two ...... I just lose track of how many eventually.So when a social evening with friends in a bar ends with me secretly vomiting in the toilet the sudden self realisation and acceptance that I’m not like anyone else has finally hit home .....I can’t just have a social drink and then STOP..... oh no I can’t help from keep tipping this alcohol stuff down my neck.... I have to keep going till I can barely stand ....keep going until a poor friend of mine yet again has to ‘rescue’ me....put me to bed to sleep it off ....Then I wake in the morning, or at 3am, with memory blanks of the night before and im left in a very dark and depressed embarrassed place having to endure hours of remorseful critical internal punishment. .So finally this Boozy Bird has accepted that Enough is Enough ...... I want to stop...The ride to sober starts this week ..... Let’s go x
Day 6 and feel like my head is being crushed in a vice – I’m exhausted with the obsessive thinking about not drinking, stopping drinking, wanting a drink, fighting the urges, reading about alcohol, reading blogs, reading Mrs Ds book (which I love ), searching mindful meditations, watching Brene. Brown, googling withdrawal norms, ….. I can’t focus on anything else and I’m jumping around Netflix watching bits of things here and there cos I can’t concentrate …..my soda water and lime cordial over ice with lemon slice is just NOT cutting it ….. I’m wallowing in the bath just feeling incredibly sorry for myself tonight ……even the dog looks sad 😞. #thisreallysucks
Yep thank you ….a full week will be good …..otherwise this week is then all wasted ….I tipped all my alcohol away on day one ( after ‘hiding’ it in the garage initially ….lol who was I hiding it from – myself ?! Like I would forget where it was ‘hidden’ how ridiculous …..) I can’t even have a drink anyway ……and I know in the morning all will seem better again ….maybe I’ll just go to bed soon and hibernate !!
@tewy hi there, it will pass! I can’t believe how much free brain time I have now. Hang in there…..it absolutely gets better and you will realize you are thinking about things you haven’t in years, it just takes a bit of time. xoxoxxoxo
@tewy hang in there! The early days can be very tough – we look at others enjoying a drink wondering WHY WHY WHY we can’t have one too. The reality, plain and simple, is that we have no off switch. The day I finally accepted I could not moderate, was the day I was set free! I started to focus on everything I was gaining (my life and soul back) vs what I though I was missing out on (which is nothing). Treat yourself with gentle kindness. You’re doing something amazing for yourself and the wine witch is not happy about it. Tell her she’s no longer in charge.